Sam Wilson is a man who oozes confidence. He’s someone who could walk up the most powerful man on earth with nothing but a small teaspoon to arm himself. He walks with his head hung high, his chest puffed, and he doesn’t falter when things don’t go his way.
Usually. You see, in the case of the pariah that is Bucky Barnes, Sam’s scared at how easy this natural confidence breaks down as soon as he sees his co-worker.
It’s hard because, for some reason, Bucky’s everywhere now. He’ll go missing for a week, at most, and suddenly, as Sam comes back from a run, he’s just there. He sits with Sarah, plays with the kids, and helps Sam out whenever he needs it. Bucky’s eyes always light up whenever Sam walks into a room, and it just does something to the Captain. His stomach bubbles up with this sort of funky feeling, as if a couple of butterflies have just started to fly inside him. It’s a mess, a mess he can’t control.
And when they go out on missions, Bucky’s fierce protectiveness is everything. Sam pretends to be annoyed (he does), but it always just floats away when he sees the look on Bucky’s face. Having someone like Bucky (admittedly the most gorgeous man Sam has ever met) care that much for him is a blessing, and he loves to see him all riled up.
Sam watches Bucky every day, and he swears that Bucky gets closer and closer every night. For example, when Bucky first slept at the Wilson’s house, he sat as close to Sarah as he could. Now, however, he’s basically sprawled across Sam’s lap, and he doesn’t seem to care that he is. The look that Sarah gives him makes him stare harder at the TV. And when Bucky’s hand finds its way into Sam’s, the man is even more confused (he, of course, reciprocates, and Bucky’s hand feels like heaven).
Bucky Barnes’ is an issue. This is what Sarah Wilson thinks; especially when she sees how in love her brother really is. He’s the sort of issue that’s not invasive or terribly irritating, but something that gets under your collar that you just want to flick off (or, in this case, kick up the ass; it’s an issue that could be easily solved if these two men weren’t so emotionally constipated). She figures it is time that she stepped in. She’s got to help her little brother out, after all (and she knows Sam is pining just as hard, if his response to the aforementioned flirting meant anything).
But, when she does, she notices something in Bucky’s face when she approaches them. It’s a sunny day, and her brother has his shirt off as they take the boat out on the water (the first time since they fixed it). Sam’s covered in water droplets, and Bucky’s eyes hungrily track the movement. He licks his lips, and Sarah takes this as a cue to run. As much as she wanted to help her brother, she didn’t consent to watch someone openly lust for him. Nope, that’s where she crosses the line.
Bucky thinks that Sam Wilson is the most gorgeous man that he’s ever met, and he’s so, so, lucky that Sam is his boyfriend. Yes, his boyfriend. Bucky believes that after the first cookout, the one he brought the cake too, Sam’s little pat and the way he held him meant that there was something between them. He was just confused why his boyfriend never held him, so he was beginning to up the ante. If his beautiful, gorgeous, loving, boyfriend was to sweet to make a move on him (Bucky assumed Sam was scared that he’d break him), then he would. So, that’s what he did.
Under the last week of Bucky’s ‘campaign’, they had increased their intimacy ten-fold. That meant they had held hands at least ten times. Now, Bucky wasn’t someone that usually took this long taking things to the next level… But if Sam Wilson was a traditional man, in that sense, then he didn’t mind. He just wished he’d look a little more interested at times.
And, what hurt Bucky the most, Sam hadn’t even indicated that he liked Bucky that much. Normally, at this stage of a relationship, his partner would’ve asked him out on a date or something. Bucky was always the one that initiated their plans, from taking the boys to the zoo, or trying a nearby restaurant.
On their six-month anniversary, or so Bucky thought, he brought Sam a bouquet of flowers and knocked on their front door with a love-sick look on his face. When Sam opened it, seeing the flowers, he tilted his head to the side (Bucky thought he looked adorable), and stepped to the side to let him in. Bucky walked straight to the kitchen, putting the flowers in the sink, as Sam stayed by the door.
“Hey, Buc-,” was all he got out, as Bucky crossed the room and kissed him.
Sarah walked into the moment. Seeing her brother’s wide eyes, Bucky’s forwardness, and the entire situation, would have made her crack up if she hadn’t been waiting so long for it. Bucky’s hand was on her brother’s hip, squeezing it. Sam didn’t see the new person in the room, as he had closed his eyes to kiss this man back. And what a kiss it was, Sarah wondered. It was obviously romantic, but it was still rough and heavy. It looked like something they both had been waiting for. She figured she should walk out, but it was over before she could make up her mind.
Bucky pulled away, all smiles, and Sam couldn’t look more confused. Suddenly, Sarah realised something. The way Bucky smiled, the flowers in the kitchen, the constant hand holding… Bucky Barnes totally thought he was in a loving relationship. Sam, her ever oblivious brother, had no idea.
“Bucky?” Sam questioned, licking over his lips. As much as he was confused, that feeling was Bucky. He had just kissed Bucky Barnes, and the man had been the one to initiate it. Sam had wanted this for so long, but he knew (well, thought) that the historical figure was very straight. Bucky being so excited to kiss another man definitely wasn’t in the museum when they last visited (now that he thought about that trip, Bucky walked around with him the entire day and watched him more than what was on display; was that a date?). “Uh, what was that?”
“What do you mean?” Bucky replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck with his metal arm. His face was flushed a cute pink, as he slowly blinked at the man stood in front of him. “I, uh, figured you know- because of today- that we could finally take the next step…”
“Today?” Sam asked, “The next step? Buck, I’m confused…”
Bucky stepped away, moving his hand away from Sam’s hip as if it burnt him. His eyes darted across to Sarah, who was still stood in the doorway. He gulped, turning around, and rushing out of the door with a speed Sam had never seen. Sam was stood, frozen, as Bucky got further and further away. What on earth had just happened?
“You’re an idiot, Sam,” Sarah laughed, walking up to her brother. She slapped him over the shoulder, chuckling more when he returned an offended look. “Do you need me to spell it out for you?” she asked, rolling her eyes as her brother nodded his head. “God, you two could really do with more of those therapy sessions. Honestly…”
“Would you just get to it, Sarah?” Sam mumbled, finally turning around to look her in the eye (which meant looking away from Bucky, who was now deep into the woods where Sam trained for Cap). When his big sister gave him a pointed look, he huffed. “Please?”
“Bucky thought that you two were in a committed, loving, relationship,” She said, crossing her arms over her chest. “That’s why he kissed you and said that he wanted to take the next step. Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t put two and two together earlier. If I didn’t know you so well, I’d assume that you were too.”
“Woah,” Sam replied, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “No,” he added, eyes looking over to the flowers. “Surely not. I would’ve noticed. How- I mean- did he really think that?”
As Sam continued to freak out, Sarah stepped over and looked at the flowers in the sink. ‘Happy 6 months anniversary Sam, love Bucky,’ read the little note attached, and Sarah would’ve lost it if this was under the normal circumstances (if both parts of the relationship knew that the relationship even existed). When she showed the note to her brother, he would’ve stared at it for hours if she didn’t yell at him to go run after his love. And as she watched him run away, she rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of the situation.
Idiots.
Sam was out of breath when he finally saw Bucky. It was darker now, as it took him a long time to find the super soldier who was so stealthy and quick. The man was sat by a tree, and his eyes were locked onto the curves embedded into his metal arm. He clenched and re-clenched his fist, a strained scowl over his face. However angry (at himself) he was, Sam also saw the shame in his face. He saw the way he looked at himself in disgust, or how he couldn’t look up even as he knew Sam walked over.
“Bucky,” Sam said. His voice stuttered as he spoke, reminding him how Bucky Barnes always made him feel less confident than he usually was. “Hey.”
“Don’t,” Bucky simply said, turning around so that his body wasn’t facing Sam’s. When Sam just walked around and followed him as he turned, he hid his face in his hands. “Please don’t pity me, it’s already embarrassing enough,” he mumbled, and Sam could barely hear him through his fingers.
Sam knelt beside him, taking Bucky’s hand in his. He let go of one of them, using it to grip the man’s chin. He gently pushed it up, forcing Bucky to look him in the eye. “Hey sweetheart,” he whispered, giving him a soft smile. He took his other hand again, raising his knuckles to his lips. He gently kissed Bucky’s knuckles, making the man flush again for the second time that day. “There’s no reason to be embarrassed.”
“No reason?!” Bucky laughed (at himself), as he looked up at the handsome man. “Sam, are you serious? I thought we were dating for six months. How stupid do I gotta be? Like someone as gorgeous as you would ever go for me in the first place…”
“Baby,” Sam said, a little taken back. “You have to know that you’re the most gorgeous man on this planet, right?” When Bucky looked up with a confused look, biting his lip, Sam scoffed and put his hand over the man’s jaw again. He brushed it gently with his thumb, liking his lips (and finally he had the Sam Wilson confidence back). “You’re the measure of beauty amongst men. I mean- look at that hair! And those eyes? Those steel blue eyes let you know where home is. They’re my safe place, baby, those beautiful eyes.”
“Sam…” Bucky said, chuckling underneath his breath, “Do you really mean that?”
“Buck, it’s not something I can mean. It’s just a fact. It’s not even a matter of opinion,” He mumbled, but he saw in Bucky’s eyes that he needed to hear it. “Course I mean it, sweetheart,” he added at the end.
They sat together in silence, Sam’s hand over his jaw. Bucky’s eyes flickering over his face, landing mostly on the man’s lips. It was just them, and the sounds of the birds chattering in the air, and it was felt tense and romantic. Bucky just looked so vulnerable, and Sam felt guilty to ask him about it all. But he wanted to know.
Sam let go of Bucky, sitting down beside him against the trunk of the tree. “So- the elephant in the room… Why did you think we were in a relationship?”
Bucky sighed. He knew he had to tell Sam, considering he just kissed him, but he was so scared. He was only able to speak when he felt Sam’s hand in his. “When Karli died, and we came back here… you looked at me like there was something going on between us. We hugged. We laughed. Then you didn’t pull away when I held your hand, and you always said yes when I asked you out on dates.”
“Dates?”
“You know… when we took the boys to the zoo and we went to that restaurant that you told me you liked,” Bucky said, picking at the grass by the side of him, as Sam’s eyes burnt into the side of his face.
“Sweetheart… you’re so cute,” Sam chuckled, wrapping his arm around the other man’s shoulder. He kissed Bucky on the side of his head, “I’m so sorry I didn’t see it. But, just for the record, if we’re out with the boys then it’s not a date. That’s babysitting.”
“Oh,” Bucky chuckled, “And, uh, its okay. So… does that mean you’ll want to go on other dates? Real ones?”
“Course I do,” Sam laughed, “I mean- come on, look at you.”
“Look at you,” Bucky mumbled, “How can I be good enough for you, Sam? You’re gorgeous. But you’re also kind, selfless, and brave, and you’re everything to me. You’re my family, the only connection that I have to the earth. I just always want to be around you, Sammy…”
“Guess that wouldn’t be a drag,” Sam winked, “Seriously, though… You’ve been through so much, Bucky, yet you don’t let it ruin your beautiful personality. You are gorgeous, yes, but you’re so much more than that. I want you to understand that baby.”
Bucky looked up at Sam, leaning up so that they were face to face. Bucky rested his forehead against his, their lips only inches away from each other. He squeaked when Sam picked him up, so that he was sat on top of his lap (and no couch could ever be as firm or as soft as these thighs, Bucky thought). Bucky put his hands on top of Sam’s shoulder, gently rubbing the bit of exposed skin he could see from underneath his t-shirt. Sam smirked, putting one hand on his thigh.
“Today’s our six-month anniversary, huh?” Sam whispered. Bucky nodded, embarrassed, but it just made Sam smile more. “Guess that means we can do a lot more than just kiss, hm?”
“I would’ve done that on the first date, Wilson. Just thought you were traditional,” Bucky laughed, gasping when he felt Sam placing a trail of kisses up and down his jaw, as he simultaneously gently ran his hand up and down Bucky’s thigh. “Guess I thought wrong.”
“Baby, I’m the furthest thing from traditional,” He whispered against Bucky’s skin, making the man shiver all over. “Let me show you how.”
They ran to the house, not wanting to traumatise anybody who might walk past. Shutting the door of Sam’s bedroom, all Bucky could think was finally.
And when they did finally celebrate their real six months, Bucky brought Sam a happy one-year card. Being able to tease his boyfriend (for real) that he would always be six months ahead of him was something he relished in. Sam did not. He did, however, get the upper hand when he was the one to propose on their second year (in Sam’s timeline).
And what a couple they were.