Peter thought he was awake, but it doesn’t seem like he is. He’s walking around the tower, but nobody is looking back at him. At first, he believes it to be a prank, but Tony still hasn’t talked to him. Tony never goes a day without speaking to him.
Peter looks into the mirror, but he sees no reflection. Does that mean he’s not there? Or perhaps, in some strange way, he’s turned into a vampire. If wizards (sorcerers, Strange would say) exist than surely being a vampire isn’t something out of reach.
No, he’s not a vampire. He figures that out when he steps outside and the sun does nothing to him. But, still, people act like he’s not there. He takes a walk around the compound and nobody bats an eye. Maybe he’s turned invisible, that might explain it.
He walks down to the lab and Tony’s stood there. Peter walks up to him, a smile on his face, and goes to say something. However, when Peter turns to talk, Tony walks straight through him.
Peter goes to scream, but he can’t make any noise. He looks down at his hand and they feel transparent. He waves it in front of himself, starting to feel anxious in the pit of his stomach. Shit, something is definitely wrong.
He follows Tony upstairs into the Avengers’ living room. Everyone is sat around in a circle. They all look depressed. Nobody’s talking and most of them have tear stains down their cheeks.
He’s just confused at this point. Maybe this is all a dream. A weird, vibrant, dream that feels too real. A dream where you wake up in the morning and debate to yourself if it really happened or not. That’s all this is, that’s what he tells himself.
“It’s not your fault,” Steve says, directed to Tony who looks the most broken out of them all.
Peter wants to start yelling, but his voice is still gone. What has happened? He can’t remember anything. The last thing he remembers was sitting down with May as they watched the office for the third time. Nothing is making any sense.
“It is,” Tony replies.
Tony’s face is broken. His hair looks like it hasn’t been styled in days and he’s got dark under-eyes that reinforce how tired he is. Peter wishes that he’ll go to sleep soon.
Nobody else speaks again.
“How am I going to tell May?” Tony says, his voice breaking.
Peter’s interest peaks at the mention of her name. He’s not sure what Tony has to tell her, but he hopes it’s not bad.
“I’ll do it,” Rhodey says, standing up. He takes Tony’s hand and squeezes it. “Tony, if you ever need anything-,”
Tony’s face falls. He buries his head into the man’s shoulder, his whole body shaking. “I don’t want to bury my kid, Rhodey. I don’t want to do it.”
Peter thinks that he’s finally figured out what’s going on. He’s dead. He sits down in shock, his body just falling through the sofa. He freaks out, trying to reach out for Tony. He can’t hold him.
“I know,” Rhodey whispers into Tony’s ear. “It’s not fair, he’s- fuck- it’s not fair.”
Tony’s whole body was shaking uncontrollably, crying harder than Peter’s ever seen from him before. Tears drop to the floor at an alarming rate. Rhodey’s hand is in Tony’s hair, brushing through it just like Tony used to do with Peter.
Tony drops to the floor, sobbing into his knees. The team stare at him like he’s an attraction, but Peter realises that they might be sad too. Maybe they’re disguising their empathy, pretending as if they’re not as broken. They’re scared to break as that means it’s all real.
Peter gets it, he really does. But, he wants them all to look away from Tony. He doesn’t need the attention. He doesn’t like it when people see him when he’s vulnerable.
Peter hates that he’s the cause of this.
He walks the familiar trail up to the compound’s hospital wing, looking down at himself in the hospital bed. The machine is still beeping. Doesn’t that mean he’s still living?
“It’s time to come home,” Somebody says to him.
Peter turns around, excited that somebody can see him. He looks at the three adults: Ben, Mom and Dad. He can step forward and be with with them.
But who was he leaving behind?
He couldn’t do it to May. He was all she had left. Ned would be on his own at school and Tony... well, he already saw how affected Tony was.
Was that it? Were they the only people who’d ever care that he was gone.
Maybe he should come home, he thinks. He takes his Uncle’s hand and panics when his heart rate slows on the machine. Well, this is it. He’s really dying this time.
The whole team rush in, as well as the team of nurses. The nurses push the Avenges out, but Tony’s stubborn and he stays where he is. He takes Peter’s hands.
“Don’t you dare die on me, Peter,” He whispers, crying into the kid’s chest. “I can’t do this.”
Peter’s not sure what to do. His parents and Uncle are calling him from one side and their arguments are compelling. Tony’s the counter, he’s the one who’s yelling at him to stay.
“Home,” Tony says. Well, he says other things, but that’s all Peter hears.
What’s in a home? It’s not a literal building, really. Home is your family. Home is your friends. Home isn’t a place, some people would say it’s a feeling.
Peter isn’t sure which side is his home.
Mom’s begging for him to come home. Peter doesn’t remember who she is. He could get to know her, though.
She’d still be here later, wouldn’t she?
Peter looks down at Tony. He takes a deep breath and takes a step towards him. He’s coming home.
Nothing happens.
It’s too late.
He’s dead.
He’s dead.
He’s- not? His heartbeat steadies on the machine. His family is gone from the dark side of the room.
He’s still not back in his body.
The team filters in as the nurses filter out. Peter takes a peak at their concerned faces and realises that more people care for him then he ever believed could be possible.
“He fell and I didn’t catch him,” Tony breaks the silence.
“It’s not your fault,” Steve says, for the second time today.
Peter nods. Of course it’s not your fault, Tony. Peter wants to scream it from the rooftops, but nobody can hear him.
He parades around his own body, staring down at himself from a different angle. He’s attached to multiple machines, machines that are keeping him alive. Tony’s arm is grabbing him, holding on so tight that Peter almost feels it in this new ‘form’.
“Tony?” Peter tries to shout, but they can’t hear him. He’s not sure why he’s even trying. “Tony!” He screams, as the man starts to shout at Steve, shouting that he’s a failure and that Peter’s going to die without knowing that he loves him...
“He’s my kid, Steve. My baby,” Tony says, slumping back into the chair that’s bolted down next to Peter’s hospital bed. “He’s dying and- fuck- I could’ve stopped all of it.”
Peter blinks, trying to remember what lead to this moment. They were in a battle, right? A battle with... robots? Aliens? He wasn’t sure. All he can remember is falling.
”Mr Stark, I got this!” Peter said, swinging from one building to the next as he kicked robots away from him, from every single angle.
“Peter, stay back. This one- he’s got a bit more kick in him. Leave it Wanda and Thor, okay?” Tony said over the comms, concern easily found in his voice.
But, Peter’s got this. He was ready to take on more and he was going to make his mentor proud. He was going to save the day.
It backfired.
The ‘main’ man, who was more of a faded shadow in Peter’s memory, hit Peter back with one, calculated, punch. The teenager in a Spiderman suit went flying, hitting the side of a building. Knocked unconscious, he was unable to shoot a web to stop himself from falling.
“Fuck! Peter?” Tony screamed, “FRIDAY! Put all of the power into my repulsers, just get me to the kid!”
It was too late. Peter hit the floor with a sickening sound. Civilian’s gasped as the hero hit the pavement, followed quick by Iron Man landing by his side. They watched as the put together billionaire collapsed into himself, shaking the teenager hard to try and wake him up.
And that was the last thing Peter remembered.
“He’ll wake up,” Steve replies, trying his hardest to try and get Tony Stark away from feeling guilty. Which, in reality, was impossible.
“Please, Peter. Come home,” Tony whispers, his tears dropping onto the bed sheets of the hospital bed. “I know you hate these hospitals, kiddo. God, we both do. You’re a lot like me, you know? It scares me, bambino. I’m not a good man, and I-,” Tony’s ranting now, his shaking hands tucking Peter into something like a swaddle.
Peter wants to tell him that he’s not good. No, he’s far from good. He’s the best. He took Peter in when he was at his lowest. He helped him become a hero, helped him become just like his own idol (Tony). He’s loved him, even if he’s scared to say so, when Peter’s world was crumbling around him.
And he’s the one reason why Peter takes all his strength, trying desperately to wake himself up. He just wants to come home. And, as he looks at Tony, he knows he can do it. Because all he wants to do is say ‘I love you too.’
Tony’s still holding his hand when it happens. Peter blinks, and he’s seeing his body from a first-person view. He’s in his own body. He sees Steve Rogers staring, as the man tries to work out if he’s waking up or not. He can’t move, or talk, so he squeezes Tony’s hand.
“Peter?” Tony says, getting out of his seat. He turns to Steve, almost jumping with joy. “Oh my god, Steve! Grab everyone. Get the doctors, please! I think he’s awake.”
And that’s just what they do. Steve runs, leaving Tony to cry happy tears over the barely conscious Peter.
“Can you-,”
What was that? Was someone talking to him? Peter wasn’t sure.
“Peter?”
Come on, Peter, he says to himself. Let them know you’re there.
“Peter, can you hear me? Squeeze Tony’s hand if you can hear me,” the voice says again, and he’s pretty sure its Rhodey. Or Strange. Or- well, it could be anyone.
He squeezes Tony’s hand.
“He did it!” Tony exclaims, leaning over to kiss Peter on the head. “Oh, kiddo. I’m so happy- I-,”
Peter taps his fingers against Tony’s wrist. ‘I’m here,’ he says in morse code. ‘Not your fault,’ he adds, knowing what was currently going through his head.
Tony smiles at him, and Peter can see it. His eyes are open. Everyone’s looking at him as he tries to sit up, but they all tell him to get back down. But, no. He needs to hug Tony. He needs to walk to-
“Peter, buddy. Stay in bed, okay?” Tony smiles, “We can go for a walk later. When you’re all healed and good.”
“N-now,” Peter rasps, his voice hurting his throat. “Tony,” he says, just enjoying how it sounds. People can hear him. Tony can hear him. He’s alive. “Tony, Tony, Tony.”
“Yes, Pete. I’m here.”
“I love you too, Tony,” he says, before he lets himself relax.
It’s a long road to recovery, but they get there. Peter’s out of the hospital room in no time, spending most of his time underneath Tony’s watch. He doesn’t mind.
He is the reason why Peter fought so hard to stay alive, after all.