Voices in my head
Once Peter finished his milk, he could barely keep his eyes open.
He remembered that he was never able to finish it before and always fell asleep with the bottle falling from his hands but now he was still awake, barely, and there was no milk left.
Steve looked down at him with a concerned look. “He’s still awake, Bucky. I need more milk. And make it stronger.”
Bucky appeared at his side. He looked down at Peter and checked his pulse. “We don’t have time to give him another bottle. Put him in the car seat and I’ll inject him with a sedative.”
Peter wanted to tell them no but he felt like he could barely talk. He went to try and he just mumbled something incoherent.
“Shh, bear. Daddy’s here and he won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Steve picked him up and set him in the car seat then started to do the buckles up. He looked over at Bucky. “I don’t want to inject him with anything unless we have to. Let’s fill up another bottle and we’ll start going.”
Peter tried to move forward but he got stuck. He was aware of what was happening but he couldn’t do anything about it. He fell into unconsciousness shortly after he felt the truck start driving again.
.
.
.
Tony practically jumped out of the car before it even came to a stop.
Natasha traced the phone call to the middle of nowhere but they couldn’t get an exact location because it was such a short call.
The police searched the area and found Peter’s backpack and broken phone.
Tony crossed the police tape and spotted Peter’s backpack thrown off to the side carelessly. He knew that was his kids backpack. It was the same backpack he saw Peter throw over his shoulder the last time he saw him this morning.
“That’s his. That’s my kids bag.” Tony looked down at it. He felt sick. If only he would have known what was going to happen, he would never have sent Peter to school.
Tony turned around because he was going to vomit.
This couldn’t be happening again. Peter was kidnapped and he was going to lose his fucking mind if he didn’t find him in the next few hours.
He looked down at his feet and spotted Peter’s broken phone. It must have been broken after that man found Peter on it calling him. Tony couldn’t get the sound of Peter screaming out of his head.
Natasha appeared at his side and looked down at the broken phone. “We have a strong lead this time, Tony. We’re gonna find him.”
“We had a lot of strong leads last time too. He was gone for seven years.” Tony wasn’t giving up hope. He never will but his child is gone. Taken from him.
Natasha’s phone was ringing so she stepped aside to answer it. Tony looked around. It was almost pitch black out where they were with one the light coming from one street lamp and the police cars that were there.
Across the street there was a small rest stop so Tony ran towards it, hoping to get some eye witnesses or for there to be some security cameras that he could watch and hopefully give them any kind of information.
Tony pushed open the doors and looked around. He ran up to the cashier and pulled out his wallet to show the man a picture of Peter. It was taken a few months ago but Peter looked the same.
“Please. My son was kidnapped. His name is Peter. Have you seen him?” Tony shoved Peter’s picture in the man’s face. “Please. He’s only fourteen. They brought him over there to that parking lot. Across the street.”
The man looked at the picture of Peter and then turned to look behind Tony. Tony followed his eyes.
On the tv screen was a picture of Peter with the caption: fourteen year old Peter Stark missing. Last seen at his school before he was kidnapped by an unidentified male.
It was happening all over again although this time he was staring at the face of his fourteen year old child instead of his three year old child.
Peter’s happy face stared back at him. Tony took that picture. He was wearing a yellow long sleeved shirt and was sitting on the outside patio sharing an ice cream Sundae with Tony. Now he was gone.
Tony snapped his head back towards the man and pointed wildly at the tv. “That’s my baby. Okay? And he was taken from me. Do you have kids?”
The man nodded. “Two daughters.”
“Please. That’s my kid. He was taken to that parking lot across the street and I don’t know what happened over there but he was theretwo hours ago. Did you see anything?” Tony was so desperate. He was willing to do anything.
The man scratched his head and looked out the window. “I don’t know, man. A lot of cars do drug deal meetups in that parking lot. It’s abandoned and I don’t have any cameras in my shop.”
Tony smacked the counter. “Fuck! Think. Try to remember. Two hours ago. What cars were there?”
“Two hours ago I went on break to have a smoke. I don’t know, you know my eyesight isn’t that great. I may be wrong.”
Tony encouraged him to keep talking. Something was better than nothing.
“There was an old 1990 honda civic sedan. They sat there for a few minutes.” The man explained and Tony’s heart fell.
“What colour was it? The car? What colour?!”
“Dark blue. I think.”
“Oh god.” That was it. That was Peter. “What happened? Did they drive away?!”
The man shook his head. “No. A black pick up truck pulled up and then the Honda went that way,” He pointed in the direction that Tony came from. “and the truck went the opposite way.”
Tony grabbed the picture of Peter and left. “Thank you so much.”
Tony ran across the street just as Natasha was running towards him with a look on her face that Tony had seen way too many times. He knew it wasn’t good news.
“Tony! I just got off the phone with NYS Psychiatric Institute. Rogers escaped three weeks ago.”
Tony froze.
He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Steve had his kid. Peter was with Steve right now and he couldn’t fucking breathe. Deep down, he knew it was Steve who had taken his kid but he didn’t want to admit it until he knew for sure.
He clenched desperately at his chest. “Fuck. Oh fuck.” He turned around in the direction where Peter must have gone in. “No. No. Oh my god. What if-what if… oh fuck.”
Tony had to brace himself against a car so he didn’t fall over. “He has Peter again. He has my baby.”
“We’re gonna get him back, Tony. We know who has him.” Natasha tried to reassure Tony but it didn’t work. Nothing would work unless he was physically holding Peter in his arms and he was okay.
“I need Peter.” Tony whispered. He felt like he was going to faint.
“Rogers won’t hurt him. I know that man is fucked up but he loves Peter, I know it’s so fucked up but he does and he won’t hurt Peter. We just have to figure out where they’re going.”
Tony snapped his neck to look at Natasha. “Yeah. Steve is fucked up. In his sick and twisted mind, he loves my child so how do I know he won’t do something awful?”
Tony didn’t want to say it but he had to. “What if this time, Rogers knows he won’t win and I’ll get Peter back so he hurts him? What if it’s a murder suicide? He’s fucked up, Natasha. And my baby is with him!”
Natasha turned to look at him but she didn’t say anything and that told Tony everything he needed to know.
He needed to get Peter back.
Tony ran his shaky hands through his hair and turned in the direction the man at the rest stop said his kid might have gone in. “I-I think they took Peter that way. The man in the store said he saw the same dark blue car from before come here and then a black pickup truck drove off that way.”
“Okay. That’s our new lead. Let’s get in the car.” Natasha ran towards the group of police that were trying to figure out where to go and what to do next. “A black pickup truck was spotted by a civilian going North. License plate is unknown. Pull over any black pickup truck spotted and search it.” With that, Natasha hopped into the passenger seat since Tony was already behind the wheel.
Tony floored it once Natasha was in the car. “It’s a straight road for about seven miles then it branches off. How the fuck do I choose which way to go?”
Tony could barely see straight. Every second counted. He didn’t know if Peter was hurt or not or if his child was screaming for him.
He knew Peter was and he knew he needed to find him.
.
.
.
Peter felt like his head was under water.
He slowly felt like he was returning to the surface. The first thing he heard were voices. Very familiar voices.
Voices he never wanted to hear again but they were muffled so he couldn’t make out what they were saying.
Peter lifted his hand up so he could rub at his eyes but when he went to lean forward, he was stuck in place so he looked down and started panicking when he saw where he was and what he was sitting in.
“He’s awake.” Came the familiar voice.
Peter lifted his head up to see Steve sitting in the passenger seat and smiling at him. Peter struggled to pull at the buckles on his car seat. “Let me go. Wh-what’re you doin’?”
Steve shifted himself so he could face Peter more. “Oh, bear. I saved you. I’m so sorry it took daddy so long. I know you were so scared and cried for me all the time. But I’m here now and I’m going to do whatever I have to do to protect you.”
“Stop.” Peter whimpered loudly and looked out the car window but all he could see was his reflection looking right back at him and in return, he saw his dad’s face. His real dad’s face where he got most of his looks from. This man that claimed to be his father and lied to him for all those years was supposed to be locked away forever but here he was.
Peter didn’t want to go another seven years without seeing his family. He would be twenty one then and too old to sleep between his parents or have sleepovers on the living room floor with Morgan or get carried to bed by his dad. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to all of that yet.
“I want to go home. Let me go. Just-just stop the car a-and drop me off. I’ll-I’ll find my own way home.” Peter reached for the car door handle but it was too far so he tried to slide forward in the car seat but he was held tightly in place so he threw his head back. “Let me go! Please! please. Please please plea-”
“Enough, Peter.” Steve snapped at him which immediately shut Peter up. “I will not have to talk back to me like that or you will be punished. Do you want me to put the lock back on your bedroom door?”
Peter gasped at the memory of him acting up and getting locked in his room with no physical contact with anyone or anything for hours at a time. He shook his head.
“Good. Then put your thumb in your mouth, bear, because you’re stressing and it’ll calm you down.” Steve stared at him, waiting for Peter to put his thumb in his mouth but he didn’t. Steve raised his eyebrows at him. “Do I have to come back there and help you?”
Peter aggressively shook his head. “No. No! I’m fourteen. I don-I don’t do that anymore.”
Steve’s face morphed into an expression that Peter had never seen before. The panic that raced through his veins was enough to turn him to stone in fear.
“Stop the car, Buck.” Steve ordered while looking straight into Peter’s eyes.
Peter started to look widely around while panicking as the car slowed down and was pulled over. Peter screamed, thrashing in the car seat as Steve got out of the car. “No! No no no noooo!”
The back door was being opened and Steve climbed in, grabbing Peter’s face to forcibly turn his head in his direction. Peter looked up at him with terrified eyes, too scared to even breathe.
“You do as I say and do not say no to me. Do you understand, Peter Rogers?”
Peter tried to turn his head away but he was immediately regretting that since Steve was letting go of his face and moving to unbuckle him from the car seat. For the first time since being put into it, Peter fought to stay in but Steve was much larger and much stronger than him so he lost that battle.
Steve grabbed him by the arm and lifted him out of the car. Peter tried to kick him off and grab onto anything he could grab onto so he wasn’t taken out of the car, in fear of what might happen to him since Steve might do anything to him and was in the power to do anything to him.
Steve had never hit him other than a few swats on the butt. But now, this didn’t seem like the same Steve Peter once knew so he had no idea what might happen.
Peter was forced to stand while Steve held onto his arms roughly, definitely bruising him.
“You listen to me. I love you and I’m not going to let anyone take you from me again. The bad people who claim to be your family may be related to you biologically but you’re too young to understand that and that’s okay.”
Peter swallowed. He was old enough now to know what that means but he didn’t say anything.
Steve continued. “I am your dad and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure the bad people don’t take you from me again. I made a huge mistake last time by staying too close to them. I won’t make that mistake this time.”
Both of their heads snapped in the direction of a light in the distance making it’s way closer to them. Steve grabbed Peter by the arm and quickly turned him around so he was facing the forest off to the road.
“Don’t you dare turn around.”
Peter whimpered. He had tears streaming down his face. All he wanted was for the car to slow down and for someone to see him and save him but the car didn’t slow down. It drove past them and was gone within seconds. Peter sobbed out.
Steve grabbed him and forced him to look at him again. “We have to make a stop first and you will not try to run away or scream or talk to anyone. Because if you do, I will have Tony killed. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Peter was immediately shaking his head and grabbing into Steve’s arms, trying to plead with him. “No no no no. Please. Please. Please, don’t.” He couldn’t help the sobs that escaped his mouth, unable to form words because of it. “I-I don- p-p-please. I can’...”
“I’ve been watching you for a long time, Peter. Not me personally since I was… unable to. But I have my ways. I know you live at 4172 Club Drive and I know you still talk to Ned. How’s Morgan by the way? And Harley? He’s real annoying. Always catching my guys before they could get close to you. Or Aiser. He’s cute, right?”
Peter tried to rip himself away from Steve’s grip. He was being watched for the past who knows how long and he had no idea. “I hate you. Why-why are you doing this to me? Please stop!”
Steve’s face softened. “I know where you live, well, where you used to live so if you try anything when we go to where we’re going, I will have them all killed and I’ll show you pictures as proof. Do not try anything.”
Peter felt sick.
He felt like he was underwater again but this time he didn’t fight to get to the surface.
Steve lifted him back into the car and sat him in the car seat, buckling him in while Peter looked out the window and then he caught Bucky's eye who was watching him with a dead look in his eye.
Bucky was usually the one to make a stressful situation, funny but not this time. He didn’t say one word.
Steve grabbed his hand and tried to force his thumb in his mouth and it had Peter’s attention going back onto the man in front of him. “No. I don’t want to.” Peter turned his head away from him so Steve grabbed his face again.
“Remember what I said. I can make one phone call and get the pictures to show you within the same hour.” Steve warned and then softened his expression again. “You need to calm down and you like sucking your thumb. Remember, bear?”
Peter remembers and that’s why he doesn’t want to get back into that habit again.
He didn’t have much of a choice now.
Peter had a lot of time to think. No one spoke to him and he didn’t say anything since he didn’t think he was allowed but he wouldn’t want to anyways. After a few minutes, sucking on his thumb did bring him some comfort and he hated that but he realized how hard it was going to be for him to stop again.
That thought made him sad.
What if his dad never found him? What if they didn’t want to go through the stress of looking for him again so they just stopped? What if they moved on without him now and he was stuck with Steve?
He tried not to think about that but he didn’t have much of a choice.
By the time they came into some sort of civilization, Peter checked the time on the dashboard and saw that it was 2:14am. He didn’t know where they would be going at that time but it had his palms sweating.
The car pulled up to a parking lot so Peter looked around, trying to figure out where they were but he couldn’t recognize anything.
“Peter, remember what I said. We’re gonna go into a shop to quickly get something done. Do not talk to anyone and stay right by me or Bucky.”
Peter felt like he was doing this all over again. It was always like this before.
He nodded so Steve got out of the car and climbed into the back to unbuckle Peter. He had to take his thumb out of his mouth to get his arm out but out of habit and the fact that it was comforting him now, he put it right back in but Steve was taking his hand. “You can’t suck your thumb when we’re out.”
Peter wanted to but he reluctantly removed his thumb and was lifted out of the truck, hating how he was feeling about everything.
Steve grabbed onto his hand and Peter’s immediate reaction was to take his hand away but then Steve was looking down at him and with one simple look, it told Peter everything he couldn’t say so he reluctantly put his hand back in Steve’s.
It felt like a ghost town.
Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night or maybe because they seemed to be in a small town. Either way, there were no other people there.
Peter didn’t know what he would do if he saw someone else. He had been kidnapped for over twelve hours now so people had to be looking for him, right?
His face had to be all over the news and so if someone saw him, they would recognize him. They had to.
They walked across the parking lot and over to a small store in the corner. Peter’s eyes looked up at the sign.
Passport photos.
His heart dropped. Steve was going to take him out of the country.
He tugged on Steve’s hand to try and get away. “No. I’m not going inside. Let me go. Let me go!”
Steve squeezed his hand so hard, Peter thought it would break. “I thought you understood what I said, baby bear. Don’t make me pull my phone out and make a call.”
Peter stilled.
He looked around to see if anyone was watching them.
If he saw someone, he didn’t know what he would do. If it were a mother with her kids, he would possibly stare at her until she recognized him or noticed something was wrong. But it was too late for anyone to be out. He didn’t even know why the passport shop was open.
The three of them walked inside and Peter looked towards the man that must have worked there. He put his magazine down and approached them.
“Welcome. Are you here to get passport pictures taken?” The worker asked and Steve pulled Peter against his side.
“Yeah, my son has never been out of the country and we’re taking a last minute trip so if we could make this quick.”
Peter looked at the man who quickly glanced down at him and then walked towards the back where there was a white screen and a stool.
“Of course. I just need his birth certificate.”
Peter thought this was it. Steve didn’t have his birth certificate since he wasn’t his actual father and had no way of getting that document but then Steve was pulling a folder out of his jacket and opening it up, handing it to the man.
Peter’s eyes went wide. It didn’t make any sense.
He expected the worker to frown at the document but he was smiling and looking at Peter. “Peter Rogers aged fourteen. Alright, come climb up on this stool here. Look straight into the camera and try not to smile.”
Peter let go of Steve’s hand and made his way over to the stool.
This wasn’t happening. This man seemed to have no idea who Peter was or the fact that he was currently unintentionally helping the kidnappers take Peter out of the country.
He looked into the man’s eyes, fear written all over his face. The man frowned. “Uh, can you look into the camera lens for me?”
Peter did as he was told and then a flash was going off.
When his eyes adjusted to the light again, he focused on the tv screen in front of him and his jaw dropped.
It was a picture of his face with the word missing in bold letters under it.
It was showing a security camera footage of yesterday at his school when that man took him but then it was cutting off to his face again. The tv was muted so Peter couldn’t hear anything.
Steve’s eyes followed where he was looking and Peter saw the way terror ran through his body and the very second he realized they were screwed.
“Uh, thank you. We’re just in a rush so if you could make it quick.” Steve stood so he was facing the tv so the worker wouldn’t look at it. He then held his hand out for Peter. “Come here, Peter.”
Peter hesitated but went in fear of what would happen if he didn’t go.
“Of course. It’ll take about five minutes.”
Peter watched the man type some things into a computer and then a printer like machine turned on.
The man looked over at Peter so Peter stared back. He felt like he was having a silent conversation with him and that’s when everything fell apart.
Peter felt like it was happening in slow motion.
The worker turned around and looked up at the tv, his eyes going wide at what he was seeing. Peter’s face plastered on the tv screen with the headline underneath.
Peter Stark. Fourteen years old. Kidnapped from school yesterday afternoon.
The man then turned to look back at Peter and then up at Steve and Bucky. “You’re the kidnappers?”
Steve let go of Peter’s hand and reached in his pocket for something else.
Peter’s eyes went wide when he saw Steve holding a gun and was aiming it at the man’s head. “No! Don’t! Don’t hurt him!” Peter screamed, trying to grab onto Steve’s arm so he would lower the gun.
“It’s okay. Come here, kid.” The worker held up his arms but slowly gestured for Peter to come to his side.
Peter looked up at Steve with desperate eyes. “Please, please don’t hurt him. Please. please. He- it’s not his fault. Don’t hurt him!”
Steve looked over at Bucky. “Take Peter to the car, Buck. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“It’s time to go, Peter.” Bucky grabbed onto Peter’s hand but Peter pulled away so Bucky picked up the kicking and screaming fourteen year old and carried him out to the car.
He covered a hard over Peter’s mouth to get him to stay quiet but Peter had to get away now. It was his only chance.
No matter how hard he tried and how hard he squirmed and kicked, he couldn’t get out of Bucky's arms. Just as Bucky opened up the trucks back door to put him in, a gunshot went off and Peter froze.
He turned his head to see Steve walking out with a bunch of Paper’s in his hands and Peter screamed.