Chapter 37
I punch a pillar and it cracks around my hand but it doesn't help whatever's happening right now. I stumble backward a bit and sink against another pillar, resting my fists on either side of my head as voices scream in my head on how badly I fucked up and how Loki doesn't want me anymore.
I curl up and feel myself go into a panic attack, digging the heels of my hands into my temples as I stare at my knees. He doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. He finally realized what a waste of time it was to deal with you constantly.
No, he didn't... He loves me... He just needs time to calm down... He won't leave me like that... He's going to make me feel better as soon as he's calm...
You're delusional! He's going to leave you and never look back! He'll take Quill with him and the other kids will follow! They're all going to leave you alone! My chest was heaving and someone rests a hand on my neck before a huge wave of calm is washing over me. My breathing slows down and they start to move their hand but stop when I tense slightly.
"Rogue, are you alright?" Doc asks gently as they come into my line of sight and I don't respond. They gently take my hands away from my head and I try to jerk them away but they hold tightly. "Hey, hey... It's OK... You'll be OK... Breathe..." I take a shaky breath and they smile gently. "There you go... Keep doing that... Just calm down..."
"There you go," They whisper when I'm calm and let go of my hands so I can rub the tears away quickly. "Now... What's wrong?"
"Nothin'," I mutter and they stare at me for a moment before flicking my forehead, hard. "Ow! What the Hell, Doc?"
"Don't you dare fucking lie to me, Rogue Quill Obfonteri Udonta Fletch," They growl and my eyes widen slightly, not used to them being pissed off at anyone, let alone me. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing." They glare at me and flick me in the forehead again. "Will you stop that?"
"Will you stop lying?"
"I'm not! It's nothing," I say simply with a glare toward them and they stare at me.
"You had a panic attack. I'd have to say it was big seeing as how you have only had them when your standing with people you care about was in jeopardy. Am I wrong?"
"No," I grumble and they look at me closely, seeing something.
"What did Loki do?"
"He didn't do anything!" They narrow their eyes at me and I feel like I'm in back in Med on the Eclector after jumping off a ship, breaking my leg. In front of everyone that was outside of Loki's Chambers.
"Didn't I just say not to lie to me?"
"Well, I mean, yeah, but-"
"Yet, here we are. Truth, Rogue. Now."
"He didn't do anything I didn't deserve," I mumble and they look at me, eyes softening a little bit.
"What happened?"
"He just asked me to leave... I... I don't know why I reacted like this... Fucking stupid..." I press the heels of my hands into my forehead and they stop me.
"Your mind was screaming many things," Mantis says carefully and I rub my face slightly.
"What could you possibly want, Brother?" Loki's voice makes me freeze slightly as I'm still rubbing my face and he looks at me. "Rogue...? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine..." He notices the pillar across from me and raises an eyebrow at me.
"You punched a pillar and cracked it. And you are currently on the ground with Doc in front of you. How does any of this make you fine?"
"Because I said I was," I growl and he looks at me, noticing how I don't quite make eye contact.
"I see... Well... Do not allow my being here to put a damper on you being 'fine'. I bid you all good night, again. Mother, would you please assist my Captain in finding chambers to sleep in for tonight?" I flinch slightly at how he says Captain and Frigga nods a little as she looks at both of us, concerned.
"Of course."
"Thank you, Mother." He leaves and I feel like shit, knowing he's still pissed.
"That was... Interesting," Thor says and I feel them looking at me as I stand.
"I can find my own place to sleep..." I walk off with my hands in my pockets and just wander around.
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When morning comes, I hadn't slept at all and go into the Grand Hall to see all but the Ogords and Loki are here. He comes in after me and I smile at him. "Hey, Loki. Are you able to talk?"
"My apologies, Captain. But, I am afraid I can not at the moment. I bid you a good day, Captain," I don't bother to hide my flinch at how he says Captain as he continues past me and I nod.
"Right, right... Sorry... Maybe later?"
"Probably not, Captain," The way he says it keeps getting worse each time he does and my shoulders droop with a wince at the way he says it.
"Right... Have a good day... I love you," I try with a small, hopeful smile and he nods as he continues away, not responding. My face falls at the lack of response and I lose any appetite I had, leaving the Grand Hall only to run into the Ogords. "Hi..."
"That was rough," Aleta says carefully and I rub the back of my neck slightly. "Come on. You need to eat something." They push me toward the table with the others and sit me between Loki and Yondu, going to get me something to eat.
I reach out to grab his hand and he stands. "My apologies, Captain. But I must be going. Busy day today." I give him a small smile and nod.
"Oh... OK... Lo-" He's gone before I can finish and the smile falls as my shoulders droop more. "Love you," I say softly to myself and feel cold, wrapping my arms around my middle slightly.
"Ya a'ight, Girl?" I smile reassuringly at him and nod.
"Yeah, I'm OK." He looks at me but doesn't respond and finishes eating. Stakar sets a plate in front of me and I stare at it, feeling nauseous just from looking at it.
"Eat it." Aleta hands me some utensils and I eat the food as I was told to, wanting to try to keep hiding how I'm not OK.
"Mom, Mom!" I look at Kruthin and he stands on the other side of the table. "We can't find Quill!"
"She's probably with Loki."
"We can't find Loki either. And Nebula said an M-ship was missing from the hangar."
"Which one?"
"Yours!" Thor was looking in shock along with their parents while the rest of my family was watching me and I swallow a bit.
"Get Nebula to get started on searching for it." He nods and runs off to do that. I finish the food and stand.
"I'll get your plate, kid. Go and find your idiot," Rocket says and I nod slightly, leaving.
Told you so. I ignore the voice and end up in Loki's Chambers. I grab the pillow he had slept on and hold it tightly to my chest, sinking to my knees next to the bunk. He left you, took Quill, and your M-ship. How does it feel? I bury my face into the pillow and breathe in his intoxicating scent.
Lemon, leather, mint, and oddly, smoke...
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Loki walks into his Chambers and sees me, getting annoyed and angry. "Rogue, what are you doing in here? I told you that I am busy today!" I whimper loudly and he's concerned, coming around to where I am. "Rogue?" I rock back and forth slightly on my knees and he crouches so that he's in my line of sight. "Rogue, are you alright?" I whimper still and he gently strokes my cheek. "Treasure, what is wrong?" I lean into his touch and he looks at me, realizing I'm going through a Sub Drop. "Oh, dear... Do not worry, Rogue... I will help you..." I whimper softly in confusion and fear when he stands, pulling the covers back. "It is alright, my Treasure... I am not leaving again..." He lifts me and gets me into his bunk before he spoons me, covering us both up.
I whimper louder and he gently rolls me over so we're face to face. "I apologize, my love..." He gently strokes my face and whispers sweet nothings to me.
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I blink and look at him before throwing my arms around his neck, surprising him. "You... You... You came back," I whimper and he holds me close.
"Of course I did. I did not even leave." I then realize what's happening and pull away quickly.
"I'm sorry! You... You're busy today! I'm sorry," I whimper, not looking at him, and he grabs my chin, making me look at him.
"That was a lie... I was still angry about last night and I acted cold to you... I apologize deeply, my Stars..." He gently brushes a thumb across my cheek and smiles gently. "Can you forgive me?" I nod a little bit and he looks at me.
"Yeah... Can... Can we please do what you didn't last night?" He nods and stands, going over to make sure the door is locked while I watch his every move. He comes over and sits while he has me stand. He undoes my pants and pulls them down with my underwear before pulling me over his lap easily, my upper body resting on the bunk. "Bare? Does it have to be bare?"
He swats my thighs two times on each and I yelp. "Yes, Rogue. It does. You know the rules. Do not complain about your spanking or...?"
"Or I get time in a corner afterward and ten extra with the implement of the lunar cycle..."
"Good girl." He starts to spank me in a steady rhythm of four on one side then four on the other in the same spot, four below the first spot then the same spot on the other side, four above the first spot then four on the other side in the same spot, and continuing to do that until I was crying openly over his lap, arms still wrapped around his pillow. "What implement this lunar cycle, my Stars?"
"Um... It's the, um..." I think and he rests his hand on my sore ass while he waits. "The..." I remember and try to suppress a groan, not doing too well.
"Twenty now and doubled amount of time in a corner."
"It's the paddle with holes," I say softly and he nods, procuring it from seemingly nowhere, but probably just from his bag on the bunk behind him.
"I shall be starting." He does the twenty at a hard and fast pace and I sob into his pillow at each one, getting progressively louder. "Nineteen... And... Twenty." He lands the last one and I bite down on the pillow as I sob, my ass hurting so bad. He lifts me into his arms and gently rocks me. "So good... My good girl... I am so proud of you, my Treasure..." I sniffle as I slowly calm down and he rubs my back.
"Good girl. Only one thing left then we may cuddle to your heart's content, yes?"
"OK..." He takes me over to the corner and gently sets me down, guiding my hands onto my head as he helps me kneel.
"Good girl." He gently strokes my head and sits nearby. "Thirty-four minutes." I don't complain and stare at the wall, eyes tired. "You will get a nap after it is done. I promise." I nod a bit and stay in position, staring at the wall still.
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By the time thirty-four minutes are up, my feet are asleep and he gently helps me to them, leading me over to the bunk. He gently settles my underwear over my well-whooped ass and I hiss sharply. "You may nap without your pants." I toe out of my boots and step out of my pants, crawling into the bunk under the blankets.
"Stay...?"
"Of course." He sits next to me and I cuddle into his side, wrapping my arms around his middle. I start to fall asleep as he reads a book and strokes my back since I'm laying on my stomach. I lift my head a bit and he looks at me. "Yes?"
"I love you..." He kisses my lips gently and I smile a bit.
"I love you too. Now, sleep. Please." He gently takes my glasses off and I rest my head back in his lap, nuzzling close to his stomach. He chuckles softly and strokes my back as I fall asleep almost instantly.
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I jerk awake when the doors are blasted open and look at everyone in my Misfit Family, Odin, Frigga, and Lady Sif through squinted eyes. "Ugh... No..." I drop my head back down against Loki's shoulder now and he chuckles. "Mmm... Go away... Sleeping..."
"This is why you should sleep during the night," Loki chuckles and I respond by burying my face further into his shoulder, too tired to care right now.
"Kid-" I cut Kraglin off by pushing myself up slightly and glaring at him, despite barely being able to see him.
"Nuh-uh. Get the fuck out. I have been awake for over twenty-four hours and I want to fucking sleep. Get out."
"Wasn't ya jus' mad at 'im?"
"Gramps, two seconds. Arrow. Out." They leave and Stakar and Charlie shut the doors behind them before I drop back on top of Loki. He snakes a hand under the covers and squeezes my ass through my underwear. I hiss sharply and look at him with a small pout. "What was that for?"
"Even if you are tired and cranky, you should still be polite to your family. And I seem to recall requesting you to speak civilly around my parents." He lightly pats my ass in a warning and I nuzzle into his neck.
"Sorry, Loki..."
"It is forgiven, my Love. Sleep some more, yes?" I nod and cuddle closer, relaxing a bit. He strokes my spine and I slowly fall back to sleep.
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I wake again when Loki tries to leave and wrap my arms tightly around his waist. "Stay..." He chuckles softly and gently squeezes the back of my neck.
"I would, Darling. However, we do have a wedding to prepare for, yes?" I furrow my eyebrows in slight confusion before nodding and let go of him. "Mother will be in soon to assist you in preparing. She will wake you up." He kisses my temple gently and leaves.
"Love you," I murmur as I burrow back into his pillow and he smiles.
"I love you as well, Rogue." I smile a bit and slip back to sleep a little bit.
"Rogue," Frigga calls softly as she rests a hand on my shoulder gently and I rub my eyes a bit. "Hello, my dear."
"Hi..." I carefully sit up and hiss softly at the pain in my ass. She hands me my glasses and I slip them on, noticing Yondu in the doorway.
"Boy made good on tha' threat ta tan yer ass?" He smirks and I roll my eyes slightly, not responding. "Yeah, 'e did, ain't 'e?" He snickers until he gets hit in the head by Stakar and he was dressed up.
"Damn, Pops. You clean up nice."
"Wait 'till ya see 'Leta," Yondu smirks and I stretch a bit, glad I got my ass handed to me before it got any more out of hand.
"Can't wait."
"I have an outfit for you, my dear," Frigga says and closes the doors in Yondu and Stakar's faces.
"'Ey," Yondu yells and I chuckle. She grabs the outfit from the back of the door and brings it over.
"I believe this will make you look amazing, my dear. Or, more accurately, you will make it look amazing." I smile a bit and she rests it on the bunk. "I will allow you some privacy to change. Let me know if you need help with anything." I nod and she goes through a side door. I grab the outfit and change into it, including the shoes.
I look in the mirror and gasp softly at how I look. The dress had a golden belt at the waist that had alternating Ravager Flames, my knives crossed, and my arrow, the bottom half is white cloth, and the top half having lace in patterns of flames, my knives, and arrows instead of flowers. The sleeves were similar, going all the way to the back of my hand, and the boots were simple riding boots. Weird. Frigga comes out of the side door and smiles brightly.
"I was right. You make it look amazing, my dear." She holds out a small crown of twigs and I look at it before flowers that look like flames sprout from it. "I can not add things that have a likeliness to your knives or arrow with this... But, I believe that the flowers that look like flames will be enough... Yes?"
"Yes... Thank you..."
"It is my pleasure, my dear." I bend down and she puts the flower crown on my head. "Perfect," She whispers and I smile. "Come. It is time for us to get the ceremony started." I nod and she opens the doors where the two of them were bickering with Kraglin too. Kraglin hits both of them and they glare at him.
"'Ey, Kid. Damn, ya look good." The others turn to look at me and Yondu whistles, his arrow shaking slightly at his side.
"Me? You guys have clothes that aren't the Leathers and you didn't bust them out for my first wedding?" They shrug and I scoff slightly, smiling though. "Idiots." Frigga leads the way outside and I smile a bit, seeing the stars out while lanterns float everywhere.
"You will enter from here and walk toward Loki. He will be under the archway that you see there." I nod as Frigga explains and she smiles gently at me. "If the three of you would come with me."
"Ah was gonna walk 'er ta 'im," Kraglin says and I look at him, surprised. "So ya don't eat no shit cuz ya fell."
"Jackass." He just smirks and Frigga shakes her head slightly.
"There will be no need for that. Do you know how to ride a horse?"
"A what?"
"A horse."
"Loki making sure I knew how to do that makes so much sense now... Yeah. Not well, but, yeah." She smiles and calls a horse over.
"Alteos will take you to Loki. All you must do is not fall off. Do you know how to ride sidesaddle?" She asks as I check the saddle to make sure it's on Alteos properly and I rub my temples.
"Yes... I hate riding sidesaddle. It's uncomfortable as all the Hells," I chuckle slightly and she smiles a bit.
"Luckily for you, I agree. So, you will not be riding that way. Please mount Alteos." She starts to grab a mounting block but I place one foot in a stirrup as I grab the cantle before using my right foot to push myself into the saddle and settle in it, putting my right foot in the other stirrup. "When did you learn to ride?"
"Not sure. Not long ago, though. I pick things up quickly." She smiles and looks at me.
"I knew that Loki was not shallow enough to be with you for your looks alone. It will be a short ride. Alteos is one of the fastest of my steeds. Allow us to get to the ceremony first." I nod and a portal opens so they can step through it. "Oh, and Rogue?"
"Yeah?"
"Hold on."
"What?" A horn blows through the archway as the portal closes and I realize what she meant immediately, grabbing the reins and horn on top of the pommel as Alteos goes off like an M-ship. "Shit!" I lean forward slightly and the flower crown stays on despite the wind whipping past me. I'm going to kill him.