It was just a stupid exercise, just an attempt by Mr. Harrington to bond the two halves of the decathlon team, the unsnapped and snapped members. After the tension between the two groups did not dissipate throughout the first month of the school year, Mr. Harrington took it upon himself to get Midtown’s social worker to stay after school one random Wednesday and run through some trust exercises to try to dissolve the bitterness and create a cohesive team. Mrs. Walker, a petite blonde woman that wore thick-rimmed glasses three times bigger than her face, walked them through various bonding activities, having them do trust falls and a few ice breakers. And then this.
It was just a stupid exercise, but Peter’s heart was pounding out of his chest. Share with the group: What is the worst thing you’ve ever done? And please, remember to be honest. At first, Peter didn’t even care. The bonding session wasn’t really working; Brad still snapped at Flash for catching him a shade too late, Cindy made fun of Yasmin’s biggest fear, and Zach was straight-up napping at one point. Nobody was really trying, so Peter figured he would make up some random thing that a normal teenager would choose: jumping the turnstiles in the subway so he wouldn’t have to pay, lying about his computer breaking when he was late to turn in a paper, telling Ned that he loved his party hat, when he really didn’t.
But then, for some insane reason, Betty, who was first to go, decided to actually take the exercise seriously. She didn’t look at the group as she shared about how she lied to her mom. She lied about overhearing her mom’s boyfriend talking to another woman, convincing her mom that he was cheating, and ending the relationship, all just because Betty didn’t want her mom to move on from her dad’s death. Nobody stepped in to try to reassure Betty, to tell her that she was justified in her actions or that it was okay because she felt guilty in the end, because Mrs. Walker had told them not to as it wasn’t the point of the exercise. Their only job as a team was to respond with a, “Thank you for sharing.”
With Betty’s confession, the floodgates seemed to have opened. One by one, the entire team poured their hearts out, until eventually, only Peter was left. The whole team stared at him expectantly. He fidgeted under their shared gaze, picking at the cuticles of his fingers while struggling to decide what to do. He knew he could lie. It would be so easy and nobody would really know. Probably.
When he was just about to speak, about to say that he felt guilty for lying to his aunt about quitting his extracurriculars two years ago during his early Spider-Man days, Flash cut in.
“Well, Parker, are you going to finally admit you were lying about the Stark Industries internship?”
Before he could reply, Brad surprisingly spoke up for him. “Will you just shut up, Flash? Let him speak.”
“Yeah,” Cindy said, glaring at Flash. “What’s your problem?”
“My problem is that he’s a liar!” Flash replied, voice rising. “We all know that internship wasn’t real––”
“Flash,” Mrs. Walker interrupted. She gave him a patient, but stern look. “This is supposed to be a safe space for everyone. Right now, we are all sharing our very intimate thoughts and feelings, and this is no time to be alienating your peer, no matter how you feel about him. We can address your feelings about Peter later if you would like. Right now, it’s his turn to be vulnerable. Please apologize, and then we can continue.”
Flash looked properly chastised. He ducked his head and mumbled, “Sorry, Peter.”
Mrs. Walker turned to Peter, shooting him a soft smile. “Please share when you’re ready, Peter.”
“I, uh…” He bit his lip, unsure of what to say. Again, Peter fidgeted as his teammates waited patiently for his answer, all of them except Flash looking at him with kind eyes. Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax. Who was he kidding? He was a horrible liar. He kept his eyes closed as he began to speak, not wanting to look his classmates in the face as he shared the worst moment of his life.
“I… I, uh, know that some of you know that I was there when my uncle died. But what you don’t know was that it was my fault.” He paused, taking in a sharp breath before continuing. “It was my fault because I was having, uh, issues I guess, and after a fight with my aunt and uncle, I stormed out of my apartment late at night. I wasn’t answering my phone since I had turned it off, so my uncle came out to find me. I went to the bodega a couple of blocks away to get some snacks, but I was a couple of dollars short and the clerk wouldn’t give me a break. He said it wasn’t his job to let every hungry person take what they wanted for free.”
“This is… this is the part where I, um, messed up.” Peter opened his eyes but kept his gaze on his hands. “I was putting the stuff I picked up back when a guy came in to rob the store. I just sat and watched as he held the clerk at gunpoint, didn’t call the cops or do anything to stop the robber, because I was angry at him. The robber got the cash in the register before running off, and after he was gone, I made my way out of the store, and the clerk asked me to call the cops. I told him it wasn’t my job to call the cops and left.”
Peter paused again to breathe before finishing. “Ben was a cop, and he tried to stop the robber when he ran into him. He didn’t know the guy had a gun, and… and the robber shot him. And I found him lying on the ground bleeding out. And… and I–I was screaming for someone to call the cops and I tried to stop the blood, but I couldn’t.”
“He died in my arms.” He took in a harsh breath, failing to stop the tears from falling. “It was my fault. My uncle wouldn’t have been there if he wasn’t looking for me. I could’ve stopped it if I had called the cops, but I didn’t because I selfish and hateful and wanted to punish the clerk. I killed my uncle. It’s my fault he’s dead.”
Peter wiped away his tears before daring to look up at his teammates. All of them were in varying states of shock. Mr. Harrington, Ned, and Zach were openly crying. Betty was covering her mouth, and MJ was staring at him, eyes shining. Mrs. Walker looked like she was about to throw up.
Nobody said anything for a beat. Then Flash, with the most sincerity he’s ever shown, said, “Thanks for sharing, Peter,” and everyone else stumbled a bit before echoing him.
Mrs. Walker took that moment to gather herself up again, then clapped her hands together. “Thank you, Peter, for your honesty and vulnerability. I think that since it’s now four-thirty and the late bus will be leaving soon, we should wrap things up here. Thank you everyone for your willingness to do these exercises and to get past your issues with one another. If you would like to make an appointment with me to talk one on one, please send me an email and we can schedule a time. Have a pleasant rest of your day!”
Slowly, people started to trickle out of the gymnasium. Ned rushed over to Peter and swept him up into a tight hug, telling him, “Love you, dude,” before letting him go. In that time, MJ wandered over and punched him lightly in the arm, shooting him a wobbly smile that Peter returned.
“That was pretty brave, Peter,” MJ commented, her voice as even as ever. “Good on you.”
“Thanks, MJ,” Peter replied warmly. His eyes darted to where Mr. Harrington and Mrs. Walker chattered in hushed tones about their concern for him. “Uh, guys? Can we get out of here before they try to start an intervention? I’m not really in the mood to deal with that right now.”
“Of course, dude,” Ned said. He shoved at Peter’s shoulders, ushering him out. MJ followed beside them. “Let’s all go get some ice cream. I’m buying.”
Peter faltered. “You don’t need to––”
“I’m. Buying.” Ned glared him into submission, frowning.
“Are you really going to take away the chance for free ice cream for me, Peter?” MJ dryly asked, raising an eyebrow. Her lips quirked into a small smile.
“Fine! You’re buying.” Peter hid his own smile under his hand, grateful for his friends.
Ned’s expression brightened. “Great! I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thinking of getting Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge because I’m in a chocolate mood today––”