On Our Way To Nowhere

Tony hated how comfortable they had gotten. 

After Peter blew up the submarine, Ben didn’t seem upset, in fact, he seemed more than happy that Peter was going to be staying with them. Ben even gave him and Peter a house where they spent the past month in. 

It felt like he had given up. Tony hated the feeling he got whenever he really thought about their life now. 

They were living in a house with beds, a bathroom, a kitchen and even a living room. It was too civilized and although Tony was glad to not be giving Peter baths in the ocean anymore, he hated that Peter had accepted the fact that they might never leave the island. 

Part of Tony was still waiting for Peter to get sick. 

He knew, hoped, it wasn’t going to happen but Peter was the only kid on the island because they all died. Tony didn’t know what made Peter so special but he wanted them to leave and go home. 

That didn’t look like it was going to happen any time soon. 

Tony stared at the calendar in the living room. 

It was August 10th. 

It was Peter’s birthday today. 

He had nothing to give him. He was turning nine and Tony completely lost track of the days so he didn’t even know it was Peter’s birthday until a few days ago. He couldn’t go to the store to buy him anything so Peter was going to get nothing for his ninth birthday and Tony felt like a failure of a father. 

He wondered what Pepper was doing. He hadn’t spoken to her since that one day over a month ago. She was probably thinking they were dead again. 

She was probably going to spend the whole day mourning them, Tony didn’t blame her. Peter was her kid too, even if he wasn’t hers biologically, he was hers in every other way. 

Tony heard a knock on the door so he wiped at his face and opened it up, seeing Steve there and holding a box of cake mix in his hands. “Oh my god. Thank you so much, Steve.” Tony took it from him, looking the box over. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I can’t even… I can't even get my kid anything for his birthday.” 

“Of course. Is he awake yet?” Steve asked, walking into the house when Tony led him in. 

“Uh, no. I’m letting him sleep in but he should be awake soon anyways.” Tony walked into the kitchen to place the cake box there. He made a happy birthday sign when Peter went to bed last night and was lucky enough to get his hands on two balloons. 

Steve looked hesitant about something so Tony leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. “What’s up, Steve?” 

Steve ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Nothing. I’ll be back to tell Peter happy birthday later-” 

“Wait.” Tony followed him so he couldn’t leave. He tried to ask Steve why he was willing to risk everything and leave on the submarine with Peter but every time Steve tried to change the subject so Tony dropped it. 

He knew whatever got Steve like this now had something to do with that. “Why were you going to get on the submarine with Peter? Even though your wife and sons' bodies are on this island.” 

“I um… I told you. I owed it to both you and Peter.” Steve repeated the same thing he would say every time Tony asked him. 

“No you didn’t. We didn’t do anything for you. You got us here and then you were willing to leave just so my kid could.” Tony said. “Why?” 

Steve turned to face Tony. “Because it was my fault Peter was kidnapped in the first place.” 

Tony stared at him, trying to process what Steve was saying. He didn’t know how that was even possible but he was ready to punch Steve in the face if that were true. “What did you just say?” 

“Tony,” Steve said desperately. “My wife’s name was Mary. You told me that a woman named Mary led Peter to the boat that got him kidnapped by Hydra.” 

“Your wife is dead. You told me your wife died.” Tony didn’t know what to believe. He trusted Steve after everything he did for them but that also didn’t mean he knew everything there was to know about the man. 

Steve nodded, he looked perplexed for words. “She did. It’s… difficult to explain.” 

“Try anyways.” 

“There’s people on this island… they whisper in the jungle.” Steve began, Tony was already lost. “Only kids can see and hear them. Before they’re about to die. The whispers are of the people that have died but haven’t moved on, they stay back to warn the living of danger and can also manipulate them.” With a sigh, Steve continued. “My wife led your son to that boat in hopes that he would die and our son would come back to her.” 

Tony remembered when they first landed, within those first weeks on the island and how Peter kept insisting he heard people whispering in the jungle and how he kept seeing a woman named Mary. It was all making sense now. 

“Why can only kids see and hear them? Would it have brought your son back? If…” He couldn’t say it. 

“No. My son died a long time ago. I came to accept that I won’t see him until I die.” Steve said with no emotion. “And I don’t know. Ben does. He knows secrets about this island that not everybody knows or can even understand.” 

Tony sat down on the sofa, trying to take in everything Steve was saying to him. “How do you know that’s true? How do you know it was your wife and that’s the reason she was doing it?” 

Steve sat on the couch opposite Tony. “I just know, Tony, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry Peter was taken from you.” 

“I don’t blame you, Steve.” Tony didn't blame the man one bit. Everything that happened, good or bad, led them to this moment and everyday was hopefully a day closer to going home. 

“Yeah well,” Steve still blamed himself. He stood up and placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you and Peter later.” 

Tony watched him leave and tried to process everything Steve said but it didn’t take long for there to be someone else at the door. Tony knew it wasn’t Steve again so his next guess was May but it wasn’t her either. 

“Ben? Uh, why are you here?” Tony asked, not used to Ben coming to their house very often. Especially this early in the morning. 

“It’s Peter’s birthday. I know our situation doesn’t exactly allow you to go to the store and buy him a present so I brought you one to give to him.” Ben held up a tracker car in the box still. “It’s from you to him. Tell him I said happy birthday.” 

“Thank you.” Tony felt like he was the child on his birthday. He looked at the toy and couldn’t get the smile off his face. Now he just had to wait until Peter woke up. 

That didn’t take very long. Tony heard tiny footsteps making its way down the hallway so he walked over to stand at the end of it, waiting to pull Peter into his arms. “Happy birthday, Peter.” Tony picked Peter up and spun him around, kissing his face all over. “Where did my little baby boy go? You’re nine already.” 

Peter grinned. “Yeah. I’m a big boy now.” Peter kicked his legs to be put down and jumped up and down at the sight of the gifts on the table for him. “Is that for me, daddy?!” 

Tony picked him up to sit him on the counter. “Yeah! Open your present first and then we can bake a cake.” 

Peter excitedly sat up on his knees and ripped open the packaging, a huge smile breaking out across his face at seeing what it was. “Cool! Woah, this is awesome! Thank you, daddy! I love it.” 

It wasn’t much but Peter’s reaction to it was everything to Tony. “You’re welcome, baby. Happy birthday. We’re gonna have such a fun day together today. It’s all about you.” 

Tony got started on breakfast while Peter played in the living room with his new toy. Tony was happy, he really was but they were missing someone and that person was Pepper. It wasn’t the same without her, nothing was the same without all of them together. 

He wasn’t even sure if she knew they were still alive or not. He wished he could tell her. He really wished he could but he asked multiple times for Ben to take him out to the station and he refused each time. 

Tony looked over at Peter. He was glad that his kid was happy, that was all that mattered to Tony today so he wanted to make the best of it. 

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The day came and went. 

So did the next two weeks. 

Tony was losing track of time. Him and Peter had the same routine that they did everyday. They woke up, ate breakfast, went for a walk, played, had lunch, played outside some more, ate dinner, bath time and bedtime. It was the same thing everyday and Tony had mixed feelings about their routine. 

He liked it because he knew it was important for children to have routines but he hated that they had one. They should be going home and having a routine there. Not on the island. 

So today, Tony was alarmed when their routine changed. 

He took Peter’s hand and walked over to May, after having seen a bunch of Hydra security men run towards the docks. “May, what’s going on? Where are they going?” 

“A submarine is bringing some new people to the island.” She simply told him then ran towards the dock. 

Tony felt like he couldn’t breathe for a second. The submarine was back. He could get Peter and himself off the island. 

“What’s going on, daddy?” Peter looked around at everyone running around and all the commotion scared him a bit so he stepped closer to Tony. 

“A submarine is here.” Tony was excited about that. He started walking, pulling Peter along to go find Ben when he saw a group of new faces walking into the Barracks. He looked at each one of them but then his eyes landed on a little boy and his heart fell. “No. No, what’s he doing here? No.” 

Tony ran towards the group and pointed towards the submarine. “You have to leave now. Get him off the island. He’ll die, he’s gonna die here.” 

“Tony, come with me. Come.” Ben calmly grabbed him away but Tony felt sick. Another parent was going to have to watch their son die. He picked Peter up and smelt his hair, trying to calm down. 

“You’re a murderer. You brought that boy here to die, Ben.” Tony blamed him but Ben shut him down. 

“No I did not. I did not bring that boy here to die and I am not a murderer, Tony. I am trying to save the life of every future child that comes to this island and these,” He gestured to the group of people. “are the sacrifices I have to make. For a better future.” 

Tony walked away from him. He wasn’t going to listen to that. He didn’t care. He carried Peter inside their house and sat on the couch, holding Peter on his lap still. 

Peter wiggled a bit, wanting to be put down. “Daddy? You’re squeezing me too hard. What’s wrong? Are you sad, daddy?” 

Tony shook his head, not letting Peter go. “No. No. I’m not. I’m just glad you’re okay but we have to go home, baby. We have to. We can’t stay here anymore.” 

Peter looked at him, reaching out with his small hand to wipe at Tony’s face. “If you come with me, we can go on the submarine. I’m not leaving without you. I won’t go.” 

“I know. I know, we'll leave together.” Tony didn’t want to be without Peter. He wasn’t going to do it. 

Now he just needed to find Ben and talk to him. 

He lifted Peter off of him and stood up to go outside and find him but instead of finding Ben, he found the boy that came on the sub. Tony saw Peter’s eyes light up at the sight of another little boy and it made Tony realize just how long it’s been since Peter had seen a kid his age. Way too long. 

“Can I play with him, daddy?” Peter tugged on his hand to ask. 

Tony didn’t want to say no. “Yeah, go ahead.” He would just have to talk to Ben later. 

Peter ran over to the boy. “Hi. I’m Peter and I’m nine. What’s your name?” 

The boy was playing in the sandbox that always remained empty, only ever used by Peter and Tony always saw all the stares when he took Peter out of their house. It was like they still weren’t used to seeing a kid on the island, or like they were waiting for Peter to get sick and die. 

Tony sat back and watched them. The boys’ parents weren’t around. 

“I’m Charlie. I’m eight. Have you been on this island your whole life?” 

Peter sat down in the sand, starting to dig a hole. “No. Me and my daddy crashed like… maybe some months ago. We came in an airplane and now we’re stuck here.” 

Charlie gasped. “Woah. But it’s so cool here. My parents said we’re gonna stay here for a while.” 

“Are your parents divorced or still married? My dad is my real dad but Pepper isn’t my real mom.” Peter said, not like it was anyone’s business anyways. 

“Cool. I don’t know what that word means.” 

“Divorced?” Asked Peter. Charlie nodded. “Oh. I don’t know. Did you bring chocolate? I really want some.” 

Charlie started giggling and then suddenly, out of nowhere, he stopped. He stood up on wobbly legs and stumbled a bit. “I-I don’t feel so good.” 

Peter jumped to his feet, panicked. “Daddy! Daddy, help!” 

Tony ran over to them and caught the boy just as he fell. He had blood dripping out of his nose and ears. Tony picked him up and ran to the MedBay. “Help! Help! Somebody help! Oh my god.” 

The room was already set up. The two doctors took the boy from Tony’s arms and placed him on the table. A scream was heard from behind him and then two people pushed past him and over to the boy, sobbing as they looked down at him. Tony knew it was the boys’ parents. He didn’t know why this was happening now. It was supposed to happen three days from now, not today. 

He didn’t want to watch it. He felt incredibly sick. Was that what was supposed to happen to Peter? Tony turned around and saw Peter standing there, staring at the boy with tears streaming down his face. 

Tony picked him up and walked out of the room. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” He didn’t know who he was trying to reassure. 

Peter clung onto him. “He’s gonna die, daddy! They all die!” 

Tony knew what was going to happen. 

He walked into their house and slammed the door behind him, walking into the bedroom and laying down, holding Peter close. Peter moved even closer to him and whimpered. “Why-why did he do that?” 

Tony caressed his hair. “No one knows why. It just happens to kids here.” 

“Why not me?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Peter moved closer to his dad. “Is Charlie gonna die, daddy?” 

“Yeah, buddy. I think so.” Tony whispered. Peter knew what happened on the island, he didn’t want to hide Peter from all of that. It wasn’t fair to him even if it was extremely hard to process. 

Tony wanted to get Peter out of there. This was all the more reason why Peter didn’t belong on the island. 

He held Peter while he slept, holding him close because he was scared of letting him go. Tony was about to fall asleep himself but there was a knock on the door so he carefully moved himself away from Peter and opened it, finding Ben there. 

“Did the boy die?” 

Ben looked down briefly. “Yes. Yes, he died.” He said it all too calmly. Tony knew Ben expected it. 

Tony sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why did you bring him here, Ben? You knew he was going to die. Why? And why now? You said kids had more time. You said it happens after three days.” 

“Because I thought it’d be different now with you and Peter here but apparently not.” Ben looked just as confused as Tony did. “I don’t know. I think it has something to do with Peter.” 

“How many kids have to die before you decide to stop?” 

“As many as it takes.” He insisted. 

Tony looked at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Ben. Let us go home on the submarine. It’s here, you have one, just let us go home. Peter doesn’t belong here. He can’t grow up here.” 

Ben didn’t look happy but Tony didn’t care. “We’ve been over this, Peter is too important.” He said and then turned to leave. “Have a good night, Tony.” 

As Tony watched him leave, he fought the urge to chase after him and beat him senseless. That man was responsible for keeping them on the island and had the blood on his hands of all the children that had died on the island. 

He didn’t want Peter’s blood on his hands as well. 

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“Daddy! Watch me!” Peter called out to get his dad’s attention. 

“I’m watching!” 

Peter made sure he had his dad's eyes on him and then he did a somersault in the sand, giggling after he landed in his bum. “Did you see?”  

“I saw, Pete. Be careful though.” Tony warned him then looked up and saw Ben walking towards him. He looked away and sighed, not wanting to talk to the man after yesterday. Not that he ever wanted to talk to the man anyways. 

Ben took a seat next to Peter in the sand so Tony stood up to walk closer to them to see what Ben was going to say to Peter. 

“Are you having fun, Peter?” Ben asked, Peter nodded, looking reluctantly at Ben. “How would you like to get off this island? Sound good?” 

Peter wasn’t sure what to say or how to act but Tony kneeled down to make sure Ben was actually being serious. “What are you saying?” 

Ben looked to Tony. “I’m letting you guys leave.” 

Tony didn’t believe him. He didn’t understand. “What? Why? Are you being serious, Ben?” 

Ben stood up and brushed his pants off so Tony stood up as well. “I’m not a liar, Tony. Our work here seems to be over. We don’t need you guys to stay if you don’t want to. Although I don’t want to see you go, you’ve given us more than we could have asked for.” 

“Both of us? Are you saying both of us can leave?” 

“Yes, Tony. The submarine leaves first thing tomorrow morning. It’ll bring you into Tahiti where a plane will be waiting to take you home.” Ben held his hand out for Tony to shake. 

“Thank you, Ben.” Tony couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He looked down at Peter who was looking up at them extremely confused so he picked Peter up, still not believing it was real. 

“We’re going home, baby. We’re gonna go home.”