dreamer

A few weeks had passed since she had woken up from that amazing dream and things were starting to turn up. Her mother had stopped her constant nagging and seemed to have given up, and her father was talking to her more so than usual, he would ask her how her day went every night at dinner. Her and Brooke were talking more than they ever had, it would be small things like help on homework or her asking for rides but it was much better than how it was before. From what she had gathered up until this point every time she slept she would wake up and live in this other world, one where she had a cute boyfriend and a real relationship with her siblings. Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of talking to someone and it would be hard to figure out what had happened and where she was. It was odd because time seemed to work differently in her dreams, it moved much faster. It had only been a week since the first time she'd entered the dream, however inside the dream it had been almost a two months had since Ashton kissed her. Keeping track of time was hard for her, so in order to make sure she wasn't confused she began writing everything down in her journal in the dream every day before going to bed. She knew that a version of herself existed when she was awake and the trick seemed to work, every time she woke up Amelia would figure out the date and read all of the diary entry's. She was no longer scared when she woke up in the apartment, she was happy, everyday after she woke up all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. Needless to say her sleep schedule was thriving. After a long and boring Saturday Amelia was more than ready to hit the hay and live her perfect life when a knock at her door interrupts her nighttime routine.

"Amelia" the voice of her brother says from the other side of the door, she frowns in confusion and walks over to the door opening him standing in her doorway

"what are you doing here?"

"I dropped out" he says

"what why?"

"because mom kept calling me and freaking out about you and I was sick of it so I'm here are you happy now?" he says sitting on her bed and running his hands through his hair, she looks at him in shock

"no I'm not happy I don't need you to take care of me I'm perfectly capable so just go back"

"no you're not because people who know how to take care of themselves don't down a whole bottle of pain pills" he yells standing up to face her

"you don't know what you're talking about that was a long time ago I'm fine now"

"bullshit Amelia! you're not fine according to mom all you do is stay in your bed and sleep!" he yells

"you don't understand" she mumbles feeling the tears fill her blue eyes, she always hated fighting with Kaden as he was the one who basically raised her. Even when they no longer talked he still watched out for her and made sure she was ok

"you're so fucking selfish I mean seriously how could you do that to us? especially after Danny" he says making her heart ache at the sound of her little brother who had died when they were younger

"for once I wasn't thinking about anyone else but myself, I wanted to be at peace but then I woke up"

"you have a great life!" he screams

"no you have a great life! you're the one with a million friends and a football scholarship, you've never had an ounce of anxiety or depression because you're everyones fucking golden boy! They forgot about me, they put me to the side like I was nothing. you wouldn't understand because they loved you, I was just there in the background do you know how fucking lonely that is?! to feel like you don't matter?"

"thats not true" he says softly with tears in his eyes but he quickly wipes them away

"ever since that day mom has never looked at me the same, she hates me"

"you know it wasn't your fault he Danny died"

"yes it was! I'm the one that looked away for a second, I'm the one that had to tell the cops that I wasn't watching him, I'm the one who's had to live with that everyday! I grew up knowing that I'm the reason he was hit by that car, if I had only watched him for a second more but I was too focused on barbies. Every single day is hell, all I wanted was some peace" she says crying

"Amelia" he says reaching out to her

"just leave" she mumbles sitting on her bed and wiping her tears, when she hears the door close she sighs and slips under her covers cuddling into her warm blanket before drifting off to sleep.

-

A knock at her door causes her to open her eyes, she groans and stretches her arms before hopping out of bed and running to the door ignoring the face that she's only wearing a long sleeved white shirt and pajama shorts. She opens the door and Ashton walks in holding coffee and bagels with a smile on his face. "good morning beautiful how are you feeling?"

"good how are you?" she asks following him to the kitchen and taking one of her pills

"great, now here is your breakfast and pick me up you got a big day today"

"thank you so much I needed this, Ash remind me what the plan is" she says siping her coffee and spreading cream cheese on her bagel

"we are going to brunch with Kaden and his girlfriend pretty soon so you might wanna get ready"

"right Kaden" she mumbles remembering the fight she had just gotten into with him in her real life. She takes the last bite of her bagel before walking to her bedroom and throwing on some jeans and a hoodie, she sits on her bed and starts reading over her journal.

3-2-18

Kaden and I went to a coffee shop and had a nice day, he told me about his new girlfriend Mia who he seems to really like. I'm happy for him, he needs a girl like her in his life so that way he can stop freaking out over my stuff. also lunch with Kaden and Mia

~Amelia

As she reads the words tears fill her eyes once again, the Kaden in her dream was so much easier to get along with, though he worried all the time and tried to baby her constantly. She regretted the fight and everything that was said, she never should have told him about Danny, he never should have been brought up in the first place. It was an unspoken rule in their family to never talk about the day when Amelia was supposed to be watching her younger brother Danny, she turned for a second to pick up her barbie doll and he ran into the street to chase after a ball. She wanted to apologize because he was right, she couldn't just leave her family especially after what they went through with Danny, regardless of how much she suffered.

"hey whats wrong?" Ashton's voice says snapping her out of her thoughts, she looks up at him and smiles wiping her tears

"nothing"

"you can talk to me Ame" he says walking over to her and grabbing her hands pulling her to her feet

"I got into a fight with Kaden and I said some things I shouldn't have"

"its gonna be ok because he's your brother and he loves you" he says pulling her into a hug as more tears fall down her face, she wraps her arms around him and cries letting out everything she had been feeling for the last couple weeks

"I'm here for you Lia, always don't ever forget that" he whispers in her ear before kissing her cheek and continuing to rub her back while she cries.