Confessions Over Coffee
The cottage was like a world in and of itself.
You rarely had to leave. The community was small, a seaside town where the trappings of modernity were kept at bay by tradition, so all of your business could be conducted on foot or by bike. Your little back garden grew vegetables and flowers and with the money Helmut had stashed away from his life before you lived comfortably.
In that house on the cliffs near the sea, things were safe. It had taken a few years to gain the trust of the locals, ever fickle and set in their ways, but soon enough you were neighbors instead of foreigners. Even if someone were to come to try to find you and drag you back to the world outside, none of your friends would even let them get close. You were safe. So, you learned to relish in the little things and let yourself relax.
This morning, the little thing you chose to enjoy was coffee.
Usually, you would have had tea, but Helmut had come back late from a meeting with his friends at the pub and was going to be incredibly hungover when he woke up. A cup of strong, black coffee would do him good. As you poured his cup from the french press you paused for a moment before pouring your own. Caffeine was still fine in moderation, that was what the doctor said. Resolutely, you poured your own mug and added plenty of sugar.
It only took Helmut a few more minutes to rouse himself from his dreamless sleep and stumble into the kitchen where you waited. The second he saw you, he smiled. Despite that, you could tell he was battling a severe headache from his escapades the night before. Now that he wasn’t drinking as frequently, they tended to hit him twice as hard after half the alcohol. You offered him his cup of coffee with a sly smile.
“I thought you’d need this,” Your voice was a lilting tease.
He took the mug from you gratefully, squinting against the rising daylight that streamed in from what felt like every direction. “You were correct, Schatz, thank you,” For every ounce of gratitude in his sleep-rough voice, though, there was an equal measure of exhaustion. It really had been a late night. Maybe today wasn’t the right morning for news…
No. You steeled yourself. It was better to do it now, in the soft glow of the morning as Helmut wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close, than to do it later.
With a deep breath, you leaned into his touch. “How was your night?”
“Long,” He groaned, “Franz insisted we stay for another round every time I tried to slip away,”
“But did you enjoy yourself?”
“Not nearly as much as I would have if you had come with me,” The fingers on his free hand laced with yours as he drank deeply from the cup, letting his eyes flutter shut. “We missed you last night, by the way. Magda was sure to remind me that she was bored without your company at least once an hour for the duration of the night,”
You swept a small lock of his hair away from his forehead. “I’m afraid Madga has lost her drinking buddy for a while,”
Helmut stilled. Confusion laced every feature on his tired face as he searched your eyes for some sort of clue, the key to the puzzle you had laid in front of him. “I… I don’t understand, Schatz. Did… did something happen? Have I done something to upset you?”
A smile spread across your face as you shook your head no. “I just can’t drink, darling,”
“Can’t drink? You’ve drunk me under the table hundreds of-”
“I’m pregnant,”
He froze. It was as if in an instant his hangover had disappeared and he was viewing the world with newfound clarity. “What?”
Your grin grew wider. “I’m pregnant, Helmut, we’re having a baby,”
Helmut’s world stopped turning. The only thing that mattered was him and you and the child you carried with you. With a trembling hand, he set down his mug on the counter before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him. “Mein Gott, Schatz, I… Mein Gott,” His voice trembled as he spoke. All you could do was run your hand through his hair as he put together his thoughts. “How long?”
“Two weeks,” you murmured. “When I went into town for groceries I stopped by the doctor’s and had then run a blood test. I’m about a month and a half along now,”
“And you didn’t tell me?” His words held no vitriol as he pulled back, letting his hands rest on your stomach, tracing the curves there as if he expected a bump.
“I was waiting for the right time,”
Slowly, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. It lasted only a second, but it conveyed things words could never say as you stood, all three of you connected, basked in the glow of the sunlight from the big windows behind you. You had never felt more at peace.
“You have given me a great gift, Schatz,” Helmut whispered, lips still inches from your face as he pulled away, “and I promise, I will be with you every step of this journey, for better or for worse,”
“Even when I’m vomiting on your shoes?”
He chuckled. “Even when you’re vomiting on my shoes, though I’d hope that I could get you to a restroom before that had to happen,”
It was easy to fall against his chest and giggle, relishing in the soft vibrations of his laughter. “This baby is going to be the most loved creature on this whole planet. Especially with a great papa like you,”
Helmut couldn’t help but agree. In the back of his mind, he could see another shining pair of eyes, still misty from joyful tears, and a child long dead and buried. He smiled.
“That they will be, Schatz. I’ll make sure of it,”