Regulus POV
“What Pans?” I sigh and set my book down looking at the blonde in front of me.
“Are you gonna tell him?”
“Tell who what?” I play dumb knowing full well what she means.
“Come on Reggie you're not that stupid.”
“That stupid I'm hurt Pandora truly,” I place my hand over my chest as if I've just been shot.
“Oh shush,” she hits my arm with a book, “you know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” I sigh and she perks up.
“Yeah?”
“Oh, I meant yeah I know what you mean not yeah I would tell him,” I correct and she frowns.
“But why not?”
“Because it could ruin everything?” I say it's an obvious answer.
“What is everything?” She asks “don’t tell me Sirius.”
“Sirius,” I say at the same time and look at her.
“Regulus you haven’t talked to your brother in a year, don’t make this about him.”
“No, that's exactly the reason that it is about him. I haven’t talked to him in a year, I’m doing that on purpose. Do you think I like ignoring him? No Pandora, I’m not doing this for shits and giggles I’m doing this to protect him,” I snap.
“I still don’t see what this has to do with James.”
“Dating James means dating my best friends brother. James and Sirius are practically attached at the hip. How am I supposed to date James and never see Sirius?”
“Isn’t fake dating going to mean the same thing?” She asks and I stop dead in my tracks. I didn’t think of that. Of course if I was coming to this conclusion, any logical person would too. They would be expecting a Black Brother reunion.
“No,” I mumble.
“But why not?
“Because we’ll end things before it gets there,” I shrug its a simple solution really.
“Regulus,” she says in a soft, almost pitying voice.
“What?”
“Stop letting your family take good things from you.”
“I’m not-”
“You are,” she says firmly, “you already let them take your brother and we can’t lie there. If what you say is true that you are protecting him then we all know who your protecting him from,” and more softly, “James cares about you Regulus, he looks at you like he has stars in his eyes. Sure maybe he loves Lily but that doesn’t mean he can’t love you too.”
“I don’t want to be a second choice again,” my voice catches in my throat threatening to escape with a sob. I was born as a fail safe in case Sirius died, he was a sickly kid and my parents were worried. Sure I did everything they always asked of me but in the end if Sirius came back they would hand everything to him and forget about me again, which means less punishment and responsibility but also less love.
James loves Lily, you are simply there.
As if Pandora can hear my thoughts she grabs my hand, “stop that, you are so amazing. He just needs a little push.”
“I don’t know, Pandora,” I look down and frown. Telling James was a lot to think about.
On one hand I could tell him and he could accept it, he could love me for who I am no matter what my family does. He could love me like he does Sirius, well not exactly, but James could reciprocate the feelings that have been running through me for years.
On the other hand he could run away and never look back, be utterly disgusted with me and who I am to ever think I could have James Potter. This was the more probable of course, but I’ve never been very strong when it comes to James.
“When have I ever been wrong,” Pandora asks and looks at me with the intensely.
“Never,” I croak out.
“So why would I be now?” She whispers and she's right. She’s never been wrong before so she could be right about this.
“Okay,” I breathe out.
“Yeah?” she asks, her face bright.
“Yeah,” I give a small smile. I could be wrong about this but in the end it’s only my happiness on the line and it’s not like theres much there right now anyways.