Chapter 1
Bucky took his time walking up to Wanda, studying the set of her shoulders as if this might spell the Sokovian’s thoughts. Nothing. But like everyone else at this lakehouse, they all had their own layers of grief, some clearer to see than others. Her demeanour remains calm and composed as he joins her side, a stark contrast to how Bucky felt. He glances over his shoulder for a moment, raking his eyes over the dissipating crowd in search of, well...her. He’d seen her earlier, looking at him from between the trees, her red and bleached braid curving gently around her neck while loose hairs fell around her ears. She’d lifted her head to him in a sort of greeting but she didn’t move closer. Of course she didn’t. She wasn’t really there.
Wanda doesn’t look up as he arrives. She seemed far too preoccupied with whatever was going on in her own head to notice his presence. He doesn’t take offence. Bucky had never really spoken to Wanda but she saved his life back in Berlin, and for that he was grateful.
Silence hung densely above them as they look out across the grassy bank and calm waters. He would have called it a beautiful day if not for the circumstances. Bucky took this time to gather his thoughts and form some kind of a sentence. He’d stayed up all night preparing for this conversation and yet, he didn’t know where to start.
“She’d be proud of you all,” Wanda says, breaking though the chaos that was swirling around in his head. Her words make him smile.
“They both would.”
Both. The word echos around his head for a moment. He understands her meaning. It wasn’t fair how much she’d been through. He guessed that made them similar.
Bucky looks back along the silent waters. “There’s umm...something I want to ask you,” he begins, shifting nervously from one foot to the next, his gaze fixing on the grass beneath his feet. “I don’t exactly know the capabilities of your powers but I know you can get into peoples heads, make them...see things...or make memories that weren’t really there...”
“What are you asking me to do Bucky?” Wanda interrupts, turning to face him for the first time. Bucky shuts his mouth and swallows, collecting himself before revealing the real reason he’d joined her.
“I want you to create a reality for me. A reality where I can be with Natasha.”
She looks at Bucky calmly, succeeding in hiding any reaction to his request. Waiting for a reply made him uncomfortable, as did her gaze, which is why he averts his eyes elsewhere, stuffing his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket. For the briefest moment Bucky contemplates leaving. It was a stupid idea anyway, crazy. There was no way she would agree to do something like that for him. But he had to keep trying.
“Natalia and I missed out on a life together,” he continues, trying his best to mask the desperation rising in his chest, “and I know you understand what that’s like.”
This time he took her silence as confirmation that she did.
A cool breeze pushes its way between them, rustling a pile of leaves nearby, the only response he’d seem to have gotten out of this conversation. It makes him regret even bringing this up.
Bucky considers what happens nexts. Wanda will walk away. More sleepless nights will follow until he is forced to give up and accept that he’ll only see Natasha in his dreams. He’ll become isolated from everyone. It won’t be the first time and he doubts it’ll be the last. Years under the hands of Hydra does that to a person.
“If I do this for you,” Wanda begins slowly, once again breaking his train of thought, “you know that coming back would be difficult-“
“I know,” he cuts her off, indicating that he’d already considered this, “but I won’t be coming back.”
She opens her mouth to protest but changes her mind when her eyes meet Bucky’s. They were dull and carried a heaviness that could only be the result of a restless night. He was suffering deeply, much like herself, which is why she had to help him.
“Okay.” She says finally.