Steven
“You had dinner with Steve?” Y/N sounds surprised, she and Sam had arrived home around the same time and now the kids were put to bed, they were sitting on the couch discussing their days.”
Sam chuckles, “Yeah he texted me, wanted to meet up sometime.”
“And you just decided that sometime was tonight?” Y/N was not at all surprised by that Sam had always been pretty freaking amazing at forcing himself into people’s lives without them even really noticing. He did it with her too when Bucky and she first started dating.
//
After Sam left Steve went back upstairs, he had shown Sam some of Angela’s favorite clothing pieces and they were now spread around the room. Each clothing piece filled with a memory of the woman he still loves most in the entire world. The woman who gave him everything he ever wanted.
The woman he lost…
And as Sam put it; Everything reminds him of her, but getting rid of it would feel like betrayal. He would never be able to do that.
-
The next morning he is awake before his 5 A.M alarm, but instead of laying there, basically waiting for the earth to consume him, He gets out of bed and makes all of his kids lunch.
Something Angela always did, he even wrote the little notes about how much he loves and appreciates them. His handwriting is nowhere near as nice as hers tho…
It’s odd, but today thinking of her hurt a little less than most days. Most days it’s like he’s drowning. Today his lungs are still filled with water, but he can taste the air still.
“Dad?” Peggy sounds really surprised when she walks into the kitchen an hour later.
Steve is sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in one hand the paper in the other. He smiles at his eldest daughter. “Hey beautiful, did you sleep well?”
Peggy nods, still looking a little skeptical, “Are okay?”
“Fine,” Steve says, he never realized how much of his kids lives he had missed the last two years and how his kids had definitely noticed it. Peggy’s reaction confirmed that.
“You’re made lunch?” Peggy is holding one of the paper bags, her finger running across the little handwritten note. “And you wrote us little notes?” Small tears are forming in the corners of her eyes. “You’re back.”
It’s like you van visibly see the stress fall from her shoulders and guilt hits Steve like freaknig shot gun.
“I am so sorry I checked out.” He starts apologizing.
But Peggy doesn’t let him continue and instead throws herself at her dad, embracing him. “It’s okay I am just fucking happy you’re back.”
To Steve it didn’t feel like it was okay, but it was like the rest of his kids could sense their dad was back, like mentally present again(or at least trying to be,) because they all came downstairs at the same time. Which didn’t allow Steve to better apologize to Peggy.
After Peggy got off of Steve to make herself a cup of coffee and Jazz and James were admiring the lunches, Luke climbed onto his dad lap, looking at him with the biggest puppy eyes. “Daddy, did you remember to buy miss Barnes a birthday gift?”
Steve instantly started panicking, “Birthday gift?”
Luke nods, “Yes her birthday is tomorrow, so we are going to bring gifts.”
“Today?” Steve asked, hoping it would be tomorrow. Which considering that’s her birthday, would make the most sense.
Luke thought for moment, his little eyebrows raised, “Tomorrow.”
“Good.” Steve made a mental note to pick up a gift somewhere today.
“Are you bringing me to school?” Luke then asked, drinking the milk Peggy poured for him.
“Of course,” He had to get back into the rhythm of being an actual good parent. It was well overdue.
-
Luke spend the entire car ride talking about how excited he was for Y/N’s birthday, because apparently teachers birthday’s are a big deal at his school.
As soon as he arrived at the school he ran to his friends, not even bothering to say goodbye to his dad.
Steve looked around, looking for Y/N, he couldn’t explain why, but he couldn’t just leave. Something in him made him feel as though he HAD to talk to her first.
He spots her close by her desk, talking to Sam and a younger guy. Steve would guess him to be around James’ age. He looks a little like Bucky, at least his build and the confidence exuding from him reminds Steve of Bucky.
But that can’t be his kid right? Sam said Y/N is 26 and that kid looks at least 16. Then again Sam did mention 3 teens.
Sam must have noticed him staring, “Steve, my man, come over here.”
Steve sighs, maybe he should have just left… He does make his way over there though. “Hey Sam, Y/N…” He turns to the kid and holds out a hand. “I am Steve Rogers.”
The kid doesn’t grab his hand, he actually looks at it as if he’d rather spit on him.
“Alexander,” Y/N sighs, “Manners.” She gives Steve and apologetic look.
“Fine,” The kid , Alexander mumbles, grabbing Steve’s hand. “I am Alexander Barnes, but everyone I like calls me Alex.”
“Alex nice to meet you.” Steve tries to hide his shock at the kids last name; Barnes… There is so much Steve doesn’t know.
“It’s Alexander for you.” His face is stern, almost angry. “Y/N can I please go,” he pleads.
Steve looks down and notices the fists Alex, Alexander, is making. “Did I do something wrong?”
Y/N and Sam both ignore the question, instead Y/N says a quick goodbye to both Sam and Alex, who proceed to walk out.
She than turns to Steve, “Sorry about that, he’s just uhm, heard stories.”
“About me?” Steve is surprised, if he thinks about it his kids know nothing about Bucky. God he even, without realizing it, named his first son James after the guy, but they don’t know that. God he didn’t even really know that himself.
“Of course, Buck always considered you his friend.” Y/N says, her smile still a little hostile. “Even after you ghosted him. I mean Caleb is named after you. Caleb Steven Barnes.”
It’s like a million little needles are forcefully getting pushed into Steve’s heart all at once. He really messed up with Bucky.
“But you know it’s whatever, because you didn’t meet Caleb. You met Alex and Alex is all anger towards anyone that ever even slightly wronged his father. You, Steve, are at the top of his hitlist.”
“Hitlist?” That sounds uhm, a little scary.
Y/N chuckles, “Well he calls it a hitlist, but it’s more of a shitlist. You know of people he just can’t stand.”
“I thought you said Bucky talked about me a lot?” Steve says, a little confused, “I figured since he named a kid after me that’s a positive thing?”
“Not necessarily, those kids grew up with the notion that you were some kind of amazing person, but as they got older they started to notice the pain behind Buck’s eyes when, Y/N takes deep breath, “You know what come by the house after school, Luke’s been there before he’ll tell you how to drive. I have a class to teach.”
Steve is a little baffled, but he doesn’t fight it. He just nods and walks away. She promised him answers in the afternoon. He’d just have to stay patient.