A BRIGHTER DAY
Maximilian took a look at my injuries; there was nothing too serious,no internal bleeding,just some cuts that needed to be sewn. He gave me a few painkillers,and as always,asked me to take better care of myself.
As if it's up to me.
Still,i had to spend one whole day in the HQ's infirmary; Tony said he had men to look at me too,but for some reason I had become accustomed to Maximilian's silly talking,and for that I felt more at ease being in his care.
The next day Tony dropped me off at the Avengers Tower; as he said, “these rooms I busted my ass to build for you are getting too dusty”
Fury said they had found Jean's body -most his agents looking for 24hours straight as this now was one of our top priorities,dropped in a port just outside Manhattan; a cocaine overdose,that's what they said. Jean was a chronic user,but it's probable that the coke was given to her by force,a way to silence her.
If only she hadn't met me,if she could just mind her own business...maybe she'd still be alive.
“Hey...”,Steve's voice came out low,calm. “Are you alright?”
He was leaning on the door frame; our rooms were on the 43rd floor. Barton needn't a room as he said,though he'd make sure to stay for a few more days. After that,vacation it was,that's what he said.
Each room was designed for us personally,and so mine was big,one bed in the middle,a game console and a lot of books,stacked in a big furniture; most of them about history,since i've been trying to learn more,to make myself fit in somehow.
It's walls died in a light blue,mostly shades of cream.
There was a mini bar,Tony said i'd like that little detail,and so I stood up and approached it,pouring myself a glass of vodka. I lifted one glass to him,but he shook his head no.
“It's for her. Just this one Cap”,i tried to sound carefree,though it was mostly unsuccessful.
Steve sighed and then he nodded. He came closer,and after taking one sip I gave him his glass.
Tony had brought a stereo as well,many CDs stacked on shelves right above it. I searched for a bit,my fingers brushing each one.
I picked up one; AC/DC, You Shook Me All Night Long.
“You know”,i said as I sat down on one beanbag,nodding to him to join me,and Steve sat next to me. “I've grown awfully fond of this rock music,in my time here”,i exclaimed as the music kicked in.
Steve chuckled.
“You have,haven't you?”,he asked,taking one sip from his glass,his eyes never leaving me.
“Yes..And,Barton kept bringing me those games..the Call of the duty and..counter strike? Yes,i think so..they're rather enjoyable”
“Well you certainly seem to be fitting just right”,he said in a soft voice. But I was nothing but bitter.
“I'm certainly trying to...reading all these books about your wars..playing games meant for teenagers,listening to music made by people deep in their 70s or something...It's sad,if nothing else”,i took in one deep breath.
“Does it feel like that for you too? The whole..21st century and all..”,i asked and he let out a soft smile.
“It's a challenge..But..i'm learning”,he said in a low voice.
Steve turned his head,his body lifted as he came closer. He put his glass aside; his expression was rather serious,and so I looked back at him. My eyes were already watery. My jaw clenched as I was fighting these tears off with every piece of willpower I was left.
“It's fine Pers..i know how that feels like. It's never easy,no matter how many people you lose,it never gets easier”,he said,his voice soft as a whisper.
“I'm the reason she died Steve..”,i admitted in a cracked voice.
“No- the one responsible is currently locked up. You gave Jean justice. Do you have any idea just how many more girls she would have killed or sold,had it not been for your persistence? Pers,everyone kept calling you crazy,but you never even stuttered. You caught her. That's a victory you got yourself today. Enjoy it”
His hand was on mine,gently brushing it. My face was tight; I couldn't control anything any more. I burst into tears. There were so many,just so,so many; Steve pulled me close and he hugged me,caressing my back with his hand. He held me tightly,enough for me to smother my tears on his neck.
“You did great Pers. It's not your fault”,he was chanting on my ear,like he was afraid I might forget.
“We always remember those we lost..But,for some reason,we never remember those we saved..”, he said after a while. “I know how it feels like. It's easy to put the blame on you,even though you shouldn't”
I pulled myself away,now the tears slowly drying on my cheeks. My eyes felt stingy; I took another sip of the vodka and leaned back.
“My point is..give yourself a break”
I remained silent for a while. I pursed my lips.
“Actually...i was thinking of something..else”,i said with a faint smile and he looked at me,confusion in his eyes.
“So,no fires? No flying walls and stuff?”,Steve asked me,his voice loud as he was standing at least twenty feet away.
“No reason too”,i simply said,my lips pursed. “Back home we train both our powers and our muscles,but here...there's no point in going all out with fires and stones..Nobody has them,so it's not like I'm gonna get anything out of it”
“What,think I can't handle a little fire?”,he asked ironically,a playful half smile on his face as he was stretching his arms.
Best thing about Tony's tower? Ten entire floors dedicated to sparring,strong enhanced walls,enough to hit with fires without anything crumbling.
“To be honest,i think you can barely handle me without them”,i joked and he smiled,his head lowering.
“But you know...if i'm nothing without them..then what's the reason of getting them in the first place? I mean..i don't know if that makes any sense,but..it's sorta like you and that shield”,i started,his gaze fixed on me,
“You're great with it,no question here,but you're still gonna fight whether you got it on or not. We're soldiers Cap”
“That”,he started, “we are”
He ran towards me and I cracked my head; I felt like I hadn't sparred like that in a while now.
Fighting is much like dancing; I remember watching these performances,in the theater with the royal family. They were mandatory for us,a column of our very culture,and so we had no other choice but to attend.
The chorus would sing,the dancers running,their arms moving up and down delicately in accordance to the lyre's soft melody.
Steve gave one punch,and i ducked; everything was happening extremely fast. He kicked my leg and I fell behind,giving one kick which landed on his jaw as I flipped over.
“Ouch”,he lifted his brows and I licked my teeth,feeling somehow proud.
“Did I just kick CaptainAmerica in the face?”,i asked all innocently and he pursed his lips,trying to hide away his smile.
“Okay,let's get serious now”,he said and I bit my lip.
Just like those maidens in these theatrical performances,delicate yet fierce; one arm's stretch forward equaled one step back,one knee bent,palms on the ground,one grant flipping,a big slide on the ground.
Steve was coming at me with great determination; he wasn't going to disrespect me by going easy. Reminded me of my far off,yet awfully vivid days as a soldier,outside our tents.
Reminded me of Kaemon,somehow.
Our sparrings were the highlight of each battle's end.
No bending allowed most of the time,it was a matter of strategical wits,of the strongest,the one who could actually fight better,punch to punch,kick to kick.
Usually ending in a draw,they were truly beautiful.
Sometimes we'd both lose,sometimes we'd both say we won..No one asked for a tie really,expect for those around us,growing tired of our non stop going at each other.
To say I don't miss him...would be an awful lie.
I must have been dozing off for a few moments,because Steve somehow threw me down,his lower arm pressing my throat,his legs locking my arms in place as he was now on top of me.
“What? Getting sleepy?”,he asked jokingly,his breathing heavy.
There were some sweat drops coming down his neck; his eyes had a glowing blue-green color on them,the sunlight only making them seem more radiant than they already were. For a moment we remained silent,our breathing the only thing to be heard.
I must say,it felt odd,seeing him fight without his suit,without that shield of his; he had normal pants,a white shirt,nothing blue or black. No stars,no red flags.
It was..fun. Him being not Captain America,but just...Steve.
“Who said i'm sleeping?”,i asked suddenly and his eyes widened.
I abruptly slid my hand away from his legs' grasp,to land one elbow on his stomach; I was quick. As soon as I took him by surprise by that elbow hit,his legs both loosened their grip,as did his arm on my throat.
I hit him with my fist's side,his hand on place to cover his cheek; it was enough for me to grab him by the ribs with my other hand and to push him down.
I was up with one move and Steve flipped over to stand up as well,his fists up – as were mine,a stance on in order to fight.
This was fun. Being able to spar with someone,laugh and make snarky comments along the way...felt distantly nostalgic.
We stayed there until late in the afternoon- no winnings or losings. We both agreed -as adults if nothing else- that it was fair to call it a tie.
In the end we both headed to the 40th floor,the one with the main kitchen and the living room. We were both sweaty,still trying to catch our breaths.
Tony was there,speaking on his phone as he was making himself a coffee. Barton was sitting on the couch,watching Tv with the doctor,whom I also hadn't seen in a long while. I didn't know where Tasha was though.
“Oh,Persephone- my gosh,i'm sorry. I just heard about what happened”,the doctor said as soon as he saw me walking in with Steve.
“It's alright doc. We handled it”,i said sharing one look with Steve.
He stood up,coming closer, “I'm..glad to hear that”,he said with a warm smile.
He tried to give me his hand,his awkwardness more than visible,and I just pulled him in a hug.
“How are you holding up?”,i asked as soon as he pulled away.
“Um..fine,mostly. I've been trying to regulate some things..that's why Nat couldn't really..um,find me”
I sat next to Barton,and he playfully tapped my head,messing up my hair as we both smiled. Steve sat right next to me,his eyes fixed on me and Barton,i think,and the doctor was now on an armchair right next to Steve.
“Don't worry doc,it's fine really”,i tried to assure him with an awkward half smile and he smiled back.
“So,Cap”,he turned to Steve,him lifting his eyebrows at his name's mention, “i heard you were in Germany?”
“Ah,yeah..They will probably send me back anytime now”,he admitted and I felt a knot forming deep in my stomach.
So,he would leave,again.
“Must be awkward,going back to the place which began the war that made you into a soldier in the first place”,Tony butted in,putting his phone inside his jacket's inner pocket. He took one sip from his mug and then smiled proudly for that comment of his.
Steve's lips formed a thin line,though I was watching them both; Tony sat down on the couch right next to Barton.
“So,kid. I heard you took a trip to the training floors. Should I call my engineers again?”
“Everything's finee”,i hummed and he chuckled.
This was fine.
We were fine; we were laughing and making jokes,Tony throwing his sarcasm at us.
We were having fun,being together.
But,as Kaemon used to say...
Peace never lasts for long; just long enough for you to believe in it.