Chapter 18
"Frosting." I turn to grab the ingredients only to see Clint and Laura had already made it and they look at me sheepishly.
"It OK that we made the frosting for you?" I smile and nod.
"Thanks." My phone starts ringing and I answer it. "Hello?"
"Hey, Razzle Dazzle! What did she like to drink?" Tony asks and I think.
"Hm... Well, she was just a teenager... Oh, right! She loved that chocolate drink, Yoohoo. She'd drink, like, five or ten bottles in a row and then throw up because, well, she drank five or ten bottles of it in a row," I laugh and he chuckles.
"You got it. Later." He hangs up and I slip my phone into my back jeans pocket.
"We come bearing gifts!" Tony yells as he comes back with Happy at the same time the timer goes off and Thor comes in as Bucky is helping me frost the cake.
"What is going on?"
"We're having a party for Keiko Emyrada."
"I was under the impression she was dead...?"
"Well, yeah... But, this is to, like... Remember her? Shut up, Thor. Or you don't get cake," I say simply with a glare as I point the frosting-covered spatula at him and he raises his hands slightly.
"My apologies. Please, allow me a piece of the cake."
"I guess you can have some because you apologized," I joke and finish frosting the cake with Bucky, not noticing how the others smiled. "There!" I smile and look at it. "Should we put candles in it?"
"If you want to. Who would blow them out, though?" Steve asks reasonably and I nod.
"That's fair. How are the steaks coming?"
"Depends on how you like them."
"There's only one way to eat steaks. It has to bleed and still moo."
"Still moo?" Steve pauses in messing with the steaks to look at me and I shrug, blushing a bit.
"It's how Keiko would describe it," I mumble and rub the back of my neck awkwardly. He nods and cooks one for a bit longer before cutting it.
"How's that?"
"Is that the perfect example of a still mooing piece of steak?" Bucky asks and I nod, warmth continuing to spread through my body from my chest despite being a little embarrassed by the teasing. "Then there's your piece." He plates it up and gives me a baked sweet potato too. "We're going to cook ours longer so we don't get food poisoning."
"You won't get food poisoning. I never did. Live a little, Bucky. I mean, you're already over a hundred years old, what harm would a steak medium rare do?" He rolls his eyes and I grin, getting butter out of the fridge.
"I'll take my steak the same way as hers," Happy says and I smile more.
"See? Someone else knows the proper way to eat a steak." Steve rolls his eyes and gives Happy a steak cooked medium rare with a sweet potato. I sit in the living room on the floor and watch them, smiling a bit.
"Alright. Eat up! Cuz after this, it's time for cake," Tony says seriously and I laugh, shaking my head slightly. The others sit in the living room, each of them with a Yoohoo, and the warm feeling finally reaches my fingers and toes as the kids talk to each other.
"It cool if I say something real quick?" I ask awkwardly and they all look at me.
"Well, we are on your floor. So... Yeah," Tony chuckles and I run a hand through my hair.
"I, um... I..." I rub my face slightly and let out a soft scoff. "Why is it so hard to say now?"
"Take your time, kid," Bucky says patiently and I run a hand through my hair again, taking a deep breath.
"I just wanna say thanks, mainly..."
"Why was that so hard to say? You tell the AI's thank you all the time," Vision points out and I nod.
"Yeah, I know. Um... I think it's the reason behind why I'm saying it, maybe...?"
"How?" Sam asks and I rub my neck, getting a little embarrassed again.
"I didn't put that much thought into what I was gonna do today... Just figured I'd fail at making a cake, watch the pride parade, maybe do the chants with them, probably try and fail to get drunk, and just be... Y'know... Sad and depressed... Then, you guys came up and checked on me... And let me talk about her without interrupting me and helped me make her favorite meal and cake... And..." I look at Bucky and he raises an eyebrow slightly. "Y'know that feeling you were talking about earlier and how it would get to my fingers and toes and I'd end up feeling like shit?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
"You guys doing all of this, helping me with it, and just chilling out with me... It's like that feeling, but... Good and warm, I guess...? And... It's kind of a weird feeling to have after years of not having it... Cuz, I never had it like this with the Ravagers or the Guardians... So... Thanks," I finish kind of lamely and mess with my fingers a bit as they don't respond.
"Alright." Tony stands and comes over, easing himself onto the floor next to me before he awkwardly hugs me. "I've adopted another kid that makes me want to cry with their logic." I laugh at that and return the hug awkwardly.
"Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake, Tony."
"Ruining the moment, Razzle Dazzle. Ruining it." He pats my back and we let each other go so we can eat.
"I got a question. Can you hack into a phone that hasn't been active for... Twenty-four years?" I ask once we're all done eating and he looks at me, suspicious.
"I can hack into the cloud that it was connected to. Why?"
"Can you show me how to?"
"Once more. Why?"
"Cuz reasons that will be clear as soon as it's done. Please?" He pulls up a holo-keyboard and types a few things, bringing it over to me.
"Put in the number." I think hard for a moment before slowly typing in the number and nodding after it's in. He clicks the enter button and the cloud storage pops up on the screen above it. "Oh. Now I get it." I nod and look at the storage from the phone. "Looked like she loved to take pictures and videos." I nod again and look at them. "It alright if we look through them and watch the videos?"
"I'd like that," I whisper and he nods.
"JARVIS, movie theater mode and TV off." The windows get darker and so does the living room while the TV turns off, a screen coming down from the ceiling before the cloud storage is projected on it.
"You hacked into your sister's phone?" Steve asks in disbelief and I run a hand through my hair.
"Yeah... Not sure if you noticed back at the cabin, but... There weren't any pictures anywhere... I took them with me at some point and had them scattered among my Quarters... So... I don't currently have any pictures of my Mom or sister," I explain as my throat gets tighter from the threat of tears and I swallow a bit.
"OK. That's fair. Do they have stories behind them?" Bucky asks and Tony clicks the oldest one, going through them at a steady pace.
"Some do... Some don't... Some I don't know..." He plays a video of my first steps and I watch the younger me fall into Mom's arms before I'm spun around, both of us waving at the camera before Keiko's face enters the frame.
"Hey, older Razi! Look at how cute you are and how smart, too! Already starting to walk at five months! And Mom says that you talk too, but it must be another language cuz I don't understand a word you say! But you're so adorable when you do!"
"Keiko, it's almost time to eat! Come help me with Razi!"
"OK, Mom! Bye, older Razi! Love ya!" She blows a kiss to the camera before the video ends and I rest my chin on my knee, watching as the pictures go through. Another video comes and Tony plays it.
"Hey again, older Razi! It's been a minute, huh?" Keiko was at least nine now, which meant... "Thing's have been crazy, though. Mom's gone, we're with crazy grandparents, I've gotta protect you from them... But, I know that none of that's gonna matter. Just you wait! I'm gonna graduate high school at the top of my class and I'm gonna take you far, far away from this place and our crazy grandparents! I'm gonna keep you safe! Even if it kills me!" There was yelling and crying off-camera and she looks that way. "I gotta go now! Bye, older Razi! Love ya!" She blows a quick kiss to the camera as it ends and there are fewer pictures of younger me.
"Did she stop taking pictures of you?" Clint asks, confused, and I look at the screen.
"Kinda. She just took fewer because she hated it when I was hurt and didn't want any reminders of it." The next thing is a picture of us when we skipped school that day and I smile a bit. "We got ice cream that day from a truck that had a new person, not from the town... They were chill with me then and got drove out of town when they wouldn't stop selling to me... Those people are fucking insane..."
"If only they could see you now," Steve says simply and I scoff.
"Yeah, if only. I know you saw that memory of a teenager trying to look in my pants to see if I had 'special stuff' since I was a huge freak. Them seeing me now would only solidify that belief." I look at the screen and see another video, tilting my head slightly before Tony plays it.
"Run, my little Captain Gonzales, run!" Keiko's voice yells as she laughs while a younger me struggles to run up a hill and she cheers me on. "Come on! You can do it! Kick your asthma right in the head!" Younger me makes it to the top and yells in victory.
"YEAH!" Keiko laughs more and comes into the frame.
"Hey, older Razi! It's been a minute!"
"I thought your asthma was awful?" Steve asks and I nod.
"Just wait."
"Sorry, it's been so long! Young you is just trying to drive me into an early grave! Like- Crud! Razi!" She runs toward younger me as I was struggling to breathe from that little bit of a run and sets her phone down against a rock. "Alright, hang on. Where is you dang inhaler, kid?"
"Don't have it," Younger me wheezes and Keiko sighs.
"See what I have to deal with, older Razi? Say hi, Razi."
"Hi, Razi..."
"Glad to see you've still got your charm even when you can barely breathe, my little Captain Gonzales. You're lucky I always carry one of your inhalers on me."
"My... Hero..."
"Hardy har. Breathe it in. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Breathe out. Again." She helps me use a rescue inhaler and it takes five tries before I can breathe semi-normally. Then another five to breathe normally and Keiko sighs, dropping onto the ground. "You're trying to give me a heart attack, y'know that?"
"Awe, I'm amazing, though."
"Brat."
"You love me, though."
"Yeah, I do. Say bye, Razi."
"Bye, Razi."
"Very funny. Bye, older Razi! Love ya!" She blows a kiss at the camera and drops a kiss on my forehead before the video ends.
"Damn. You almost died from running up a small hill?" Bucky asks and I nod. "And I thought you pre-serum was bad," He mutters to Steve and he nods his agreement.
"As you know from earlier though, it's still active when I inhale smoke."
"Wait, when did you inhale smoke?"
"Trying to make breakfast. Didn't go smoothly."
"You started a huge kitchen fire."
"Exactly. Didn't go smoothly."
"Looks like we reached the end of the pictures and videos. That video was the last one."
"Yeah. It was the day before... Yeah." I run a hand through my hair and look at the cloud storage. "Could you send this stuff to me? I wanna have the pictures of us together and the videos." Tony nods and my phone dings a moment later with all of the files. "Thanks." He nods again and puts the floor back to normal, TV coming back on as people in the parade start to chant. "There is one more tradition that we must do and there is no amount of negotiating that will get you out of it." I stand and easily swing Morgan onto my back. "Chants!"
"Not happening," Tony says and I shrug, looking back at Morgan.
"You in?"
"Not sure what this is, but yeah!"
"Follow my lead and you'll be fine."
"OK." I set her down and start to march the length of the living room with Morgan following me.
"They chant, we chant. OK?"
"OK. Let's do it." I smile at her and march the length of the living room with her still, listening to the parade. "I know this! My teacher would use it to get us to pay attention!
"Oh, and I like this chant. Who are the people-" I start.
"Dancing in the street?" Morgan continues.
"Who are the people-" I smile at her.
"Dancing to the beat?" She smiles back.
"Who are the people-"
"Singing in the gale?"
"It's an army of lovers! An army of lovers! And an army of lovers can not FAIL!" We chant together, yelling the last word louder for the Hell of it, and I smile.
"You two are insane," Tony scoffs and we stick our tongues out at him as the next chant starts.
"Oh! I know this one too! Can I start it?"
"Sure, kid."
"We're the women!" She starts and I smile.
"That's right!"
"We're the men!"
"Let's shout!"
"We are the people!"
"Yeah!"
"That you were warned about," We chant together and Morgan was smiling so widely.
"On your sidewalks!" I continue and she smiles.
"That's right!"
"In your dreams!"
"Every night!"
"We are the people!"
"Yeah!"
"That you were warned ABOUT!" Peter and Michelle join in and I punch the air slightly in victory as we march the length of the living room still
"One, two, three, four! What the Hell are we marching for? Equal rights and nothing more! So come on folks, let's hear you roar!" I chant with the others saying it after me and Bucky shrugs, joining. "Hell yeah!" I give him a high five and he chuckles, shaking his head slightly. I look at Peter and he shakes his head quickly, making me shrug in response.
"Five, six, seven, eight! Stop the lies and stop the hate! Open your eyes, it's not too late! Show your pride and celebrate!" Bucky chants nearly as loud as I do and Steve was watching fondly while I was having a blast. "We are the people in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood! Yes, we are the people in your neighborhood! The people that you meet, when you're walking down the street! The people that you meet each day!"
"I got one," Bucky says and I look at him, motioning for him to take the lead. "Do you know your boss is straight? Are you really certain? Could it be your boss is here, wrapped in a curtain?"
"Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you really sure?" The rest of us chant together and the other kids had joined while Steve continues to watch. Clint, Natasha, Bruce, and Scott join too.
"Are you sure your teacher's straight, as a piece of chalk? Could it be your teacher's here, just around the block?"
"Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you really sure?"
"Are you sure your doctor's straight? What about your brother? See those women up ahead? One of them's your mother!"
"Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you really sure?" Bucky joins us chanting for the last chorus and we keep that up for a while.
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By the time we stop, everyone had joined and Steve had materialized a rainbow flag from somewhere, wrapping it around him and Bucky. I look at the time and take my medicine for noon before we all sit around the island to enjoy the cake. "Question," Michelle says as she eats her cake and I look at her, raising an eyebrow slightly as I take a bite of my cake. "When are the two of you going to kiss, kiss, fall in love?" I inhale a piece and cough it back up quickly. "Well?"
"What the Hell, dude?"
"I'm not a dude."
"Dude is a gender-neutral term."
"So you'd fuck dudes?" Peter asks as I'm taking a drink of my Yoohoo and it shocks me so much I somehow make it come out of my nose. "Are you OK?"
"No! Doing that burns... Why must you two do this to me?" I take the napkin from Vision and wipe off my face. "I hate you both."
"That's fair. But you didn't answer my question."
"Yes...? I think? I don't know."
"Let's try this way." Michelle points to Pietro and I look at him. "Hot?"
"I like this game very much," He smirks at me and I roll my eyes. "Well?"
"Yes." Peter points to Wanda.
"Hot?"
"Also yes."
"I'm sorry, what?" Pietro looks at me and I smirk.
"Not so fun now, is it? Bitch," I mutter and he chuckles softly. Michelle shows me a picture of Demi Lovato and I look at it.
"They go by they/them pronouns. Hot?"
"Yes." Michelle puts her phone up and smirks at me. "Shit. Am I pan?"
"Possibly."
"Shit. Bro, it's too early to be questioning sexuality like this..."
"Dude, it's almost one in the afternoon and you're almost thirty-five. Get your shit together," She responds with a smirk and I press my fingertips to my temples, staring at the island.
"That would explain so much, though... But... Oh my God... Everything makes so much sense now..."
"Are you OK?" I let out a sound that's not even remotely human and Tony looks at the couple. "You broke Razzle Dazzle. What's the rule?"
"Don't break people's brains," Peter recites with a sigh and I take a deep breath, getting my head on right again.
"I've only been with guys though. Wait... Would Loki have been genderfluid?"
"Loki was Loki," Thor explains unhelpfully and I drop my head onto the island, giving up. I slowly melt to be laying on the floor and stare at the ceiling. "Are you alright?"
"I'm gonna lay here for a while... And analyze every single moment in my life... To figure out how I didn't realize this possibility sooner..."
"Well, you were in space for a majority of your life. Blame that," May says and I hold a thumbs-up in the air, staying on the floor. "I tried." They watch me just lay there and Pietro was concerned.
"How does it feel knowing your crush believes I'm hot?" Wanda smirks and he looks at her, giving her a mock glare.
"It does not bother me." He looks at me when I sit up and rub my face. "Better?"
"Slightly. Hey."
"Yes?"
"Date me."
"I'm sorry, what?" He looks at me with wide eyes and I stare at him even as my face heats.
"I... I mean... You... Y'know... Date...? Never mind. I'm going to bed. My brain hurts."
"Good idea." I stand and go to my room, collapsing in my bed before passing out.