NOW
After that short,kinda cute display of his,he spent most his time in the kitchen. I thought he was avoiding me,which only gave me one more excuse to fall inside that illusion.
One which i've had many times before; that perhaps we could act like everyone else did. Be together,have jealous tantrums thrown at each other,eat our chicken and boiled potatoes in peace as we watch an old movie.
This kind of thing.
But,although it was good enough for today,tomorrow was a new day.
And tomorrow,or perhaps in a week,two weeks,whatever- at some point this would end.
I can't really help myself,although I try. I truly do.
But...
That's what I meant the other day at the hospital; we are not normal people and so,we can't just enjoy such simple pleasures.
We are...inevitably pointless.
“Hey...want me to turn the tv on?”,he asked me in a soft voice,planting a kiss on the top of my head as he was behind the couch.
“Mm...no,not really”,i whispered to him,turning around to face him.
“Aren't you bored? What do you want?”
“You”,i said,simply and bluntly,and I could tell this took him by surprise. “I mean...”,i chuckled nervously, “just sit down Steve”
I patted the seat next to me; he smiled,lowering his head as he always did. A rather cute,small yet beautiful mannerism which i'd grown to be overly fond of over this short but at the same time fulfilling time we have spent together these past years.
He sat down,as I asked,too close to me.
It was an odd,strangely new feeling I could not find the words to explain completely; as if I was looking at him for the first time,with eyes which were not my own,but someone else's. Someone whom could capture his beauty entirely,and perhaps even more so.
I put my hand behind his neck,a faint dimple appearing next to the corner of his lips along with a small smile as he looked down at me.
He came closer and kissed me.
It was unlike any other kiss we had shared up till now; it was more intense,on a very different level. It was fueled by pure desire. By the need to touch each other's skin; to feel,to grasp our being together like this.
He was breathing into my mouth,as if the air coming from my lungs was the only thing keeping him alive.
He put his hands on my lower back, pulling me even closer,now sitting on his lap as our bodies touched.
I could feel my pulse beating uncontrollably with each thrust of his tongue inside my mouth.
I was burning.
“Steve...”,i huffed inside his mouth,and I could only assume he enjoyed the sound of his name coming out like this,for after I did that his grip on me became even tighter,even needier.
His lips came down to my chin,then my neck; I bit my lips,letting out some muffled moans as he was sucking on my skin,nibbling it softly,yet aggressively at the same time.
He pulled down my blouse,it's fabric exposing more of my chest as it was stretched out.
Steve kissed my collarbone,his tongue leaving small paths leading lower and lower until he reached my breasts.
His face was buried in between them,sucking on the skin; my hands were pulling his hair even more,my head thrown back as I kept groaning,biting my lips so much I feared I might make them bleed.
I could feel myself getting wet,a tightness bellow my stomach,a need to be touched even more. So much that I couldn't control myself anymore.
I pulled his face up,kissing him again,much more violently than before as I began rubbing myself against him,feeling him hard underneath,two layers of fabric in the way of my pleasure.
He was groaning,biting my lower lip,kissing me without stop,not even to take a breath.
Then he suddenly pulled back; I kept kissing his neck,unsure as to why he had stopped.
“Pers...we..”,he was huffing,trying hard to control his breathing as I kept on kissing his skin. “We don't have to..Not if you don't want...”
He threw his head back,his eyelids closed as he gulped down the words to come next; I straightened my body,looking directly at him. Steve opened his eyes,his face stiff as he was trying to catch his breath,while I had a silly smile on.
“Steve”,i said, “i want to”,i assured him,a tint of playfulness filling my voice.
“Yeah-no,me too”,he shook his head, “but..i don't know,maybe it's too soon. I mean,we don't have too if you feel this is being rushed”,he explained in a soft voice.
I put my palms on his chest,softly caressing him; Steve held me by the arms,and for a second we were simply looking at each other.
“Steve..”,i said,hesitantly at first, “Is this by any chance..your first time?”
“What? No,no”,he chuckled,shaking his head. “No thanks to Bucky,not”,he continued laughing,though it turned out to be more bitter towards the end. “He made sure I was ready for the world..that's what he used to say..”
Truth was our people were pretty judgmental about this kind of things; as a woman,as royalty,i was supposed to save myself.
Sex was...a bad thing for a young woman. Something we were supposed to cherish,only share with a husband,a ceremony if nothing else.
One more reason to never request a conversation from Kaemon. Or Hermes.
But,this was...not something to think of at the moment.
“You mean..he took you to a brothel?”,i asked,my head tilted.
“I...”,he huffed,trying hard to smother a small chuckle, “He had his ways”
“I'm sorry,is this uncomfortable?”,i asked him,my concern genuine. “I've been told I can be inconsiderate at ..um,times”
Steve pulled me closed,kissed me softly on the nose. “No,it's fine”,he huffed out in a whisper. “He was...kinda like Nat; always trying to find me dates,bringing me along in his own ones...he was relentless”,he chuckled out.
I smiled,looking at him with genuine adoration as he spoke.
“But..the world is not like it used to be seventy years ago..back then being with a girl like this...”,he pursed his lips, “you had to be really good with your words. Charming,or something you know”,he smiled. “The world has..changed,quite a bit”
“That's not a bad thing..”,i whispered.
“No,perhaps it's not”,he agreed,pulling me in for another kiss,on the lips this time. “But..you're sure about this,right?”
I smirked,kissing him again. “Yes”,i nodded, “I,Persephone Pearse hereby declare I want to have sex with you,Steve Rogers; you have my consent,and my blessings to proceed”,i laughed looking at him.
Steve lowered his head,trying to suppress a chortle. “Alright then”,he said in a hoarse voice.
He pulled me closer,his grip tight as he kissed me again; he stood up and I had to put my hands around him,afraid I might fall,though I knew he wouldn't let that happen.
He kept walking,i couldn't mind the destination as all I was thinking about was him,at this moment,being with me.
He closed a door with his foot,then gently put me down to his bed; I mouthed an oh,seeing how this is what he had in mind.
He got rid of his shirt,and as if someone had asked me to,i followed along,pulling my blouse away,tossing it aside;
This wasn't the first time either of us was seeing the other with no top on,yet it was the first one we could actually...act on it. Take each other's bare skin with no shame as we studied our bodies.
He came closer,slowly putting himself on top of me; he touched my collarbone,his muscles getting tighter with each stroke of his fingers on my skin. My neck felt dry,and I was thirsty. So,so damned thirsty.
He kissed my neck,each one of his kisses planned,leading a path along my collarbone,then down my breasts. He put one arm behind me,his fingers unhooking my bra,and as soon as that clicking sound was heard we locked eyes; I bit my lips,pulling my bra's strings down.
I could feel his gaze on me,never leaving as he studied me,every inch of me.
I couldn't speak for his part,though for me It had been a while,a long one since I last laid this naked under a man.
What happens in the battle stays in the battle. That's what I used to say,and so these days remain buried inside me as I try to think of the world as a place with much more to give,much more to live.
Steve kissed me,cupping my breasts and playing with my nipples,taking in all my moans,softly biting my lips.
He went down lower,kissing my nipples,his hands on my waist; his lips were moving in a steady pace,now kissing my stomach,only stopping at a newly acquired scar,from the time we spent in New Jersey,when SHIELD bombed us.
The tissue had began it's healing process,a light pink colour,with many stitches on it,some where Tasha's doing,some only there after the operation at the hospital.
He put his hand on top of that scar,gently brushing it.
“You really saved us back then..”,he whispered,his voice hoarse. “We got out with mere scratches and you got a hole on your stomach...”
I hated the way his eyes squinted,how much guilt they emitted as he eyed that scar; I cupped his face with my hands,and he looked up at me.
“Some people are worth getting hurt for”,i simply said with a small smile.
He kissed the inside of my palms. “They shouldn't”
I didn't have a chance to respond at that; he pulled down my pants,kissing me down,my underwear still in the way.
I unconsciously opened up my legs as he dragged them down,tossing them aside and now I laid completely naked.
I bit my lips,his tongue touching me as I flinched,curving my body.
I was standing like a book,cut open,all my pages accessible to him only; written in a language only he could decipher as he massaged my edges,gently caressing the words,his tongue stroking the pits laid there by the passage of time.
I could feel the air getting thicker,sweat drops coming from my forehead as I felt the temperature rising. I was afraid for a moment I might even burn the sheet as I kept on pulling the fabric,desperately trying to hold myself as if not to completely burst.
I was gasping,Steve's hands buried on my thighs,trying to keep them down as I was practically pushing them,as if to choke him; it would come in waves,an electrified heat which made my chest tight as my mind was now blank. Nothing but pleasure,that's all I wanted,that's all I was given.
Steve himself had quite the fanbase; young girls wearing t-shirts with his shield's logo on them,fantasizing about him,desperate to have him wave back at them. Imagine Captain America licking your pussy; I could get their point.
Steve Rogers was a reserved,old fashioned kinda guy; he enjoyed old movies,he didn't drink or smoke. He was respectful, always holding himself back. Having his face in between my thighs..it felt beyond surreal.
I was close,so close; but I wouldn't have it end so quickly.
I pulled him up then pinned him down; Steve was looking at me,puzzled for a few seconds. I unbuckled his belt,then pulled down his pants.
His eyes followed each movement I made; he was already erect,and I was needy. I was suddenly slow,in the mood to tease him. I pulled his boxers,watch him stand tall before my face.
“You don't have to-”
His voice was low,yet as soon as I grabbed him with my hand he stopped,gulping down a moan.
I stood there,feeling him on the inside of my palm,watching his face get more relaxed and stiff at the same time,if such thing was possible.
I took him in my mouth,my movements hesitant and unbearably slowed down as I watched him with the corner of my eyes; his fists grew tighter,Steve himself throwing his head behind as a muffled groan escaped his mouth.
Sex wasn't just about two people -or more- being naked in front of each other; it was about dominance,about pleasure and immense power. About taunting,the hoarse moans your partner made as you breathed them in.
What a powerful thing.
To be able to have them curve,fold their bodies under you,your own mouth dried up of any liquid,their pleasure enough to make you squirm.
To watch Steve get stiff,his muscles tighter every time I licked him,my own tongue studying him up and down,a cyclical movement as I my eyes were fixed on his...it was enough to have me wetter than ever before.
I sucked his tip,Steve groaning even more as I did.
I wanted more; I wanted him in me,my insides already burning.
I rode him; his dick fit me like a glove and I slowly closed my eyes,my lips parting as a muffled moan came out.
“W..wait Pers..fuck”,he groaned,his hands tight on my hips, “we didn't ...we need a condom...”
“A..a what?”,i turned to him,my breathing heavy, “Wh..what's a condom?”
Steve looked at me,both of us equally confused,though probably for different reasons. He smiled at me,softly as his smile was filled with understatement. Steve,unlike everyone else in my life, never made fun of me not knowing basic things.
“It's...protection”,he said softly,though I was still confused.
“For..what?”,i asked,my head tilted.
He pursed his lips,though I was still on top,his dick inside me. He gently and carefully got me out,placed me next to him.
“It's for..many things. For you not to get pregnant..”,he began,though I was quick to respond.
“But you can pull out”,i mumbled,still confused.
“That's...not always effective”,he smiled. “But it's also for..general protection”,he explained,though I was still puzzled.
He sighed,then pinched my cheek.
Back home,we didn't have condoms. Each time a couple haves sex it's solely for the purpose of reproduction. And,every time I had sex well...the guy would have to pull out and I had to pray by the Gods of Spring,the Gods of Dawn and Obscurity that I wouldn't get pregnant.
Worked pretty well till now.
Steve was kind enough to explain it's purpose. It was not only to avoid one's pregnancy but also to prevent sexually transmitted infections,which was a thing that could happen to anyone as I understood,though back home we were told only prostitutes got those.
I was still learning apparently. Despite my being here for two years now,there were still things I had no form of understanding for.
It was...frustrating.
But Steve did bear with me. He explained,in simple words and slowly,as if to make sure I would completely understand. Unlike everyone else in my life,Steve never,not once make me feel like an idiot.
I adored that man.
He got one from the drawer,and when I asked how come a man like Captain America keeps condoms at home,he was sure to really put some effort to avoid answering that. Thought it was cute.
He showed me how it worked,or maybe,how it's supposed to work.
Good thing I was still concupiscent;
I pushed him down,i could tell he wasn't expecting me to,much to my pleasure.
I rode him back up,adjusted him inside me and slowly,painfully so,went down until he was all the way in.
I threw my head back,only by a little; I wanted to see his face as I was coming up and down.
At first it hurt a little; it had after all been a while since I last had I dick in me.
But,it wasn't a bad kind of pain. It was the kind that made you wish for more,where pleasure arrives shortly after the pain, where everything else shuts down completely.
It was just him and me,nothing else mattered at the moment.
I was coming up and down,slowly and steadily; his hands were on my hips,guiding me along the way.
Each thrust made me moan,and although Steve wasn't moaning much,i could tell by the way he was grinding his teeth that..he liked it.
He pushed me down,carefully,though he was more aggressive than before,not violent,but in a dominant kind of way.
He was now on top,his face on my chest as he kept on kissing and sucking my skin.
My body was curved,my thighs hugging his body as he kept going,faster and with more force every time.
I was close,so much that I had no control over my body; I was gasping,the air so thick that it felt unbreathable. My nails were deep in the back of his shoulders,so much that I could cut his skin.
He moved his face up,kissing me,taking all of my moans in; I was so close.
I felt like I could die if that hunger wasn't fed; he sucked the skin of my neck,nibbling it,and each time I would whimper more.
“I'm...close,Pers...damn...”,he managed to breathe out and my grip on him tightened.
“Me...fuck,me too...Steve...”
I liked saying his name as he was stroking me,and I loved the way my name sounded as he gasped it out.
“Steve...Stev- fuck,i can't”,i cried out,his thrusts now more violent,more aggressive than before.
We were both about to cum.
My thighs hugged him even tighter as the last thrust came all the way in,reaching the furthest point.
I gasped,my mouth opened as a very much muffled last scream came out along with me.
He laid his body on top of me,hugging me as he buried his face on the inside of my neck; I was brushing the skin of his back,slowly and gently as I tried to catch my breath.
I could see some faint grazes on his back,ones I had made and I clicked my tongue as I carefully traced them with my fingers.
“Mm?”,he lifted his head.
“Nothing...”,i muttered, “i was just thinking...”
He laid next to me,and I put my hand on his chest as I was looking at him.
“About what?”,he asked me as he caressed my cheek with his hand.
“Did I just fuck Captain America?”
He fell back,his head thrown on the pillow as he burst into laughter. I couldn't stop my own laughs either as came on top of him,my chin resting on his chest.
Then he stopped; a faint smile appeared on his face as he straightened his body up,one hand cupping my face. He was just studying me,taking me in,without speaking.
Made me feel even more naked than I already was.
“What...you're acting weird...”,i mumbled and he chuckled,though it was a short one.
“Sorry...”,he whispered to me. “I'm just glad you decided to give this a try. That I did”,he admitted.
I smiled before I could actually think about it.
Maybe we weren't so pointless,and maybe,just maybe I... I shouldn't be thinking so much about all these terrible to-come causatums.
Maybe I should just focus on now. Because,now was good.
In now I was happy.
And...this should count for something.