Optimism
Steve stepped back into the doctors's meeting room. The four were back at the table, typing up their summaries and interpretations of their first meeting with Mr Barnes on their tablets. He rubbed the back of his head as he walked over to Bailey by the window. She was fixing her silver lightening strike clip that held back her streak of white hair.
"I think that went as well as expected. Of course he is going to be defensive and on edge." Bailey said as he stood beside her.
"He's gonna do great Bailey, I just know it, once he's in the swing of things.." he let his sentence drift off as he took in the pitiful look on her face.
"Your optimism is my favourite thing about you Cap, and I never want you to lose that."
"But." He presumed.
"But, he's got decades of abuse buried deep in his mind. This is going to be a long and painful process. If I can even do it ."
Steve bit the skin on his thumb nervously waiting for his psychiatrist to continue.
"I promise you I'll do my absolute best, but I couldn't even get a feel of him. At all. He's very closed off."
"I thought you had to touch someone knew to know their thoughts and feelings?" He said.
Bailey laughed lightly, "I didn't mean my powers, I meant my actual psychiatrist skills. You know the ones I went to college and actually studied for."
"Ah." Steve laughed lightly too.
"I worry about using them and touching him. From his files alone, I know the extent of abuse and pain he has suffered and it is more than anyone I have ever used them on. Like Wanda, that's why I refused to take the programme further with her. She's been through a lot too. I just don't know how I'd take it. And what we have on him is probably only the facts, not the emotions he has towards it all." Bailey worried.
"That's why I've got the gloves back on. I can't risk touching him as I don't know what it will do to me."
He sighed, "Professionally you've got to do what's best for him and personally what's best for you."
"That I can promise." She smiled.
Steve left for home for the night and one by one Bailey's team clocked off leaving just her in the meeting room. She scrolled through document after document, missions The Winter Soldier had completed, and experiences and interpretations members of the Avengers have had with Barnes. She needed to analyse it all, at this point she knew The Winter Soldier very well. It was James Buchanan Barnes she needed to know.
She sighed as she read the final lines of Steve's hand written report on his best friend. Barnes meant to world to him, and he was one mighty challenge. She didn't want to let either of them down.
Bailey rose from the table and headed for the door. She pressed the top button on the keypad to speak, "Hi Mr Barnes, it's Dr Johnson. May I come in?"
There was a long silence before a blunt, "Yeah."
Bailey entered the code and the door opened. Barnes was sat at the kitchen island with a finished plate in front of him and the manual that explained pretty much everything within the apartment. He must have worked out the dumbwaiter.
She nodded to an accompanying chair at the counter, Barnes tilted his head in a single nod for yes. Bailey took her seat.
"I thought I'd come by for an informal visit to see how you are. It must have been quite overwhelming with all those people and being brought to somewhere like this." Dr Johnson began.
Barnes didn't respond. He just stared, she noticed him noticing her gloves.
She continued, retracting her hands to under the table, "I just wanted to pop by and give you the chance to ask any questions about anything, before we officially start tomorrow where I will explain all in more detail."
The words rushed out of this mouth, "I don't want any drugs. I won't take them."
Dr Johnson smiled, "You don't have to worry about that. I told Director Michaels drugs was not an option."
Barnes' shoulders relaxed, "Is that what he wanted?"
"Yes, we managed to make a deal. No drugs, but guns as a precautionary." Bailey nodded to the camera in the corner of the kitchen.
"He seems keen to keep you protected, although he doesn't seem to like you much."
Dr Johnson noted how observant Barnes had been with her short interaction with the Director.
She laughed lightly, "On a professional level, I do my job and I do it well. I advocate for what I believe is right, which isn't always the same as what he believes is right. On a personal level, let's just say I wouldn't invite him to my birthday party. We are two strong personalities I would say."
"Shouldn't you have clocked off by now?"
"This job doesn't exactly have set hours. I've got to stop by Michaels' floor. Where Michaels and I have made a deal, he's going to make me suffer for it and by suffer I mean have regular meetings with him."
Barnes almost laughed, it was more of a retort as he exhaled sharply from his nose.
Dr Johnson nodded to the manual, "Have you read through it yet?"
"It's not exactly the most exciting book I've ever read, that and I don't think I have the attention span for reading anymore."
"It'll all come back to you. Were you an avid reader before?"
"I thought you said we started tomorrow." He was half serious, half joking.
Bailey laughed a little nervously, "I'll save the questions till tomorrow then."
She got up from the counter and reached for Barnes' empty plate, he leaned back out of the way defensively. He watched her gather his cutlery and take it to the sink to wash it.
"I thought you were a doctor, not a waitress."
Dr Johnson was trying to stick around longer in the presence of Barnes, getting the jump on the big task he presented her with. He seemed to be a lot chattier than he was earlier in the day and she wanted to take advantage of that. That and she wanted him to be taken care of to a certain degree after being mistreated for so long.
She took off her gloves and washed down the plate, "Once upon a time I was."
Barnes inspected Bailey's hands, he thought they could have been scarred or burned but he took in her flawless porcelain fingers, "I think I was too."
"Tables?" She asked absentmindedly.
"Pot washer." He stated. He was confused as to why the gloves were necessary, he guessed they were more than a fashion statement.
"Ah, bottom of the food chain." She said as she dried her hands and put her gloves back on.
She went back around to the chair and tucked it in, she nodded to the manual again.
"If you don't get to finish it and have a question I'm a phone call away." Dr Johnson stepped over to a landline on the wall, "Lift the phone off the hook, press the hash key and then number 1. I am first on your speed dial."
"And only." Barnes said sadly.
Dr Johnson was stood outside of the door ready to leave, "Steve is number two. Just a couple of buttons away." She smiled as the door opened for her.
The door closed.
"Thank you." Barnes said to no one.
—
Dr Johnson arrived to the Director's floor. The floor was dedicated to him, he had his own receptionist and waiting area.
"Director Michaels will see you now," said the young receptionist.
Bailey knocked at his door at the end of the corridor and waited patiently.
"Come in."
"Sir," she said and nodded a little as she entered.
"Take a seat Dr Johnson." Director Michaels was sat behind a large desk with one screen on his right, one on his left, and a plaque in the middle that read Director Michael Michaels.
Bailey wanted to laugh every time she read his name, surely he felt silly with it, she thought.
"Status report on The Winter Soldier." He requested.
Bailey was irritated by the lack of please and thank you, but kept that below her surface.
"Mr Barnes appeared incredibly nervous upon our first meeting, I imagine the intimidating circumstances he was in such as the new people he was meeting, the amount of people in the room, and the fact he was surrounded by armed guards played a part in that. Off the record, I had a conversation with him before I arrived here and he seemed hesitant, and on edge, yet participated in conversation and even revealed information about his past before he was the Winter Soldier."
"Explain hesitant and on edge."
"He isn't one for eye contact as of yet, it's as if he's using them to take in his full surroundings rather than having them on one thing in particular. I suspect this is now engrained into his nature as a Soldier and weapon to be on high alert at all times. I think he has to be suspicious of us, as we are just another agency wanting to control him."
"What is on the agenda for your first session? Are the gloves coming off for contact?"
"No sir. The gloves will not be coming off with Mr Barnes. Captain, Natasha, Tony, yes. But unfortunately Barnes is in the same category as Wanda. I believe making physical contact with Mr Barnes for a psychological assessment will greatly affect my own mental strength."
Director Michaels was visibly irritated. This is not what he wanted.
Dr Johnson defended herself, "I believe he has simply been through too much, his trauma will overwhelm me. Where I can touch to feel his emotions and know his thoughts to progress the treatment, I believe if Barnes does the work himself by opening up rather than being forced to, it will be much more effective and long lasting."
"And how long will this take?" He pressed.
"As long as he needs."
Michaels tutted, he span around in his chair to stand up. He tweaked one of his photo frames on the shelf, "We don't have all the time in the world Johnson. You need to be prepared for the contact programme. We may need you to be at the point you are with Rogers."
Bailey gulped, "It takes a lot of training and concentration to not actively take in Steve. It's a constant stream of thought and it takes so much in the beginning to manage. We're only at this point where I can switch it on and off because I've known him for so long now."
The Director still wasn't looking at Bailey, she continued to explain. "Even if I could manage only one physical assessment with Barnes, I'm not sure I could do as many with him as I have with Steve sir. His trauma will bare a lot on my mind."
He sighed, placed his hands in his pockets, then turned on his heels to face her, "Ideally we need to know what he's thinking at all times to keep track of him. We need absolute assurance he's on our side.
"You're asking me to be his mental translator here Director."
"I know what I'm asking." He almost snapped at her, "At the end of the programme, I need to know he is 100% with us before he is released."
Dr Johnson rose from her seat, she had had enough. "You need to trust my programme, and you need to trust him."
"You need to ensure you're mentally strong for the task Johnson. Or I will find someone else." The Director spat back.