Nightmares

POV: Tony Stark

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., reconfigure the processor on the third CPU.” I mutter, turning in my chair to watch as she starts the process.
“Yes Mr. Stark.” She answers.
The screen begins to blink rapidly as the reprogramming begins, and I lean back in the chair, taking a drink out of my coffee mug.
I check the clock, 3:07 am, not that it matters.
I just take another drink of the coffee.
“Mr. Stark?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asks.
I turn to face her main screen.
“Yo.” I answer. “What happened, something wrong with the program again?”
I really need to upgrade the older computers in the lab, but I’ve been too busy lately.
“No sir.” She answers. “There is a disturbance in the bedroom.”
Instantly, I set my mug down, leaning forward.
“Show me.” I tell her.
The screen switches to my security system, opening to my bedroom camera.
Stephen groans, turning in the sheets restlessly.
The sound is heart wrenching, causing me to instantly feel guilty for leaving him alone again.
But it’s just too hard for me to sleep anymore, obviously we’re dealing with things differently.
“Keep updating the computer.” I murmur to F.R.I.D.A.Y., downing the rest of the coffee from my mug as I stand up, rushing up the stairs.
I quietly open the door to our bedroom, slipping in silently and shutting it behind me.
He groans again, his face contorting into a grimace as he grips the sheets with a fist.
I sigh, more guilt filling me as I look at the pain on his face.
I cross the room, sliding into our bed beside him.
His forehead is covered in a fine gleam of sweat, his longer than usual hair sticking to the moisture as he tosses and turns.
I gently brush his hair back, trailing my fingertips along his face.
“Stephen.” I say softly, rubbing his back gently. “Stephen wake up.”
He twitches, not quite waking up.
“Please, wake up hun.” I say a little louder, lightly pressing my lips against his cheek.
His eyes snap open, his hands glowing with power as he snaps into battle mode.
He turns on me, opening a portal behind me as he raises his hands to attack.
“Stephen it’s me it’s Tony!” I stammer, stumbling back slightly as I raise my hands in a surrender.
His eyebrows furrow and his wild eyes widen as he processes what I just said.
The portal dissipates behind me as his hands drop.
“Tony.” He breathes, his hands hovering over me as though he might break me if he touches me.
His breathing is ragged as he looks over me, looks around the room.
“Tony you’re here, you’re okay.” He breathes.
I raise my hand, cupping his cheek softly as I look up at him.
“Right, I’m okay.” I tell him softly. “You okay?” I ask with a weak smile.
He doesn’t smile, deep lines of concern creasing his face as he uses his fingertip to trace under my eyes.
I frown up at him.
“Did you even go to sleep?” He asks, the concern on his face deepening.
I roll my eyes, reaching up to smooth out the lines on his face with my fingertips.
“I had to update my computers,” I say as I press at the lines on his forehead, “and Peter needed help with—something.”
I know it’s a lie, but he won’t like it if it was just computer stuff, he knows F.R.I.D.A.Y. can do that alone.
He glares at me, closing his eyes.
“Stephen no—you don’t need to—”
“Peter is asleep in bed and has been for hours.” He says, opening his eyes and glaring at me again.
“Damn astral projection.” I mutter to myself.
He sighs shifting in the bed to pull me across his chest.
I nuzzle against his soft t-shirt, breathing in the comforting scent of his sleepy body as I hug him.
“It’s not funny, Tony.” He says as he traces soft designs on my back with his fingers. “When’s the last time you slept?”
I don’t answer, knowing it’ll just end in another lecture.
Stephen sighs again, squeezing me lightly.
“Tony, you almost died.” He whispers into my hair. “It’s normal to feel anxious or confused or—I don’t know. However you feel is okay.”
My heart speeds.
How does he not get it?
How does he not see how out of control everything is after what happened?
Watching Stephen and Peter turn to dust before my eyes, with absolutely nothing I could do about it, absolutely no way to stop it.
Years of searching, years of waiting for them to come back.
How can he not understand that I can’t just waste time sleeping, not knowing if they’ll both be here when I wake up?
I squeeze my eyes shut, holding his body tightly against mine.
“Almost died.” I say, working to make my voice sound as snarky and confident as ever. “You were the one who… you know. Disappeared. Died 14,000,605 times.”
He kisses my hair softly.
“14,000,604 times.” He mutters.
He laughs dryly.
“Not funny.” I mutter back.
He pulls me up, sliding back into a sitting position as he sits me on his lap.
I look down, crossing my arms in defiance as I straddle him, refusing to crack.
“Tony.” He says, tapping his finger against my chin.
I don’t look up.
“Tony look at me.” He says softly, tapping his finger against my chin again.
I roll my eyes dramatically, looking up at him.
He smiles softly, and I almost smile back before I bite the insides of my cheeks to keep a straight face.
“We’ve both been through… a lot.” He says, his fingers tracing my cheekbones lightly as he talks. “And we have to stop pretending we haven’t. We should stop pretending we’re okay when… maybe we aren’t entirely okay. Both of us.”
I study his face for a moment, just feeling how thankful I am to be able to see him again, to touch him again.
I think about Peter, sleeping upstairs in his bed, probably wrapped in his stupid Iron Man blanket he bought when he came back.
The thought makes me smile though.
“You’re right.” I say finally, leaning forward to rest my head against Stephen’s chest. “But it’s only for you and Peter that I’m doing all this… feelings bullshit.”
He chuckles softly as he wraps his arms around me tightly.
“Oh trust me, I know.” He says, taking a deep breath. “You never were one for the feelings bullshit.”
This time, I laugh, pressing my lips to the small indentation between his collarbones.
“You do know that I love you, right Stephen?” I say softly, my lips brushing against his smooth skin as I talk.
He shudders slightly as my breath dances along his skin.
“Of course I do Tony.” He says, kissing my hair. “You know that I love you, yes?”
I lean back, stretching up to kiss his soft lips.
“Yes doctor.” I murmur.
He kisses me back with a smile, but it soon breaks into a yawn.
His yawn spreads to me, causing me to yawn back.
“Will you stay with me?” He asks softly, pulling me down onto his chest as he lays down.
I snuggle into his chest, sliding my hand under his shirt to rest on his bare skin like I always do when we sleep.
“You really think I could leave now?” I ask as he pulls the blanket up around us.
He laughs again as he wraps his arms around me.
“Goodnight Tony.” He whispers, his breath warm against my hair.
I trace my fingertips along the smooth planes of his chest as my eyelids grow heavier with every blink.
“Goodnight Stephen.” I whisper back, giving into the comfort he brings me as I let my eyes close.