Hesitance
Silence smothered the room like a heavy blanket, Toni sat back ridged hands in sight, keeping as still as possible, looking as if she was trying to turn to stone like one of her countless victims, to simply disappear into thin air like medusa always was able to, she sat.
Waiting.
For what exactly she was still unsure,
For them to hate her?
For abandonment?
For them to turn her in?
For them to kill her?
The silence continued to get heavier with each passing second,
Toni was holding her breath not daring to even used the trained silent and undetectable breathing she received during training she did not want to risk startling one of them,
To appear like a threat,
To become an enemy
A target,
Reviled.
-------------------
Clint was the first person to recover, quipping “is it true you killed a dude with a metal straw?”
Toni looked like the weight of the world had slid off her shoulders,
Clint’s throwaway comment was the sign of his acceptance,
He hadn’t shunned her instantly,
that at least one of them still acted the same around her.
For now at least.
Her smile was wry,
shaky,
Brittle,
But well-practiced.
Clapping her hands together hoping to end the stunned daze of the team or more specifically, James and Winter, Rusty.
They could all hate her and she would live, but if Rusty hated her for keeping this from them, it would truly break her in ways her father, Stane, Raza, Killian, and the world never could.
“Yep,” she popped the p, “that was one of my unplanned missions.”
Getting a far away and almost glazed look in her eyes instead of the usual shine when she told a story.
She spoke ruefully “I had been tracking the guy for a while but he had gone off-grid. By pure chance, I had just so happened to be there while on an undercover mission and I couldn't risk him disappearing again.”
She hesitated slightly with a grimace she continued “And that guy definitely could’ve, he was a resourceful and cunning bastard and I was still getting a name and reputation in the intelligence community so even I wasn't sure how well it would turn out.”
She waved her hand in a simple almost dismissive gesture, “So I just grabbed the nearest metal, or at least solid object, and just… kicked it? Well anyways I kinda roundhoused it into his head and it went in one ear out the other."
The shine was slowly returning to her eyes, she talked with her hands more, as she normally did but she still kept her posture restrained, not wanting to startle anyone “but in my defense, it only happened once but no one ever seems to let me live it down. You off a guy with a straw ONE TIME and suddenly it's your greatest and most infamous achievement.”
Toni glanced at Steve, Natasha, and Sam she had long ago discussed this with Banner, the Hulk had smelled it on her, the death.
The poison.
The blood.
The weapons.
That was why she broke the news to the team in his absence.
Thor had no grasp of the concept of what she did, he was more like a golden retriever with a kill switch than someone who could grasp the complex political situations of that time, besides he already had Asgard to keep track of.
And based on all the stories she got from Loki when they had their secret drinking nights [yes, yes, he knew who she was and they had traded stories about their various escapades] so every Thursday night they met up in some ratty little whole in the wall bar, always in a different country, and they would talk.
Business,
strategies,
politics,
anything
and everything.
It was nice to have a kindred spirit, a friend.
But she reconfirmed a thousand times over that Thor was basically a bumbling oaf who needed constant babysitting even when he was supposed to be acting as king, a loveable oaf, but still an oaf.
He would probably just… end up boldly congratulating her on her abilities and say they must all drink in celebration, but if the team reacted badly with Banner around…
The hulk would have most certainly made an appearance to protect his friend, “tin woman” and “scary small” even though he knew that she didn’t really need it.
But still, the sentiment was appreciated, mostly.
-------------------
Her laugh was restrained
James and Winter hated that but they were rooted to the spot, rooted to the chair they had almost ripped to shreds with their nails and had splintered the frame of with their iron, or well, technically vibranium grip.
Their mind looping the video over and over
And over
And over
And over again
Only snippets of the world outside making their way through the haze of their mind.
The video kept flashing in their head
“Love the man who killed my parents”
Toni calling him rusty
Toni saying she missed them
She forgave them
She loved them,
BOTH of them
Toni was medusa
Toni.
Was.
Medusa.
Their sweet little Toni, who had turned out to be a spitfire.
The Toni that fell asleep on their shoulder
The Toni that had a massive and incredibly concerning coffee addiction
The Toni that constantly ensured everyone in the tower was happy
The Toni who suffered so much in Afghanistan and came back for a man who couldn’t even remember himself some days, let alone her.
The Toni that made the most incredible and occasionally pointless inventions like the tower’s new semi-sentient toaster oven
The Toni who smiled and flirted with everyone but only now were they realizing that her soft loving smiles were only ever reserved for the team, that her flirting had only ever been genuine and not empty compliments to butter someone up when directed at him
The Toni they had fallen in love with but had never been without of their love for medusa
The video had torn down the last wall in their heart between Toni and medusa.
Toni.
Loved.
Them.
Toni.
Was.
Medusa.
And that meant
Medusa.
Medusa.
THE MEDUSA, WHOM THEY LOVED
Loved.
Them.
Back.
Their mind focused on that sole point, like it once had when they were given an order by a hydra agent with the red book.
The world finally came flooding back to them, crashing back in waves of sensation.
Their senses immediately trained on Toni, she was waving her hand in front of their face hesitantly, as if scared of how they would react.
“Rusty, are you with me?” her voice flooded his ears, it sounded worried.
Why was she worried?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
They had not moved yet.
She was scared they would be mad.
That they would reject her.
The very notion was ridiculous.
… but they couldn't bear to have that look on her beautiful face any longer.
And then they were moving.
When had they started moving?
Never mind that it didn't matter.
All that mattered was getting medusa,
Toni,
as close to them as possible,
in their arms,
in their life,
in their EVERYTHING.
Grabbing her head,
holding her face between their hands,
They did what they had done so long ago.
They kissed her.