Monday
Morgan fucking loves blue.
Almost everything she chose for her new first grade class was some shade of it; her pencils, backpack, lunch bag, erasers, and everything she could feasibly find. Bucky was astonished, really, that so many things come in that damn color and that those things were actually needed. He remembered, and told Sam as much, that school in the 20s consisted of regular #2 pencils, brown paper lunch bags, and pretty much nothing else. But now it was so much more, which Sam made sure to remind him of at every opportunity.
It took a surprisingly short amount of time to shop for Morgan’s school supplies in a smaller, more contained store that Bucky preferred over the last one. This one was an appropriate size; he could see all four walls from the front door and there weren’t nearly as many people there. The choices were still overwhelming, but he didn’t have to make them; he just stood there, hands in his pockets and eyes flitting nervously around the room, and watched Sam leading Morgan around through the aisles, pointing at things that she would need and helping her to choose. It was cute, but Bucky totally did not think that at all. Nope. Not one bit. Fuck that.
When they paid, Sam slipped a colorful box of something called “nerds” onto the counter. “I just googled it.” The other man told him, watching the wide eyed cashier ring up their items, staring directly at Sam. “This stuff came out in ‘83. You probably haven’t tried it yet.”
“So?”
Sam stared at him like he was an idiot. “You’re gonna try them. If I don’t introduce you to the carnal pleasures of the modern day, I’m not only failing as a friend; I’m failing as a human being. I promise you’ll like them.”
Bucky did not, in fact, like them. They tasted like anxiety and he was pretty sure they would have straight up killed him if he had eaten them in the 40s, like a Victorian orphan trying Bazooka bubble gum.
Over the following day, Sam bustled around the apartment like he actually lived there, packing up Morgan’s bag and giving Bucky the crash course on raising a kid, which resulted in petty squabbles that Morgan thought were the funniest fucking thing.
“Ok, so if she comes home and says someone’s bullying her you can’t kill them.” Sam informed him, as if Bucky wasn’t already aware of proper human ethics.
“I know that!” He sniped, scrunching up his eyebrows.
“Ok but you gotta promise me you won’t.”
Bucky stared at him. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Sam didn’t answer, just stared back with an almost unreadable expression.
He rolled his eyes. “Sam, I’m not going to kill any asshole kids. Jeez.”
“But I need to hear you say it.”
“Shit! Fine, I promise I’m not going to commit infanticide. Are you happy now?”
“It’s not infanticide, that’s babies. You’re talking about pedicide.” Sam’s eyes were twinkling now, and Bucky wanted to punch him.
“Fuck you, Wilson.”
Sam shushed him at this, motioning to Morgan, who sat near them at the counter, engrossed in a colorful cartoon playing on the TV; something called Paw Patrol. Sam’s flight back to Delacroix took off the next afternoon, right after Morgan’s first day of school and the three of them had chosen to spend some of their time sitting at Bucky’s kitchen counter so that Sam could quiz him and Morgan on their cover story.
“Ok, Morgan.” He said, peering down at his notes. “Who are you and who is Bucky? Why are you with him?”
Morgan took a sip out of her juice box before answering.“I’m Morgan Barnes.” She recited, eyes rolled back in her head as she tried to remember. “He’s my Uncle Bucky! My mommy’s sick so I gotta stay with him for a while.”
Sam beamed down at her before moving on to Bucky, who sat to her left with the side of his head resting in his hand. “I seriously don’t know why you roped me into this, Sam.” He griped, poking at the half eaten sandwich in front of him. “I was a professional assassin.”
Sam glared at him. “I don’t recall the Winter Soldier ever bothering with backstories.” He snapped, a smile playing on his lips. “Now tell me about your sister, Morgan’s mom.”
Bucky bunched his shoulders forward. “Fine. Her name is Jessica and she’s a functioning alcoholic who started drinking after her husband, Dustin, died. She’s at a rehab in Ohio so I’m watching Morgan.” He sighed, before pulling on a saddened face. “Oh golly. I sure do hope she gets better.”
Sam peered down at him. “Wow.” He said, voice flat. “Truly an inspiring performance.”
Bucky moved to flip him off before cutting himself short, glancing over at Morgan. “I was a jock, not a theatre kid. Cut me some slack.”
“Absolutely not.”
................
The next morning, Sam woke, sprawled out across the floor, to see Bucky sitting adjacent to him, staring at the clock with a cold cup of coffee in his hands as he counted the seconds before he had to send Morgan off to school.
“What time is it?” He asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Bucky glanced over, taking a sip of the coffee and wincing at the temperature. “6:25. Gotta wake her up in 5 minutes.”
Sam grunted, sitting up. Like always, the white tank top he wore was obscenely tight and, like always, Bucky loved hated him for it. “You make coffee?”
“Yea.” Bucky said, gesturing towards the kitchen. “Coffee maker came with the apartment.”
He padded over, pulling one of the cabinets open before looking over at Bucky again. “Do you seriously only have two mugs?”
Bucky nodded. “Yea, they came with the apartment too.”
“Do you have anything that actually belongs to you?”
The brunet shrugged. “How could I?” He asked, “The Howlies gave all my shit to the Smithsonian for that stupid Cap’ exhibit and I just… I don’t really know what I want to get.”
The truth was that he barely knew who he was anymore. Once upon a time, he and Steve had been so poor that the money they had always went to bills and food. They never had anything for decoration other than Steve’s sketches and a potted plant named Gertrude that Bucky really hoped got taken care of after he and Steve went MIA. Everything they owned had been given to them and Bucky had never had the time to figure out what he liked. Now, after all these years and all the deaths he caused, he wasn’t really sure that he deserved to figure that out.
“Okay, fuck, after we drop Morgan off at school we’re going to HomeGoods or some shit.” Sam told him, filling the other plain white mug. “I am not gonna let you live like this.”
Bucky opened his mouth to retort but cut himself off when he saw the time.
6:30. He needed to wake Morgan up.
He looked over at Morgan’s sleeping form, still sleeping on his floor bed until he could find a better solution, and then to her already packed backpack that sat on the counter. He’d put a Lunchable and a bottle of water in there like Sam had said, hoping that would be enough for the day.
The clock now read 6:31 and he made his way across the dim room before leaning over to shake Morgan awake. She peered up at him groggily, obviously very tired, and Bucky grimaced. “Hey, you gotta wake up. Elementary school waits for no one.”
“I hate you.” Came the small, muffled voice as she pulled the blanket over her face. “I hate school. I don’t wanna go.”
Bucky sighed, pulling the blanket back. “I know, school sucks. But you gotta get up anyway.”
He’d gone through this a million times with his sister, Rebecca, back when his parents were alive and they were still a happy family. Morgan was a lot like her. Or maybe all six year olds were the same.
“You have to make a good impression, kid.” Sam said, standing over the two of them. “You’re starting like halfway through the fall semester so you need to put on your best face and make some friends.”
“I, uh, packed you a Lunchable.” Bucky offered when she didn’t get up. “And you can wear whatever you want.”
She opened one of her eyes again, squinting up at the two of them. “Lunchable?”
Bucky nodded. “Yep, the one you said you like with the little pizzas.”
Sighing, she sat up, stretching her little arms above her head. “Okay.” She said, her voice small and tired. “Can I wear my dog shirt?”
“You can wear whatever you want.” Sam told her. “Just make sure you don’t look too crazy.”
Morgan yawned, crawling out of her makeshift bed and over to her open suitcase. She pulled out her blue dog shirt and a purple skirt-short thing. Sam had told Bucky that they were called “skorts” and that they were invented in 1959.
“Brush your hair!” Bucky called after her, getting only a small grunt in response.
Sam glanced down at him as she made her way to the bathroom with her clothes. “I forgot how hard it is to get kids up in the morning.” He said. “My nephews normally get up on their own since my sister would whoop their asses if they were late.”
Bucky snorted. “My ma woulda done the same. She was all about being on time.”
“You’re gonna have to tell me about her sometime.”
He smiled wryly. “Yea, sure. She was great.”
Truth be told, Winnie Barnes was a powerhouse. She was a tough, take no shit woman who loved her children with all her heart and made sure to teach them right. She’d been the type to go to protests and harbor queer people in their home when they needed a place to stay, cooking up large batches of dishes and bringing them to homeless shelters and orphanages around New York. Bucky was proud to be her son and, even though his memories of her were fuzzy due to Hydra’s fuckery, he missed her dearly.
He and Sam bustled around Bucky’s bare apartment, making sure that Morgan had everything she needed for school, before Sam slipped off to the other room to change. Bucky made a point not to think about that too hard.
The three of them slipped out of the apartment by 6:45, Morgan toting her (blue, obviously) backpack with a tired expression. Sam had whipped up some eggs for her, which she had eaten groggily, half asleep and a yawn away from face planting into the yolks that she refused to eat. Sam drove them to the school in his rental car, parking as close to the doors as he could get. They piled out, Bucky having to shake Morgan awake as she had fallen asleep in the backseat.
A smiling woman met them at the door of Morgan’s classroom once they found it, her brown hair pulled up into a bun held together with pencils. “Hi!” She greeted them, reaching out to shake Sam and Bucky’s hands. “I’m Ms. Fletcher but you adults can call me Teresa.” She smiled down at Morgan, reaching out to shake her hand too. “And you must be Morgan! It’s so nice to meet you, I’m sure you’re going to love being in my class.”
Morgan peered up at her suspiciously, hiding behind Bucky’s legs. “Hi.”
Teresa laughed. “Everyone’s a bit shy on their first day, don’t worry. Anyway, I see that you guys have all her paperwork sorted out?”
“Uh, yea.” Bucky confirmed, rubbing his shoulder where the metal of his arm met his flesh. It had become a nervous habit for him and, standing in front of this cheery woman, he was definitely nervous. “Sorry that she’s joining so late, I know it’s only like a week and a half until Thanksgiving.”
Teresa waved the comment off. “Oh don’t worry, I’m sure we can catch her up. I saw in your file that her mom isn’t around, so I’ll go easy on her.”
“Thanks.” Sam said, giving her his usual handsome smile. “Is everything all set?”
She looked down at her clipboard, thumbing through a couple pages before humming. “Yup!” She looked back down at Morgan, holding out her free hand. “You ready to go, hun?”
Morgan glanced up at Bucky, eyes wary. “Bucky?” She asked, looking for reassurance.
Bucky grinned at her, equally as nervous but doing his best not to show it. “You’ll be fine.” He assured her. “I’ll be here to pick you up at 1, okay?”
“You gotta be brave.” Sam told her, ruffling her hair. “You’re brave, right?”
She thought for a moment before puffing out her chest with a determined look. “Yea, I’m brave!” She crowed. “I’m the bravest!”
Teresa laughed, taking Morgan’s hand. “Okay, brave girl. Let’s get the school day started. Thank you for dropping her off! I’ll see you two at 1 this afternoon.”
With that, she waved to them and ushered Morgan into the classroom, leaving Sam and Bucky standing in the empty hallway. A few moments passed with Bucky staring at the door, sifting through his feelings. It shouldn’t bother him so much to drop her off, she wasn’t his kid after all. But now, having watched her slip into her classroom, he felt hollow and his heart panged.
Sam rested his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, rubbing it and sending warmth down Bucky’s flesh arm. “You okay?” He asked. “It’s always hard to do this the first time.”
“Yea. I’m… I’m okay.”
Sam hummed, the two of them turning to leave before the door slammed open and Morgan rushed out, throwing her arms around Bucky’s legs. Surprised, he bent down and awkwardly hugged her back before she pulled away and hugged Sam too. With a determined look on her face, she headed back to the classroom. “Okay, now everything’s okay.” She called inside the classroom, probably to Teresa, before turning back to her two caretakers and waving. “Bye bye! See you later!”
As the door swung shut, Bucky noticed a slight wetness in his eyes and quickly wiped it away. He was absolutely not going to cry about a kid he’d only known for a couple days, no matter how much she reminded him of his sister. No matter how desperately she made him miss Rebecca.
Sam chuckled, seeing Bucky’s misty eyes despite his best efforts to hide it. “You want to go get some breakfast before I leave?”
Bucky nodded, sniffling a bit. “Yea. I need pancakes.”
Laughing, Sam herded him towards the front doors of the school. “Don’t worry, man.” He promised. “She’ll be okay.”
As they stepped back out into the sunlight, Bucky quickly realized that, despite the walls he had put up, he was growing attached to Morgan. For once, he had something to take care of that wasn’t himself. It was nice, being trusted like that. He even looked forward to seeing her again in the coming afternoon. He was actually… feeling things.
Fuck, this kid was going to be the death of him.