Chapter 16
I lean against the bike as I wait for Pietro and he zooms over once he's off the elevator. "Are you ready to lose?"
"We'll see what happens." I swing my leg over my bike and he smirks as I put the helmet on, starting the bike. "Pixie, where do I go from here?"
"I'll direct you on when to turn, Razzle Dazzle." I rev the bike and Pietro looks at me.
"Would you like to have a headstart so that your bike may have time to gain speed?" I flip him off and JARVIS counts us down while I do a little trick that's not exactly safe but it will get the bike going real fast real quick. I let go of the brakes as soon as JARVIS says one and speed out of the garage, turning when PIXEL tells me to. Pietro easily keeps pace with me and I speed up more.
"Turn right here. Your speed is getting to the point that it would be deadly if you were to crash. You should slow down, Razzle Dazzle."
"I've got this, Pixie Dust. Don't worry." I turn right and am met by a semi-truck barreling down the street. "SHIT!" I swing the back tire to the right to slow down safely and the semi barely misses my other tire as I keep sliding to try to stop before it passes. I swing the tires back the way they go and speed up again.
"You could have died and you're just going to continue the race?" Pietro yells at me, to my left, and I ignore him, speeding up before I turn right again to head back to the Compound. He suddenly runs in front of the bike and I have to swerve to avoid him, throwing myself off of the bike because I can't manage to slow down fast enough to keep that from happening. I brace myself to hit the pavement hard but get caught and instead set carefully on my feet. "Are you alright?" I look at him and feel rage claw at my chest, throwing my helmet to the side.
"Am I alright? Are you fucking kidding me? Why in the Hell did you think getting in front of the fucking bike going who knows how fast was a good idea? Are you a fucking idiot?"
"Me? You are the one who continued to race even though you almost got hit by a truck!"
"Almost doesn't count, you dumbass!"
"It does to me!"
"Well, you're a fucking idiot!"
"So are you! I knew you would not stop until I made you!"
"We're less than ten miles away from the compound, you dumb fuck!"
"You almost got hit by a damned car!"
"And almost doesn't fucking count! I could've fucking killed you! You fucking imbecile!"
"I only did that to stop you from continuing this stupid race!"
"If you thought it was so stupid, why did you fucking agree?" He clenches his jaw and zooms off without me back to the Compound. "ASSHOLE!" I grab my helmet and go over to my bike, picking it up. I try to start it and it sputters, making me groan. "Pixie Dust, directions to the Compound, please."
"You have to walk about ten miles this direction and you'll be able to get into the Compound's garage by turning left into it."
"Great." I try to start the bike again and it sputters more. "Come on... Just so I can get closer... Please?" I try again and it doesn't even sputter this time. I drop my head against the handlebars before I start walking with a sigh and I was more than pissed.
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By the time I get back, it's been four fucking hours and I'm more pissed off. "Where the fuck is that asshole?" I bellow as I burst through the elevator doors to the commons and the Avengers look at me.
"Pietro went to bed about an hour ago. Cuz you've been gone for six hours and you left at six. So it's midnight. Glad to see you're OK," Thor says drily and I run a hand through my sweat-soaked hair, pissed. "What happened?"
"The fucking dickweed made me crash my bike because he thought stopping in front of me while I was going who knows how fast would be the best fucking idea ever! And he left me to walk the thing ten fucking miles! I'm going to kill him!" I peel my jacket off and just growl as I pace, too pissed to articulate how pissed I was or form words.
"He complained about me almost getting hit by a truck, but can't seem to understand that me almost hitting him with a fucking motorcycle going way faster than that damned truck would probably kill him too! Why can't I have just one good-looking person in my life who's smart at the same fucking time? Is that so much to ask? They don't even have to be a fucking... Supergenius! Just fucking smart enough to know that getting hit by a motorcycle going at least two hundred miles an hour would not equal staying alive! Jesus fucking Christ! Just... UGH!"
"Wait, you almost got hit by a truck?" Tony asks while they were all slightly amused that I didn't seem to realize I called him good-looking and I wave my hand slightly.
"Not the point, Tony! At least with the truck, I had some more time to react! The fucking idiot just stops in front of my bike suddenly and I have to fucking swerve to avoid him and...! GRR! I'd say I'd rearrange his face but that would probably just make him look more handsome and I'm going to fucking throttle him instead!"
"Can I ask why you're so pissed about this?" Nat asks and I look at her. "Wanda told me he likes Hamilton, by the way."
"Are you even listening? And really?" She nods and I'm slightly interested while still being pissed.
"Oh, no, we're listening. It's very amusing to hear you complain about how you can't rearrange his face because that would probably make him look better," Steve snickers and I ignore him.
"I'm pissed because he made me fuck up my bike and couldn't listen to fucking reason on why what he did was so stupid! He dared to look at me with those fucking amazing baby blue eyes just full of worry and like I'm the wrong one and I shouldn't have almost got hit by a semi-truck! And he dared to just clench that fucking jaw of his before zooming off! And he had to make sure he flexed those fucking biceps of his as he did and left me to fucking drag my damned bike back here because it wouldn't fucking start! It makes me want to cave his pretty face in and leave bruises on his fucking jaw and biceps and blacken one of his eyes so I don't have to stare at those fucking amazing baby blues of his because I feel like I'm fucking drowning sometimes when I get lost in them and he's the one that fucking agreed to the race! He fucking smirked that fucking smirky smirk of his! And Jesus fucking Christ! Can he just not pair the fucking amazing baby blues with that fucking smirky smirk of his? The eyes are already paired with the fucking jaw and that damned face and his fucking mouth and the bloody biceps and his fucking chest! Just fucking everything about him is just so... God does reward the Earth with angels sometimes, I swear... And he likes Hamilton? God is finally being kind and I want to strangle the asshole! He acts like he's fucking amazing and so good looking and, I mean he's not wrong, but he can still be less of a fucking asshole about this! GRR! Makes me just want to..." I drift off as they all stare at me in amusement and I think back on everything I just said, covering the lower half of my face with my right hand while I put my left hand on my hip.
"Realize what you just said and ranted about for the past ten minutes?" Michelle asks and I nod mutely, face starting to heat. "And you've learned what?"
"I caught the biggest fucking feels for Speedy Gonzales," I say after moving my hand and promptly move it back.
"You caught feels for the Fastest Mouse in all of Mexico," Peter wheezes and I stare at the floor with wide eyes, face still heated.
"Well, I was originally pissed at getting woken up by screaming. But now? I welcome this wake-up call," Pietro says from behind me with a smirk evident in his voice and my eyes go unnaturally wider while my face heats more.
"Tony, it seems as though Razzle Dazzle is getting a fever. Should I have JARVIS do a medical scan?" PIXEL asks and Tony smirks.
"Oh, hey! Would you look at the time?" My voice cracks and I try to hide it by laughing. "NIGHT!" I try to get on the elevator with my jacket and Pietro zooms into my way to block it off.
"Well, hello. Where might you be going?" He smirks that fucking smirky smirk and crosses his arms over his chest to flex the fucking biceps.
"Y-Y'know," My voice was high and I clear my throat slightly. "Just, uh, just bed," I say as I pitch my voice slightly lower, my face heating more, and he smirks wider.
"Without a kiss from my mouth?" He pouts and I stumble over my words slightly, face heating more
"JARVIS, help?" I squeak hopefully and Pietro smirks more.
"I apologize, Raz. But, you are on your own." The others were barely containing their laughter and I was trying to look everywhere but Pietro.
"Yeah, Raz. Don't you want a kiss from an angel?" He asks, making me giggle uncontrollably for a moment before I cover my face and chuckle awkwardly. "Oh, don't you dare hide from me, young lady," He says in a low growl and I whine softly in the back of my throat, blushing more as I lower my hands slightly. He grabs my wrists and pulls them away from my face, holding them in one hand as he grabs my chin in the other. He pulls me down to his level and almost presses our lips together. "Kisses are for good girls. Rebels like you, however, get double kisses," He whispers against my lips before pressing our lips together shortly twice and smirks when he pulls away. "Good night, Rebel." He moves out of the way for me to get on the elevator and I get on, so confused as the doors close behind me before we're going to my floor. I go to my room and pull my clothes off, only managing to change into new underwear and a shirt before I fall onto my bed, falling asleep.
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I wake with a groan when JARVIS lets me know the others were waiting in my living room at eight in the morning and I climb out of bed, quickly throwing my blanket back over me when Pietro just barges in. "I'm sorry, what the fuck are you doing?" He just smirks and goes to my closet.
"JARVIS, privacy mode, please."
"Of course, Pietro." He gets clothes out for me and ignores me when I try to get him to answer me.
"Wear these today." He sets the clothes on my bed and I look at him as he leaves.
"Fuck that." I get clothes to wear for today, ignoring the ones on the bed, and go to take a shower.
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"Bet you anything she doesn't listen," Bucky smirks and Pietro leans against the counter with his arms crossed.
"I know she won't. This is just fun for me. Not that it will be fun for her later if she continues being a rebel and punk, but..." He shrugs with a smirk and they wait for me to come out.
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I come out as I'm drying my hair with a towel and I'm dressed in jeans, my flame shoes, a tank top, short sleeve shirt, and a hoodie with the Avengers on it as cartoons. "Well, well, well. I knew you looked amazing when you're embarrassed. And I was right that you'd look just as amazing, if not more so, blatantly disobeying what I asked of you," Pietro says and I pause in drying my hair to look at him, seeing him smirking.
"Well, sorry to break it to you, but I'm about thirty-four years old. I don't need someone getting clothes out for me like you would for a toddler." I continue to dry my hair and had a light blush on my face.
"May I suggest you stop acting like a toddler in need of a spanking and a nap, then, Razzle Dazzle?" He teases and I glare at him.
"Don't call me that."
"Why?"
"Only Tony and Pixie Dust can call me that."
"Pixie Dust?"
"You're on my floor, in my kitchen, blocking the way to my medicine, and you think you have the right to question what the fuck I call my AI? Get the fuck out of my way with your fucking... Whatever word will best describe you right now." He moves and I take my medicine for the morning, feeling his presence behind me. "If you're gonna be a fucking creepy creep creep, get me something to drink."
"Bossy. This will be fun," He says with a smirk evident in his voice and I manage to suppress the shudder, rolling my head on my shoulder suddenly instead. I turn and see him leaning on the island as he looks at me like I'm the most precious piece of treasure he's ever seen. "That was adorable." I do it the other way and tap the heel of my palm against my leg as a form of stimming.
"It's too early for me to be stimming... So, stop looking at me like that..." I roll my head on my shoulder again and let out a breath slowly through my nose, rubbing my forehead with the heel of my palm. He tilts his head slightly at me and I press my knuckles to my other palm. "I'm going to gouge your fucking eyes out if you don't stop looking at me like that."
"Sorry." He raises his hands slightly and hands me the bottle of chocolate milk. I open it and start to take a drink when my arm decides to spaz out, causing me to spill it all over myself. "Very graceful," He teases and I can feel tears forming at the back of my eyes because I'm just a fucking mess this morning.
"I don't believe that was the best thing to say to Razzle Dazzle," PIXEL says from my glasses and I set the half bottle of milk on the counter before peeling the hoodie off.
"Great shirt. Gonna have to go back and get one for me," Michelle says drily and I'm confused before I look at the shirt to see it was about dating Spiderman.
"Know what? Fuck today. I'm going back to bed." I start to head back to my room and Pietro cuts me off. "Move. You're part of the reason this morning sucks so bad."
"You can't hide in your room all day."
"I can. It's real easy." I continue to my room and he gets in my way again.
"I'm sorry for contributing to this morning being bad. How did I do so?" I sigh and rub my temples.
"When I stim like that, it's to keep from getting over-stimulated. You staring at me like that and saying all of the stuff you said got me like that. I can't always control my stims which is why I ended up spilling milk all over myself. Now, move. Please," I add and he nods, doing that. I go in and change my shirt, grabbing another hoodie before pocketing my phone. I sit on my bed and take a few deep breaths, trying to get past the over-stimulation.
Someone slides headphones over my ears and plays music through them, helping me relax as my eyes close. I feel someone's hands settle on my knees and open my eyes to see Bucky crouching there, taking the headphones off one ear. "JARVIS said that they help people on the spectrum. So Tony got a pair in case they might help you out too." I nod a bit and mess with my fingers a bit. "Pietro left to give you some space. You should change the rest of your clothes, there's milk on your pants too."
"Probably a good idea..." He nods and stands up. "Hey, Bucky...?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you let him know I wanna talk to him? I wanna apologize for threatening to gouge his eyes out..."
"Probably a good idea. Sure thing."
"Thanks..." He nods and leaves. I look at the clothes that Pietro had picked out for me and change into them, noticing he chose a shirt with Speedy Gonzales. I smile a bit and pull it on over the tank top right before he comes in. I look at him and he looks at me in shock. "Hi... I, uh... I wanted to apologize for earlier... For, y'know, threatening to gouge your eyes out..."
"Thank you. Is that it?" I nod a bit and he nods a bit back, leaving. I take the headphones off and find the instructions, turning them off before I put them around my neck. I ignore the feeling in my stomach and go back to the kitchen to see the other Avengers still there, minus Pietro. The feeling in my stomach gets stronger and I get something to eat, just an apple for now. I sit on the counter and eat the apple silently while the others watch me a bit.
"The headphones help?"
"Yeah. Thanks, Tony." He nods and I finish my apple, throwing the core where it goes. "Where'd Speedy go?"
"He said something about making an angel fall and left after that," Wanda explains and I nod a bit, curious about something else all of the sudden.
"Was Mom ever able to shift into an animal's body?"
"After Mother had trained her, yes. You may be able to without Mother's help."
"Sick." I smile a bit and run a hand through my hair, trying to ignore the feeling still growing in my stomach.
"Oh, he left this for you. Said he wanted to play a game." I raise an eyebrow slightly and take the notebook from Bucky as he was wearing a slight smirk. "Follow all of the instructions to the T and you get a reward. If you don't, well... You don't get the reward." I look at the notebook and see the first thing was to eat a proper breakfast that I made, what he wanted me to eat written below it.
"OK... How would he know if I didn't?"
"He has requested that I let him know and Master Stark has allowed me to do so."
"And I don't get a say?"
"It is all in good fun, yes?"
"Alright, fair." I look at what he wanted me to eat and think a bit. "I have no fucking clue what this is."
"It's a traditional Sokovian dish. The recipe is on the counter to your right." I look at the recipe and see that it was way past my cooking capabilities, nodding a bit. "Something wrong?"
"Nah. This looks like it'll be good."
"We'll leave you to it, then. All of the ingredients are where they need to be." I nod and they leave.
"Alrighty... Let's see how badly I mess this up..." I hop off of the counter and get all of the ingredients out before getting started on making it.
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I turn away from the pan to get other stuff ready for when the food's done and hear a loud FWOOSH, turning back to see flames rising from the pan while smoke billows toward my face. "Damnit! JARVIS! Need some help!" He doesn't respond and I try to make the flames go down, just managing to make it worse.
"What's the prob- What the Hell happened?" I look toward the elevator and see Bucky coming over to the kitchen.
"I turned away for like five seconds and flames! What the Hell do I do now?" He uses his metal hand to take the pan off of the stove and throws it in the sink.
"Now, you sit at the island." I do that and he looks at me, crossing his arms after turning the stove off. "You knew this dish was beyond your capabilities, didn't you?" I look at the island and mess with my nails instead of responding. "Answer me." I nod a bit and he lifts my head by my chin. "Verbally," He says sternly and I pick at my nails.
"Yeah..."
"Why didn't you say anything or ask for help?"
"I don't know... I'm too stubborn for my own good?" I try and he didn't look too pleased. "Sorry..."
"Other than at the cabin, when was the last time you cooked?"
"When I was ten..."
"Jesus, kid." He pinches the bridge of his nose and tilts his head back, sighing.
"Sorry, Bucky... I thought I could manage it... And the instructions said to cook it myself," I add lamely and can feel his eyes boring into my skull, lifting my head to see him glaring at me. I duck my head again and look up when he lightly taps his finger against my head.
"If you know that something is beyond your capabilities, don't do it without having someone to make sure you're doing it right and that it doesn't go wrong." I feel my lungs start to burn suddenly and start to cough since smoke had still been slowly filling the room. "Damnit! JARVIS, activate the ventilation system and get this smoke out of here!"
"Right away, Sergeant Barnes." I hear the vents open before the smoke starts to get sucked up and continue to cough. He gets a glass of water and sets it in front of me before starting to rub my back.
"I'm fine, Buck," I manage to say through the coughs and he just continues to rub my back through the coughs that are just wracking my body.
"There is something that should help her breathe on top of the fridge, Sergeant Barnes," JARVIS says and he grabs a machine from it. "Do you know how to use one of these, Raz?"
"Yeah. You need the box of liquid medicine behind it." I continue to cough, getting worse, and he grabs it quickly, looking worried. "I'm fine. Get one of the plastic tubes out of the box and pour it into the bottom part of the mask. It'll be kinda like giving me oxygen." He does that and presses the mask over my nose and mouth without any more preamble, holding it there for me instead of letting me do it. "I can hold it myself."
"Shut up and breathe," He growls and I don't argue, doing as I'm told.
We have to go through three and a half of the tubes before the coughs finally stop and he makes me do the other half of it then another one to be safe, despite me arguing that I was fine. Pietro had come in as I was going through the second one and Bucky told him exactly what happened, ignoring how I said I was fine.
"If you knew it was too advanced for you, you should have told Wanda! She would have helped you," Pietro says sternly as I'm going through the fifth tube and I roll my eyes. "Do not roll your eyes at me, Rebel," He growls and I make direct eye contact with him before rolling my eyes again. He clenches his jaw and Bucky puts the machine back on top of the fridge since the tube is done. "I'm glad to see your breathing is back to normal. I'll leave you to finish the list with Sergeant Barnes." He leaves and the feeling in my stomach is starting to seep out to my chest and legs. I hate the feeling and try to ignore it as Bucky just stares at me.
"What?" I ask after a few minutes and he crosses his arms, leaning against the counter.
"You keep going the way you are, that feeling you've got in your gut is going continue until it's at your fingers and toes and you're gonna feel like shit. That what you want?" I don't respond and clench my jaw a bit, looking away. "Didn't think so. Let's try to make this dish again. Alright?"
"Fine," I huff as I go over to the sink and Bucky easily pins me face down against the island.
"I suggest you lose that attitude before you lose the ability to sit comfortably. Understand?" I nod and he pinches my side gently. "Understand?"
"Ow! Yeah, I understand!"
"Good." He lets me up and I kind of rub my side, pouting a bit without realizing I am. "I didn't pinch you that hard, kid. Come on. Help me out." I look at the recipe and he helps me make the dish, telling me how to do what needed to be done.
"Alright. I've burnt myself five fucking times in two minutes. I'm done." I start to walk away and Bucky catches me with that damned metal arm of his, pulling me back.
"If you paid attention, you wouldn't be burning yourself. Now would you?" He raises an eyebrow and I don't respond. "Thought so. Come on. It's almost done. And you'll feel good when you finish it."
"What makes you so sure?"
"With age comes wisdom," He says simply with a smirk on his face and I don't respond, finishing up the dish with him. The feeling eases back into my gut a bit and I do feel good because I did something that Pietro wanted me to do, even if I needed help. "Told you so." I ignore him and he plates it up while I deal with putting the dishes in the dishwasher. "Sit down and eat, kid." I finish putting the dishes in the dishwasher and sit, eating slowly. "Good?"
"Yeah. What else is on the list?" He hands me the notebook and I turn the page to see that he wanted me to meditate for an hour, starting over whenever I lost focus. "Not doing that one because it'll take all fucking day." I turn the page and see he wanted me to train hand-to-hand combat with the team when they also train. "I feel like that's a terrible idea, but OK," I mutter as I finish eating and Bucky takes my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher.
"I know one of those is to meditate for an hour. We've got two hours before the team trains together. Get the meditation out of the way."
"Fine." I go to the living room and sit on the floor, crossing my legs as I do. I rest my hands in my lap and sit up straight as I take a slow, deep breath, closing my eyes. I work on clearing my mind and all that happens is all of the memories that I've shoved back, back, back, back come to the forefront, making me clench my fists as I try to shove them back where they belong.
"Razzle Dazzle, your heart rate has increased tenfold in one minute. I suggest stopping whatever it is that's causing that," PIXEL says and I take her advice, opening my eyes as I try to get my heart to chill.
"Alright. Meditation is a bust. Never doing that again," I say simply and don't move for a few moments as my heart slows, standing once it has. I notice my hands were shaking and shove them in my pockets to not have to deal with that right now.
"If this is what happens when you do it, I believe that's a good idea," PIXEL says drily and I let out a harsh, short laugh.
"What happened?" Bucky asks and I turn to see him sitting on the couch while Pietro was standing by the elevator.
"Things that I've wanted to forget for years came to the front and wouldn't go back to that fucking hole where they belong."
"What kind of things?"
"Things that are none of your God damned business!" I snap and glare at him.
Pietro is suddenly in front of me and was more than pissed. I glare at him and clench my fists in my pockets to manage the shaking again. Bucky watches the stand-off for a moment before standing and coming over to us, setting a hand on Pietro's shoulder. "Why don't we go to the Commons and hang out with the others for a while until training starts?"
"Sounds good," I say simply and head to the elevator before I can hear them following me. We say nothing as we ride the elevator to the commons and I get off first, sitting next to Sam and Scott.
"What's wrong with you now?"
"She has the emotional range of a teenager," Pietro says shortly and I glare at him.
"Go fuck yourself, Maximoff," I snarl and the other's eyes go wide for a moment, knowing I only resorted to last names when I was pissed unless it was Strange.
"Maybe I would not say it if you did not make it so painfully obvious. Sergeant Barnes was only trying to help and you snapped on him for no reason."
"Because, despite what people may think, I don't share certain aspects of my life with others."
"Perhaps you should," Wanda says and I look at her.
"Easier said than done, y'know?"
"I can help." She forms a red ball of magic between her hands and I look at her assessingly for a few minutes.
"Alright. You got a way to show it to everybody?"
"Yes."
"Then let's do this." She comes closer and sits next to me, waving her hands near my head before I feel her presence in my head, eyes glowing red from her magic.
"Come out," She says and the memories come to the forefront of my mind while being broadcasted to the others.