Sam found himself standing at the docks at sunset. It was uncharacteristically empty, no fishermen or other townspeople whatsoever. The sky was glowing orange, the boats were rocking gently on the water and a figure sat at the end of the path, feet dangling over the sea. Sam’s breath stuttered as he recognised the blond hair, the built, the uniform. As if his legs were on autopilot, he walked over to the man, lowering himself next to him.
For a while neither said a word, as they stared at the sunset. But after some time, Sam couldn’t resist looking at the man any longer and he found him already watching Sam with a sad smile.
Riley looked exactly like Sam remembered him.
“Sam, honey, what are you doing?”, Riley asked, all soft and sad. It took everything for Sam not to cry and fall into his arms.
“I don’t… what do you mean?”
“Why didn’t you kiss him?”
“I-”, Sam spluttered as he thought back to the moment earlier in the day, on the boat when they took a break from working.
Bucky had leaned in and Sam- Sam really wanted to kiss him. But then he thought of Riley. With a hand to the chest, he stopped Bucky and gently declined. Because of Riley. He could still recall the man’s disappointed face. And it hurt him but he-
“I thought of you and I- I couldn’t.”
“Honey”, Riley answered. The pet name made Sam’s heart ache with grief and nostalgia. “You really have to let me go. I know you like him. And he likes you. Don’t deny yourself this because of me.”
“But it feels like I’m betraying you”, Sam confessed, not more than a whisper. “Like you died for me and I turn around and replace you.”
“Dear, you know that isn’t true. We were in the military, we knew what we signed up for, what could happen. You promised me you were going to try and be happy, even if I fall and I promised you the same. It’s been over a decade. You know that’s what I’d want. Bucky is a good man.”
“I know- I know he is and I really do like him. But-”
“No buts Sammy. You gotta let me go. I’m not asking you to forget me, just to finally move on. Get your man.” Riley smiled encouragingly, then it turned smug. “He is gorgeous, by the way, I’m glad you kept your taste. And your relationship reminds me a little of us, when we first met.” Sam snorted at that.
“Kind of, yeah. He’s just as stubborn and teasing. Except we used to move a lot faster.”
“Mh, true, I don’t know how he could keep his hands off you for so long. I budged after- what? Two months of knowing you?”
“One and a half, you literally took the first chance you got, when we were assigned on a mission, just us two”, Sam grinned at the memory. It’s been over a decade but he still remembered that day, it had been one of his happiest ever.
“Okay smartass. Was the best decision of my life though. And now you go and wake up and make the best decision for your life, Sammy. Go kiss that man, you both deserve it.”
Riley looked at him, honest, cheerful. Sam knew this was just his imagination, knew that this was how he last saw Riley - down to the uniform and engagement ring. But this is what Riley truly would have wanted. He would want Sam to be happy.
“Can I stay for just another moment? I missed you so much”, Sam mumbled, not having the heart to tear his gaze away from his lost love just yet. This time, Riley’s smile faltered, falling into sadness and grief and longing.
“Okay”, he whispered back. “Just another moment, then you move on.”
“Yeah.”
So they stayed, as the sun set at the horizon, enjoying each other’s presence for the last time.
When Sam woke up, he felt strangely content, at peace. Usually, whenever he dreamt of Riley, he’d been a wreck, but this time he felt just… calm. As if he finally got closure. In some way, he did.
On his way downstairs, he felt a certain giddiness rise in his chest, like a teenage boy on his way to tell his crush he liked them. Also true, in some way.
“Morning Sarah, boys, where’s Bucky?” He greeted his family at the breakfast table, wasting no time getting to the point.
“Morning, I think he’s reading down by the docks. Don’t you want to eat?”, Sarah answered, a suspecting smile forming on her face, while the boys mumbled a sleepy “morning uncle Sam.”
“No time, thanks though'', Sam shouted, while already sprinting out the backdoor to go run down to the docks. He hadn’t felt this alive since he gave his first Captain America speech to the politicians after the fight with the flag smashers.
He found Bucky sitting in the same place as yesterday, which was coincidentally also the place where Riley had sat in his dream, down to the feet dangling just above the water. For a moment Sam stopped to admire the view. And he found himself happy that Bucky chose this spot. Because in some way, it was a metaphor for his place in Sam’s heart. Where Riley used to sit (still does, just.. differently) now sat Bucky. It would have bothered him once, hell it did yesterday but now... He was just happy that it wasn’t empty anymore.
“Bucky!” Sam called and the man in question looked up from his book - Lord of the rings, Sam recognised - with a smile.
“What’s up?”, he asked, but Sam gave no immediate answer, just plopped down on the wood and took the book from his hands.
“Hey, I was reading that”, Bucky protested weakly and Sam laughed as he put the book down.
“This is going to sound so stupid, but I had a dream revelation”, he announced proudly. Bucky raised his eyebrows.
“Okay and now I’m not allowed to read?”
“Nope, not when I’m kissing you.”
Bucky didn’t even get a second to react, before Sam grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled the man in for the announced kiss. For that it came so surprising Bucky didn’t waste a second to respond, kissing Sam back with an intensity he hadn’t anticipated, hands on his waist and all. They had to break the kiss shortly after, as Sam was smiling too brightly to make it work.
“Where’d that come from? Not that I’m complaining”, Bucky asked, slightly out of breath, but happy. It made Sam a little proud to see the effect he could have on a super soldier.
“Dream revelation, didn’t you listen?” Sam laughed and kissed him again for good measure.
“Should I be concerned about that?”
“Nah. Had a good talk with my imagination of Riley and I came to realise that he’d kick my head in if he knew I’m intentionally missing out on your hot ass, because of some dumb feelings of betrayal towards someone who always wanted to see me happy. So… here I am, and god Bucky you make me so happy.”
Bucky watched in stunned silence, a grin so joyful it made Sam’s heartbeat quicken by just looking at him.
“I- Sam, I don’t know what to say. This is more than I could have ever asked for.”
“Be my boyfriend then?”
“Yes, yes, of course, oh my god.” They laughed and kissed and laughed more and kissed again and it was the happiest morning ever.
The sun was still rising, when Sam realised that while Riley was his past, and he’d cherish the time they had together until he’d die, Bucky was his present and future. That what he felt for Bucky was, undeniably, love. He wasn’t prepared to say it yet, but it felt good.
Sam could love again and there was no better person for him to love than Bucky Barnes. He's sure Riley would agree.