“I should’ve known,”
The expensive car pulls up to the curb; not even close to being correctly parked. Tony, making his way outside his car, smiles so wide, he beams with happiness. He was on his way to a restaurant that was recommended by his boyfriend, Steve. He received a text from Steve earlier telling him to meet him there, and now there he was, not a second late. He had no interest in the parking enforcement officer that was standing at the corner of the street, eyes widening at the sight of Tony’s horribly parked car. Not even the small whim that came out of his arc reactor slowed Tony down.
It was Captain America asking him out. Not anyone else. They’ve been in a stable relationship for almost two years, something that didn’t seem so “long-term”. Yet, it was for Tony Stark. Being together for two years was the longest he’s ever lasted, not including the relationship with Pepper. All of the others, all of the breakups and misunderstandings, did not matter anymore. He was head-over-heals in love, and it was a bit concerning. Tony believes he’s found the one. The person that would never land a finger on him, the person that would never try to hurt him, purposely. Tony loves him, so much so that he would kill to relive the first few moments of their relationship.
“I’d leave alone,”
Tony walks to the restaurant, unsuccessfully hiding his grin. He’s smiling so wide, people are starting to think he’s insane. There’s something in his gut, a painful feeling. It’s like two tons of weights pushing him down. He can’t think straight. Glee filled his body with warmth and excitement. He checked the window of the restaurant, his smile turning into a straight line. He was confused because Steve wasn’t there waiting for him. Instead, he was sitting with a girl. Beautiful, may he say, long, black hair covering her bare back. Her side profile looked heavenly, like a princess. Tony hopes she was just asking for a selfie. Besides, Steve was a popular person, outside, in a luxurious restaurant.
“Just goes to show that the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe,”
Tony ran to his car, bloodshot eyes darting down the steering wheel. It didn’t make sense, how did he not get caught? He was a celebrity, a person that couldn’t go without an army of paps following him. Tony should’ve seen this all over the gossip news. So then, how did they do it?
He hated himself for believing Steve was someone that was going to stick with him till the end. Steve wouldn’t survive with Tony for years. He was stupid for believing it.
“We were a pair, but I saw you there,”
The picture of the scene flickered through his mind. It kept haunting him, taunting him until he could bare it no longer. It made him wonder why, why did it hurt as much as it did. Maybe it was seeing Steve sitting there, a hand on the pretty female’s cheek. Or, was it the fact that every time they moved, it seemed like they were in sync? They were… in love with each other. How long was this going on? How did I not know? Did anyone on the team know?
Tony didn’t want to believe it.
He knew how it was to love Steve Rogers. How his body reacted when he was close to him. The eyes, blue with hints of curiosity, stared right at Tony. The feeling of his rough hands touching his face. But, when he saw Steve lean into the woman, his heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t watch, he didn’t want to, but his body froze. Steve teased her, playing with her hair and slowly leaning in, becoming unbearable for Tony to watch. He placed his lips against hers after she said something to him, and immediately made Tony want to puke.
Steve looked too happy, something that Tony hasn’t seen in so long. That smile reminded him of the beginning when… they were in love.
Steve and the woman laughed. He slid his hand down from the woman’s neck to her shoulders retrieving giggles. Tony scoffed as he noticed something that he recognized. Steve would do the exact same thing to Tony. Steve forgot Tony existed at that moment. It was like they never shared a bed, or never shared something special. Steve didn’t keep in mind that he might be losing everything. His family, his friends, everything. Of course not. Tony was so conflicted at that moment, he ran away without confronting Steve about anything. It was just him, with his tears that reflected the moonlight.
“Too much to bear, you were my life but life is far away from fair,”
Tony’s mind was playing mind games on him. He couldn’t see anything. It was rage, fear, and sadness, all at once controlling him. He could feel the grip on the steering wheel tightened, his fingers turning white. It was dark out and he was on the brink of insanity. He was alone, so goddamn alone. He hated being alone. Having to process emotions all by himself; having no one to comfort him. He felt his heart tighten in his chest. His breathing began to shift, it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He hated his life. His mind was flickering the memories that he once shared with the man that sat with the woman. Where he and Steve shared kisses in the kitchen. Or when Tony would be sick and Steve would help him feel better. Tony knows there was nothing more rewarding than seeing Steve Rogers in the crowd after winning an award because he knew that being with Steve was more rewarding. There was nothing better than waking up next to him. The sun would shine brightly, and Steve would be there, staring at Tony with love in his eyes. Every slight bicker ended with cuddling. Every laugh ended with a small kiss.
He won’t be feeling that love anymore. Steve wouldn’t be waking up with him. He wouldn’t be able to make the others disgusted or jealous. Tony wouldn’t be able to share loving moments with Steve and his baby boy Peter. Because he had integrity. He wasn’t going to stay with the man who cheated on him.
Although, after everything, he did not remember the fights they had. Tony took his phone out of his pocket, crying and putting tears on the screen. His mind wanted to call Steve, but when he tried, the call didn’t go through. His phone was off, and there was no way to talk to him. Tony’s body went numb, his breath failing to carry oxygen to his brain.
“Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everyone else?”
He wasn’t stupid; he wasn’t an idiot for falling in love that has a reputation to respect others. Everyone seemed so happy for them, but did they believe it would last? Tony would always be drunk out of his mind, locked down in his lab. Steve would be too stubborn to make peace with Tony, so he wouldn’t return home. He would blame Tony for ruining missions, being too egoistic, being too sarcastic, and not listening to directions. He would blame Tony for everything, yet Tony never noticed. It was at the point where people began to believe that they broke up, and even the press began to spread those rumors. There were times when he needed Steve’s best friend, Bucky Barnes, to save him from an anxiety attack. He knew how to calm him thankfully, but that wasn’t the point. It should’ve been Steve, yet he wasn’t there. That was the first time he felt so worthless, all because of Steve. Of course, it wasn’t the end.
Tony sniffled as he drove down the road.
“That I’d fallen for a lie,”
He arrived at the compound, walking straight into the bedroom that he shared with his boyfriend. His ex-boyfriend. It’s ample, the desk that was at the corner of the room was filled with papers scattered with drawing on them. Steve was an artist, he loved drawing and painting stuff on the sketchbooks that Tony brought. The pens, papers, colored pencils, everything was his. He loved to fuel Steve’s love for art because he was told that he used it as a form of escaping. Steve would sit at the desk for hours after a meeting or mission, sketching out whatever he felt like doing. Tony was always proud to see Steve there, sitting peacefully as Tony drank his third coffee of the day, only the soft hum of his arc reactor filling in the comfortable silence.
Tony felt himself fall at the sight of the drawings. He’s never wanted to intrude on Steve’s art space. It was his, and even if Tony was a seeker for gossip, there was never a reason to touch this side of the room. But, when he opened his sketchbook, all he wanted to do was hold it in his arms and cry. Drawings of him were sketched every two pages, each one containing a different pose. Some were with Peter, the small toddler running around or holding on to a lego piece in order to place it on the Lego Death Star.
Tony couldn’t bare looking at it any longer, he closed the sketchbook ever so slightly, his hands trembling at the sight. The room looked bare, just how Steve would like it. That was one of the things that they argued about. Tony liked to keep his place unorganized, slightly because it helped him locate the items he needed. But, he also liked it because it helped him retain memories. For example, clothes on the floor might bring back memories of last night's date. Or, the pictures on the wall show something good that happened during the years Tony has been inside this room. After everything, all Tony wanted was to hang on to something, anything that allowed him to feel some sort of happiness. But, it didn’t come. The room had no pictures, the floor had no clothes, and the color of the room was this pitiful gray, that showed no emotion.
In defeat, Tony went inside the walk-in closet, holding in his tears. Steve did not deserve those tears. He did not deserve anything. Touching the soft material of his clothing, he froze. A small, silver ring was hidden in the depth of the suit pocket. That idiot took his ring off, the ring Tony gifted him for his birthday, as a promise to never lie to each other. Rage taking over him, he took the ring out of his pocket and began to grab all of Steve’s belongings. He didn’t care if the material began to rip or stretch at the strength of Tony’s grasp. He did not care that all he wanted to do was cover himself in a fluffy blanket and cry till’ morning. He tore down the only thing he thought could hurt him less. All of the clothes that he bought Steve with his money. All of the idiot khaki pants that he insisted to wear. Everything was ripped, and thrown into a suitcase like a pile of trash. The smoothness of the clothes made it harder for Tony to throw them away, but even then, it did not phase him. He ruined the clothing and closed the suitcase. Tony went back into the room, grabbing all of the pictures on his nightstand. That was the only place where he could keep some pictures, irrelevant ones like winning an award or newspapers of his accomplishments. But there was one that Tony cherished. It was his son, himself, and Steve, at the park enjoying a picnic.
Anger returned to his features, the glistening of his tears returning as well. He shattered the picture frame, letting the sound of the glass breaking fill the room. Why, why was this happening? He asked himself, before throwing all of the other frames on the floor. It was until Tony’s hands became bloody that he stopped. He slowly slid down to the floor, using the wall as a support. He looked at his hands and the pictures that he tore. He cried, hysterically, as his breathing got worse. Tony ruined everything that reminded him of Steve. All of the good memories didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. And that was the scariest thing that Tony would face.
“You were never on my side. Fool me once, fool me twice. Are you death or paradise?”
Tony tried to process everything, but in each passing moment of his solitude, there was no way he could hold it in. All the emotions rush out of him, like a train knowing no destination. He allowed himself to let it out, considering that it was one of the most effective ways to forget and move on. As much as it hurt, he cried, loudly. But, he did it because he felt like he should. He didn’t do it to move on, that was his mistake. As much as it was helping, the one thing it was not doing was allowing him to move on. But, after ten minutes, he noticed something that might’ve changed the way the rest of the night would go. Something like this could change the outcome of everything.
“Now you’ll never see me cry. There’s just no time to die,”
When James received Friday’s call, he was in the garden, a book in one hand and a small pen in the other. Bushes of flowers surrounded him, filling the air with different types of smells. It smelled, fresh. There was a moment when he would come at night when no one tried to visit and sit at the bench that Tony bought. This is the only place he could go without people interrupting him. It felt liberating there, sitting while writing stuff on what he needed to improve. Self-help books were his best friend, even if he never read them. All he did was look at the books, smile because he is trying to make an effort, and continue his day. There was a part of him that never believed that he could become better, because of the pain that was holding him back, but he couldn’t help hope because of Tony.
Tony has helped James through a lot, but the biggest one was moving on from Howard’s death. His death emotionally damaged James. He looked up to Howard, when he was normal, completely admiring him. Now, after everything and having a meaningful talk with Tony, they’ve worked on getting therapy together and moving on from the past. And, although everything hasn’t been smooth, there is a joy that comes out of James when he can say that he and Tony are friends.
Some of the truth is that James never could’ve gone near Tony if it weren’t for Steve. Steve persuaded him and told him all of the benefits that could happen if Tony let James explain. After minutes of bickering and James standing in the corner like a reprimanded child, he agreed.
Steve was considered by everyone to be his best friend, but James didn’t like Steve. He hated the way he acted when he was around Tony. He was handed everything on a silver platter because of Tony, but he didn’t have the decency to say thank you. All of his stubbornness was let out on Stark, and Tony took it without any complaint. He wouldn’t bicker as he did with Natasha or Clint. He would just take it.
James took his pen and started to scribble. “All he did was hide. Steve would destroy the ounce of mental health that he had, and Tony would just… let him.” James thought as he scribbled nonsense on the piece of paper. There was nothing James could do but stare. If there was something he could do, he would’ve done it already. Yet, all he would do is just watch Tony break apart every single time they would get into an argument. It wasn’t like it was for a moment, it lasted months. Their fights would last, Tony would starve himself in his lab, and Peter would just have to be taken care of by the rest of the Avengers.
Now, there’s a moment where James is so lost in his thoughts, anger taken out on the piece of paper, that he misses Friday’s first contact for help. James’ expression quickly turned sour when he noticed after the second alarm, ten minutes apart, that was much louder than the first. F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s alarm shared the location of Tony, and it said that he was already in the compound. James ran inside the compound and noticed that he was far away from the room Tony was in. “What happened? Shit. What the fuck? Why would he need me?” He thought as he ran. It was a long run from the garden to his room, so all he could do was worry more than he needed to. Running and bumping into staff, he finally reached the room Tony was in. His room. He’s never been inside Tony’s room, there was just no reason to be inside. Tony either visited his room or James would meet him by his lab. But, James ran inside the room, a concerned look on his face. He’s seen Tony vulnerable before, but this was not comparable. The room was filled with broken glass and clothes scattered around. A suitcase filled with unfolded clothes sat in front of him. He wondered if Tony was having another attack, so he slowly approached him. He’s never seen Tony’s face filled with so much emotion, so raw and vulnerable. There was some part of him that wanted to hug him and kiss his pain away, yet, he did not dare to approach him in any way that might make him feel uncomfortable. Instead, he slid down to the floor and waited for Tony to speak to him.
Tony’s hands were bloody and it was spreading the blood on his expensive shirt. “Why… why are you here?”
James didn’t look at him, just continued to look at the ceiling, “Are you going to tell me what happened?”
“There’s nothing happening.”
“Are you sure?” James says, now looking at Tony.
Tony wiped his tears away, but he was unsuccessful in doing so. Instead, he plastered the blood that was on his hands onto his face, “He… Fuck you,” He let out a scoff, “Fuck you, you don’t deserve to know shit. You’re his best fucking friend.”
James sighed, reaching his hand towards Tony’s face. The metal felt cool against Tony’s jaw. He practically groaned as James moved his hand to clean Tony’s cheek. The coldness of James' hand and the warmth of his raw cheek felt good. “I would do nothing to hurt you.”
“Shut up, James,” Tony cried softly, a soft smile appearing on his red face.
“Tell me what’s going on? Tony,” He moves his hand, “Friday sent me an alert. Something happened on the highway?”
“Yeah,” He sighed, “I fainted while riding home… something happened to me. Probably was those stupid panic attacks. I’m fine, really.”
“You’re not…”
“I’m fucking fine!” Tony yells, his patience slowly leaving his acts, “I’m fucking alright… Can’t a guy just cry? Just leave me the fuck alone.”
“Breathe Tony,” James says slowly, sensing Tony’s breath hitch up. “I know you’re…”
“You don’t know shit! You don’t know anything about me,” he goes on to say, lowering his voice until it sounded menacing, “You don’t know anything. You have no idea…”
“So then fucking explain! All I’ve been trying to do was to understand. How am I supposed to do that if you don’t tell me what’s wrong?!”
“Fuck!” Tony’s breathing was heavy like he was running a marathon. His eyes were wide, filled with rage and sadness. “Steve… he’s cheating on me.”
James relied on nothing to cover his shock. Steve fucking Rogers cheated on Tony Stark. The man that James believed was perfect. Was Tony perfect? No, he was not. With what he’s heard in the therapy lessons, Tony has been through hell with this “superhero” shit. All James wanted to do was shout at Tony, and tell him that he was the perfect fit for him. That he was going to treat him right. He wanted to let go of all of those selfish desires and create the perfect summary as to why Tony needed him. But, instead of putting his selfishness on Tony, all he did was pull Tony into a hug, smelling the strong scent of cologne. The cologne he put on for Steve. Such a waste. Tony cried in response, the overwhelmingness of his feelings getting the best of him. He hugged Tony with force, bracing him, letting him know that he was there with him. He was letting him know that he was not alone.
“You… you probably knew.” Tony cringes at how pathetic he sounds. The whim of the arc reactor was filling the awkward silence between them. James took a long time to respond, mostly because he was starstruck by the amount of bullshit that statement had. If only Tony knew how much he loved…liked him. Tony, on the other hand, felt so small, and he fucking hated it. “Of course, you knew, he’s your best friend.”
As much as Tony wanted to, he did not let go of James. The metal hand caressed his hips and the warmth of his other hand gripped the back of his neck. He could feel James’ heartbeat, strong and persistent. His grasp was making him feel safe, and he did not want to let that go. Not now, not ever.
“I would never hide something like that from you.”
Again, caught off guard, he spoke in a jumbled thought. “Of course not. There are some things that I joke about; this ain’t one of them. Steve is stupid if he thinks doing this to you is okay. You don’t deserve any of it… Tony, you deserve so much better.”
“I can’t stop thinking about what I could’ve done. There’s so much going through my head, it’s exhausting. All I want… is to stop thinking about it. I can’t stand it anymore.”
“When did you find out? Today?” Tony nodded, “You aren’t going to stop thinking about it. Trust me. It’s going to take some time.” He thought back to the time when he tried to break that little crush that he had with Tony. He ignored him all the time, even while in combat. It was to the point where Tony had to stalk James in order to catch him off guard. He met him outside the shower room, hands folded across his fancy suit, and a heavy frown on his face. The disappointment was more depressing each time Tony stepped closer to him. All he could remember was that a towel was hanging more on the lower side, revealing the perfect V-line he owned. Tony, not focusing on the unfortunate timing of his decision to invade James’ personal space, went on a tangent on why James should talk to him again. He went back and forth across the shower room, trying to make his point. From that day forward, James did not leave Tony’s sight. God, it just made James more emotionally attached.
“I’ve always been good at forgetting stuff. Look at the breakup that I had with Pepper… we lasted four years,” Tony answered back, breaking James’ thought process.
“That’s different. You had closure. You broke up with her and she was completely fine with it. It was for the best. Pepper has always been there for you. The thing with Steve is that you are afraid that you will never be able to see him as perfect anymore. The person you knew before isn’t the person you will know now.”
“I’m afraid, James. It isn’t something that I can move on from and it’s scaring me.”
“Well, look at the bright side, at least you aren’t alone,” James said, putting on a sad smile and placing his hands on Tony’s cheek. Tony smiled too, tears failing to fall down his cheek. Although it was sad, he felt calm, because every time tears fell, he knew that James would be there to clean it up.
“I let it burn. You are no longer my concern,”
Tony kicked out Steve soon after, leaving Steve confused. He questioned James, asking himself why Bucky was mad at him as well.
Tony felt as if he lifted a burden off his shoulders. Yet, something was bothering him. Tony still couldn’t get his mind wrapped around the fact that Steve didn’t get caught by the paparazzi. Their whole relationship was being monitored by them. Still, there was nobody. Did he pay them off? Was it all a trick? Did he want to get caught? Nothing made sense anymore.
Nothing really made sense in his life anymore. Tony would always be confused. After the talk with James, he felt such peace with him. Not that he never felt peace with him before, but there was something there that was different. A different feeling? Tony couldn’t lay a finger on it. After staying there with James, he felt more comfortable than ever before. His smile, laugh, and small gestures, made the blood and darkness in his mind slowly ease out. He didn’t want the feeling since he knew he was going to get attached. Although the idea scared him, there was something there, he knew it.
“Faces from my past return, Another lesson is yet to learn,”
Steve looked at his knuckles with disgust. His hands were filled with plaster creating slashes of blood. He punched the wall again right after, letting out a yell of frustration. Steve felt like his whole body was on fire. Seeing the photos of Tony and Bucky, assisting each other during the mission made his blood boil. He was supposed to be Bucky. He was supposed to make Tony laugh and be there for him. Steve was supposed to take care of Peter, all like he’s been doing before. But instead, he was stuck looking at all of the pictures that the press caught of them.
They looked happy together. “It was annoying.” He thought, ripping apart the picture where Tony, Bucky, and Peter were caught eating ice cream together. He ripped every single picture in fact.
It was like nothing happened in the two years that Steve and Tony dated. "I didn’t deserve that, after everything I did for that man and this team. I should be the one there. They couldn’t have done it without me.”
Tony never looked at him in the halls. Steve was supposed to be at the top of the world with Tony by his side. He was the one destined to win; he always won. He won as Captain America, he will win as Steve Rogers. “Was it that Tony forgot about us, about our family?” The question, that kept swarming in his brain kept him up at night. Bucky was brainwashing him. That was it. “Why would Tony tolerate someone that would fight and kill his father? They can’t be a couple. Bucky, could it be that Bucky is blackmailing him?” There was no way that Tony forgot him.
Tony didn’t know how much it hurt. Steve didn’t understand what he did wrong. There was nothing Steve could’ve done to piss off Tony so badly. Tony didn’t give him a reason and it angered him. What was it that he did?
“That I’d fallen for a lie, You were never on my side,”
James signaled him forward, smiling as the helmet went up. “I thought I lost you.”
“Jerk, I was in space for a minute. Instead of being worried, tell me how I did a great job saving this planet.”
“Of course you did, doll. You did amazing up there.”
Tony was going to say something back, but he quickly hesitated. He saw something… or someone. James looked to the back, seeing exactly who Tony was looking at.
There he was, Steve Rogers. Standing there, all big and tough looking.
“Hey, darling, head back to the Quin-jet, please. I’ll be there in a second.”
Tony nodded his head slowly and made his way back into the jet. A sudden wave of anger stuck to him, as he hoped Steve would fight because his fists itched for Steve’s face.
Steve coming to this mission made all of his months of work shatter. He spent months with Tony, fighting and trying to erase the hurt in Tony’s expression. He persuades Tony to kick himself out of the Avengers because if he didn’t, he would never move on. But instead, Nick Fury picked Tony over Steve. Fury kicked out Steve from the Avengers and instead put him into solo missions.
“So, Bucky. You… and him?” He said sternly, his face knowing the exact answer to his own question. He has read the headlines. Steve has seen everything that has to deal with their relationship. He's seen the reactions of the people who take sides with Bucky. There was no denying it.
James knew this, but he did not give him the satisfaction of confirming their relationship.
“What the fuck are you doing here? You dumb ass, what are you doing here?” James argued, pushing Steve with as much force as would make him tumble back.
“Why are you doing this, Bucky? We were supposed to be…”
“Don’t fucking say it, you cheating fuck! What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I want to go back, James. I need him!”
“You disgusting excuse of a human! You are going nowhere near Tony. Stop using him like a fucking doll. He has feelings too, asshole! Do you know how long it took me till he stopped crying over you?! Do you know how many talks I had with Peter, the person who most adored you? Thank god he was understanding. You left your family, all because you wanted to go fuck to god-knows-where with a random woman! Now you want to come back? For what? So that you ruin my progress?”
“You drove my family away, bastard!” Steve shouted, shoving James back. “You pulled them away. You took Peter, Tony, Sam, every fucking one I loved!”
“It was your fault, not mine .” He said the word mine with so much disgust it made Steve’s face shatter.
“I want Tony back. I want Peter back.”
“He’s not yours! He’s Tony’s son. You need to stop acting as if you control them! You were there and now you are not. Deal with that you fucking idiot. You hurt them!” Steve was about to say something but he stopped Steve. “I’m leaving. You go near Tony or Peter, I won’t hesitate and I’ll tear your tongue out of your mouth. I won’t hesitate to let Winter end you, Steve. Nothing... I want nothing to hurt Tony. And, unfortunately for you, I plan on keeping my promise."
Steve looked sick as he said his next words. “You allow Winter near Tony?”
“Winter fucks him so good he is left wanting more," He smirks with pleasure as he watched Steve's reaction. Pure hatred. "Don't fuck with me, Steve.”
“What if he hurts him? He’s not stable! He will hurt Pete!” Steve shouts as James walks away. James says nothing, only a smile so wide on his face that it makes him spread a tear. He won. After so many years, after so many complications and pain. he won a perfect boyfriend and a perfect child.
“Why Bucky?!”
Nothing replies to his question but the sound of the engine starting. They left, finally feeling at peace with the whole situation.
“Fool me once, fool me twice. Are you death or paradise? Now you’ll never see me cry. There’s just no time to die,”
James laughed as he carried Peter to bed. “Ought’ I told you. You’re tired.”
“No! I promise I’m not! Could I stay with you and dada? Please!” Peter begged. Considering Peter was only two years old, it was remarkable how Peter could pronounce words. At that age, James couldn’t pronounce T.V. correctly. It always shocked him.
“No, I think you need to go to sleep. I promise tomorrow we’ll do something fun. Winter might play with you tomorrow as well. He’s been bothering me a lot lately because he wants to play with this cutie pie,” James tickled Peter a bit, enough to make Peter chuckle, “But today, you need rest! You spent the day playing and pranking Clint. Okay? But tomorrow, I promise we’ll do so many fun things.”
“Papa?” Peter asked hesitantly. Peter smiled widely when he noticed James’ smile. Peter might’ve been scared that James would react wrong about the name. But, the smile reassured Peter that his nickname was the best thing he heard. “Will you ever marry dada?”
James smiled at the picture he had in mind. It’s been a year since all the shit happened and he’s fallen in love with Tony every single day. Bit by bit he’s falling into a dark hole, but the dark hole gave him a warm embrace each time he felt deeper. Being with Tony has been amazing. He does think it’s too early for that type of commitment, but he sure loves the idea. “I hope so. I would love to, but that’s a secret between you and me, buddy. No point in ruining the surprise. Maybe later, when you’re five. Your father needs things to… slow down. But, I’ll love to marry him.”
James kissed Peter’s forehead and turned off the light. He turned on Peter’s nightlight, “Now good night. Love you, Pete.”
“Love you too papa,” Peter exclaimed sleepily, getting comfortable in his bed when Peter notices him heading towards the door.
“Good night.”
James closed the door, sighing softly at the interaction. He counted the seconds, one, two, three. James ran faster than Pietro, heading to Tony’s room. Tony jumps when he notices him, “Jesus, James! What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“He called me Papa! Peter… he called me Papa! Like, dad… but….” Tears fell down his face, washed over with emotion. James took deep breaths after some time to control his emotions, but the undeniable taste of satisfaction was there.
Tony teared up as well, “I’m happy for you. You know Pete loves you a lot. You deserve it.”
“I won’t ruin it, Tony. I won’t…”
“I know you won’t, James. But, don’t tell Winter he told you that. He’ll be pissed off tomorrow.” Tony laughed, shaking his head and kissing him on the lips, “You know… there is also something I want to do today. One last thing to end the night.”
"Yes."
“No time to die. No time to die,”
“Captain America! Captain America!” The reporters shouted. They made Steve’s mind turn heavy, his mind becoming very tired. Reporters jumped at the chance to speak with him, resulting in a jumble of voices in his head. All it created was headaches.
Steve didn’t pay attention, keeping his glance at his car.
“How do you feel about the wedding?” The woman stood in front of Steve, shoving the microphone into his personal space. But, when Steve got a good look at her face, he froze.
Son of a bitch. “I have somewhere to be, young lady. I have no desire to answer that question.”
The woman smirked, “Why not? I’m sure you have something to say about your ex marrying your best friend. It was never exposed to the public the reason you and Tony Stark broke up, do you have anything to say about that?”
“There has been gossip about you, Mr. Rogers. Cheating on Tony Stark with a mystery woman? Would you happen to shut down those rumors?” Another reporter asked, making the crowds of reporters roar with questions.
Steve returned his glance towards the woman, eying her with disgust. “Excuse me, but I’m leaving.”
Steve pushed through the growing crowd and got into his car.
“Fuck!” He shouts as he drives away, slamming the steering wheel with force. He didn’t even know about the wedding. There were no invites in his mailbox, no emails inviting him, and there wasn’t even a text from Natasha telling him about the wedding. He found out today that the best man for Bucky would be Sam. Sam is now his best friend, leaving Steve with nothing. No boyfriend, no best friend. He lost everyone, the group trusts, and his son.
He lost everything because of one mistake. One.
Would it be fine? Would Tony find out? This is not okay, I have a family. These responses didn’t go through his mind while he was doing it, but now he wished they did. That reporter ruined his life. The reporter showed her persuasion skills and got Steve hooked. But he fucked up and now he’s getting no reward.
“Fool me once, fool me twice. Are you death or paradise? Now you’ll never see me cry.”
“I’m so happy,” Tony sighed as he lay next to his husband. Husband, Husband, Husband. Tony repeated those words as if they were soon going to be taken away from him.
“Yeah?” James asked, a bright smile on his face. He loves this, laying down with his husband. James never had something that was his, always something that belongs to someone else. This was the best day ever for James because it finally moves on from the hate and the appalling background and starts something new. The animal inside him found peace. That animal is now able to take care of a kid and share the beautiful emotion called love. That animal that James needed to keep away from the team could sit down and watch a movie with the team. Everything was changing, all because of Tony.
“Hm. I love you. So much, I never thought I could be so happy.”
“I promise I’ll make you feel like this forever, Tony.”
Tony smiled, hugging James tightly, “I’ll always be happy by your side, idiot. The only thing you need to give back is amazing sex.”
“That’s not a problem, is it, darling.”
Tony blushed slightly while James laughed, “But I’m serious, Tony. I’ll always try my best to make you and Pete happy.” James’ words got drowned out by the door.
“Dada!” Peter cried out.
“Speaking of,” James walked towards the door while Tony giggled.
“Pete!” James picked up the young boy. “You are lucky I’m stronger than the average human. You’re getting heavy!” James tickled the brunette.
Peter’s laugh-filled up the room. “Stop! Stop!” Peter shouted as he laughed. James stopped as instructed, laughing at Peter. They all joined Tony on the bed and snuggled tight, enjoying this time together.
Tony didn’t know it at first, but this was the last day when everything was right. Where everything was perfect. Because life is filled with pain, it was only time that could tell the destiny of the happily married couple.
As much as people are destined to be together with a happily ever after, there is always time to die.