Hope
When they landed Nat had been sure to watch Wanda’s face when the jet’s door opened, revealing a homestead that most would never equate Clint Barton too, and just like the team before her Wanda stated at the farm in awe. It was unexpected by everyone but her, and she loved seeing the reactions to it.
“Not what you were expecting, huh?” Clint says as he passes them, a quick laugh falls from his lips.
“Not what I was expecting.” Wanda echoes his words before turning to Nat. “You said farm, but this is not what I’d pictured.”
“Wait until you see it in the light. Like something out of a horror film where the old house doesn’t want anyone new living there.
Wanda chokes on a laugh. “Why are you so weird?”
Nat shoulders her bag smiling. “C’mon little witch, more surprises to come.” She leads them to the house, and before they can even reach the front door it swings open, two young children running full tilt towards them.
“Auntie Nat!” Cooper with his longer legs reaches the two women first, wrapping Natasha in a hug. “I missed you.”
“Missed you guys too.” Lila reaches them and joins in the hug, arms slipping around her brother. Nat looks up to Wanda, who’s smiling warmly at the sight in front of her.
“Cooper, Lila,” She pulls back from them a bit, enough to turn to Wanda. Wanda is staring at her in a way she hadn’t before then. “I’d like you to meet my friend, Wanda.”
Both kids untangle themselves from Nat, stepping up to Wanda.
“Hi!” Lila is the first to say hello, already smiling up at the witch with her hand stretched out.
Nat takes a step back, arms folding comfortably over her chest as she watches the interaction. She doesn’t know what she expected from the little witch, but her bending at the knees to level herself with the children hadn't been it. She reaches out, shaking the tiny hand offered her.
“Hello, Lila. It's very nice to meet you.” She beams at Lila before turning to Cooper. “Well, aren’t you handsome? Hi, I’m Wanda.”
Copper takes her hand. “Hi, Wanda. Are you visiting with Nat too?”
Wanda looks past them to Nat who just grins at her. She had been apprehensive about sharing this part of her life with anyone, but how easily Wanda was taking it already was easing that worry.
“Alright, tiny ones, how about we go say hello to your mom. I believe you have a little brother I need to hold.” She laughs when Cooper takes off towards the house. Barton had told her he was embracing the big brother role well with the tiniest Barton. She wasn’t surprised, the kid had always been protective of Lila, it shouldn’t be a shock that he would be with a baby brother as well.
Lila takes off after him and she turns to Wanda as the young woman straightens, stepping up to stand with her. “I knew Clint was a dad, but seeing it is a little strange.”
“Should have seen Tony’s face when he found out. It was hilarious.”
“Why didn’t anyone know?” she asks as they start towards the house
“When he joined Shield it was a stipulation to joining. No one was to know about this so they wouldn’t be in danger.’
Wanda nods. “That’s smart.”
“Come on.” She slides an arm around Wanda’s shoulders, hiking her bag higher on the other as they walk.
Once inside Laura greets them like they’d been there a thousand times. Nat leaves Wanda long enough to take their bags to the guest room, not bothering to wonder if they’d be sharing a bed. At this point she’d be surprised if Wanda didn’t just plant herself in Nat’s room when they got him, refusing to leave. The thought wasn’t at all unpleasant.
“Kids, it’s time for bed. You stayed up long enough to see Auntie Nat, but it’s late. And don’t wake your brother when you go by his room – took me a lifetime to get him to sleep”
Nat hears Laura yell to the kids from where she’s standing next to Wanda in the kitchen door.
There’s a course of groans from the living room floor, where Connor had been showing his sister a new block set Clint had brought home.
Nat turns to them laughing gently. “You know we’ll be here for a few days right?”
“What? No dad didn’t tell us that.” Cooper says eyes lit up with his excitement.
Clint peaks up at his name. “Surprise.”
Lila walks to Wanda, who’s still holding her brother. “Are you staying here too?”
“I am, is that okay?” Wanda asks innocently amusing the child.
Lila nods, “If you’ll let me do your make-up?”
Laura rolls her eyes playfully at her daughter. “Sweetie, not everyone that comes into the house wants their makeup done.”
“Tony let me!” She retorts like that was fact enough that every one should let her.
“If you go to bed, you can do my make-up tomorrow.” Wanda offers.
“Yes!” Before they knew it the little girl was running to her room. Copper, who’d needed no negotiating following her trail.
When Laura moves away from the little witch Nat walks forward, both hands shoved in her pockets comfortably. This was a different atmosphere for her – one she realized would be a new experience for Wanda to see. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Wanda greets back in their familiar way. “I think I’m going to love it here.” She adds, gesturing around the room.
“Mm, I hope you do.” Nat felt a strange wave of awkwardness wash over her, one Wanda seemed to notice because she reaches out, tugging Nat’s hands from her pockets. “Thank you for sharing this with me – I know this is like your family.”
Nat tilts her head, wondering exactly how Wanda had come to that conclusion. She hadn’t been thinking anything of the sort – but that had been the issue. She was sharing something intimate here. Something that the rest of the team had only found out about due to a need for haven. This certainly wasn’t that – though that had been the guise Clint had used to get here there.
“Natasha, are you still with me?” She steps in, bending her neck slightly to pull Nat’s eyes to her own – away from the spot on the wall behind her.
With a shake of her head, a smile plasters over her lips. “Still here.” She says. “Tired, and ready for bed.”
Having heard the end of the conversation Clint agrees from his spot leaning on the kitchen counter, Laura leaned into his side. “Get some rest, ladies, I’m sure the little monsters will have a full day planned for you.”
“That they well.” Nat grins. “Good night, guys.”
Wanda nods to them “Thank you for letting us into your home.”
Clint waves it off, and Laura smiles. “Good night.”
When they reach the top of the stairs and Nat heads into the first open door. Wanda stops, looking around. Nat turns looking at the little witch, the amusement on her face couldn’t have been hidden if she were to try.
“What’cha looking for?”
“Is there another room or?”
Nat arches a brow a coy smile playing over her face. “You mean to tell me you weren’t planning on sleeping with me tonight?” She reaches a handout, and when Wanda takes it she winks.
“I was trying not to assume.” She says cheeks turning pink as she stated into Nat’s eyes. The air in the older woman’s lungs halts at the darkened look in Wanda’s eyes. She’d started something.
“Well, there is that old saying…” Nat starts but in the next moment Wanda is against her, pushing them both into the room. They’d kissed before, but the way the little witch was gripping her jacket, pulling them as close as she could, causes her to moan into the kiss.
This serves only to spur the younger woman on. Nat hears the door close and realized that Wanda had kicked it closed. She gives in full, both her arms slide around the little witch, she bends a bit, hands finding purchase on the back of her thighs. One swift lift and she has Wanda off the ground, her legs falling around her waist.
She grins into the kiss when Wanda lets out a little yelp of surprise. She pulls back looking up and the need that stares back at her stops her breath again. Time isn’t something she’d afforded to examine the feeling it stirred within her because Wanda grabs her face, kissing her harder this time.
She moans again, gripping tighter to her. “Wan. Mm, fuck. Wanda.” She says mumbles into the kiss. When that doesn’t stop her She turns them around so Wanda is back to the bed. When she lays her down, she’s forced to go with her. The things that stirred in her mind at that moment with Wanda’s thighs gripping at her quickly spread like wildfire, settling deep in her stomach.
The kiss breaks and she’s left heaving for air, chest rising and falling rapidly, much the same as the woman below her. She can’t find words for a moment, because anything she says is going to put a stop to this – and damn it if she didn’t’ want to give in. A sigh pulls from her and she knows she’s broken something.
Below her, Wanda’s face changes from absolute desire to what Nat can only see as a disappointment. She pulls back a bit, resting one knee on the bed, the other foot on the floor. “Some kiss.” She attempts to joke, needing that look to leave the younger woman’s face.
“And yet,” Wanda says, propping herself up on her elbows. “You stopped it.”
Nat pulls away then because starting it again may bring that look of need back to Wanda’s face. “Its’ not that I don’t want to – Just not too fast.”
“I get it,” Wanda says sitting up fulling on the bed. Her neck cranes as she looks up to Nat who’s standing above her. “I just don’t know… “
Nat kneels then, placing her hands sliding over Wanda’s thighs. “Remember what I said in my room that first night when you so elegantly shut me down?” Wanda nods. “You said you wouldn’t be one of those women.”
Wanda nods, head tilting and brows furrowing. “This isn’t that.”
“no, but.”
“But what?” Wanda interrupts.
“I don’t want you to think this is sexual… because it’s not. I mean it is, because god damn you drive me crazy.” She pauses. “You mean more to me than that. I know I’ve been holding back but you know – you can read me.”
“How about you tell me?” Wanda reaches up, fingers running along the older woman’s jaw.
“Can we go to bed, and start this conversation over tomorrow?”
She sees defeat blanket the little witch and has to look away. She could say it, she could tell her how much she needed her. How much she wanted her. Just what she loved about her – but her voice died in her throat.
“Whatever you want.”
Nat feeling cold suddenly removes herself from Wanda entirely, she heads to her bag, using a search for something to sleep in as a way to not look at the younger woman. This is usually where Wanda would push the boundaries, pulling her out of her own head and back into the world, but behind her stood only silence. She despised it.
Why did Wanda always have to be the one reaching out, comforting her? They were in this, head deep, with no sign of slowing, so why couldn’t she let it happen.
“I’m sorry.” She says, eyes still cast to her bag.
“For?”
“Not letting myself love you.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Is the cold response she gets. She shouldn’t expect the witch to always be waiting, to be understanding in all ways., so she accepts the bite in the air around them.
She leaves the room clothes in hand. When she catches her reflection there are tears brimming her eyes. She swipes at them quickly – trying to push away the empty feeling crawling up her bones – and keeps her gaze away from the mirror.
When she returns to the room Wanda is already changed and pulling the covers back. Nat watches her for a moment wondering if she should leave her the room, the space. Selfish need wins out however and she moves into the room further, going to the opposite side of the bed.
She sits, sliding under the duvet. Wanda does the same beside her, laying down on her back.
“I was out of line. I’m sorry.”
Nat shakes her head. “No, you weren’t. I keep pulling you in and pushing you away.” She says as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.
“I knew what I was getting into.” Wanda reminds.
“That doesn’t make it any better.” She slides down the bed, resting on the pillows to face the other woman.
Wanda turns away from her and Nat closes her eyes at the sting it offers. It doesn’t last long, because Wanda moves back, reaching around she pulls Nat’s arm over her side, holding her hand close to her chest. It was simple movement but said more than Wanda seemed to want to at the moment.
“Good night, Nat.”
Well, that was one way to end the conversation, Natasha thinks bitterly. She didn’t blame her though, not really. Minutes later she hears Wanda’s breathing even out and her body relax – She pulls herself away from the little witch, doing her best to not shift the bed and wake her.
Once away from the bed she makes her way across the room, out the door and down the stairs in the darkness, silently. There were not many places that gave her trouble navigating in the dark, but this place she could navigate in her sleep. Aside from the compound, it was one of the only places she felt she could call home.
She moves through the living room to the kitchen where she knows Barton will be, he was always the last one asleep when he was home. He’d once told her he liked listening to the house settle as everyone else went to bed for the night.
“What are you doing up?” is his form of greeting.
“Wanda.” Is her answer. That seemed to be the answer she gave to most things these days.
“Good, bad, or did she send you to fetch water, like a good girlfriend?”
“We’re not even close to that.” She says, reaching around him to pull a glass down from the cupboard.
“Ahh but you’re not denying that’s what you want?” He asks watching her turn the tap on, letting a flow of water spill out.
“Not anymore.” She says. Then it sinks in – Wanda was what she wanted, and she was finally settling herself into that fact. She'd given all the reasons she could to why she shouldn’t and each time they passed her lips she believed them less and less. She’d been hiding – cowering away from her own feeling. Letting herself love her friends had been hard enough. Trusting them had laid the way for love – but Wanda? That kind of love was giving yourself over entirely to another person and hoping beyond logic that they don’t break you.
Her eyes focus on the steam of water, coming back to reality.
“There she is.” Clint chuckles. “You know it’s not that scary?”
“I'm not scared.” She says narrowing her eyes at him.
“Oh no, you’re terrified because she loves you back – and until now you’ve been able to keep your distance from anyone that could love you – because they didn’t.”
“When did you become a love guru?”
“Laura may be in my ear.” He admits. “She agrees you know that you should go for it. You’re not getting any younger you know.”
“If you tell me that I don’t have much longer to find love then I may hit you with this glass of water.”
His hands come up in surrender. “No need to break the drinkware.” He steps to the side, putting more distance between them. “So, what happened that she’s up there and you’re down here?”
Her brow arches at the memory. “I may have turned her down when things got a little... heated.”
“Wait, you mean you haven’t even?”
“No.” She shakes her head, not liking the smile that comes over his face.
“Damn, usually you’d already have the girl.”
Nat interrupts “Clint, god. What do you think I am?” She levels him with an incredulous stare, daring him to answer.
“Plead the fifth.” He is already taking more steps away from her, a boyish grin staring back at her.
“You’re not on trial, dipshit.”
“No, but I choose life.” He calls before making his way to the stairs. “Good night, Nat.”
“Night loser.” She calls back. Shaking her head at him.
She downs the glass of water thinking back to just how good Wanda had looked beneath her. Letting out a groan she leaves the glass on the sink – knowing Laura will scold her in the morning – and decides that sleep should come before she lets her mind stall any longer on the thought.
It’s not the early morning sun that wakes either of them or an alarm that Natasha intentionally hadn’t set. It’s a small Barton, jumping on the bed, excitedly calling Nat’s name.
“Kid, I love you, but go away.” She says, pushing her head further in the pillow.
“C’mon mom says I have to let you wake up and get breakfast before we can play.”
A snicker sounds from beside her and she shifts enough to look over at Wanda who’s wide awake, sitting up with Lila on her lap. “I think she wants you to get up and eat breakfast as fast as you can.” She theorizes, and Lila nods enthusiastically. “See.”
“I’m not getting any more sleep, am I?” Nat asks, propping herself up on her elbows – staring at the pair beside her.
Lila shakes her head, grinning widely. Wanda on the other hand just smiles at the little girl.
“Fine. Go tell your mom we’ll be down soon.”
Lila scurries from Wanda’s lap, racing out the door, before she can make a run on the stairs Nat calls out; “Don’t run on the stairs!”
“Yes, Auntie Nat.”
The previous playful energy seems to leave the room with Lila as Wanda’s face falls.
She moves to get out of the bed, but Nat reaches out before she can. She looks back at Nat with a question in her eyes.
“I’m sorry again, about last night.” She offers.
“Stop it. We’re fine… I’d rather just let it go.” Nat doesn’t know why the answer didn’t sit well with her. She knew if she didn’t ask the wonder would weigh on her all day.
“What does that mean?”
“You didn’t want me, I know why – but.” She pauses looking away. “But I can’t ignore the hurt that offered me.”
“No, Wanda… that’s not it. I wanted you, I want you.”
“As I said, we can let it go.” She pulls her arm away gently, removing herself from the situation, and effectively the conversation.
“Good going Romanoff.” She finally sets to the fact that this could work – and she fucks it up.
“Alright, where is the little traitor,” Nat calls when she walks down the stairs, eyes scanning the living room. Wanda has her arms out, as Laura places the smallest of the Barton clan in them. She looks up when Nat enters.
“We did keep the name – slightly.” Laura’s nose scrunches. “Sorry.”
Wanda looks between them a little confused.
“He was supposed to be a girl and had that been the case.” She leans down feigning annoyance at the baby who just looks at her curiously. “Then her name would have been Natasha.”
“He’d be a strange-looking Natasha.” Wanda grins down at him. “He’s adorable.”
Laura looks to Nat when Clint enters the room, and Nat nods.
“We actually had another name in mind for his middle name, but it changed.” She says to Wanda, who looks at her, waiting for elaboration.
“Nathaniel Pietro Barton.”
Disbelief passes over the young witch’s face, and tears form in her eyes. She looks away from everyone, focusing on the little boy in her arms. “Hello, Nathaniel.” She whispers to him. He reaches up, trying to catch the hair that’s framing her face.
The whole room seems to let out a breath when Nathaniel lets out a coo of happiness.
“Thought it would be fitting. If it wasn’t for your brother I wouldn’t be here to see him grow up.” Clint explains, even though they all knew why the name had been chosen.
“Thank you, Clint. He’d be honoured.” She still doesn’t look up from him.
Nat just watches the interaction, heartwarming at the sight.
Wanda places the baby back in Laura’s arms when she approaches. “He’s beautiful.”
“Good thing he takes after his mom,” Nat interjects, falling into the seat on the couch beside her. She’d done enough running from this for them both, she wasn’t about to let Wanda do the same thing. Wanda looks to her, but she doesn’t see any of the trepidation there. Just raw emotion.
“How come you didn’t tell me about his name?”
“I knew you’d meet him eventually, and hoped it would be something special for you,” Nat answers easily.
“He’d be so proud. He’d annoyed clint to no end in their short time together, but that just meant he liked someone.” Wanda explains looking to Clint who had now joined Laura in the kitchen helping her with breakfast.
The little witch watches the pair and Nat doesn’t need to be told what she’s thinking. Her brother would never have this, a family of his own. She reaches out, taking the younger woman’s hand in her own. “Now you have a nephew to spoil in his name.”
Wanda only looks at her curiously. “Clint already said that you’d have all the access to the tiniest Barton that you wanted – a small connection to your brother in some weird way.”
“Everything about this life we live is weird, that little boy will be a point of normalcy,” Wanda tells her, and Nat agrees.
“I suppose you’re right. And if this works, us I mean – then they’re pretty much a packaged deal.”
Wanda stares at her and she can’t read what she’s thinking. Suddenly the witch leans in pressing a kiss to her cheek. “That’s the most commitment you’ve given this.” She whispers before pulling back.
Nat watches her leave the couch, starting towards the kitchen, but she doesn’t move. She was right, that was the most commitment she’d given this out lout. Her head was spinning with the progress – aside from the wrench, she’d thrown in last night – that had happened over the past few days.