POV: Natasha Romanov
The cold metal operating table stings my bare skin.
My fingers grab for the thin, scratchy white sheet, the only thing left between the doctor’s metal instruments and my body.
I fight for breath as they wheel the squeaking metal bed through the double doors to the operating room.
Everything in me screams to fight, to run as they tighten the restraints around my wrists and ankles.
But I can’t.
This is just another part of the training.
The final step before graduation.
A ceremony, a joyous occasion.
I close my eyes and bite down hard against my lip as the scalpel scrapes a searing line against my abdomen—
My eyes snap open, my pupils dilating as they adjust to the dim light in the spare room at Clint’s house.
I gasp for air, filling my lungs as I try to regulate the flow of oxygen again as I look around the small room.
The yellow light from the bathroom pours out from under the crack in the door.
Carol’s still in there.
No one noticed.
Good.
I stand up, pacing the room uncomfortably as I listen to the fall of the water from the shower, my fingers running against the soft sleeve of the cream-colored robe that Laura let me borrow.
The water shuts off, sending my heart racing in my chest.
I know what I should do, but if I want to do it is another story.
I sit against the edge of the bed, trying to slow my breathing as I wait for her to come out of the bathroom.
The rusted knob twists as the door swings open.
Carol steps into the doorway, her skin still damp from the shower, her body wrapped in an off-white towel.
Her wet, blonde hair hangs limply at her cheeks, the ends of it falling gently against her collarbones.
I stand up as she turns to look at me, her eyes widening slightly as they trail down my neck to take in the robe, and then trailing back up to meet my gaze.
“I didn’t realize you were waiting.” She says with a slight smirk, taking a step into the room.
My arms cross in front of me, wrapping the robe more tightly around my body.
“I would’ve joined you but um—it didn’t seem like the right time.” I answer, my voice lower and less certain than I would’ve liked.
How do I explain the vision from the witch?
The memories flashing back and forth like movie screens behind my eyes?
Carol was able to withstand her powers, to get away without seeing anything.
But she’s not an idiot, she knows something happened.
Luckily, she doesn’t know what it was.
“They used up all the hot water.” She says, that smirk falling into more of a soft smile as she looks at me.
“I should’ve joined you.” I answer, trying to return the gesture, but feeling the way that the smile falls flat on my lips.
She laughs shortly through her nose.
“Missed our window.” She mutters, her eyes darting briefly to the floor and then back to my own.
My heart races again.
“Did we?” I ask, my voice even softer and more unsure than before.
Her eyebrows furrow into a question, and she takes another step towards me.
“Natasha?” She asks softly, her hands tucking the edge of her towel into itself to secure it. “What did she do to you?”
Her fingers brush her hair away from her face as she steps even closer, taking slow measured steps.
“Nothing they haven’t done before.” I murmur, looking down to avoid her warm brown eyes.
The hammering of my heart against my ribcage echoes in my ears, and I’m almost positive she can hear it too.
Her fingertips trace softly along my cheek, leaving a trail of heat behind.
“Tell me?” She asks, her voice dropping to the same level as mine.
I take a shaky breath, swallowing hard before forcing myself to look up at her again.
“I want to tell you first.” I whisper, finally looking into her wide eyes again. “If after I tell you, you decide that you want to leave, I won’t stop you.”
Her eyebrows furrow again as her lips purse into a tight line, but she nods once, opening her hand to cup my cheek lightly in her palm.
I lean into it slightly, feeling the warmth of her skin against mine.
“You mentioned once,” I begin, leaning away from her hand as I avert my eyes from hers, “that you wanted to settle down one day. Maybe have a life like this.”
I gesture to the room around us, decorated in children’s drawings and small plastic toys.
She just nods again, her fingers still trailing lightly against my cheek.
“Carol, I can’t give that to you.” I choke out, my voice hardly more than a whisper.
I force myself to look back at her, expecting her hand to drop from my face.
But she doesn’t move, her wide brown eyes remain locked on mine as her fingers trail along my jawline.
A slight tilt of her head urges me to continue.
“In the Red Room, where I was trained,” I say softly, “where I was raised, um—they have a graduation ceremony.”
My head drops again as my eyes train onto the floor, blinking rapidly as I swallow harshly.
“They sterilize you.” I tell her, looking up at her again briefly before looking past her head and out of the small window.
She still doesn’t move.
“It’s efficient.” I say with a shrug, my voice becoming thick with the threat of tears. “One less thing to worry about, the one thing that might matter more than a mission.”
My eyes drop again as my voice breaks on the last words.
Hot tears swell in my eyes, threatening to overflow.
I’ll hold them back until she leaves, until she’s back in space with the threat of never seeing us again.
Never seeing me again.
But she doesn’t yell, she doesn’t run.
Her fingertips pull gently at my chin, beckoning me to look back up at her.
I do, swallowing back the tears with everything I have left.
“Is that all?” She asks, her voice low and steady.
I nod, bracing myself for what was to come.
But no amount of premeditation could prepare me for this.
Before I have the chance to even process her response, her lips are pressed gently to mine.
One of her hands remains cupped around my chin as the other wraps around my waist, pulling me closer to her.
I gasp, and the parting of my lips only deepens the kiss as my fingers find their way into her damp hair.
After a minute, she pulls away.
Her hand remains around my waist, a teasing smile plays across her lips.
“Natasha Romanov.” She murmurs. “Did you really think that would be enough to scare me away?”
I feel the scarlet blush that stains my cheeks, and I can’t help but smile up at her softly.
“What happened to you was awful, and I’m sorry that it happened, and I’m sorry that the witch used it against you.” She says softly, her fingers brushing through my hair as she talks. “But that isn’t your fault.”
I crush her against me tightly, resting my head against her chest as I hug her.
Relief washes over every molecule of my body as all the tension and anxiety is released.
She laughs softly as her hand runs down my back.
“Look, not that I mind, but I am essentially naked, and I am freezing my ass off so—” She trails off, pulling back slightly.
“Right.” I answer, stepping back reluctantly. “Get dressed.”
She smiles slyly as she takes a step past me.
“Oh, that’s not at all what I had in mind.” She says as she raises her eyebrows, throwing back the comforter on the bed and sliding in.
My own eyebrows raise as I watch her pull the blankets back up as she pats the bed beside her.
I grin as I walk to the other side of the bed, climbing in next to her.
She opens her arms to me, and I rest my head against her shoulder as her arms wrap around me.
“You know Nat,” She murmurs into my hair as her fingertips trail soft designs down my arms. “We could always adopt.”
I don’t have to look up at her to hear the smile in her voice.
My heart skips again, but not out of terror or anxiety this time.
Gently, I press my lips against her collarbone.
“I love you, or whatever.” I mutter against her skin.
She laughs, tightening her grip on me.
“I love you or whatever, too.” She replies.