Look… I Would Really Prefer Not to be Expelled From Summer Camp.
“Who in the world is bothering me during my-” the screen door to the Big House swung open and Mr. D walked out, dressed in purple plaid pj pants and no shirt.
“Chiron told me to bring him up here,” James nodded toward Sirius, who put his hand up in an awkward wave.
“What did Shilo Brass manage to do already?” Mr. D grumbled while he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“It’s Sirius Black, sir…” Sirius rolled his eyes back, people always tended to assume he was the one causing trouble right off the bat. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been given the benefit of the doubt.
“Yeah yeah, whatever, Potter tell me what he did already would ya,” he motioned for the pair of boys to come inside.
“He got claimed sir,” James said quietly.
“And?” The god stopped in the middle of the hallway.
“Well, he sorta-”
Sirius but his best friend off and took matters into his own hands, he wanted to know why this was such a big deal, and dancing around the subject wasn’t getting him any kind of answers, “I was claimed by Poseidon is what I think James is trying to say.”
This earned a minute of silence which settled in the house and down into Sirius’ bones.
“Well, why didn’t you lead with that!?” Mr. D threw his hands up and grumbled a string of curses under his breath.
“You said there was a good chance that stupid prophecy wasn’t even true!” James exclaimed, throwing his hands up in protest.
“You still listen to what I say?” Mr. D laughed, “That’s your first mistake, Sunny.”
“Yeah yeah whatever, what now?”
“Well I’d say we show him the door-”
“What!?” Sirius froze, “No no you do not get to just kick me out because of some stupid ocean dude who decided to screw my monstrosity of a mother! No no that is not fair.”
James stared at him for a moment, brown eyes wide and shocked at Sirius’ outburst - Sirius himself couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gotten angry at James, not that he was angry right then but he was coming off as more ticked off than scared - which is how he really felt.
Then James started laughing, the beautiful bright laugh that couldn’t help but make Sirius smile too, he didn’t know what sparked the laughter but he was grateful for it… laughing James was much preferred to startled James.
“Sirius no!” James pulled Sirius into his arms, and it took him a minute not to feel like a 2x4 hunk of wood being held in James’ tight embrace. “You’re not going anywhere- well you might be but not because we’re kicking you out!”
“I’m not being like expelled from Summercamp? Because I would really prefer not to be expelled from summer camp, that’s a new low even for me,” Sirius rambled, his mouth tended to run a million miles per hour when he got scared or nervous, and James knew that.
“No no no Sirius listen,” James put a hand on his shoulder, and Sirius forced his lips to press together to stop talking. “There’s this prophecy, about a child of the big three gods coming to camp.”
“Oh-” Sirius nodded sharply.
“We didn’t think it was real at first, I mean there hasn’t been a big three kid since…” James paused, “That’s not important, but the point is there hasn’t been a big three kid in a very long time and I mean I had a hunch but I didn’t think you were actually Poesidian’s kid y’know?”
“Get to the point Sunny-boy,” Mr. D yawned.
“Right yes, the door to the attic, that’s where you need to go, that’s the door D was talking about. You’ll get your quest up there,” James pointed to some creepy-ass door covered in cobwebs.
“Alright then?” Sirius side-eyes James, who just smiled and nodded.
Sirius took a few cautious steps toward the door before Mr. D walked over and shoved him forward.
“Hurry up Stanley Block, I don’t have all night.”
“It’s Sirius Black,” Sirius groaned, reaching out and opening the door, it creaked like something from a horror film, and honestly Sirius was convinced he might be murdered if he went up those stairs.
“Good luck Siri!” James called after him as he started up the dusty wooden stairs.
“Yeah I think I’ll need it,” Sirius muttered to himself.
The staircase was long and narrow, it looked as if it hadn’t been entered in like a thousand years… When Sirius finally reached the main room he found a bunch of furniture covered with cloth tarps and a clouded window at the front of the room.
“Uh… Hello?” Sirius felt stupid talking to himself. “I’m supposed to get some quest thing up here?” Sirius turned around looking for any sign of life. “I guess no one’s here…” he turned to leave when a sudden movement caught his eye.
Of. Fucking. Course.
Sirius groaned and turned around to see a slim and bony figure sitting on a stool by the dusty window.
“Uh hi I’m Sirius Black, my friend James and this god dude sent me up here to have my future read or something?”
Sirius almost screamed at what happened next. The bony figure turned its head toward Sirius and a pair of glowing blue eyes stared right at him. That was the kind of thing he’d really been hoping WOULDN’T happen.
“Approach child, I am the spirit of Delphi, come and face your destiny…”
“I’ve got a destiny?” Sirius scoffed, it seemed the only thing he was destined for was failing, and losing the people he loved apparently.
“You shall go West and face the god who has turned…
I guess I’ve always wanted to see California?
You shall find what was stolen and see it safely returned…
Great! That’s great thank you weird glowing Spirit!
You shall be betrayed by one who calls you friend…
I’m sorry this wasn’t part of the deal! I already don’t have a lot of friends-
And you shall fail to save what matters most in the end.”
Well, shit.
And as quickly as the thing’s eyes started glowing they stopped, which was majorly frustrating for Sirius who was so preoccupied by the fact that he was going to fail - yet again - that he forgot he was probably supposed to tell Mr. D and James what he’d heard.
“Thanks for reminding me I’m a failure!” he raised two fingers at the figure before descending the stairs, almost walking straight past James and Mr. D who were talking in the corner of the living room.
“So?” James jumped when he saw Sirius.
“Well, I’m gonna fail… again, so that’s just great.”
“That's all it said?” James scrunched his brows together.
“Just sit down and tell us what exactly your destiny is,” Mr. D motioned to the table, he’d put on a shirt since Sirius had seen him last. A magenta t-shirt with one of those cringy mom-sayings on it, ‘It’s Wine O-Clock’.
“Sunny write it down would ya?” He slid a Christmas napkin toward James and a red pen.
James caught the materials and clicked the pen so he could write down whatever Sirius was about to tell him, which even Sirius didn’t know right then.
“Well,” Sirius started, “I’m supposed to go West, then save something - but apparently not the most important thing. Then I’m gonna get betrayed by someone.”
James blinked slowly, the tip of his pen barely touching the napkin.
“Wonderful!” Mr. D threw his hands up and grinned. “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to go to war this summer. Though maybe if I took ol’dad’s side he’d let me have a drink…”
Sirius’ heart sped up, “wait wait wait, back up. War?”
James looked guilty, and Sirius swore he felt his heart crack a bit. James didn’t lie to him… right? James told him everything, and they did everything together. Right? I mean sure he’d been leading this crazy double life like James Bond or something but the time they’d had before any of this had been real. Right?
Sirius shook the questions out of his head and grounded his mind back at the two people in front of him.
“We didn’t want to tell you until we knew you were his kid… I mean if you’d been a Hermes kid, or maybe even Apollo like me it wouldn’t have mattered anyway,” James rambled, “but the thing is… now that you are Poseidon's son? Well, that’s the catch…”
“Oh get on with it already,” Mr. D rolled his eyes. And Sirius sent him a glare, which in hindsight was probably not the best look to stare a God down with but hey- Sirius didn’t have the best track record of making good decisions.
“Right so basically Zeus- y’know the king of Gods and all… Well, he’s blaming your dad for stealing something from him, and if he doesn’t get it back before,” James paused and looked to Mr. D.
“In ten days,” Mr. D finished.
“Yes okay so if he doesn’t get this thing back in ten days then he’s waging war on your dad.”
Sirius’ eyes widened. “Well did Poseidon take it?”
James grimaced, “Well not exactly…”
“Technically you took it,” Mr. D shrugged, opening a diet Coke.
“I didn’t!” Sirius lept out of his seat. “I didn’t take anything! I swear on whoever I’m supposed to swear on!”
“Hey, hey calm down,” James stood and set a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “We believe you and all you’ve gotta do is prove you didn’t take it…”
“Well, how the fuck am I supposed to do that?!” Sirius threw his hands up.
“Prove who really took it,” James explained gently. “Mr. D is pretty sure he knows who it was, but we just need someone to prove it, and it looks like that person is you.”
“Enlighten me then,” Sirius glared between James - whom he was struggling to stay mad at - and Mr.D - whom he was most certainly not struggling to be angry with. “Who stole from Zeus?”
“Hades of course,” The God shrugged, taking another slug from his soda. “My Uncle has been angry with his brother forever… Oh, and he also really hates you.”
“Why me?” Sirius groaned, why was it always him? Had he somehow offended every being on Earth AND the cosmos when he was born?
James shrugged, “But all we know is you have to get Zeus’ bolt back or the world has a pretty good chance of being destroyed.”
“Wait you’re counting on me to save the flipping world?!” Sirius shrieked, “James I can’t even exist successfully most of the time! How do you trust me?! Have you lost your mind?”
“Sirius slow down you won’t be alone,” James grabbed his biceps and shook gently. “Quests are for three people.”
“Oh…” Sirius took a breath, slowly talking in the absurd amount of information he’d just gotten thrown at him. He was a demigod, he had ten days to face off with the King of the Underworld, or else the world would be destroyed by the Gods being cranky… “Can I say no?”
“Nope,” Mr.D chimed in.
“Sirius,” James said quietly, Sirius turned to face him and let the last of his anger drip off his fingertips. “We have to go to the underworld to face Hades.”
“Huh?” Sirius scrunched his eyes and then forgot how to breathe. “Regulus…”
REGULUS
regulus
R
E
G
U
L
U
S
r e g u l u s
Reggie
REG.
“I’ll do it.”