Shattered

“So, Pepp, what do-” Tony’s phone went off. He ignored it. “What do you want to do tonight for dinner?”

“I’m fine with anything.”

His phone went off again. “Ok. What about shawarma? I haven’t had shawarma in a while.” Why wouldn’t they just give it up? He wasn’t going to pick up.

“Yes. Tony, you should answer your phone.”

“It’s probably not important.”

“Tony, they’ve called you 4 times now.”

“So?”

She fixed him with her best “listen-to-me-or-face-my-wrath” look, and he caved, pulling his phone from his pocket and put it to his ear. “What?”

“Uh, boss?”

“I’m kind of busy, Happy-”

“There’s a spaceship on top of the old Stark tower.”

“What?”

“Like. A spaceship. The new owners called, I think they figured you would have something to do with it?”

“A- Happy, you’re joking. Please tell me you’re joking,” he said, somewhat desperately. How- why- this was Thor’s fault. It must be. He didn’t know that they had sold the tower (but he knew they were at the upstate facility, so why wouldn’t he have just gone there instead?)

“Not joking, boss, you know me. You’d better come up here. No one’s come out of the ship yet but they can hear yelling in there.”

“What’s going on, Tony?”

In the future, if you asked him, he would vehemently deny the small whimper that escaped his mouth. “I’ll be right there, Happy.” He hung up. “Um. Apparently there’s a- a spaceship? On the old Stark Tower. Probably Thor, or something, or- I should go.”

She stared at him in disbelief. “Tony-”

“Maybe you should come with. They haven’t come out of the ship yet so they’re probably not hostile and you’re much better at dealing with this kind of thing than I am-”

“Tony. Calm down. Just- get the suit on and fly us over there.”

Despite himself, he grinned at her. “Told you this suit would come in handy.”

“Save the I-told-you-so’s for later and let’s go.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

------------------------

“You said that you had friends here! You told us this was where your team lived, are you telling me that they’re not here anymore?”

“Hela, stop yelling at him.”

Hela made a small noise of frustration and kicked at the wall of the ship. “Fine. But if no one’s come out that you recognize in the next ten minutes I’m leaving this stupid ship. It smells like cheap beer.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, please, you can’t deny-”

Thud. There was the sound of something powering down outside, and Banner brightened. “Whoever’s in there, show yourselves or I’ll-”

“Tony!”

Hela cursed as Banner stepped out of the ship, throwing open the door. A man in metal armor (Stark, she presumed) was standing outside with a red-haired woman at his side. “Bruce? You- oh my god.”

The armor retreated into a stone on his chest. “What- what are you- where were you? Why do you have a spaceship? Who are the scary ladies behind you? What happened?”

Banner bit his lip. “Er. That’s a bit of a long story, maybe we should go inside?”

Stark snorted. “Uh, yeah. See, that’s the thing. We don’t exactly own this tower anymore, I sold it after- well, I’ll tell you later. Point is, we moved to a new facility upstate.”

Hela rolled her eyes. “Banner-”

“Well, how was I supposed to know?”

Stark eyed her warily. “Who’s the racoon?”

She frowned. “What?”

Banner snorted quietly. “Um. That’s also a long story-”

“I’m Hela. Goddess of Death.”

Red-haired woman raised an eyebrow, and Banner added, “She’s Thor’s sister.”

“Really? You don’t look like him.”

“Thankfully.”

They studied each other for an extra moment, before Stark shrugged. “Well, we should probably get off of this roof so… how about this. I’ll fly ahead of you to the compound, and you guys can follow me there?”

“I’ll ride with them,” said the red-head. “Make sure they don’t lose you.”

She leaned up and gave Stark a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll see you there, ok?”

Ugh. Affection. Hela sighed and leaned against the doorframe and waited for them to be done.

Red-head turned back towards them and smiled, the expression looking a bit forced and tense. “Alright. Shall we?”

-----------------------

The suit was hard to keep track of. Not that this threw Brunnhilde off- if anything, it was more of a fun challenge. As much as Hela and Banner seemed to hate her flying (they just had weak stomachs), she was a master at it and could outdo some of the best even while ragingly drunk. She’d know. She’d done it before.

“So. What’s your name?” Stark’s beloved had peeked her head into the cockpit.

“I’m Brunnhilde.”

After a moment of silence, she supposed she should probably ask the woman’s name. “And yours?”

“Pepper Potts. So… what’s the deal with the Death Lady over there? Should I be concerned?”

She took a close look at her face, and decided she was genuine. She couldn’t blame her for being a little worried- Hela was an intimidating figure, even when she was doing nothing but arguing with Banner over who would get to eat the last of the chips (one of the few food items she had on her ship). Banner was losing. It was a bit sad.

“She’s fine. She’s quelled her murderous urges now, so she probably won’t go on a rampage.”

This seemed to concern the woman- Pepper- more than it reassured her. Midgardians.

Pepper went to go sit back down in the back of the ship. From her spot, she could see that, while no one was actively hostile, Banner and Pepper were sitting as far away as humanly possible from Hela, who was doing the same to them. The only sound was the occasional crunch as Hela ate the chips (that she had stolen. From her. She should probably be madder about that than she was.)

They spent the rest of the ride in silence, Brunnhilde following the small red and gold suit carefully (but expertly).

When they finally touched down at the base (not bad, considering it was made by a Midgardian), she clambered out first, followed by Banner and Pepper. Hela finished off the chips and joined them a moment later.

“Wow, Tony, this is really nice,” Banner said. Stark’s suit shrunk back into the stone on his chest. “Much more removed than the tower.”

“Yeah, it’s an old storage facility that I fixed up. Needed a couple tweaks, added some bedrooms. Had to fix half the floors when Maximoff- oh. Right. Let’s go inside and I’ll catch you up, alright?”

---------------------

The complex was nice, Hela would admit that much. Not nearly as nice as Asgard- but then again, nothing was. By Midgardian standards (or at least, the standards of several millennia ago) it was decent.

They made their way inside. “Do you guys want to clean up or something? Get some new clothes? No offense, Hades, but you look like you just crawled out of a dumpster. All of you do actually but- is that a gunshot wound? You should get that looked at.”

“I’m fine,” she frowned. (It did hurt a bit. But it wasn’t important.)

Stark looked her up and down, then shrugged. “Alright. You godly types are weird. But, you know, showers are available and we have extra clothes if you ever want to get out of that weird gladiator thing you’ve got going. You too, uh- what did you say your name was again?”

“Brunnhilde.”

“Right. And Bru- hey, that’s my shirt!”

Banner shrugged. “It was the only thing I could find on the quinjet.”

Stark perked up. “Right, the quinjet! What happened to you, man?”

“Um,” Banner said, looking around the room. “Maybe we should sit down before we start.”

Potts spoke up. “We can go sit in the common area. Rhodey should be there.”

Banner smiled. “Rhodey’s here? What about Steve? And, um, Nat?”

Stark’s face visibly fell. “Right. I, um. Let’s sit down first, then I’ll tell you what’s happened.” 

As they walked, Hela tried to think. Steve was- she was pretty sure he was the Captain. And Nat must be ‘Tasha’ and- who in the Nine was Rhodey?

It turned out that Rhodey was a man around Stark’s age with robotic legs that they found sitting on a couch in what they called the common area. He looked slightly alarmed when they all walked in (the man had some level of composure, at least), then relaxed when Stark gave him the signal “everything’s good.”

“Tony. Who are these people? What is- Bruce?”

“Hey, Rhodey.”

“Rhodey, this is Brunnhilde and this is Hela. Hela’s Thor’s terrifying older sister that he never thought to tell us about and- who exactly are you, again?”

Brunnhilde shrugged. “Along for the ride.”

“Ok, sure. I’m guessing they’re from space, cause Bruce showed up on top of Stark tower in a spaceship- it’s outside right now actually, do you mind if I take a look at it? I can’t imagine the tech-”

“No.”

“But-”

“No.”

Hela smirked. Figures that Brunnhilde would be overprotective of that dirty old thing.

She looked around the room, decided that the corner of the L-shaped couch looked comfortable, and sat in it. Brunnhilde, seeming to not know where else to sit, sat down next to her.

“Alright. Do you want to go first, or should I?”

“Um. Actually, I don’t- I don’t know much of what’s happened. How long has it been, by the way?”

“2 years.”

Banner paled considerably. “Oh, god. That’s- that’s a long time. Oh god.”

Hela waited for him to speak up again, and when she didn’t, she spoke instead. “We were on a planet called Sakaar. Horrible place. Hulk was fighting as a gladiator in the maniac dictator’s arena, and when I fell there when my stupid brother pushed me out of the Bifrost, I had to fight him.”

That seemed to snap Banner out of it. “Wait. We fought?”

“Yes.”

“Did I win?”

Hela shifted uncomfortably, and Brunnhilde grinned. “Hulk kicked her ass. One of my fondest memories.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Stark looked between them. “Oookay. So the Hulk beat you up, and then what, Bruce took over to patch you up?”

“No,” Banner muttered. “That’s the thing, Tony. I’ve been stuck as the Hulk for two years. The entire time.”

Stark’s face went slack, and he gaped for a bit. “Wha- the entire time? There- how-”

“Yeah. He’s not bad, you know. Learned to talk,” Brunnhilde said.

“The Hulk learned to talk?” Banner squeaked.

“Yes. He’s not a bad storyteller. After he, ah, defeated me in the arena they brought me up to his room to get patched up. We got to talking. He told me about the Avengers.”

Banner leaned down to put his elbows on his legs. “Huh.”

“And- how did you get out, then?”

“Out of what?”

“The Hulk and the planet, I guess.”

Brunnhilde snorted. “Well, Hela kept needling at me to get me to leave Sakaar. I was in favor with the man in charge, the Grandmaster, and I had control over all of the prisoners, and she needed me to take the disk out of her neck before she could leave. It took her a while to convince me, but once she did, we went to the Quinjet to grab some supplies, and she got herself shot like an idiot.”

Hela rolled her eyes. “He would have shot you if I hadn’t shoved you down, stupid. Anyway, Hulk must have realized that Banner would be more useful in that situation and let him out. I was out of it at the time, so I’m not entirely sure-”

“Pretty much summed it up, Majesty. Hey, Stark, where do you keep your alcohol?”

“Third cabinet to the left.” ‘Rhodey’ spoke for the first time since they had started. “Alright. So she gets shot, Bruce comes out, he fixes her up, and you guys grab that other ship and hightail it out of there?”

“Pretty much,” Bruce shrugged. “Tony? What happened while I was gone.”

Stark sighed, and ran a hand over his face. “Ah. We, um- we had a bit of a falling out. Cap and I. It was- wow, it’s been a while. Let’s see, Maximoff blew up a building-”

“What?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t on purpose, she was trying to save Cap’s ass and the only place she could send the explosion was up. Into the building. But it made a lot of people mad, they drew up these Accords that basically put more control into the hands of the UN. I wanted to sign, Cap didn’t. We fought over it, and a lot of other things, and now he, Wilson, Nat, and Maximoff are all fugitives. Clint joined them too, but he managed to exchange no prison time to house arrest with his family.”

Oh. That was- unfortunate. She’d never considered the notion that the Avengers would break apart, but she supposed it made sense- no group of people could stay together without some argument. 

“So we- we broke up? Like a band? Like the Beatles?”

“Who?”

“You don’t know- oh, my god, there is so much pop culture you guys are gonna have to catch up on-”

“Tony, focus,” Potts sighed, placing a hand on his arm.

“Right. Ok. Um… How about this. I- should I call Cap? Maybe I should. Nat would probably- she’d like to know, right? And- I’ve been thinking about calling anyway, I kind of need to find Vision and he’d probably know where he is-”

“Wait, Tony, did you just say you need to find Vision? Did you lose him?”

Had there been a ‘Vision’ in Hulk’s tales? She couldn’t remember.

“Ah.” Stark rubbed the back of his neck. “Not exactly. He just- turned off his locator. So I don’t know where he is, but I know he’s probably with Maximoff, cause they’ve got their weird- thing. It’s complicated.”

Banner seemed at a loss for words. “Anyway. Yeah. I’ll- I’ll think about calling Cap. And you three go take some showers and change, seriously, you’re, like- did you actually crawl around in trash? Cause it really looks like you crawled around in trash.”

Hela scowled. “Sakaar, unfortunately, has considerable amounts of trash on it, yes.”

“Ah. That explains it. I’ll, um- hey, Fri? Where can we put them for now?”

Hela jumped as a mechanical voice coming from the ceiling said, “There are the rooms across the hall from Miss Maximoff’s old room.”

“Oh, right. And- Bruce, you already have a room, I set one up for you in case you came back, ask Friday and she can show you. Oh! Yeah, Friday’s the AI that runs all of my stuff, if you need anything just ask her and she’ll give you an answer. You know what? I’ll show you two where to go, Rhodey, could you help Bruce? Thanks, bud.”

Still feeling vaguely confused, Hela let Stark lead her out of the room.

-------------------

She breathed out a sigh of frustration, resisting the urge to stamp her foot on the ground. This was so infuriating!

“Friday?” She waited, wondering if the ceiling lady had been a practical joke of Starks.

“Yes, Miss?”

Oh, thank the Norns. “Ah. I- how- does this work.” Ugh. She hated asking for help. (She hated that, even now, she still thought it weak). 

“Would you like the water to be cold or hot?”

She considered the shower in front of her. “Hot.”

“Turn the knob on the right a little bit, then turn the knob on the left more. You should be able to test out the temperature by sticking your hand in.”

“I see. Thank you, strange ceiling lady.”

“My name is FRIDAY.”

“Right.”

Midgard truly was a strange place.

Despite herself, she found herself smiling a bit at the prospect of a new realm to explore.