the shield
“Why? What’re you thinking?” Torres asked, his face on the small screen trying to read Sam’s expression. Sam frowned, before saying “nothing”. Torres gave him a quizzical look. “Wait, you don’t think it could be a…” “Look, I’ll circle back to ya. For now, let’s just keep this between me and you, aight?” Sam interrupted. He ended the call just as Sarah walked into the room.
“Oh my god, Sam, you better look at this” she said, turning on the TV. There was worry in her voice.
“…has left us vulnerable. Every day, Americans feel it. While we love heroes, who put their life on the line to defend earth, we also need a hero to defend this country.”
Sam glanced at Sarah who looked distressed, very much mirroring his own feeling. Confusion mingled with panic. This did not sound good. This did not sound good at all.
“We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of our department of defence and our commander in chief, it is with great honour that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming: your new Captain America.”
There was cheering from the crowd. Sam felt sick. He knew that he couldn’t be Captain America, but the idea of someone else being given the shield made him feel nauseous. There could only ever be one Cap and that had been Steve. No one would ever be able to fill those shoes.
A tall, white man jogged to the side of the podium, smiling and waving to the crowd. He was dressed as Captain America, he even had the shield.
Sam shut his eyes. This was stupid. This was ridiculous. He had given the shield to the museum to be retired, for it to be safe and remembered as a symbol, for Steve to be remembered as a symbol. They had replaced him. But not only had they replaced someone else as Captain America, undoubtedly someone who could never even come close to how great Steve was, but they had done it as a symbol for America, to show the world how great America was. That was not what Steve had stood for.
The guilt and the regret overwhelmed Sam as he stared into the face behind the mask that had belonged to Steve, holding that shield, smiling, waving, like this was a performance.
Over a thousand miles away in a small apartment in Brooklyn, Bucky was watching the same announcement on his TV. He was angry. Sam had done this knowingly. Steve had chosen Sam and Sam just didn’t want to take on the responsibility. What did he expect was going to happen? That the shield would just stay in the museum?
The announcement was followed up by an advert for the next morning’s popular talk show which was going to have an exclusive interview with “Captain America”.
This was not Captain America. This was some man who was wearing clothes that didn’t belong to him trying to fill shoes he would never be able to.
Bucky slept badly again that night and woke up early. He was still angry at Sam. All his messages made Bucky angry. Bucky knew that Sam probably did it because he felt some moral obligation to check up on him, make sure he was still alive and not killing anyone. That he was being a good boy, staying where he was supposed to be.
He turned on the TV to see the blonde talk show host interviewing the man posing as Captain America. This man was talking as though he had earned the title or as if it was something that could be won. That he felt “honoured”. The lady started listing off his many accomplishments. Medals of honour, high scores on some tests. None of those things made someone Captain America. In fact, all those things made someone less like Steve had been. Steve was small, always the underdog, standing up for the powerless, even when he had nothing to give. He hadn’t wanted titles or medals. None of that had mattered. What had mattered to Steve, to the real, the only Captain America had been to fight the fight that mattered, the good fight.
The blonde man on the screen was talking and it made Bucky angry. Angry at Sam for giving up the shield, angry at the museum and the department of defence but most of all at this guy. “John Walker”. How dare he talk this way.
“Even though I never met him, he feels like a brother.” Bucky scoffed. This man had no idea what it was like to be like a brother to Steve. Steve had been stubborn and loyal and hated publicity. He always wanted to do what was right, not what was easy. Steve was independent, determined to get by alone. He had to be reminded that just because he could do something alone he didn’t have to. This man seemed the type of person who had always been on top, always one of the big guys. He had no idea what it was like to stand up to someone bigger than himself or helping someone do that. That was what being Captain America’s brother was like. Always ready to act, to help and to stop Steve from doing something stupid.
Suddenly the grief was overwhelming. Steve was gone. Really gone. And the one thing he had left behind was being used as a gimmick, a symbol for America not for the loyalty, bravery and compassion Steve had stood for.
Bucky turned the TV off. The anger and sadness were mixing into a desire to act, to do something stupid, to stop someone, to remind the world what the real Captain America had stood for. He stood up but was unsure what to do next. He reached for his phone and saw a new message from Sam.
"I'm sure you've seen. I'm truly sorry. I'm leaving the country for a couple days for work but if you want to talk when I get back, let me know. Sam"
Bucky remembered that Sam had mentioned the military base from which he was usually sent out. It was now or never. He grabbed a jacket and his keys and then left. It was time to confront Sam about this. All of this was Sam’s fault and it was the only way Bucky could think of somehow fixing the whole situation. He knew it didn’t make sense, but he had to let out his frustration to someone who wasn’t his state mandated therapist.
When he arrived, the base was busy, clearly preparing for a take-off. There were “cap is back” posters plastered all over the place, John Walker’s face on a body wearing Cap’s suit and carrying the shield made Bucky feel nauseous again.
He heard Sam’s familiar voice coming from somewhere upstairs. Sam emerged from around a corner and began walking down the metal stairs. Bucky started walking towards him. He was going to wait until Sam was closer, so he didn’t have to yell but the posters had set him off and when he saw Sam he was too frustrated to stick to his plan.
“You shouldn’t have given up the shield” he called. Sam sighed and continued down the stairs towards him. “Good to see you too, Buck” he said. He walked past Bucky who immediately started walking with him.
“You know this is wrong” he started, but Sam interrupted him. “Hey, hey, look. I’m working, alright, so all this outrage is gonna have to wait. That’s why I texted you, you could have just replied.”
Bucky didn’t want to wait. He wanted to do this now. Did Sam not realise how much of a big deal this was? “You didn’t know that was gonna happen?” “No, of course I didn’t know that was gonna happen. You think it didn’t break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new captain America?” Sam’s voice shook slightly but he kept it together. Bucky decided not to reply to what Sam was saying. He knew it wasn’t all Sam’s fault, but it was good to have someone to blame for all this.
“This isn’t what Steve wanted.” He said, knowing that Sam wouldn’t be able to fight him on the grounds of what Steve wanted. Unfortunately, Sam was also frustrated and was still responding.
“Oh my god, so what do you want me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind? Huh? Yeah, right. It’s a great reunion buddy. Be well.” It was infuriating. Bucky knew that it was too late now. He knew that realistically Sam couldn’t fix this any more than he could, but there was no one else to place blame on.
“You had no right to give up the shield, Sam.” That was the final straw. Sam stopped and turned to Bucky. There was real anger in his eyes now.
“Hey, this is what you’re not gonna do: you’re not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights. It’s over Bucky. Besides, I’ve got bigger things to deal with now.”
“What could be bigger than this?” Bucky heard his voice crack and hoped that Sam hadn’t heard. What in the world could be bigger than this? Everything was falling apart and the only safety, the only thing Bucky had always been able to trust in was gone and now even the last remnant of that memory had been taken away. Sam’s face softened for a second before he fished his phone out of his pocket.
“This guy. He had connections with rebel organisations all over Eastern and Central Europe and he’s strong. Too strong.” Sam was looking at him. His gaze was intense, and Bucky knew what he was suspecting but didn’t want to bring it up himself. So, instead he just said:
“And?” “Well, he’s been connected to this online group called the flagsmashers. Now. Redwing traced them to a building somewhere outside Munich, so that’s where I’m going.” “Well, I don’t trust Redwing” Bucky said but Sam had already turned to leave. “Hold on a minute!” Sam stopped again. “You don’t have to trust Redwing. But Imma go see if he’s right. Cause I have a feeling they might be a part of the Big Three.”
“What big three?”
“THE Big Three.”
“What big three?”
“Androids, Aliens and Wizards.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“That’s definitely a thing.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Every time we fight, we fight one of the three.”
“So, who are you fighting now? Gandalf?”
“Ep…how do you know about Gandalf?” Bucky could tell Sam was going to say something else but his comment about Gandalf had caught him off guard.
“I read the hobbit. In 1937. When it first came out.” “So, you see my point”, Sam went on.
“No, I don’t. There are no wizards.” “Dr. Strange?” “Is a sorcerer” replied Bucky. “Aha! A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat. Think about it.” Sam looked pleased with his conclusion. “Right? I’m right. I just came up with that it’s crazy” Sam continued looking smug for a few seconds before he remembered what he was actually trying to say.
“That’s not the point, these guys aren’t magical. They use brute force, just like you.” Bucky knew that Sam wasn’t referring to his time as the winter soldier, but it still made him incredibly uneasy. “The incredibly annoying guy in front of me with the staring problem” Sam continued. That was uncalled for, but Bucky decided that it wasn’t so important right now as Sam had already started walking towards the plane.
“I’m coming with you” Bucky called after Sam’s retreating back, starting to walk to catch up with him.
“No, you’re not!"