Chapter 8
it was great having steve at the oncology centre with him as tony realized. he knew some of the faces in the waiting room; moms with kids who had cancer, kids with moms who had cancer and the odd person who came alone.
drawing blood was quick and easy and the results didn’t take longer than a few minutes.
“tony?” the nurse called him to his oncologist’s office. she never said his full name, the media would simply blow up if people knew who he really was.
steve stayed seated when his boyfriend got up, but tony pulled him up after himself. steve got the quiet link and introduced himself simply as ‘steve’ when he sat down next to tony across from dr. banner.
tony saw a shocking card on bruce’s desk; an obituary for a five year old boy tony had got to know when he was first diagnosed and stayed at the hospital for a couple of days. “khalil passed?”
bruce sighed. “yes. he never finished the second round of chemo.”
“oh. tell his mom i’m deeply sorry and to call me if she needs any help paying for the funeral.”
“i will tony, thank you. but now, we’ve got some things to talk about.”
in a very sober tone, dr. banner explained to tony that despite the momentary positive effects, his last treatment hadn’t been very effective, and that he was suggesting another therapy.
“since it’s been two years since we’ve tried number 3, i want to suggest another four weeks on that. it was your most effective of all seven.”
tony shook his head. “no.”
“i know what happened the last time tony but you know how good you felt afterwards, for months.” yeah, howard had called dr. banner and told him the whole thing, worried that it might be some sort of complication with the treatment. tony still had to forgive him for that.
the teenager blushed a deep red. the treatment had taken a lot out of him then, and there were a lot more embarrassing moments he all but wanted to forget.
“you could go stay with your parents again, or maybe you have someone else to take care of you, here?” dr. banner asked tony, glancing at steve swiftly.
“i can’t afford losing all that time during the semester, bruce,” tony said with a shake to his voice that caught steve’s attention as well.
“then talk to your teachers, your counsellor,” bruce urged and saw the two exchange a grin.
it was an hour later when tony and steve climbed into the teenager’s lamborghini with a month’s worth of the drug in a bag steve placed in the trunk.
“can we please drive for a bit?” tony asked and steve nodded, knowing exactly where he would take the boy.
“what happened last time?”
“wow, didn’t take you long to ask,” tony laughed. they had only just gotten on the highway up north. he’d promised bruce however that he would make sure he was taken care of, and he didn’t exactly want to stay away from steve for four weeks. “okay. i am only telling you this because i’m too tired to think clearly.”
“whatever it is tony, you’re very sick. i would never judge you for what happens when a treatment messes you up.”
“i was fourteen and exhausted and, well, it makes you sleep. a lot. i uh… pissed my bed.” he’d whispered the last part, so steve asked him to repeat. “i pissed my bed,” tony said loudly. “my old man had to help me clean up because i couldn’t fucking move my limbs.”
“that’s all?” steve asked, his tone a little amused.
tony shrugged in response. “i guess.” aside from all the throwing up on himself, a lot of tantrums and the occasional two hour nose bleed.
“alright, we can deal with that here, can’t we?” steve asked then.
tony took a shutter breath while he looked out on the open road. “i want my parents.” saying those words made tony’s eyes water for reasons he couldn’t explain.
“okay,” steve said with a shrug.
“i’ll tell them and invite you over once i’ve gotten in a routine but i’ll be mostly out of conscience for a couple days. i don’t want you to see me that way.” the teenager started biting on his finger nails then, anxious about steve’s reaction.
“of course, whatever you need,” the counsellor said with a clear voice and no undertone, then pulled tony’s hand from his mouth and intertwined his fingers with the boy’s, placing the two hands in his lap.
the two drove out of boston and steve stopped the car at a little restaurant by a rough looking part of the coast. “we’re getting you brunch,” he announced to tony.
the first few days of spring went by quickly, too fast for tony’s liking because he’d start treatment the week after, and his parents were arriving on sunday night, which would be the last night he could see steve for a while.
the teenager almost fucking cried when he said goodbye to steve as he left the apartment shortly before his parents’ arrival. “it’s only a few days,” steve assured. tony was sure his parents wouldn’t react badly to his coming out. he’d grown up with gay family friends and had never heard a single homophobic word out of howard and maria’s mouth, not even jokingly. they were young parents after all, barely older than steve himself. and also, with steve, the teenager had a lot to show for.
howard hugged tony very tight when he stepped through the elevator. “you look thin,” the man commented.
“i know, i’ll fix it.”
maria wasn’t drunk and coming to think of it, she had come out of rehab just a few weeks back. he and steve had moved all the alcohol tony had in his apartment into steve’s for just that reason.
“mom, you look good,” tony said honestly as he hugged the woman.
tony took his first pill the next day after lunch when howard was staying with him and maria had a last meeting in the city before she’d be there full time for a week.
the teenager did piss his bed again, but he had expected it, practically waited for it to happen and successfully wasn’t all upset like the last time. howard seemingly had too, because the mattress beneath the sheet was covered in plastic and a fresh set of pajamas was ready inside the ensuite bathroom already.
“sorry,” tony mumbled when he sat in the bathtub.
“don’t worry,” howard assured. “we both know it’s the meds.”
tony nodded then and closed his eyes. “thank you,” he whispered after a while. “for being here, i mean.”
howard didn’t know what to say because he couldn’t exactly pretend for this to be a natural thing he’d do. and when tony opened his eyes next, howard’s were full of tears, making the teenager’s heart rate pick up on speed. “what’s wrong?”
“i’m not sure,” the man responded. and exactly how would he tell tony this? that his heart ached for time they’d never shared. that he should have taken care of tony as a kid, that he now enjoyed having someone dependent on him but the reason for that was so tragic he wished it wasn’t happening. “i’m glad we’re finding some sort of a curve to our relationship. i missed out on so much when you were a kid and i regret it.”
tony didn’t say much more, and then howard was done washing him and lifted the teenager out of the tub, wrapping him in a big towel before setting him down on the rim of the tub. howard got his son dressed back in pajamas quickly. “me too,” the teenager finally whispered and then howard was crying, and tony’s eyes filled with tears as well.
tony opened his arms in order to be lifted into an embrace, which howard understood and they hugged for a while before tony was put into an arm chair by his bed.
howard took care of the laundry and put fresh bedsheets on. then he put tony back to bed and upon his wish lay down with him.
tony woke the next day between his parents and again, it felt so right. he reached over his mother to grab his phone and find a few new text messages from steve, whom he hadn’t answered since the day before.
silently and very slowly, tony got up from the bed and carefully exited the room as not to disturb anyone. then he tried his luck and called steve’s office at mit.
“tony,” steve said happily upon picking up. “how was your night?”
“exhausting, but i feel a lot better,” the teenager said while blushing deeply. steve could figure.
“i’m glad,” steve said. “and i miss you.”
“me too,” tony said with a sigh. “i’ll tell them at breakfast. sleep over tonight?”
“i’d love to,” steve said.
then they talked for a while until howard stepped into the living room area and tony hung up.
“breakfast?” the man asked and tony nodded in response. he sat down in his usual spot at the table howard started to set.
maria joined the two a few minutes later and kissed the top of tony’s head.
the two adults finished setting the table and sat down across from their son.
tony was so nervous he had to tell them right then. “mom, dad,” he started and howard’s eyes lit up. the teenager decided he would start using that word to address his father again. “there’s something i need to tell you.”
“anything,” howard said and placed his hands at the side of his plate.
“something wrong?” maria asked and looked at her son with concern.
“no no, not at all,” tony assured. “there’s someone i want you to meet. he studied psychology at harvard and uh… we’ve been dating for a few weeks.” and now tony’s heart was beating rapidly but only until he saw howard smile at maria.
“what’s his name?” howard asked then and tony breathed a sigh of relief.
“steve,” he said with a blush. “steve rogers.”
“so stephanie is steve?” maria asked and upon tony’s nod got up and walked around the table to kiss the top of his head and hug him. “how is he?”
“he’s… beautiful. he’s mature and honest and so caring.”
“how old is he?” howard asked when he remembered tony had said he was finished at harvard. “and what does he do?”
“he’s 25 and a counsellor in the engineering department. sometimes he gives lectures in human factors. we checked, it’s all legal.” tony was suddenly worried now that his parents might not approve of the age difference or their statuses at school.
howard chuckled. “i figured. our intellect requires women the same age or older men. people who don’t bore us.”
and tony breathed another breath of relief. “have you…” maria asked then, because they’d never had to have ‘the talk’ with tony. he’d been moved out by the time he reached that stage of puberty, and with the cancer and all there had been some things in the way.
“yeah,” the boy nodded. “not all there is though. and there was a girl on hawaii before him too.” tony went into detail because for one, he wanted his parents to know he liked girls too, and for the other he wanted to let them know he’d lost his virginity so they wouldn’t come with talks about it.