It was a warm Sunday afternoon when it happened. I’d been sitting out on one of the Avengers HQ’s large balconies, re-reading one of my favorite novels, when I heard the glass door click open. I could sense his presence before I even lifted my head to glance up at the figure joining me on the balcony. It was Vision. I was thankful he hadn’t just phased himself through the glass, as he often used to. We’d only been living at Avenger’s HQ together for a couple of months now since I’d been recruited to help Tony with his work and since Vision had been, well, born. It was certainly an unusual circumstance, living with a fully formed synthezoid who had infinite amounts of intelligence yet was still learning about social norms and human interaction, seeing as he had only been born about 6 months ago. I spent more time with Vision than almost anybody else at HQ, considering only a couple of us lived here full time and almost everyone else was usually away, either on missions or on business (or pleasure, if your name happens to be Tony Stark.) I’d had my work cut out for me teaching Vision about what it was like to be human, but honestly, it wasn’t all bad. Sure, there were those awkward times when he’d phased through my bedroom wall when I was getting changed or when I had to answer his questions about the types of noises Tony made on the occasion that he brought a date home, but more often than not we had a lot of insightful conversations about life and emotions and the world around us. We’d discuss morals and etiquette and have debates on why certain things are the way they are. Over time I’d grown incredibly fond of Vision and his constant presence in my life.
Unfortunately though, I wasn’t sure he would ever feel the same way about me as I did him. I wasn’t sure if it was even possible for him to feel those kinds of emotions in the first place given his programing, and even if he could the chances that he’d feel them for me out of the seven billion people on this earth seemed slim. I’d decided long ago to do my best to contain and suppress how I felt, and for the most part it was working. Today however, was not one of those days, I noted as I glanced up at him from my book. The sunlight was glimmering off his red skin and making his bright blue eyes illuminate like never before.
“(Y/N), I’ve been doing some thinking today and I have a question for you.” He stated. This was nothing unusual; several times a day he would approach me in a similar fashion and inquire about whatever he had been pondering lately.
“Whats up, Vis?” I asked, setting my book down on my chair and rising to meet him near the balcony railing. I could’ve sworn I saw the corners of his mouth turn upwards at the sound of my nickname for him.
“What does love feel like?” He asked bluntly. I was taken aback for a moment, and felt at a loss for words. I had no idea how to answer such a question. Even though I had felt love before I’d never really stopped to consider how to put the feeling into words.
“Uh, well, it’s kind of hard to explain. It’s a pretty complex thing. But also very simple. That’s what makes describing it so difficult. And more so than that, everyone feels it differently.” I directed my gaze down to my hands and noticed I’d been absentmindedly fidgeting with my fingers.
“Could you try to describe how you feel it then?” Vision asked, as I looked back up at him. I honestly felt rather exposed in that moment. Vis was excellent at reading people, and could tell wheat I was feeling before I did. I didn’t want him to sense any hesitation now as I practically bared my soul to him explaining how I felt love. I shook the thought away and began.
“For me, it feels like electricity. Like every inch of my body is a live wire. Every touch sends sparks flying. And it feels powerful, too. Like I’d risk anything to make sure they’re okay, to make sure they’re happy. Like I couldn’t live without them. Like I need them to breathe. It feels scary and beautiful and warm and precious and electric. But it also feels peaceful. When I’m with them I feel fully content, and completely at peace. Like I could spend the rest of my life in their presence not doing anything at all and I’d be happy.” I said, eyes locked with his. As I’d spoken I’d realized something; the fondness I felt for Vision wasn’t just platonic. To me, he wasn’t just a friend or roommate or colleague. I realized that the love that I described was exactly how I felt for him. When I was with him, I felt lit up from within. I felt like my heart was on fire and my skin sparked whenever he touched me. I felt nervous and excited and content all at once in his presence. I could tell my cheeks were burning and turned away, praying he’d somehow missed the change in the color of my face. But he didn’t.
“Why do I sense that you’re ashamed of how you feel love?’ He inquired, tilting his head.
“I’m not, not really at least. It’s just not something I talk about often. I guess I just feel a little vulnerable right now.” I replied, head still turned away. I willed my cheeks to return to their usual color and for my heartbeat to slow down.
“Well, my research indicates that it may be helpful if I share a vulnerable piece of myself as well then, so you are not alone in your vulnerability.” He stated, and I turned back to him with a confused look on my face. What the hell could he possibly be talking about?
“(Y/N), I believe based on what you have just described that I may be in love.” It was all I could do to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor. Love? He was in love? How was that possible? And more importantly, who was he in love with? There was no way it could be me, I mean, he certainly wouldn’t ask me for advice on love if I was the object of his affections. I felt my eyes well up with tears as I realized the pain that was beginning to fill my chest. I quickly turned away and faced my back to him. I didn’t want him to think what he’d told me made me upset. I knew the proper thing to do was support him and encourage him, as hard as that may be. He’d become one of my closest friends in the past few months and I knew if the roles were reversed I’d want him to support me. I did my best to keep my voice from cracking and breaking as I muttered out a weak, “That’s wonderful Vis, I’m so happy for you”. I felt my heart starting to break a little bit. After all this time of trying to make sense of how I felt towards him, of course as soon as I realized that I was in love with him my world would get shattered. Of course he’d be in love with someone else. Of course it wouldn’t be me.
“You say that you are happy, but the tone of your voice and your physical actions say otherwise.” Damn him for being so skilled at reading me. “Why are you sad, (Y/N)?”
I wiped the tears from my eyes and slowly turned back around to face him.
“I am truly happy for you Vis, I’m just sad for myself. You see, I too, love somebody. But I know that they do not love me back. They love someone else.”
“How do you know?”
“Because they just told me.” I replied, and spun back around, heading for the door. The once comforting warm evening air had become muggy and overwhelming and I certainly had no desire to be anywhere near Vision after my confession.
“Wait, (Y/N),” He started, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to face him. “I haven’t told you yet who it is that I love.”
“Vis, I just don’t think I can bear to hear it right n-“
“It’s you,” He said, cutting me off. I looked up at him, my face a mixture of shock and awe. “You are the one I love. You make me feel all those beautiful things you described; the warmth and electricity and calm and contentment. But most of all, you make me feel alive.”
My eyes searched his to make sure he was being sincere (although let’s be honest, Vision was the last person I’d expect to lie about something like this. He was basically programed to be honest) before my mouth formed a smile so wide I could practically feel the corners of my mouth touch my ears.
“Vision, do you know what humans do when they’re in love?” I asked.
“No, what do they do?” He replied with a bewildered look on his face.
“They do this.” I said, stepping forward and placing my hands gently on the sides of his face before leaning in and filling the space between us. His lips were surprisingly soft and warm, and incredibly human-like. Despite never having kissed anyone before, Vis was incredibly skilled at the way he moved his lips against mine, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in as tight as he could. I, in turn, wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. Sparks flew.
I was so consumed with our little make-out session that I didn’t notice our feet had left the floor until we were hovering about a foot in the air. I broke the kiss briefly to look down and confirm that yes, we were levitating together above the balcony.
“Vis, look! We’re floating!” I laughed before meeting his gaze once again.
“Indeed we are,” He smiled, “I do believe this may be what synthezoids do when they are in love.” I laughed again as I leaned back in and connected our lips once again.