2000
The front door shut and James looked over his shoulder from his spot on the couch, his son stormed in, a mess of frustrated mumbling and what sounded like contained screams. The spitting image of James himself at eighteen.
This scene continued until he eventually collapsed in a flourish next to his father, burrowing his head slightly between the couch and James’ shoulder.
“So, Harry. Anything you might want to talk to your mother and I about?” James asks playfully, receiving only a groan in reply.
Lily let out a laugh from her perch next to their fire place, “Haz we all know you don’t enter a room with drama to rival Sirius without a story to tell. Get on with it.”
With that Harry picked up his head, looking at his mum with an expression between tired and humorous, “There’s this, someone.” He starts.
James immediately props himself up a bit, leaning interestedly on his elbows, “I love ‘someone’ talk. Do tell. What’s she like.”
Harry faltered a second, and James realized what he may have said wrong, “Or he, you know whoever they might be I love ‘someone’ talk just as much.”
At that he managed a huffed laugh out of his son, “He’s really great.” Harry admits silently, James and Lily share a soft look over his head.
“And just, smart. He’s like so smart I can hardly follow what he says sometimes but he gets so excited every time he gets into it. I feel like an idiot.” He continues.
“Hey, you’re no idiot just because you can’t follow what he talks about.” James steps in.
“Oh no, not for that at all. I love it when he explain shit to me even if I’ll never get it. I’d forget everything I ever learnt if it meant he’d get that upbeat tone about him teaching me. I’m an idiot because I seem to have greatly fucked it up.” He explains.
“Mind your fucking language son.” Lily chastises, it always manages a small smile from him, “now, tell us what you did so we know what to say.”
Harry looked fondly at his mother and went on, “I think he knows”- a pause, a choke-“how I feel. I think he caught on. I don’t even know if he likes guys, and like a month ago he hated me, thought I was slagging him off- I was not- and held a bloody strong grudge. Even then I still felt like this” He stops and thinks a second, “a bit pathetic that is. I just, I don’t know where I stand anymore.”
Lily sent a look to James as if to say “Your blood did this” and honestly, James had to agree. It looked all too much like something James had known before.
“Goodness, I don’t even know why I came to you two. With that sweetest love story and all.”
James burst out laughing first, then Lily.
“Harry, who told you this love story.” Lily asked though borderline tears.
“Uncle Sirius.” Harry answered, the most confused James had ever seen the boy.
“That would explain it. James, are you taking these reins?” She asked, arms crossed and eyebrows up like she couldn’t wait to watch the scene of her husband explaining his dating history to their son.
“You first Lils. My story takes a while I think.”
“Alright then, so what Sirius fails to mention is that, before your father, there was…someone. You know her quite well.” Lily explained softly.
“Oh.” Harry breathed, “Can I ask who?”
“Your Aunt Pandora.” She says like the most obvious thing in the world.
“OH.” Harry replies earning a laugh from all of them.
Lily let a slight smile shine through, nodding her head, “Yeah, oh.”
Harry quirked his head, “How did that happen? How did that work out?”
***
1978
The Ravenclaw’s were holding that weekends biggest party after their rugby win against Slytherin, Lily couldn’t wait. She loved the party scene of her college, all house rivalries and drinking together to celebrate wins or commiserate losses, it didn’t matter, everyone was in one place and tonight she would be celebrating.
She swiped eyeliner across her eyes and pulled a pair of her roommate Marlene’s earrings off the dresser. Before they left to make the walk to the nest, they both took the last swigs from the flask that had kept them company as they got ready.
Arm in arm they made it out the front of the Ravens Nest. It was inherited by a Ravenclaw student in the 40s and stayed in the family, everyone was lucky for legacy students. It left them with the nest, and it’s corny name, for generations. It was a short walk from campus, a run down old house that probably once meant something to someone but now was known for it’s scene of hosting crowds of drunkards, pushing their limits a little further and calling it fun. Lily adored it.
As they passed the sign on the front, Wit beyond measure is a mans greatest treasure, Lily would laugh and start to sway as she already felt the music from inside. Slowly that night, just as all others, she drifted away from Marlene, left her to chase after Dorcas Meadows and pretend they weren’t getting along as they drank together only slightly too close to be platonic.
This night Lily ended up in one of her favorite places, pressed into the side of Pandora Rosier, screaming to whatever songs they knew and simply basking in each other’s presence until eventually slinking off to her dorm and enjoying the rest of their night behind closed doors, with less sweaty crowds and liquor-softened vision, more heated breaths and soft touches.
It truly was bliss, the arms of Pandora were the warmest, safest place she’d ever known. After the first few times the awkwardness slipped away, Lily didn’t slip out after she heard even breaths and Pandora didn’t avoid her gaze for days after. Sometimes they would talk, one night Pandora confessed she wanted to travel through the world, she wanted to see and experience, and write all about it. Lily weighed out that idea, thinking a life on the road with Pandora sounded like a dream. Though never daring to tell her so, they never spoke of futures together, never spoke of a “them” outside of those sweet nights.
***
2000
“So that was it? you two never talked about it again?” Harry asked leaning forward on his elbows, fully engulfed in his mothers musings as she looked with glassy eyes into the distance.
“Not quite, there was once. In the airport, when we both made a promise neither of us could keep.” Lily added, Harry and James both pretended not to see the slight tear in her eye.
Carefully her son asked, “What was it?”
***
1979
Graduation had come and gone, holiday season had passed and Lily was stuck static. She’d not heard from Pandora since New Years Day after she’d left her house with a kiss goodbye in one of her jumpers as her clothes were bundled in her arms.
She’d said they’d keep in touch, but somehow through all their mutual friends, and having eachothers numbers, it had been two weeks since Lily had seen even a sign of Pandora. It was driving her mad.
One night, as she lied on the couch of her families cottage she had been left alone in for weeks, there was a knock. She opened the door to find Pandora, in a scene so cliché they had to laugh before they cried, she was sopping wet, stood in the rain. Lily dragged her and her suitcase inside and waited for the words to come.
“I’m doing it Lils.” She said quietly, “I have all my tickets booked. I won’t be back to England for another year and a bit.”
Despite speaking of achieving her dream, there was a melancholy note in Pandoras tone. They both ignored it as they ignored what this meeting truly was, a goodbye.
“Pan that’s great news” Lily choked out, “You can have your dream.”
The two took up seating on the couch, Pandora letting herself fall limp into Lilys arms.
“I know, I’m so excited. I just,” she pauses, seeming to weight out her thoughts before shaking her head, “I don’t know how to say goodbye to England. I already know I’ll be mighty homesick.”
“It’s not goodbye forever. Just until you have your dreams. England will be here, and you could always take it with you.” when Pandora looked at her puzzled she back tracked, “In film or something. When’s your flight?” Lily asked.
Quietly Pandora responded, “Tomorrow morning.”
“Let me take you alright?” Lily was carding her hands through her tangled blonde hair, watching Pandoras face intently as though trying to memorize each line, every curve. They both knew they’d never be like that again.
***
She left, at Pandoras gate she turned around and walked away. They’d hugged, let their tears shed, and Lily turned away.
But Lily and Pandora’s was a story full of nothing if not cliches. She felt a hand on her shoulder, spinning her to face them, Pandora stood there, looking smaller than Lily had seen her and pulled her into a secluded alcove where she was kissed once more, letting the salt of their tears mingle with cherry lip gloss. A kiss goodbye.
“We could have been great you know Lily Evans.” She said leaning their foreheads together.
“We still could be.” Lily tried to reason, “You could have asked me, you could’ve taken England with you. Ask me right now, I’d do it Pandora, I’d follow you anywhere.”
“No, Lils. I lo- I care for you, so much. Which is why I need you to stay, it’d be selfish to ask you to up and leave all this. You have an internship coming up, and real exciting things on the way. Your life is in England.”
“Not without you it’s not.” She tried; Pandora merely shook her head.
“Then you need to find it without me first anyway. I’ll be back Lily, just as much yours as I am now. I won’t ask you to wait, don’t sacrifice happiness for me, but I will be back.”
They’d begun vigorously wiping each other’s tears, holding in their sobs as best they could until Pandoras flight was called. She backed away slowly, only an inch away when Lily whispered out “England will be here when you get back, I will be here when you get back. Just as much yours as now. I’ll wait, Pan I lo-“
“No,” Pandora said as she made her way to her gate, “Hold that, tell me when I get back. If it’s still true.”
Lily nodded to Pandora as she turned her back. Neither looked back after that.
Neither kept their promise.
Lily had run into James again a few months later in a bar down from her house, they hit it off and things only grew, they had Harry on the way by the time Pandora actually made it back in 1982. While Pandora made her way through the continents, she met a man named Xenophilius and they married soon after.
When Pandora got back to England with the ring on her finger, Lily embraced her and Pandora would recount her travels to Lilys growing stomach. They gave each other one small nod, a tiny acknowledgement that yes “Part of me is still yours despite it all.”
***
2006
“Oh mum,” Harry said solemnly.
“Yeah,” she chuckled slightly sad, “I didn’t even tell your dad that end.” she said looking at her husband who was tearing up himself, “Sorry James.”
James only got up and wrapped his wife in his arms, “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t owe me what of her you wanted to keep.”
“I still have it,” she admitted into his shoulder, “the jumper I left with that new years, I kept it.”
“I know.” James said warmly.
He let go of Lily and returned to his place next to Harry.
“So, you loved Aunt Pandora?” he said loved like he was unsure, like he knew better than to put it in the past but knew not enough to be sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone by placing them back in the present.
“Yes I love your Aunt Pandora.” She said openly, no embellishment.
Harry had to look to his dad, ”Don’t look at me, I knew. Your mum and I, we love each other Haz, we really do. Being married 19 years and all kind of does that. But we weren’t each other’s first great loves.”
As Harry took in this information, there was a cough from the door. Everyone turned to see Sirius, Remus, Marlene, and Regulus at the door. in their conversation James had completely forgotten they’d made the offer of hosting dinner, Sirius’ birthday was nearing afterall and in recent years they’d settled into quiet celebrations.
“Are we interrupting?” Regulus asked.
“Not at all, we can finish this conversation later.” Harry offered, looking between his parents.
“You told him about Pan then?” Marlene asks, leant against the doorframe.
Lily shrugged, “He wanted to talk about a ‘someone’. The story sounded eerily familiar to a certain other Potter I know but this one,” she scruffed Harry’s hair, “got it into him that me and his dad had some epic love story.” She raised an eyebrow at Sirius who cowered under it.
“You never told me you loved Pandora. Or I wouldn’t have said.” He defended, arms up in the air.
“It’s alright Sirius, he would’ve found out one day. Someone will have to clean our school belongings out one day. Sappy diaries, polaroid pictures, and all.” She says.
“Oh something to look forward to.” Harry muttered sarcastically.
“What about your ‘great love’ Prongs, I assume you’re telling him, mind if we stick around for that.” Remus said borderline teasing grin on his face.
It only widened when James looked nervously between Sirius and Regulus then, Marlene, Remus, and Lily seemed like they were trying not to laugh as Regulus gave James his look of “Go on.” And Sirius looked utterly confused- Harry was with him.
“Fine, I’ll tell them both.” he relents, “But only because you, Regulus Black, are a cruel man who I can still not say no to.”
“Really that’s on you James, the same look should not work on you like it did when we were teenagers, you are forty for Christs sake pull it together.” Though his words sounded serious James heard the fond lilt within them.
“Not my fault you aged so gracefully, what did I always tell you?”
“I’m too pretty for your good.” Regulus sighed, seeming beyond done with that mantra.
“You’re too pretty for my good, now where were we.” James carried on as usual.
Lily had moved to stand with Remus and Marlene who had given up on maintaining their laughter, Harry looked puzzled for about five seconds before the dots seemed to click, while Sirius stood with an expression one has when trying to solve a particularly difficult math problem.
“Wow, your little friend group is like, grossly intertwined.” Harry commented, sending everyone off again.
“Right.” Marlene exclaimed, “Dorcas, Pete, Mary and I still have the time of our lives watching it.”
“Can we get on with this please, I would like to hear dear Prongs’ story.” Sirius said only through slightly clenched teeth. The dots had connected.
“Reg, care to join me in this one.” James asked, Regulus threw his hands up in surrender.
“You’re on your own.”
If anyone listened carefully they’d hear Sirius’ muttered “Oh I hoped I was wrong about that.”
***
1976
Potter Manor was the most cheerful place James knew through the summer, his mum would keep all the windows open as she baked, let the sound of the stereo drift through the air.
Summer of 1976 was particularly joyous, Sirius and Regulus had been with them since spring after running from their horrid house just shy of Sirius’ arranged wedding to some distant cousin. He’d grabbed Regulus on the way out and the two never looked back.
On top of that, James would see again the boy who moved in next door the a month or so before he left again for school. His name was Remus, when the Lupins first arrived his mum suggested he get try and make friends, thought it could do him well to have people close to him around home.
And well, James and Remus had certainly been…close.
***
2000
“Prongs skip this bit I can’t stand remembering yours and Moony’s fling.” Sirius chimed in, leaning back on his husband.
”neither can we.” James and Remus say in sync.
“Grossly intertwined.” Harry mutters again.
***
1976
That summer was particularly joyous for many reasons and it only got better as James and Remus fell back into their routine of the months before. Spending some of the days together before retiring to one of their beds that night.
It wasn’t until two weeks in Remus and Sirius finally met, thanks very much to Sirius’ trouble with knocking
He opened the door to James’ room to find this tall Welshman stood, buckling his belt and throwing on a jumper at once with his best mate lying in bed behind him. Sirius, being Sirius, only leant on the door frame and smirked between them.
“James,” he started, looking past Remus slightly, “I came to ask if you’d like to join Reg and I on a walk, though that seems pretty frivolous now, put that energy to better use.” Then he turned his eyes to Remus and James honest to God saw his pupils dilate right there as his jaw dropped.
Never missing a chance he had to speak, “Sirius, mate close your mouth, you’ll catch flies Remus is a handsome bloke but you could have a little bit of composure.”
Remus laughed heartily, tossing Sirius a wink and James a wave before walking out the door. making sure to leave a pat on a still frozen Sirius’ shoulder as he left.
A few weeks later, when Remus would come around to someone else’s bed, no one was too beat up about it.
While those two occupied the house, James and Regulus would spend their afternoons side by side, trekking down various paths and dipping their toes in newfound ponds. It was on one of these ventures that a new world opened up to them.
On the bank of one of their favorite spots, James and Regulus laid watching the clouds float by and trying to pass the time.
“Where do you see yourself by 30?” James asked absent minded.
He received a hearty laugh in response, oh how he adored that sound, the way it slowly descended into silent gasps for air, after a right howl. If he could he’d bottle it, shower in the bliss it brought for the rest of his life.
James chuckled with him, asking once they’d calmed “What? What’s so weird about that?”
“I’m sorry James, didn’t realize this was some interview. Should I have worn my fancy suit?” he teased.
James put on a look of consideration, “An excuse to see you in that suit? I would find you interviews every other day.”
Regulus gave him a tap on the shoulder for that, leaning back onto his elbows, both of their faces already hurt too much from smiling. It was magical to think this was the same boy who showed up on their doorstep months ago, pale and afraid, never letting too much slip. He smiled freely in their fields, basked in the sun well enough to actually work up a slight tan, James was in awe of the light that Regulus Black could radiate.
He'd known for a while, since before they returned that he ever so slightly, wildly fancied Regulus. Even when Regulus hated him, when he glared at him in the halls, and wouldn’t even think to call him by his first name, James couldn’t stamp out his rising feelings. They only grew with reconciliation. Though in his defense, when he saw the other so much like that how could he not.
***
2006
“James Potter your wife is right there. What is this ‘like that’ ‘how could I not’ business.” Sirius commented, Lily looked at him incredulously, “Don’t worry Lily, my love, I’ll take you somewhere you’ll be appreciated, far away from this brotherfucker.”
“Don’t bring me into this. I am plenty appreciated thank you, I mean-” she pointed at Harry as if to prove that point, the boy grimaced, “don’t give us that look, be thankful your fathers so afraid of that one there.” Lily said pointing to Sirius.
“Oi don’t spoil the ending,” Regulus jumped in grinning, “I need to see how red Sirius’ face can get.”
“Alright, James get on with it. Spare no detail.” Lily encouraged.
“Actually dad, please, for the sake of Sirius and I and probably your own wellbeing if Sirius hears it. Leave. Out. Details.” Harry scrambled to plead.
“Oh how I love revisiting the memories of those details.” James prodded, only to join Regulus’ mission in watching Sirius’ blood pressure rise.
“Settle on making more to reminisce on or just get on with the story it will you. It’ll be breakfast before we even set the table at this rate.”
“MUM?” Harry just about shrieks,
Sirius joins in his chorus with a very similar tone, “LILY.”
“LILS” Remus managed out through his clear amusement.
“LILLIAN.” Even Marlene had something to say to that.
Lily merely shrugged, looking at the faces of her absolutely gob smacked husband. Regulus pushed up from his seat and whispered slyly something in her ear that made her chuckle.
“Spoilers Regulus. But we can discuss that later.” She said lightly shoving him back to his seat.
Sirius watched on, his eyes squinted and mouth hung open, “has Reg always been so, so shameless?”
“Yes.” Everyone, even Harry, concludes.
***
1976
“C’mon then, where do you see yourself at thirty?” he asked again.
Regulus settled back onto the ground resting his head on James’ shoulder, “I think I’d like a house, you know that library down the road from your parents house, the one Minerva lives in. I would love to live there and spend my days running the library. Of course I’d have to put in a tv so you don’t bore yourself to death there. Maybe we could adopt a cat, fight about what we name it, but you’ll give in and we’ll call it something like Leo, or Luna.” As he speaks he drifts further into the crook of James’ elbow, eyes still to the sky with a kind of faraway look, like he’s there.
“Reg.” James whispered out, careful to disrupt the moment.
“Yeah Jamie.” He replied, finally turning his eyes to look at James’ face.
“I’m in your future?” he asked, half meek half hopeful. When Regulus’ eyes widened and his face went apologetic, James placed an arm carefully around his waist pulling him in.
“Tell me Reg, tell me I’m in your future.”
“Every single one I can picture.” He breathed out, James could feel Regulus’ breath on his lips and it was the final straw.
They both leant in at once, it all slot into place.
It was a chaste kiss, a test of the waters, when they broke apart James looked Regulus in the eye and said, “I want it too, the cat, the library, if you’re there, I want it.”
Regulus didn’t have words for that, he just leant in again and, in the softness of his touch, tried to get across how much that future meant to him.
***
2006
“Why am I kind of rooting for them, right now.” Marlene said clutching Lily’s hand, even she nodded.
“Must just be my story telling.” James reasoned rather bashfully.
“So, how did it end? why did it end?” Harry asked.
“Your father is too caring for his own good, being with me was eating him up.” Regulus explained, “The not being able to tell Sirius, lying, sneaking around. It was fun when we were sixteen, but by the time we were eighteen, in love with each other but still so afraid of it. it just wasn’t working. So I left, I told him ‘you deserve to be happy in thanks to your love, not in spite of it.’ and I left. It worked out in the end, he met your mum. Who, since it seems you dad isn’t getting that far through the story, called me like seventeen times after James told her everything to ask if I’m still in love with him, and to let me know that James Potter does in fact ‘have two hands’ and ‘we have space in the bed’. I think she might’ve been after me as much as him if I’m honest.”
“You know it.” Lily said with an exaggerated wink.
“Right, and you didn’t take up that offer.” Remus added as if not blatantly obvious.
“No, I didn’t take up that offer. It felt a lot like pity at the time, and besides what newlyweds really want the grooms ex-boyfriend around,” everyone pointedly ignored when James and Lily raised their hands, “instead I-
“You slept your way through Europe.” Sirius added in the same sing song voice.
“You prick,” Regulus said throwing a pillow at his brother.
“I was worried for you for that you know. If only I knew you were just emo about this twat.” He continued.
“ANYWAY, I travelled through Europe, did my painting, sold my poems. Ended up in that very library with that very cat. Except I let your father name her, felt fitting for that change in everything else.”
“I know you love Snuggles’ name.” James yelled; Regulus rolled his eyes.
“I have to ask one more thing of you James,” Sirius started, “why tell him this story to prove your point instead of some offhand fling like Amos Diggory.”
“Amos Diggory.” Harry squeaked; all eyes turned to him. “I guess the saying is true, like father like son.”
“Oh my God Cedric?” Lily exclaimed, “you know, we do still know Amos, why not have the Diggory’s around. James? What do you say?”
Harry groaned into his palms.