Chapter Two
Those five years were a deep slumber somewhere in the cosmos but you didn’t dream. You were barely conscious, no concept of the time that had been passing by. When you ‘blipped’ back there was no moment to reunite with Helmut, it took you a few moments to regain consciousness. In the chaos you had been dragged out from your chair by security, crying out for Helmut completely confused by what had happened. Helmut looked like he had seen a ghost, not quite believing he had seen you reappear from thin air. It wasn’t until someone had mentioned it in passing what happened did he actually believe it and it made him crazy that you had slipped out of his reach just like that. In the utter chaos that had been caused by the snap of the Infinity Gauntlet, you remembered the portal opening in front of you on that chaotic street, people screaming and running around you. Through the golden sparks you could see Steve, standing there bloodied and beaten on the battlefield and when he caught your eye you could see the relief spread through his face. Without a second thought you jumped through the portal to join him, hands ready and eyes bright green with power. All you knew is that you had to be by your team's side. You hadn’t been there to fight in Wakanda but you were going to make damn sure you gave it all this time. Even in your civilian clothing you fought with such fervor that a suit of pure telekinetic energy covered your body. Waves of your power brought down hundreds of enemies, and in a split second you had used your abilities to bring Thanos to his knees giving Tony enough time to take the Infinity Stones. That was the last time you saw him alive, barely managing to bid him goodbye.
In the aftermath you found out that Natasha hadn’t made it and you felt like you had fallen into a pit of despair. Regret burned deep in your soul, you should have been there with them, gotten a chance to see one of your oldest friends one last time. What happened next was perhaps the most surprising thing out of all of this.
“He wants to talk to you,” Sam murmured as he passed by you, holding Steve’s shield. Taking a deep breath you made your way over to the old man on the bench.
“Steve?” you asked tentatively. He turned around with a gentle smile.
“(Y/N),” Steve said, tapping the seat next to him. Sitting down next to him, he took your hand into his. What were once the strong calloused hands of a soldier were now signs of old age but they still comforted you.
“I know you retired after Sokovia-,” Steve began.
“Steve I’m sorry for abandoning the team,” you cried out unable to stop yourself, tears gathering in your eyes but he shook his head.
“We understood why you did it (Y/N). Tony, Thor, Natasha, Bruce, all of them understood. What matters is that you were there with us to fight one last time. You’ll be one of the few original Avengers left,” Steve said solemnly. “With that comes responsibility. I know how much Sokovia affected you but you’re stronger than you think. I can’t make you lead what's left of the team, you’re going to find your way in the world but I will ask you one thing,” Steve continued.
“Anything Steve,” you gulped.
“Take care of Bucky. He might not ever forgive me for what I’ve done but I need to make sure he’s taken care of. Look after the others as well. We often lead lonely lives and right now more than ever you all need to support each other. Can you promise to do that to the best of your ability,” Steve finished. His words stunned you but Steve was right.
“Don’t you worry about anything Steve. I promise,” you promised giving him a hug, the familiar scent of his cologne filled your nose. That would be one of the last times you saw him.
Trying to find your place in a world that had moved on without you was proving more difficult than you thought. As a past member of the Avengers, it fell onto your shoulders to try and regain some control, to help and advise alongside Rhodey and Sam mainly. The government had decided to keep a close eye on you as well, you were enhanced and in this new world you had come back to they seemed to not trust you the same way as before. You had even been sucked into Wanda’s Westview anomaly when you had tried to help her out after Tony’s funeral. Through all of this you hadn’t returned to see Helmut, the fact that he was still alive and well in his cell a small reassurance. You had been making plans to see him again, your plane ticket booked for Berlin but your paths would cross sooner than you thought as a knock on your door made you get up from your desk one day.
“Hey,” Sam greeted when you opened the door. Behind him was Bucky who gave you a sheepish smile and wave. He was still a bit nervous around you but you had made it a point to see him as regularly as you could taking your promise to Steve incredibly seriously. You had been the one to make sure he got mandated therapy sessions as part of his pardon.
“Sam! Bucky!” you smiled, ushering them into your apartment. Bucky was a bit surprised when you pulled him into a hug but he accepted it. After feeding them some lunch and catching up you got down to business.
“You need my help don’t you,” you stated, crossing your arms with a small smirk. Sam and Bucky exchanged a look before Bucky scarfed down some more fries.
“I know you put your superhero life behind you (Y/N) but you’re the only one I thought of to help us with this,” Sam explained.
“Where to?” you asked.
“Berlin. We have to talk to Helmut Zemo. You remember him right?” Bucky asked. At his words your heart stopped, eyes going wide. They wanted to talk to Helmut?
“(Y/N)?” Sam asked, eyebrows crinkled in worry. Memories of Helmut flooded your mind for a few seconds.
“Yeah I remember him,” you whispered, holding a hand to your chest to steady your heartbeat.
“Wait, you visited him a few times right?” Sam asked, remembering what Steve had told him years ago.
“Well- um more than a few times,” you shrugged, turning away to hide your blush.
“Care to explain?” Sam crossed his arms.
“Let me pack and I’ll explain on the way there,” you sighed. Sam nodded and got up to help you, Bucky staying at the table staring at the framed picture of you and Steve, his heart clenching in nostalgia.
“Why can’t I go in with you?” you frowned, feeling increasingly agitated. Bucky sighed and pulled you aside for a second in the white hallway.
“Don’t tell Sam but you’ll have your chance to see him after this I promise,” Bucky whispered. Pressing your lips tightly together you nodded slowly, understanding his words.
“Everything good?” Sam asked.
“All good,” you murmured as Bucky followed the guard down the long hallway into the maze of the prison. It had been so long since you had been here but everything was familiar to you, you could probably find your way to Helmut’s cell blindfolded. It took every ounce of willpower not to go in running after Bucky to see Helmut. Sam watched as you chewed on your lip, foot tapping in anxiousness.
“Why do you call him Helmut?” Sam suddenly asked. You turned to face him in a surprised manner.
“Because that’s his name?” you tilted your head, confused by his question.
“We all call him Zemo but you call him Helmut. It's more personal,” Sam stated.
“Like I explained on the plane....we got close. Like friends after all that time I came to visit him. It stemmed from Sokovia really but I got to understand him and he understood me too,” you whispered, emotion filling your voice. Sam decided not to press it but he was still confused on why you had decided to get so close to the man who had divided the team so horribly. You asked yourself that same question but as time went on with Helmut you could tell he was seeing things from a new perspective. He had even planned on asking Steve to meet him when he was no longer on the run, to talk and ask for forgiveness. Suddenly the door at the end of the hall opened and Bucky walked calmly back to you and Sam.
“C’mon I have somewhere for us to check out,” Bucky said, leading you all out. It felt nice to feel the breeze and walk around like a tourist again, your arm tucked under Bucky’s. He had changed a lot since you had first met him, feeling comfortable enough around you to accept physical affection. It was like having a brother, much like Sam, two brothers you had to keep an eye on at all times you thought with a smile. Finally you reached a large garage filled with darkness.
“Careful,” you warned Sam, pulling him back before he smacked his face into a metal anvil. You used your powers like a candle to illuminate the area until Bucky found the light switch.
“Why are we here?” you asked Bucky who gave you a knowing look. Is this what he meant earlier, about seeing Helmut soon? Your heart sped up a bit as you looked around ignoring Sam and Bucky’s bickering.
“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail?” Sam asked incredulously.
“We have no leads, no moves, nothing,” Bucky countered.
“What we have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars,” Sam snapped.
“And we also have eight Super Soldiers that are loose,” Bucky replied.
“Zemo's gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense,” Sam shook his head.
“Offense. Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code. Anyways if what (Y/N) said is right then he’s not as crazy as he once was,” Bucky tried to reason. Suddenly there was movement by the garage doors and you felt the air leave your lungs. The moment he walked in you wasted no time in running towards him, ignoring Sam’s protests as you crashed into Helmut’s open arms. Tears gathered in your eyes as you held him like he was a life raft in an ocean working to drown you. You hadn’t realized you had started crying until Helmut was softly comforting you, stroking your hair. Finally you pulled back, Helmut’s arms still encircling your waist.
“I’m so sorry,” you cried but Helmut shook his head, wiping the tears from your red cheeks.
“Don’t apologize miláčik. None of that matters now,” Helmut smiled, through his own tears feeling a relief so strong it almost made him fall to his knees. Sam and Bucky were stunned at what they were witnessing, they knew you had history with Zemo but never knew the reality of your relationship. To be honest you didn’t know what your relationship was but there was a connection, there was something and you could see it in his eyes. But there was no time for words, Sam had made it clear you had to leave now . Every moment from that garage to the moment you were up in the air in Helmut’s private jet, you were attached to his side like a magnet.
Helmut had been so touch starved, he had resigned himself to the fact that he would never touch your smooth skin while he was incarcerated but now having you with him, he didn’t want you far from him. It was clear how protective you were of him as well, when Bucky had lunged at Helmut with his metal arm, a wall of green energy erupted between them making Bucky bounce back and fall into his seat.
“Enough,” you snapped, giving each of them a stern look before relaxing. “Helmut please refrain from pushing their buttons. We are here for one thing and we have to work together. Please for me,” you asked. Helmut sighed but nodded, muttering an apology to Bucky. With a satisfied smile you reached across and held Helmut’s hand, feeling him relax into your touch. You couldn’t stop smiling and it made Sam a bit nervous, seeing you so happy around a criminal like Zemo. Soon the conversation turned a bit more serious.
“You must have really looked up to Steve. But I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America's Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals,” Helmut began.
“Watch your step, Zemo,” Sam warned.
“They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought. You remember that, right? As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull?” Helmut went on in his tangent.
“(Y/N)’s enhanced. Why don’t you hate her?” Sam asked sarcastically. Zemo’s eyes hardened, eyes flickering over to you as you waited for his response.
“In the time I spent speaking with her my views have shifted. I no longer see things as so black and white. There is a grey area in these matters, nuance,” Zemo admitted. You couldn’t help but smile slightly at that, he had changed.
“There are threats, people who regardless of super serum or mutant abilities are up to no good. If this has to do with HYDRA we have to end it,” you said. That seemed to shut the door to that conversation, Bucky nodding at your words.
Before Madripoor you all made a stop to rest in Hong Kong. Helmut had gotten a reservation at a luxurious hotel for the night but none of that mattered to you all you wanted was time to speak with him properly and a hot shower. As you waited alongside Bucky and Sam in the lobby wondering what the sleeping arrangements would be, heat rushed to your cheeks when you heard Helmut get the room keys for only two rooms and his intention became clear when he took your hand into his in the elevator. Bucky looking at your intertwined hands a bit like a brother would seeing his sister with her new boyfriend. The elevators opened and before you could walk off with Helmut to your room at the end of the hall, Sam grabbed your arm gently.
“Wait you’re sharing a room with him?” Sam asked in a hushed voice, still not trusting Helmut.
“Of course I am,” you replied with a questioning tilt of your head.
“She’ll be fine Sam,” Bucky murmured, opening the door to their room so Sam could follow him in. Sam pursed his lips but nodded as you gave Bucky a grateful smile.
“Goodnight Bucky. If you need anything you just shoot me a text,” you waved. The door closed behind them, Helmut quiet at your side as he led you to your shared room.
“A text?” Helmut asked casually as you entered the grand room. Walking over to the bed you sat down, relishing in the feeling of the bed.
“Yes. Bucky experiences nightmares from time to time as one would having experienced the trauma he’s been through. I always make sure I’m there in case he needs to talk to someone,” you explained, reclining on the comfortable pillows.
“Why?” Helmut asked, as he took a seat on the other side of the bed.
“Because he’s my friend. I also promised Steve to look after him, to look after all of them,” you murmured.
“Is that why you didn’t come back?” Helmut whispered. Slowly you kicked off your boots before you curled up into the pillows, facing Helmut.
“I wanted to but after fighting against Thanos I had to catch up on the past five years. I got stuck in Wanda’s alternate world, I had to try and make my own way with the government breathing down my neck,” you began. Helmut nodded in understanding, he couldn’t blame you. “If Steve were still here or Nat or Tony they would have led us all through it but the rest of us had to figure it out,” you sighed. Helmut curled up on the bed as well as he reached across to stroke your cheek. Looking into his handsome face you felt warmth fill your body, those warm brown eyes you missed so much.
“That day that I disappeared I wanted to explain something to you,” you said a bit nervously. Helmut kept his hand on your cheek in a reassuring manner. “I know I should hate you the way that you hated us after Sokovia but after spending time with you I found myself doing quite the opposite,” you admitted. Helmut stayed silent allowing you to continue, his eyes full of emotion.
“I’ve fallen in love with you Helmut. When I came back after all those years I was scared you never felt the same in the first place or that you weren’t ready to feel the same-,” you began to ramble but were cut off by Helmut rushing forward to capture your lips into a heated kiss. After years of waiting and hoping to have you in his arms Helmut couldn’t wait another second to feel your soft lips against his. Breaking for air he pressed his forehead against yours, eyes closed with overwhelming emotions.
“Watching you disappear in front of my eyes with no way of stopping it, was one of the worst pains of my life. I’ve lost my family already once before and I didn’t think I was going to survive that and after five years of waiting, thinking of nothing but you, I didn’t think I was going to survive that either,” Helmut admitted sadly. “Those months after Sokovia I was already falling in love with you before I was consumed with vengeance. I love you miláčik,” Helmut finished. It was your turn to kiss him which quickly turned into clothes coming off, breathless whispers of love and cries of pleasure filling the room. As you cuddled into his bare chest you pushed away any anxiety riddled thoughts of him returning to prison and simply appreciated having the man you loved in your arms.