The Voice of Reason
Felicity couldn’t hide the fact that she was furious. She didn’t know why, but for some reason everyone in her life was slightly (or not so slightly) overprotective of her. This was both a good and a bad thing. This meant all the people in her life loved her, and she was grateful for everyone but sometimes this could be so annoying. Like, for example, right now. She knew this would happen. She shouldn’t have come.
But she missed them. All of them. She missed her dad and his annoyingly good (but not all the time) jokes. She missed Natasha and her dry sense of humor and the deadly looks. Clint – he was always acting like a child, always trying to ease the atmosphere, Thor, with all his confused looks, because he didn’t know humanity all that well. She missed Bruce too, he was the only normal person in her family (you know, ignoring the anger problem). And Steve. God, she missed Steve.
Yes, they had their fair share of history, but before all of that they were friends. They had spent so much time together, practically lived together for a while (twice). He was easy to talk with and so nice and good with everything and everyone. So, yes, she missed him.
But as much as she missed all of them, she wanted to kill each and every one in the room. By the look on their faces she could guess they didn’t know she was coming, let alone she brought guests. They looked shocked, as if they found out three minutes ago, which might be what exactly happened. Well, they looked shocked, except Nat, of course. She knew, Felicity was certain. And honestly, the blond would have been so disappointed at the spy if she didn’t know.
So Felicity put aside her anger and stepped a little closer to the group. She thought Natasha would be the safe choice for a hug first. She knew, she was a coldblooded spy, so she wouldn’t react all that bad, and then hopefully, the others would follow the agent’s example.
“Nat, I missed you so much!” Felicity said and smiled at her. Natasha stood up from the sofa on which she was sitting and hugged the blond tight.
“Ah, my favorite Stark!” Natasha finally said “I missed you too! But just so you know” Nat said after she took a step back “I am pretty sure that your phone doesn’t bite. A call or two would have been appreciated”
“What? I called you like once a month!” Felicity defended herself
“What?” was her father’s turn to ask “You called her but you didn’t call me?” he made a hurt face
“Yeah, I mean, Nat and Pep gave me all the information I needed for the time being!” Felicity said. “Plus you hate talking on the phone, I probably did you a favor”
“Okay, that make sense!” Tony then shut up.
Felicity continued hugging people and saying hi. After Natasha, she greeted Clint, then it was Bruce and Thor’s turn. And finally, Steve’s… She smiled weakly and hugged him tightly.
“Hi” she whispered in his ear.
“I am so happy to see you, Fel” she heard him saying with a sad voice. They stood like that a little too long probably, but she did miss him, and apparently he missed her.
“Okay” her father decided to say and Felicity and Steve each took a step back. “Felicity, your room is exactly where it was, I didn’t go in there, promise!” Her dad said and some of the avengers laughed.
“Of course you didn’t, what’s the fun in going there if there is no one to interrupt” Felicity joked and looked at Steve. His face was the same shade as ketchup then her eyes travelled to Oliver and Digg. Shit, she totally forgot about them. Oliver’s face was strange. There was so many emotions hidden behind his mask of the emotionless superhero.
The first time she met him he had cracked a smile at her, but the more time she spent with him, the more she knew that was just a mask and she found out just how to see through it. And right now she was seeing a little bit of anger, probably jealousy and a lot of other feelings she couldn’t name, like grief and a little bit of awe.
“Right, let me guys show you your rooms.” Tony said looking at both men and started walking towards the bedrooms of this floor.
This was actually their floor, the other members of the avengers had other floors, but after they all moved in the tower everyone decided it would be best if they just gathered on her father’s floor. First they went to the first guest room which was supposed to be Digg’s. After that Tony showed Oliver where he would be sleeping and Felicity could notice that her father had chosen the furthest one from the girl’s own bedroom.
When she walked in her room all the memories hit her. Her father had left, claiming he had something to do, but they both knew better. She needed time. Felicity sat on her bed and looked at her desk. There were photos all around the room. She looked at one in particular. A tear left her eyes. She didn’t know how much time had passed but she knew she had to look through her wardrobe. She needed a shower and a change of clothes.
He felt so awkward. As soon as he walked in his room he didn’t know what to do. This whole thing was one big mistake. They shouldn’t have come. And by ‘they’ he meant him and Digg. They didn’t know these people, they were Felicity’s family.
His mind wandered back to when they were in the common area. Everyone looked at him and Digg threatening. He didn’t mind, in fact he was glad that Felicity had family which cared deeply about her. Dr. Banner wasn’t so bad, in Oliver’s opinion. He threw at them one (very skeptical) but still, only one look. Thor hadn’t mind them at all, which he couldn’t decide if it was bad or good. But Barton and Romanoff could kill them with only glares. Not to mention Captain America.
Oliver wasn’t stupid. He saw what happened back there, the long hug, the whispering, the jokes Felicity said that made the Captain’s face red. He supposed something happened between them. Actually, he supposed something happened even on the plane, now that he saw them he knew.
Felicity and Rogers were once together. Oliver didn’t know how to feel. He had no right to be jealous but still he couldn’t ignore the anger in him since he saw them hugging. Which made him think… He liked Felicity, he maybe even loved her. She was like this spark in his life, almost always cheerful, giving him tiny smiles, joking most of the time.
He didn’t lie to her when they went to the mansion the night Slade attacked the city. But she didn’t know then and he had no reason to tell her now. He couldn’t risk her. But now that he knew who her father was, who her family was. But still... Nobody knew she was Stark’s daughter, not that anyone knew who Oliver was, but still. He couldn’t manage to lose her.
He sat on the edge of his bed and closed his eyes. Why had Felicity never told him about her family. Yes, the memories must be painful and the fact that her father is a superhero, but still. She should have said something. She was right though. He never asked.
Moira kissed him on the cheek and then headed to the podium. He couldn’t help but notice the look his mother threw at his blonde assistant. Felicity just rolled her eyes and headed the other side. Something was wrong. Hell, he felt something had happened even earlier today, but Felicity didn’t want to comment on it, so he didn’t press then. Now, well now she was going to tell him.
“Felicity” he said but she didn’t stop “Fe-li-ci-ty” Oliver said again and grabbed her arm. “What is going on with you?” She finally stopped and looked at him “And don’t say noth- “
“Nothing” she tried to lie again.
“Don’t say nothing” Oliver managed to finish and she looked away. He waited for a couple of seconds and then said “The truth, please”
“You may have noticed that I talk a lot” She said and he could see tears forming in her eyes
“It has not escaped my attention”
“You might have also noticed that I don’t talk about my family”
Yes, he had noticed that. Some evenings they would gather in the layer and John and Oliver would share some funny stories about their families or something like that but Felicity never did. She always stayed quiet. So Oliver didn’t push. He could see that this was not a pleasant topic for her so he didn’t push.
“I had noticed that” he finally said
“My father is… well, he is my father” Felicity said with pain in her voice. Once again Oliver decided not to push and waited “And I don’t know what my mother is, because she is not around anymore. And my family… well, I remember how much it hurt when I left.”
Oliver was frozen. When she left? Did she run away? What had happened?
“Just the thought of losing someone that important again…” And Oliver understood where this was going
“Hey, you’re not going to lose me!”
He took a deep breath and opened his suitcase. A quiet ‘fuck’ escaped through his mouth, seeing his toothbrush was missing. He probably forgot it.
“Is everything alright, Mister Queen?” a voice came from the ceiling and If it weren’t the years of training and all the bad shit he went through his whole life he would have been terrified. The voice, however was familiar. “My apologies, sir, I was under the expression that maybe Ms. Felicity had told you about me. My name is Jarvis and I am an artificial intelligence created by Mister Stark to do anything from collecting information to refilling the fridge.”
Oh, okay, that made sense. “Okay, um. Thank you for your concern but I think I’m alright.” Oliver said and decided to continue looking through his luggage. “Actually, can you tell me where is the closest place to buy a toothbrush or something like that”
“There is no need, Mister Queen, there are new ones in the cabinet under the sink.” Jarvis’ voice came. “If you need anything else I would be happy to help”
“Actually, yes. Can you tell me where is Felicity’s room, please?”
“Yes, of course, please, follow my instructions”
And he did. When he reached the door on the end of the hallway Jarvis told him to wait for Felicity’s approval. Oliver didn’t know what to think. He was feeling like he was in this old castles where there were butlers everywhere who acted exactly like Jarvis. He waited for less than a minute then heard Jarvis saying that he could enter.
As soon as he did he spotted Felicity going through her old stuff, looking at pink t-shirt. “Hey” he said gently with a small smile on his face.
“Hi" she smiled and showed him the T-shirt she had found. It was pink with Iron Man's gold part of the mask on it. It was a little smaller than the T-shirts she wore now “do you think that would fit me. I think I gained weight.”
“Felicity you are per- You look great and I think it would fit you perfectly. " he smiled and looked around her room. She had one really big bed, the walls were purple and the furniture white, she had a desk with nothing on it but when he got better view on it there was a screen on, she had bigger wardrobe and bathroom that he had in their old house and the TV was much bigger than himself. He noticed that on one of the walls she had some photos.
He looked at them and there were three or four with her and her father, a couple with the Captain and some more with the whole team. There was an old picture of a woman and a girl.
"Felicity, who is this?" He asked. She come closer so she could see the photo better.
"This was my mother. Dad took this picture on my last birthday party with my mom." Felicity said.
"I'm sorry " he said and turned to hug her. She accepted the hug and buried her face in his chests.
He could feel her sobbing so he hugged her tighter than before. As they stepped back he grabbed her face with his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs. He watched her eyes slowly clear from all the tears and let himself smile a tittle. He then leaned closer to her. He could feel her blushing as her cheeks became hotter. He was going to kiss her and this time there was no Slade or an army of super soldiers or anyone who could stop him.
Except her father who opened the door and entered her room. They drove apart, Oliver looked at the floor and Felicity blushed even more. And then suddenly he remembered the comment she had made earlier about her father not having anyone to interrupt.
Had this kind of thing happened already. Oliver wasn’t a fool. Felicity was gorgeous, she would have had boyfriends. But the comment she made, it burned into his head. She was looking at the Captain while talking. Now the photos on her wall made much more sense.
"Uhm, I was coming to tell you that Thor decided he wanted to make his famous Asgardian dish for dinner and since he can't cook to save his life I was going to order pizza." Tony said and brought Oliver to reality again.
"Oh, well, I think I would like to try this Asgardian meal but it won't hurt to order a pizza, just in case. Oliver, you want some?" Felicity asked awkwardly.
"Ugh, yeah, I can manage with pizza"
"Great! Oliver would you go to Clint and order some while Felicity helps me down in the workshop?" Tony asked but it didn’t feel like a question.
"Yes, yes, I'm going." He nodded and went to the door.
"You can ask Digg as well. He is not much into these new things." Felicity added still with the blush on her face.
"Will do." Oliver said and walked out of the room as fast as he could. Now he had to figure out how to get to Digg and where to find Barton.
Her father had his arms crossed in front of his chest looking a little bit of angry and curious. You know how Tony looks, like 10% of anger and 90% of curiosity. Felicity’s blushed face burned even more. One time. Only one time he had knocked in her entire life with him, and of course it was a very similar situation.
"You know I got under the impression that you didn't want more superheroes in your life." Tony said and Felicity could sense the judgement in his voice.
"I think this offends you." She sat on her bed.
"Well, yes, taking in mind you left telling me you don't want to live in constant fear for us. Yet whenever I called you, you were with him doing some "vigilante" job with Queen. I can't see the point in you leaving us" he sat next to her.
"Dad, this is different. You know that when I was here you didn't even let me know where are you going and I had to find it the hard way, hacking S.H.I.E.L.D and then having to talk to Fury EVERY SINGLE TIME." She said as she was looking at the floor, gathering some courage to look her dad in the eyes.
"And I'm not saying that I do not live in constant fear now, but at least I'm trying to help, and actually succeed, sometime even saving their lives." She said with a little smile.
"And you don't have to see Steve every day and practically live with him" Tony said as Felicity finally looked at him with teary eyes and nodded.
"Dad, you know what I felt for him. He left me! I was so angry, I actually still kinda am. When did he came back? And why didn’t you say something?” Felicity asked with a broken voice.
“Would that make a difference?” Tony asked.
“No” she shook her head. “And now it's the same, you now.” She continued and Tony did nothing but nod. “It’s like I found another Steve and another team Avengers and I don't know what to do, and sometimes I want to talk to you about this and I want to talk to mom because she would know what to say and..." she started crying.
"Shh... Sweetie, please, do not cry, please everything will be okay." He hugged her and wiped out her tears. They stayed like this a long time. Felicity hadn’t really ‘recovered’ from her last spree of emotions with Oliver and now this… This day couldn’t get more teary, right?
"Now what would you say about going to the workshop? Me and Bruce have something very interesting to show you. Okay?" Tony asked as he got up and smiled.
"Yeah, okay, I will come" she said as she wiped all the other tears and forced a smile.
"And sweetie, I want you to promise me something!" He cupped her face. "From now on I want you to tell me everything that is bothering you. Everything! Do you understand me?" Felicity only nodded but that was enough for Tony.
"Oh and Fel. If that Queen boy makes you cry one more time I would make him wish you hadn't move to Starling at all."
Felicity laughed and punched him I'm the arm.
"Daaaad. Stop." They both laughed as they exited the room. "No, dad seriously, stop harassing him. He didn't do anything but protect me. Always. " Felicity said with a serious face.
"Yeah, okay, I will try really hard. But I am not promising anything on the behalf of the team. Especially Steve. Sweetie, you should talk to him." He became serious too.
"Yeah, okay, I think I can do that. Now, where’s Pep, I haven’t heard her in a week?"
Steve was sitting on the sofa in the "living room" they had made for some nights to watch movies or just to hang out. Natasha and Clint were there too and Thor was running from the kitchen to the living room and back in a hurry to cook his meal but to be in the conversation too.
"I don't think she is safe with him. I made Jarvis search him on the net and trust me when I am telling you that there is not one good article written about this guy. How she could leave us for him?" Steve said angry and sadly as he drank of his whiskey trying to get drunk but miserably failing because of the serum in his body.
"I think we should give him a chance. If Felicity choose him to be her companion in her life then maybe she is seeing something in him that we can't!" Thor said standing near the door of the kitchen
"Thor she's not gonna marry him!" Cap said angrier than before
"Then you have nothing to worry about Captain!" Thor said with a smile.
"That's not the point, Thor. We are saying that she is working with him and putting her life in danger because of him! I asked around. They told me he is a captain in Bratva" Natasha said.
"Well, then Captain you should tell her about your undying love for her!" Thor exclaimed happily.
“No way he’s Bratva!” Clint exclaimed “You sure?”
“Yes, dumbass, I’m sure!” Natasha said and rolled her eyes.
Steve dropped his head in his hands and Clint more annoyed than ever pretend to smell something.
"Uhm Thor, I think I smell something burning!" He said pretending to be worried. Thor ran into the kitchen and left the three of them alone.
"Actually Cap, you know he is right, eh? I mean If you had told her something three years ago she wouldn’t have left." Natasha said looking at him seriously.
"Guys this is not the point. We should talk to them and we should really get to know them before we make some accusations and ruin their life. I mean I am totally up to that but Felicity would never forgive us if we do that" Clint said as he drank all of his beer.
"And when did you become the voice of reason?” Natasha joked “Sadly, I admit that you are right, and no, I’m not gonna say it again! We should see their skills too. I mean I would like to see who is better shooter, Hawkeye." Natasha said as she smiled at Clint. Barton on his behalf didn't say anything just opened another beer and drank.
Felicity had send Oliver and Digg a text but they hadn’t replied her yet and she was starting to freak out. They didn’t show up for dinner. She asked Clint if they ever told him about the pizza, he just shook his head.
Thor was really pissed at everyone that they didn’t trust him and ordered pizza but in the end that porky-chicken-beef thing that he had cooked was pretty good and they ate everything.
The others were playing all nice with Felicity although she knew that they were pissed at her for lying them. She played it cool too, as she didn’t know about it and the evening went smooth. Smoother than she expected. Steve wasn’t pressuring her, just asked ordinary questions like “Do you like it there?” and “how is the job" or “did you find a good house”.
It was this domestic stuff that she had missed. Her dad and Clint were always joking, Thor and Steve were adorable as they never get the jokes, Banner was quiet as always and she and Natasha were smiling or laughing. It was like she had never left. And this night was the happiest she had in a long time.
Not that she was unhappy with Oliver and Digg and sometime Roy, but she really missed all this and she hadn’t realized it until now. As they had finished their meal all of them cleaned the dining area and the kitchen and all said good night to each other because it was really late.
Felicity was so tired and she wanted so badly to just sleep but Oliver and Digg hadn’t come back yet from their “stroll". Two hours ago Digg had sent her a text saying they were out on a “stroll" to look around New York and maybe get a pizza themselves.
She was a little pissed that they didn’t tell her but in the same time she could understand that no one except her knew them and it would be a little awkward if they had dinner together. She decided to stay and watch some TV and wait them come back. So she sat on the sofa in the living room, got Jarvis to play Star Wars I and just tried to not fall asleep.
„How many times exactly have you watched this movie?” Steve asked as he walked it the room. Felicity put it on pause and looked at him with a smile.
“I think this is my 14th time, but don’t judge me. This is the only one I can fall asleep watching.” She explained and he sat on the sofa next to her.
“And why are you here, alone, trying to fall asleep?” Felicity shifter awkwardly in her spot. She could guess where their conversation was headed.
„Well, Bruce, dad and I decided that we should wait till tomorrow because we were all tired and thought we would think better if we had some sleep. And Digg and Oliver went out for a walk. I think Digg missed NY so they are ‘sightseeing’” she smiled and looked at him. “So here I am waiting for them to come back so we can all have some rest. I mean we didn’t sleep last night at all and now it’s past midnight so...” she didn’t continue because she didn’t think she had to.
Steve was looking at her with this look that could make your heart beat faster. He was cute and handsome at the same time and he was sweet and good but Felicity couldn’t feel the same things she had been feeling three years ago.
Captured by her thoughts she didn’t noticed that he was trying to get closer to her and the moment she realized that he was already so close to her that she could feel his breath. He leaned closer and the next thing she knew he was kissing her, his hands holding her face and his tongue trying to break through her mouth.
And then she let him. Why she would do such a thing? They were kissing and she liked it very much, but the one who popped out of her mind was Oliver and she imagined that he was kissing her. When she realized that it was only a fantasy she pulled back and made some distance between them.
“I'm sorry Felicity, I shouldn’t have done that!” he said as he was preparing to get up and go but she stopped him.
“No you shouldn’t have. You should have done that three years ago. You know what would happen if you did that three years ago?” she asked him and he could see a tear forming in her eye. Great, she was crying again. “I would have considered coming with you”
“I'm sorry, Fel, that I didn’t have the courage to do that back then.” He said as he cupped her face once more “But I have it now!”
“Well, I‘m sorry, but I don‘t need it now. I needed you back then and you weren‘t there and now I can‘t afford to have you when I have the same feelings I have then for you as I have now for someone else. I am sorry" she pulled away from him “I know I don‘t make much sense but I need you to understand me.”
“I do Fel, you have feelings for that Oliver, and I don‘t blame you. You have the full right to be mad at me and I understand you. But I'm worried about you!”
“You are what now? Oh, Steve you don‘t get to be worried about me! I have a head on my shoulders and I know what I‘m doing” she said with an irritated voice “and you don‘t get to tell me anything because you pulled away three years ago and it was your fault and...” she stopped herself because she felt the tears coming. She didn’t want to cry in front of him.
“I know what I have done and I have been sorry for it every single day since you‘ve been away!“ he pulled away from her “But I can understand that you have feelings for him and I am really happy for you but are you sure it‘s the right guy. I mean I don’t know him and I asked Jarvis to tell me everything he could find and...”
“Oh my God, you searched him“ she said and then laughed. “You know he is nothing like the person he is showing to the media. He is trying to and he has really changed over the past two years and he is really kind and caring person and he saved my life like a dozens of times.”
“And I’m sure that he put you in danger in like 99% of those times" Steve said judging.
“I think you should give him a chance. I mean them. You should totally give Oliver and Digg a chance. They both are very caring and they became like my second family for me.” she smiled just of the thought of them
“So, you're happy?”
“Yes, yes. Very. And I am very safe too. You don’t have to worry about me. You can sometime visit us, you know? We would be really glad with some extra help. Since the army of nuts, you know.." she smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. When he smiled back she shifted and tried to get comfy. “Now could you tell me, please, what I have missed?”
“Yes, of course. You want ice cream?” he asked as he stood up
“Yes, mint-"
“Mint chocolate chips, yeah, I know. I ordered it for you today" he said as he smiled and went to the kitchen.
“Man you love her. Even told her so" Digg said as they were both walking in the tower.
“I was trying to fool Slade.” Oliver tried to pull away from this conversation.
“Yes, except now the only person you try to fool is yourself” Digg said as he pushed the button for the elevator Oliver only smiled.
He couldn’t think of anything to say to that because of course Digg was right. He was always right. He was a little bit jealous of Digg and Lyla because they were happy and they were waiting a girl and basically they had everything. And all Oliver had was Thea. His parents were dead and Felicity was, well, let’s put it that way, “hard to reach”.
Even before he knew who her dad was he knew he can’t be with her, because she could get hurt. And now the fact that Captain fucking America was in love with her and she had these photos in her room of them both hugging or laughing. Man, he could not compete with Steve Rogers, the American hero. He couldn’t stand a chance.
As the elevator’s door opened they walked in the living room where Felicity was asleep on the sofa and Steve was carrying some empty bowls back to kitchen.
“She was waiting for you to come back.” Steve said and forced a smile.
“Oh, man, we really are late, look at what time is it.” Digg said as he waited for Steve to go to the kitchen and made a gesture to Oliver to go and take her.
“Yes, I was just going to wake her up so she could go to her room" Steve said from the kitchen
“Well, Captain, I don’t think that would be necessary.” Oliver smiled and went to her. He put his hand below her neck and her knees so he could lift her.
“Well, in that case, good night mister Queen and mister Diggle" they both just nodded at him and went on their way.
“Hmm, St‘ve did Ol’vr and Digg came home?” Felicity said sleepy as Oliver put her in her bed.
“Hey, Felicity, it’s me, I’m here, we got back” Oliver said and smiled at her, even though her eyes were closed.
“Hey Oliver, I am so very pissed at you, do you know that?” she said and immediately fell back to sleep.
He sat on the bed and watched her for like 2 minutes or so. She was so beautiful and she looked like a sweet baby girl in her sleep. Her blond hair was spread on her pillow and her lips. God, her lips.. He could bet that they are maybe the sweetest thing he could ever get. They were curved in a smile and Oliver thought she was dreaming something good. She deserved good, she deserved better than Oliver. With that thought Oliver got up and left her room.