"You're sure you can handle this," Natasha asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Of course," Clint said, glancing over at Liho. "Liho and I are buds."
Natasha's eyes narrowed. "Don't destroy my place."
"Of course not," Clint agreed.
Natasha turned on her heels, picking up her bags, and muttering under her breath. Clint was pretty sure it was 'Don't make me regret this' or maybe 'I'm going to regret this'. Regret was definitely used.
Clint glanced at Liho, Liho looked back at him.
"We got this," Clint said to her.
***Day 1***
Clint wasn't going to call Phil. He was absolutely not going to call Phil. It didn't matter that he couldn't find Liho. Liho was a cat, cats did things like this? Right? Right?!
There was no cat in any of the places that Clint could see. Not on the couch, the catstand, or Natasha's bed. Clint rattled Liho's dish, no cat. He called for her, no cat.
After what felt like hours (really only like ten minutes), Clint did the only thing he could do. He called Phil.
"I thought I told you I wasn't helping with the cat," Phil said in lieu of an actual greeting.
"What cat?" Clint said. "There is no cat!"
There was a pause and Clint could picture Phil pinching his nose. In fact,Clint counted to eight when Phil finally spoke, which meant Phil had counted to ten. "I take it you can't find Liho."
"No."
"Where have you looked?"
"Everywhere!"
"Under the bed? Under the couch?"
Clint tried to move silently as he went to lean over to look under the couch. "There is no…"
"Liho is black, you'll need a flashlight," Phil said. "She blends."
Clint frowned and eyed the room. He didn't think that Phil had any access to whatever hidden cameras Natasha had set up.
"No, I'm not watching you on a hidden camera. I know you're not a cat person."
Clint glared at the phone. He put in speaker and turned on the flashlight, so that he could peer under the couch. "Well, there's no cat under the couch."
"Mmm," Phil hummed.
Clint got up and headed into Natasha room to peer under the bed. "No cat under Nat's bed." He went to look under the guest bed and… "No cat under the guest bed, so now what?"
Phil sighed. "I'll be over in ten."
"Thank you."
Exactly ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Clint opened it and let Phil in.
"Thank you," Clint said as Phil stepped in, closing the door.
"Meow," came from behind him.
Clint turned to find Liho sitting on the steps.
"I found the cat," Phil said and went to open the door.
Clint reached out and grabbed his arm to give him a quick kiss. "Love you."
"Love you too. I'm leaving this allergen infested hellhole." Phil said, stepping outside.
Clint turned and glanced back to find that Liho had disappeared… again. Clint sighed.
***Day 2***
After a day of searching for the cat, Clint had gone to sleep. Only to be woken up by Liho, meowing loudly.
"Liho, I'm trying to sleep!" Clint whined.
"MRRROOOOOWWWW"
"No, sleep now,"
"MOW!!"
"I fed you," Clint whined.
"MARRROWW!"
Clint groaned, wrapping the pillow around his head, before somehow managing to fall asleep.
He was not expecting something to land with sharp claws out on his stomach so that air was forced out of his lungs. Clint was suddenly and violently awakened by both the impact and the tiny daggers digging into skin.
"What the fuck, Liho?!" Clint growled into the darkness.
"MROW!" the darkness echoed back.
***Day 3***
Apparently Liho only came out under the cover of darkness, because Clint hadn't been able to find her the following day. He hadn't even called Phil in another panic, but he had texted him. Of course, Liho had woken Clint up in the middle of the night, making some god awful noise only to be followed by expelling something that Clint didn't want to think about. Liho had taken one look at it and bolted out of the room.
Regardless, the comforter was in the washer now and since Clint had no idea where any spare bedding and there was no way he was going to risk Natasha's wrath by going in her room without her express permission. He was up, waiting for the washer to finish and for it go in the dryer as he "doom scrolled" social media.
***Day 4***
Clint was awakened by the shattering of glass and discovered Liho on the end table by the couch, looking down at the shards.
"Marow?" Liho said, looking at Clint expectantly.
The glass was Clint's fault, he'd forgotten to put it away before he went to bed.
"Stay there," Clint instructed, because no, the cat could not get injured because of broken glass. Clint hesitated and then took a flying leap over the damage to get to the door where his shoes were and then he got to work, cleaning up Liho's mess.
Liho watched him like overlord she was, and to Clint's estimation, seemed pleased by Clint's labors.
***Day 5***
Death From Above II: Genital Mutilation, well near genital mutilation as far as Clint could tell. Clint vowed to have Phil give it the full inspection the next day. Natasha would be home and Clint would be clear of pet sitting and wouldn't be volunteering for it again anytime soon.
"You're a vampire," Clint said to the empty house as he finished cleaning the litter box. He still hadn't seen Liho before the sun went down, but she was using the box like a good girl and her food was getting eaten.
***Day 6***
Clint awoke to a heavy weight on the small of his back. He reached back and touched fur. Gently stroking it, he heard and felt Liho's purrs. Clint drifted back to sleep. When he got up, He fed her and went for his run. By the time, she came back, Liho was gone.
Natasha arrived at 3 pm. "Where is she?"
"I have no idea where your vampire cat is, she only torments me at night," Clint answered, giving her a rundown of his time.
Natasha smiled, going over to her chair and lifting a blanket. "Hi Liho."
Clint's eyes widened. "No, she has not."
"She likes to sleep under the blanket," Natasha said, slipping her hand under the blanket.
Clint leaned over Natasha's shoulders to meet sleepy golden eyes. He glared at the little face, who was leaning into Natasha's touch. "Yeah, I'm going home to my dog that doesn't try to castrate me in the middle of the night and my boyfriend that loves me."
"Remember to shower first," Natasha said. "Wash off the allergens off."
Clint nodded.
"Hey Clint, thanks for looking after her." She gave him a soft smile.
"You're welcome," Clint said, becoming less upset, but bolted out the door as Liho emerged from her blanket cocoon to mew at Natasha.
By the time Phil got home from work, Clint was freshly showered and worn out from roughhousing with Lucky. The dog was curled up at his feet, accepting feet pets.
"Welcome home," Phil said. "Have a good time?"
"I have never been so happy that you're allergic to cats," Clint replied. "Dogs are so much easier."
Phil laughed, leaning over the dog to give Clint a kiss. Clint tugged at him until he toppled into the couch, narrowly avoiding Lucky, because the man was a badass.
"By the way, I need you to check to make sure Liho didn't damage the goods, she got really close. Everything looks fine, but I could really use a detailed assessment."
Phil's fingers slipped underneath the waistband of Clint's pants. "I can do that."