Chapter 22
"I should have tried talking to anyone... But... Getting mutinied on after showing emotion kind of makes you paranoid and makes it hard to trust people... So... Just work with me and bear with me... Yeah?"
"I can do that, my dear Captain..."
"Thank you..." Gamora comes over and I look at her as she sits in front of us.
"I'm pissed at you. Mainly because I don't understand. You have a good life, why do you want to die? And are we part of why?" Loki leaves so I can talk to her and I sigh softly, thinking.
"It's not that I want to die... It's more... I feel like I should be dead..."
"Why?"
"Gamora... You shouldn't have to worry about this..."
"We're family. Family takes care of each other and helps them. I want to do that for you as you do for us," She says in a soft, awkward voice and I smile softly, thinking.
"How about this? Every solar cycle at about 1800, we all meet up in my Quarters after a meal so we can talk. Or it can be every other solar cycle. Or whenever one of you guys thinks we should. Yeah?"
"OK... So, if one of us thinks that we should talk to you, we've just got to come to your Quarters at 1800?"
"Right." She nods and looks awkward for a moment before she hugs me around the neck tightly.
"Please don't try to kill yourself again... You're the best person we've got... Please..." I hug her back just as tightly and don't respond right away.
"I can try my best, kiddo... How about I give you guys a list of signs to keep an eye out for and if you see five or more of them in the span of... Ten solar cycles, you come to talk to me immediately? No need to wait until 1800. How's that sound?"
"Like a good idea..."
"Alright. I'll make sure you guys get a message about it, then. That way, you'll have a fairly solid copy of it and you can put it on holopads with boxes next to it. OK?"
"OK..." She lets go of me and goes back over to the other kids, telling the older ones about it. I send them all a message with a list of signs that I'm not doing OK.
Spacing out in the middle of doing something, startling easily, struggling with words, not eating, not drinking, not talking to people, not being seen for more than three hours during a shift, working endlessly, not working at all, staring into the stars, tapping my fingers on things when I'm not listening to music, tapping my foot on things when I'm not listening to music, tapping anything in my hands against things when I'm not listening to music, tapping in general unless I'm listening to music, tapping my fingers against my palm, sped up breathing, and crying in front of people.
Indri comes back and sits by me, staring straight ahead. "I got that message too. You've had all of them the past couple of solar cycles. Are you feeling OK?"
"No."
"How come? Please tell me..."
"I have voices that say that I'm not good enough, I'm a terrible person, I deserve to be dead, I'm worthless, I can't protect anyone, I can't save anyone, and a lot of other bullshit... Lately, those have been overwhelming me... A lot. Instead of work through it healthily, I decided to try to die. It got the voices to quiet down for a while... But not long enough... They came back quickly..." He carefully leans against me and I wrap an arm around him. "I'm sorry, Indri." I squeeze him lightly and he doesn't respond.
He hates you now. Everyone hates you. They're all going to turn on you because you're weak. You'll always be weak. Everyone will always turn on you because of that. Just give up. You're only good at killing people and getting beaten. I close my eyes as I rest my head against the tree and lightly tap my fingers against my leg as I try to block out the voices.
"Rogue." I open my eyes and look at Indri, who had sat up to look at me. "You OK?"
"Not really... I... I have a lot of stuff to work through before I am... And it's gonna take a while..."
"We'll be here to help you through it then. Because we're family," He says simply and I smile slightly, gently touching his face before I rest my forehead against his. He lets me and smiles a bit. "We're always going to have your back, Sis... I promise."
"'Preciate it, Indri." I pull away and he smiles.
"Hugs are awkward. That? Not so much." He shrugs and I chuckle softly.
"Agreed." He stands and walks away. I take my arrow out of its holster and twirl it around my fingers, breathing slowly to try to get the voices to go away. They get softer and softer before they fall silent. I sigh softly and rest my head against the trunk of the tree, glad they're gone but knowing they'll be back soon enough. I rest my arm on my bent knee and hold my arrow in my hand, watching as the kids go back to skiing and snowboarding. Leta comes over and sits by me, looking up at me.
"Hey, Leta."
"Mama, mama," She coos and I smile a bit, pulling her into my lap. She giggles and I brush her hair out of her face gently while she smiles brightly at me. I run my fingers through her hair gently as I hum softly and she smiles, watching me as she sways slightly along with my humming.
"I need to get each of you guys a brush for your hair..." I gently tug my fingers through a knot in her hair and she whines. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. Shh," I say gently and she leans against me. "Awe, I'm sorry, baby girl." She rubs her eyes and I rub her back gently, looking down to see her falling asleep. "Oh, I see. You're tired. Take a little doze, then." Stark comes over and sits next to us, leaning against me to start to doze too. I chuckle softly and hold him close, gently scratching his scalp. "Glad to see I'm such a comfortable bed," I mutter and Maiko and Solstice come over, also laying on me to take a nap. "That was not an invitation to use me as a bed. I was being sarcastic."
Charlie and Kruthin lay on me too and fall asleep. I notice Yondu and Kraglin smirking and narrow my eyes at them. "This is your doing, isn't it?" They try to look innocent and fail miserably. "I hate you both."
"Mebbe don' name yer kids afta us." Kraglin shrugs and I give him an annoyed look. "Jus' sayin', kid."
"They gave off the same energy as you two idiots. And they act the same way you two do. So, I think I was justified in my decision." They roll their eyes and Loki comes over, sitting next to me to gently take some of the kids. "Thank you, Loki." He takes the three boys and I gently adjust the three girls.
"Have you never had a kid fall asleep on you before?"
"Yes. A kid. As in singular. Not plural because of family members wanting to get back at me for naming two of the kids after them." Tony chuckles softly and the other kids look over, smiling a bit.
"These guys get tired easily," Gamora explains after coming over.
"Clearly," I scoff with a soft smile and she smiles while I look at the time. "It's about time to go back to the cabin for the evening, or third shift, meal."
"Then they need to be woken up."
"I know that, Gamora. After they eat, they'll just have to go to sleep." She nods her agreement and Loki and I gently wake the kids up. "Hey, guys. Time to wake up. You can go back to sleep in a bit." They wake and rub their eyes, looking at us. Stark and Leta hold their arms out to Gamora and she smiles a bit, picking them up.
"I know. They're the worst. But, you need to get something to eat." She smooths their hair down and I watch a bit before I make sure the other four are gonna stay awake, standing.
"Hey! Rogue!" Indri yells and I look at him, getting a snowball to the chest. "Damn! I was aiming for your ugly mug!" He laughs and I scoff.
"You're so damned lucky I like these boots so I don't want them going off the side of a mountain!" He laughs more at that and I shake my head slightly, grinning a bit. "Fucking idiot."
"Fucking idiot!" Solstice repeats and I chuckle softly, ruffling her hair gently.
"Yeah, he is. Come on, kids. Food is needed." She giggles and messes her hair up more, making me chuckle again. Petey comes over to help gather the kids up and I take the opportunity to make a snowball.
"What are you doing?" Loki scoffs and I wave my hand at him.
"Hey! Indri!"
"Yeah?" He turns and I beam him in the face with the snowball, smirking slightly. "Fuck you!"
"Right back atcha!" I flip him off and he reciprocates it, making me smile a bit. I get a message on my wrist com and look at it, seeing that it was urgent. "Damnit..." I respond asking where they wanted to meet and they get back to me quickly. "Here?" I look at the kids and they were already heading back toward the cabin. I sigh softly and respond with coordinates to the lake.
"Is everything OK?" Indri asks and I look at him, smiling reassuringly at him.
"Course it is. Just had to respond to someone about a job after the holidays."
"OK." He catches up with the kids and I rub the back of my neck, worried about what the Hell they want.
"Captain, it will be alright," Loki assures softly and I nod slightly, taking a deep breath.
"Right... It'll be fine... Like always..." He nods and walks away to catch up with the kids when I motion for him to do so, wanting someone to stick with them.
"Wha's the matta, Kid?"
"Nothing."
"Yer a shitty liar. Wha's the matta?"
"Nova Prime."
"Wha' 'bout 'er?"
"She's coming here."
"Wha'?"
"Yeah... Gods..." I take a deep breath and gulp slightly when I look in the sky with my visor on, seeing a ship already. "Damnit... She's already here..." I deactivate my visor and rub my face slightly.
"Captain. Is everything alright?" Doc Strange asks and I look at him, Nebula standing next to him.
"I need you to open a portal to the lake for me. And make sure the kids get to the cabin. Neb, you're with me." They nod and he opens a portal to the lake for me and Nebula. We go through it and Nova Prime was just disembarking from her ship.
"Captain Rogue."
"Nova Prime, Ma'am." I notice the kids running over as I bow my head slightly with Nebula, ignoring the others who were trying to stop them, and they stop far enough away that they could see and hear clearly. "What can I do for you?"
"You have never answered for your charge of kidnapping."
"That's because she didn't do it! It was that guy!" Indri points to someone who was just getting off the ship and I look at him, vaguely recognizing him.
"Why would I kidnap my own son and daughter?" I see the oldest snob next to him and she smirks at me.
"She threatened to knock my teeth down my throat, Daddy! And grabbed me and tried to take me somewhere far away before the Nova Corps found her and stopped her!"
"You fucking lying bitch!" Gamora runs at her and I catch her, spinning slightly to keep her behind me while the seller hides his kids behind him.
"Whoa! Whoa! Calm down!" I hold her by her shoulders and look at her, seeing she looked super pissed off. "We all know she's lying. Not sure how you do, but we know. We just need to be able to prove that to Nova Prime."
"Captain." I turn and look at Nova Prime, keeping a hand on Gamora. I pale as I see Indri in a headlock with a Nova Corpsman and another one holding a blaster to his head. "He attacked this family. What are you going to do about this?"
"They fucking deserved it!" The one holding him tightens his hold and he chokes slightly.
"Hey! Loosen up! He's just a kid and doesn't have control of himself right now! Ma'am, I'm not saying it was right of him to attack them, but he's not in the right frame of mind right now. Please get him to let my brother go." She looks at me then at the one holding Indri.
"Let him go." He lets him go and Indri gets a few steps away, turning to keep his eyes on them. I grab him once he's close enough and shove him behind me.
"R-"
"Don't talk," I hiss and he shuts up while I look at them.
"Are these accusations that the girl makes true?"
"To an extent."
"Explain."
"I did threaten to knock her teeth down her throat and I did grab her to take her somewhere. The middle of Xandar so I could give all of the kids to the Nova Corps so that you could find their families."
"How did they wind up on your ship?"
"I still don't know about that, Ma'am."
"Why are you being so polite with her? She's accusing you of breaking The Code!"
"Shut it!" He shuts his mouth with an audible click at my glare and I look at Nova Prime again. "I'm sure that there's some way we can prove that I didn't do this."
"Do you have any way to do that?"
"Not at this moment... No..."
"Then I'm afraid I must place you under arrest." She raises a hand slightly and a Nova Corpsman points a blaster at me while another comes over to me with cuffs.
"Hey! No way is that happening! Our Mom would never do something like that!" The kids who can talk yell as they run over to get between us while Gamora and Indri move to get between us and I smile a bit.
"Set the blaster to stun. If they don't move, use it on them," The Nova Corpsman coming toward me says to the other and I see them doing that.
"That won't be necessary."
"Then get them out of the way."
"We aren't moving!"
"No way!"
"No how!"
"You ain't taking our Momma!"
"Yeah!"
"You're gonna have to get through us if you want to get to her!"
"Yeah!" They all stand their ground and I notice the others charging up their blasters, making sure they were set for stun.
"Just, give me a few minutes so I can talk to them. Please?" Nova Prime looks at me and nods after a moment. I move around the kids and look at them, going down on one knee to be more eye level with them.
"They can't just take you! You didn't do this!"
"I know, I know, Gamora."
"It isn't fair!"
"I'm not saying it is."
"We have to keep you with us!"
"You guys will be fine."
"But... They're going to ship you off... And we'll never get to see you again," Yondy whispers and I look to see him close to tears.
"Oh, Yondy... No, bud... I'll be able to prove that I didn't do this... Once I do that, I'll be back..."
"Promise?" I gently cup his face and rest my forehead against his.
"I give you my word. I'll be back before you know it."
"OK..." I pull away from him and repeat it with the others, holding Gamora close for a moment longer than the others.
"You guys will be fine while I'm gone. And I'm going to try my damnedest to get back to you guys quickly. I give you my word and my word is solid. Nebula's in charge until I can get back. Alright?"
"Alright... We'll listen to her and won't give anyone too much trouble..."
"Good, good."
"Captain, your time is up." I nod a bit and stand, noticing Loki coming over.
"Well, you can just wait a damned minute more, then," He says simply and stops in front of me, having to look up at me. "You are freakishly tall, you know that?" I smile a bit and he smiles back. "I thought that we should at least say see you soon."
"I agree. And to say something else to everyone." I lean down and simply kiss him.
"Captain," Nova Prime tries and I hold out a finger to tell her to hang on before pulling away a moment later.
"I'm pregnant," I whisper and his eyes go wide, looking at me. "I'll be back before I even start to show. Take care of the kids. Please."
"Of course, my treasure. Stay safe." I smile and kiss him shortly before I go over to Nova Prime.
"Captain Rogue Quill Obfonteri Udonta Fletch, you are hereby under arrest for the kidnapping of twenty children." I nod and look at the seller who was smirking. "Gentleman, get a cell prepared for the Captain." The Nova Corpsman board the ship and Nova Prime turns away slightly. "I would not be able to see if you hit him now, Captain," She whispers to me and I smirk slightly.
I go over to the guy and quickly deck him across the face, knocking him down and out before I go back over to Nova Prime before she turns to look at him. "Oh, dear! What happened?"
"She punched him!"
"Did anyone else see that happen?" She looks around and no one responds. "Oh. That is rather unfortunate. A Nova Corpsman will take the three of you home. Please board that ship there."
"How are we supposed to get our Dad on?" His son asks and she shrugs.
"Figure it out. Captain, follow me please."
"No cuffs?"
"Not in front of your children, no. And you are being cooperative so I do not see the need for them so long as that continues to be the case. Which, I am sure it will be. Yes?"
"Of course, Ma'am." I bow my head slightly and she nods, leading me onto the ship.