Obey, soldier.

The world around him had been fading in and out for quite some time now, his mind hazily drifting between wakefulness and the inky pool of exhaustion. Peaceful oblivion. Calm breaths. A low hum from the engine. The soft murmuring from across the cabin.

The. what?

Sam peered hazily through his eye, trying in vain to blink away the sleepy fog from his vision and keep his eye open. Hell, we’re safe in the sky, it's probably nothing. He let his eye fall back closed, fully prepared to surrender once more to blissful slumber when-

“No. no-”

There it was, slightly louder now, his eye cracked open again and that's when he saw him, hands now tugging at the short strands of hair, rocking in his chair and sweating heavily.

shit.

He unfolded himself from his seat, wincing as his back protested at the rapid movement, and stumbled over to the man opposite him, his heart tugging painfully as he watched his friend whine and shrink further in on himself.

He crouched in front of him, knees popping as he settled into position.

“Bucky?”

Nothing. Not a glimmer of recognition. The man continued to mutter to himself. Sam leaned forward, straining to make out what his friend was saying, hoping to gain some hint towards how he could pull Bucky out of the pit he had fallen into.

“No. please. I am James Bucky Barnes. I am no longer the Winter Soldier. My name- my name is James Buchanan Barnes. Please!-”

He barely registered when he had begun to cry, all he knew was one second he was looking at the top of his friends head, metal fingers tangled in hair, and the next his vision was swimming, his throat closing painfully. What the fuck was he doing? Watching as his friend unravelled at the seams, fighting his demons alone. Shit. He shook his head lightly, his mind was swimming with emotion and confusion, exhaustion pushed back but still very much present.

Heedlessly, Sam reached out to comfort the older man, his whole body screaming to soothe his friend’s pain and help fight away the unpleasant memories that were overwhelming him. He gently placed his hand onto Bucky’s right shoulder, hoping to provide at least a little comfort and ground him.

Before the stupidity of his action could even register, his arm had been twisted and pinned against the wall of the cabin in one swift movement, a sharp pain stabbing through it. Feral eyes met his, wide and unfocused, manic with fear.

SHIT.

Bucky's chest was heaving as his eyes darted around, clearly not seeing the same sleek interior as Sam. Sam's eyes flicked up to the sky in silent thanks that Bucky had simply pinned him and hasn't gone on the attack, because, while they may banter about who would win a fight between the two of them, Bucky currently had serum, vibranium and the power of surprise on his side and Sam was definitely not in the mood to gamble. The metal grip on his arm was shaking. Fuck. Bucky was shaking. Frozen still. Eyes wild and unfocused. And breaths coming out in stuttering bursts in between muttered protests.

“Shh Buck. It's okay. You're gonna be okay. You're not him anymore.”

Fuck what was it he said?

“You’re James Buchanan Barnes. My friend. You're not gonna hurt me.”

I am fucked if you hurt me.

“James. Look at me, can you do that?”

A glimmer of recognition flickered through bucky’s eyes. Oh thank fuck. I can work with that.

“James. You're okay. You’re safe. Please look at me buddy.”

Sam fought to keep his voice steady. He wasn't scared of Bucky, no matter how much of a badass he was at times. Scared bucky though? Bucky running on fight or flight? Yeah, forgive him if he was shitting it a little bit.

“C'mon man. Look at me”

Bucky’s eyes found his, still glassy, but much more focused than they had been before.

“There we go man! You got it. Okay. I need you to breathe with me, you think you can do that?”

He didn’t expect a reply, simply maintained eye contact, exaggerating his breaths. Slow and even. His own thumping heart slowing as he stood there, breathing deeply and looking into the unblinking tense eyes that looked back at him. Bucky was still shaking violently but his breathing had fallen into pace with Sam’s, his muttering becoming more infrequent as he clawed his way back to reality.

“That's it man. You’re doing great. Your name is James Bucky Barnes. You're my friend. You are no longer the winter soldier.”

Sam continued the litany of affirmations, continuing to repeat Bucky’s name in between his exaggerated breaths until slowly but surely he was the only one speaking.

He could see the exact moment that bucky snapped back into reality, his eyes finally clearing before flickering to Sam’s arm that was still firmly pinned against the wall and pulling his hand back like it burned.

The relief was instant and brought a groan to his lips as he brought his arm to his chest to relieve the ache. He looked back towards Bucky who was once again backed into a corner, eyes wide. Fuck.

“I hurt you. Oh my god I hurt you. I'm so sorry. Shit Sam, I'm so sorry. Im sor-”

Sam once again lowered himself in front of where Bucky was sat, bringing himself to his eye level and staring at him with such sincerity as he cut him off.

“Its fine”

“But I-”

“James, it's fine. No lasting damage. It's my fault for touching you dude. You're okay.”

He moved to touch him again, this time holding his hand above him and tilting his head in silent request, gently placing it on the other man’s forearm after receiving a shaky nod.
“Why aren't you scared of me? I just-”

“You just defended yourself. James you just had flashbacks and a panic attack, I wasn't thinking and I touched you, and that's on me okay? I'm not saying it was pleasant, because it definitely wasn't, but I don't blame you. And there's no lasting damage done, so you're fine. Now breathe with me man, I did not spend ages calming you down for you to freak out again.”

“Sorry I-”

“Shh, I was joking, just breathe with me. Can I touch your hand?”

Another shaky nod.

“Okay good”

He softly picked up Bucky’s right hand and placed it gently against his chest, holding it in place. He took a deep breath in, watching as Bucky copied him. They breathed quietly for another brief period, Sam crouched in front of Bucky's seat, hand pressed to his heart, waiting until the other man’s breathing evened out again.

“Great. You good now james?”

The older man nodded, leaning back in his chair, deliberately keeping himself calm, feeling his chair wobble slightly as Sam lowered himself into the seat beside him. He licked his lips nervously.

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

He could feel Sam turn to look at him, but he kept his eyes fixed in front.

“Call you what? James?”

“Yeah. You've always insisted on Buck or Bucky before, even when I told you not to. Why start now?”

“You kept repeating it. Your name over and over. Figured it was something to calm you down? I always thought you were just being an ass when you told me off for using that name but, I won't if you don't like it.”

“No its- its fine you can use it if you want. If anything James is weirder, it's what my therapist said to use it. Some bullshit about the name James not being tied to any ‘unpleasant memories’.”

He scoffs and tips his head back onto the headrest, staring at the blinking lights on the ceiling, “as though I wasn't called James in the war.”

“You sure? I could call you something else? Jaimie?”

“Ew. no”

Sam cracked a smile. “Jimmy?”

“Dude stop”

“Okay okay.”

“......”

Sam glanced at him conspiratorially. “Robo-cop.”

Bucky looked at him then, eyebrow raised, the slight quirk of his lip betraying his feigned look of annoyance.

“C-3P0.”

Bucky snorts. “You're an asshole.”

“You understood that reference??” Sam gasps playfully, grinning now as Bucky begins to rant about how just because he's over a hundred years old doesn't mean he doesn't know any pop culture.

The last bit of tension left Sam's body as he saw his friend relax back into their playful banter. He knew Bucky hadn't been doing as well as he had claimed when they got onto the plane but he definitely was not prepared to see him so undone, hell, he had joked about Bucky losing the ability to emote properly after his face being frozen for so long. He made a note to be more attentive next time he saw his friend on edge, heaven knows the sight of those terrified eyes won't be leaving him any time soon.