“Hey, dad!” Peter yells, running down the stairs.
Tony looks up. “What.”
“When I get murdered, make sure it isn’t solved,” Peter says, dead serious.
Steve chokes on his coffee.
Sam pats him on the back to help relieve the omega of his coughing fit.
Tony is confused. “Why?”
“I wanna be on buzzfeed unsolved,” Peter says, vibrating from excitement.
“Hold on,” Bucky says. “Can we go back to the part where he says when he gets murdered?”
“Scheduled murder? I raised you better than this,” Sam tsks.
Steve slams his hand down on the table, the wood snapping in half. “That’s because you didn't raise him! Peter Benjamin Stark, I swear to god, if you schedule your own murder, I will drag you back from the dead to kill you myself.”
Everyone is dead silent.
Bucky pretends to be interested in his shoes while Tony drinks his coffee.
Sam whistles and looks away from Peter.
“If you brought me back to life,” Peter says slowly.
And Steve knows what he’s going to say. “Peter, don’t-”
“That would definitely make buzzfeed unsolved.”
“PETER!”