On Our Way To Nowhere

Tony tried to refrain from punching Ben but he wanted to hear what he had to say. 

“Sorry for taking your son from you but we didn’t have any other choice once we found out there was a kid on the boat.” Ben stated. 

Tony didn’t know if he believed him. He wasn’t going to believe a word this man said to him. “How did you even know? We were on the island for a month before we went out on the boat.” 

Ben walked along the path, getting further and further away from the house Peter was in so Tony reached out to grab his arm. “Hey, stop. Where are you taking me? You said you wanted to talk. Not go on a tour of the little village you got going on here.” 

“Can I have my arm back?” Ben asked, looking at the hand Tony had on him. 

Tony let go, looking at Ben confused. 

“We didn’t know you had a kid. We got an alert that a boat passed through the monitors we have surrounding this island in the ocean so I sent my guys out to investigate.” Ben simply explained. “Then they saw Peter so they took him and brought him back here to us.” 

“My son told me you guys took his blood and asked him all these questions. What else did you do to him?” Tony wanted to know. He couldn’t imagine them just taking blood and asking questions. 

Ben turned around to face away from Tony so Tony followed his eyes in the direction he was facing but he didn’t see anything but trees. “Children die on this island. I’m sure you know that fact by now. But… we don’t know why,” He paused and turned back to face Tony. “all we know is that every single child that comes onto this island dies within a few days, that is, until Peter.” 

“Why?” 

“Why what?” 

Tony threw his arms up, annoyed at the conversation. “Why is Peter different? Why is he okay and the other kids weren’t?” 

Ben looked down. “I don’t know. We don’t know but that’s what we want to find out. Peter could be our breakthrough.” 

“Fuck that. Fuck you.” There was no way Tony was going to let his eight year old son be an experiment. No way in hell. 

“Then why did you bring him back here? Why come all this way? For what?” 

Tony ran his hand through his hair. “I came for the submarine! I need to get my kid off this island. He can’t grow up here.” 

Ben looked towards the house Peter was in. He was silent for a few seconds before speaking. “No.” 

“What do you mean no?!” 

“I said what I said. No. He’s too important and I’m not letting him off this island.” 

Tony grabbed Ben by the neck but not enough to choke him. “Then why did you take me out here?! What did you want to talk to me about?!” 

Ben struggled to get Tony off of him then gave up with a sigh. “Peter of course.” 

Tony let go of him roughly. “Why? Why do you want my kid so badly?! What the hell did you guys do to him?!” 

“We didn’t do anything other than what he already told you.” Ben insisted. “We aren’t monsters. We understand that he’s a child. We may lose our children only days after they’ve arrived and we may not have had a kid on the island in three years but we still know how to treat them.” 

Tony scuffed. “Oh yeah. Sure, is that why Steve said you guys are killers? Is that why they all left Hydra?” 

Ben snapped his head to look at Tony. “Steve doesn’t know what we do here any better than the rest of them.” 

“The rest of who?” 

“Of his group.” Ben answered. “Steve left Hydra because he believes what we are doing here is wrong but it’s for the greater good.” 

“I can imagine how hard it is for some people to be okay with that.” Tony sarcastically said. He turned back to look at the man. “I’m taking my kid off this island and we are going home.” 

Ben shook his head at him. “I can’t let you do that, Tony. He’s too important. You’re too important.” 

“My fiancé is probably thinking that we’re dead. It’s been two months. Maybe three, I don’t even know anymore.” Tony felt so defeated. He wanted to get back home to Pepper. “I need to take him home, Ben. Please. Let us get on the submarine.” 

Ben was silent for a long time. Tony thought he was going to walk away from him but he didn’t. 

“Alright. I want to show you something.” 

“No. Stop. You think I’m actually going to follow you.” Tony was so done. It was a mistake going there. 

Ben began walking into the jungle but Tony didn’t follow him so Ben turned around to look at him. “Aren’t you coming? I can guarantee that you’ll want to see this.” 

Tony looked back towards the house Peter was in. He didn’t want to leave him any longer than he already has. “Give me one reason I should. How do I know you aren’t going to bring me into the jungle to kill me?” 

Ben pulled the gun out from the back of his pants and flipped it over to hand it to Tony. “Here. You take it. Because I’m not a killer, Tony.” 

Tony hesitated but took the gun from Ben. He checked to see if there were bullets inside and there were so he put it in the back of his pants. “Where are we going?”

“We have a station that’s blocking all communications to and from the island. A lot of people are trying to find the island so we prevent them from doing that.” Ben explained to him, much like Steve had done before. 

“Why are you blocking communications? What’s so special about this island?” 

“I can’t tell you that but since we are the ones blocking it, we can also unblock it to communicate with people off the island and on the mainland.” Ben told him. 

Tony didn’t know if he believed it. “What? How?” 

“It’s better if I just show you.” 

Tony sceptically followed Ben through the jungle. He didn’t know what to expect or if he should even believe the man after everything he put him and Peter through. He couldn’t turn around now. 

When they got to the station, Tony was surprised to see it. What else was on the island that he didn’t know about? It was an old blue building with two cows and a horse out front. 

“Peter said he ate a hamburger…” Tony pointed to the cows for his unasked question to be answered. 

“That’s true. These are dairy cows though.” Ben told him as if he were an idiot. “Right this way.” 

Tony followed him into the building and looked around. It was one level but it was long. Off to the side were three monitors so Tony walked over to them. “Is this how you’re jamming the communications? From these little things?” 

“No. I didn’t say this was the station that was jamming it, I just said there’s a station.” 

“Then what are we doing here?” Tony looked around, fully prepared to take the gun out of his pants and aim it at Ben. 

Ben picked up a Motorola brick phone and handed it to Tony. “Call your fiancé and tell her you and Peter are alive.” 

Tony couldn’t believe it. He took the phone from Ben but hesitated. “Will it actually work? Can I call her?” 

“Yes. It’ll come up as an unknown number and she won’t be able to trace it,” Ben stated. “Given as you actually know her number.” 

Tony started dialing Pepper’s number, having no idea if it would actually work but it started ringing. His heart was beating impossibly fast in his chest and then someone picked up. 

“Hello?” 

Tony tried to speak but he had no voice. He was hearing Pepper’s voice for the first time in months. “Pepper? It’s me. It’s Tony.” 

Tony heard the phone drop on the other end and then a scream. “Oh god! Oh my god! Oh my god! I thought-I thought you died. Where’s Peter? Is he alive? Oh god, where’s Peter?” 

“He’s alive. He’s not with me right now but he’s alive. We’re okay, Pep. We’re alive.” Tony wanted to see her face and get to hold her again but he could do with this phone call. 

“Tony. Oh my god.” Pepper broke down and cried on the other end. “It’s been two and a half months. When you didn’t land… I thought… oh my god. I can’t believe you’re alive. Where-where are you?” 

Tony briefly looked at Ben. “We’re- we’re on an island. I-I don’t know where. I’m trying to get home but… it’s complicated, Pepper.” 

“Okay. Okay. I’ll um, I’ll call someone, um-” 

Tony cut her off. “No. You’re not going to be able to find us. There’s people on the island, they’re blocking the signals.” 

The phone started to go static and the connection was getting weaker. “I gotta go. I love you. I’m gonna try to get us home. I promise.” 

“I love you. Tell Peter I love him. I need-” 

The call ended and Tony never got to hear what Pepper had to say. He tried to dial her number again but a voice came back saying ‘call failed’ so he tried again. 

“It’s not going to work. We can only stop the jamming for three minutes at a time.” Ben told him. 

“So then give me another three minutes! C’mon!” He yelled. “I haven’t spoken to her in almost three months!” 

Ben shook his head. “You said all you needed to. So did she.” 

Tony slammed the phone down and rushed outside to get some air. He felt like he was going crazy. He wanted to go home. He wanted to get the hell off the island. It would be Peter’s birthday in a little over a month and Tony didn’t want him to celebrate his birthday on the island. He had nothing to give him. 

Ben appeared behind him. “Now do you believe me when I say that you cannot leave this island?” 

“Just stop.” Tony said, barely audible. 

“You cannot leave-” 

Tony snapped his head to look at him. “And I can’t raise my kid here! Let us go. We need to go home. Please, Ben. I’m begging you. Let us get on the submarine.” 

Ben looked remorseful. “Believe me when I tell you that I am sorry.” 

“No. No you’re not. You don’t give a fuck about how I feel.” Tony turned to walk away but quickly turned back to face Ben. “If you did, you wouldn’t have taken my kid off the boat and blown it up!” 

Tony turned to start walking back. He was going to get Peter and leave their campsite. It was a huge risk to come in the first place, they weren’t going to let him and Peter leave on the submarine. 

Ben walked a close distance behind him but he didn’t try to speak with him the whole way back. Tony was grateful for that since he wasn’t sure if he would be able to hold back. 

Once they made it back to the camp, Tony walked across the field and straight to the house he left Peter at. He opened the door, not even bothering to knock. 

When he walked in, he didn’t immediately see Peter on the carpet playing with his toys. He started to panic a bit but he heard dishes banging so he walked further into the small house and spotted Peter baking in the kitchen. 

The sight seemed to be so impractical at the moment. 

They were on an island, Tony was still trying to wrap his head around everything. 

“Hey.” 

Peter snapped his head to look at him, a huge smile on his face. He jumped off the chair he was standing on and ran over to Tony. “Daddy! You came back! We’re making cookies!” 

Tony lifted Peter up into his arms and wiped the batter off his face with his thumb. “Of course I came back to you, baby. What’re you making?” 

When Peter wiggled out of his arms, Tony set him on his feet and walked over to stand next to the chair. He looked over at May, grateful for her doing this with Peter to give him some sense of normalcy. 

“We’re making oatmeal cookies but without the raisins because there are none.” Peter giggled as he stuck his finger into the batter and licked it. He dipped it in again and stuck his finger out for Tony. “Try it.” 

“Thank you but I’m fine, Pete.” Tony held Peter against his side, feeling like they were back to old times when Peter used to pull up a chair to help him cook in the kitchen. Peter was at his height so it was the perfect opportunity for Tony to kiss the side of his face. 

There was a knock on the door which took a while for Tony to get used to. He hasn’t had a front door in months. 

He walked towards it and hesitated before opening it but it was only Steve. Tony had to admit, he was surprised to see him. Part of him thought that Steve went back to his campsite. 

“Tony, can we talk?” Steve asked, seeming extremely uncomfortable. 

“Uh,” Tony looked back at Peter, making eye contact with him. He looked back at Steve. “Yeah, just let me go tell Peter.” He walked back into the kitchen and pulled Peter against his chest. “I’m gonna go talk to Steve outside but I’ll be right back. Make me a super yummy cookie, okay?” 

Peter frowned but didn’t try to stop him from leaving. “Okay, daddy.” 

Tony had no idea what Steve wanted to talk to him about and it somewhat concerned him. There was a lot going on here that Tony didn’t understand. A lot of potential factors that could get him and Peter killed. “What is it?” 

Steve started walking so Tony followed him. “Ben told me he took you to one of their stations.” 

“Yeah, he let me talk to my fiancé. She thought we were dead, I mean, why wouldn’t she. It’s almost been three months.” 

“I made a deal with Ben.” Steve blurted out. 

Tony stopped walking and grabbed ahold of Steve’s arm. “What’s the deal you made with him?” 

“I’m sorry. It was the only way.” He looked away from Tony. “Hydra… they don’t negotiate. This is all that they will do-” 

“What’s the deal, Steve?” 

Steve sighed. “Ben will let Peter leave the island only if you stay here. And I go with Peter onto the submarine.” 

Tony couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He ran his hands through his hair and turned away from Steve to look back at May’s house. “No.” He shook his head and turned back at Steve. “No, there has to be another way. I’m not leaving Peter alone. You don’t even want to leave the island.” 

Steve looked incredibly sad when he spoke next. “I owe it to you and Peter. I owe it to you.” 

“Why does he want me to stay?” Tony felt sick. He couldn’t leave Peter but his main goal was to get Peter off the island safely and if this was the only option, he would do it. Pepper could raise Peter by herself. At least for a little while until Tony managed to find a way back home. 

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know. He didn’t tell me why. Maybe he thinks Peter isn’t the answer he’s been searching for but you are.” 

Tony nodded. He understood now. He would be their new experiment but it was better him than Peter. “What about you? What about your wife and your son? If you leave the island…” 

Steve didn’t say anything for a few long seconds, Tony thought he wasn’t going to answer but then Steve placed his arm on Tony’s shoulder. “If this gets your son off the island, then I’ll leave. At least one of our children deserves to live a happy life.” 

Tony still wasn’t okay with this but it had to work, this was the only option. He had to get Peter home. “When?” 

“Tomorrow morning.” 

Tony nodded, feeling completely numb. He had less than a day with Peter. 

He knew it had to happen. “Thank you. Thank you for everything, Steve.” 

Steve patted his back and left, leaving Tony standing there alone in his thoughts. Tony felt so incredibly sick. Like his heart was about to be ripped out of his chest and in a way, it was. Peter was going to be sent off the island. He was going to leave him and Tony wouldn’t be there to protect him anymore. 

Tony didn’t want Peter to grow up without a father. He didn’t want to do that to him. He didn’t want to send Peter home if he couldn’t go with him but he couldn’t… Tony groaned and ran his hands through his hair again, making it greasy and knotted. 

He was going to do it. If that was the deal then he would take it. 

All he had to do now was tell Peter. He didn’t know how that conversation was going to go. He owed it to Peter to give him the life he deserved, a life off the island. 

Before he walked into May’s house, he took a calming breath, not wanting to do this. 

He walked in and was immediately greeted by the small of hot cookies and his mouth watered. “Daddy!” Tony turned to look at Peter running towards him, his face was cleaned off so he assumed that May wiped it for him, knowing Peter wasn’t going to do it himself. 

Tony picked Peter up and forced a smile even though he was breaking inside. “Hi, Pete, did you have fun?” 

“Uh huh. I made cookies! Can I give you one now?” Peter asked, trying to wiggle out of his arms but Tony didn’t want to let him go, his time with Peter now was outnumbered. 

“Not right now. I wanna talk to you for a bit.” Tony told him, waiting for Peter’s reaction. He knew Peter never liked any kind of talks. 

Peter frowned. “Was I bad?” 

“No, baby, never. But daddy’s needs to talk to you about something important.” He placed Peter on his feet and grabbed a hold of his hand, about to take him outside to find somewhere private to talk to him but May walked towards them. 

“You guys take your time. I’ll be back later.” 

“Thanks.” Tony watched her leave, waiting until the door shut. He gently pulled Peter into the living room and sat down on the floor with him, not used to sitting on furniture just yet. 

“So, Peter,” He began. “Ben took me to this special building today and in the building there was a phone in that building,” 

Peter gasped. “Can we call for rescue now?” 

Tony slowly nodded. “Well, it doesn’t exactly work that way but I dialed Pepper's number and she picked up the phone and I was able to talk to her.” 

Peter gasped and jumped onto his knees. “Really?! What did she say? Is she coming to take us home, daddy?!” 

“No, baby. Remember I told you that she can’t come here?” Peter nodded, his smile falling. “I told her that we are okay and alive and that we’re trying to come home to her. She says that she loves you so much and that she misses you a lot.” 

“I miss her too.” Peter said sadly. “When can we go home, daddy?” 

This was going to be the hard part. Tony sighed. “Well, Ben is in charge of that and he says that you can go home on the submarine with Steve.” 

Peter tilted his head in confusion. “But-but what about you? Where will you go?” 

“I’m going to stay here.” 

Peter’s eyes immediately filled with tears and he shook his head aggressively, sitting up on his knees to be held. “Nooo. No, daddy. You have to come home with m-me! I don-I don’t wanna go home without you. Please, daddy. No.” 

Tony took Peter onto his lap and cradled him, trying to soak in the moment since he wasn’t going to be able to do it once Peter leaves. “I love you so much and I’ll always love you even when I’m not with you.” He rocked Peter a bit. “You have to go, Pepper will be there, waiting for you and she’s gonna take care of you like she always does.” 

Peter cried harder. “I want my daddy! I want you!” 

The fathers heart was breaking a little more with each word Peter cried out. He wished there was another way. “I know. I know, baby. We’ll be together one day again. I have to stay here so you can go.” 

“Please. No.” Peter turned and climbed up on his lap. “Daddy. Don’t let me go. I-I-I wanna stay here with y-you. If-if you can’t go, I can’t go.” 

“You’ll be okay-” 

“Not without you!” Peter screamed and weakly hit at his chest. “Please, don’t let me go.” 

Tony held Peter closer. He had to. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Peter.”