Family

It’s a morning like any other as a stray soccer ball bounces down the stairs, coming to a halt at the final step as her foot finds it. Pressing firmly, hands on hips, as she stares up at the guilty faces of her sons. Cass, having just turned seventeen last month, stands on his fourteen-year-old brother AJ’s right. His face is the most telling as he clears his throat, pushing at his glasses in an attempt to focus on anything but his mother’s fiery gaze.

“What did I tell you?”

“We just- “

The teen’s voice fails as her hands raises. A single finger extended and head shake enough to shut them both up as she continues staring them down. The years spent married to a former assassin only helping her hone her ability to instill dread in her children.

“What. Did. I. Say?”

Two voices, one deeper, one cracking, parrot what she’d told them earlier.

“To not play soccer in the house.”

“That’s right. Now take this,” setting her jaw, the woman rears her foot back before sending the soccer ball flying up the stairs. The offending object caught by Cass before it can make impact with AJ’s face, both boys swallow deeply.

“Yes, mama.”

Stern eyes softening, she smiles. Cass and AJ let out an audible sigh of relief as the oldest, after tossing the ball into his bedroom, heads down the stairs. A smile creeps up on him as his mother throws her arms around him, a wet kiss pressing into his cheek before he can pull away.

Cass can’t help laughing as her kiss turns to a quick raspberry. Ruffling his hair before letting him take leave and head towards the kitchen. AJ, having slipped past while she was distracted, now sits on the floor. Two little hands held tightly on his own as he spun his sister around. It isn’t long before the four-year-old is puddy in his hands, both of which tickle up and down her sides.

“Mama – haha – can I h-have cartoons?”

Each word ends breathily as Lila fights to speak through the torture. Sarah, shaking her head, obliges. Her cell phone becomes home to her daughter’s favorite cartoon before it’s set on the coffee table. Lila, trying to watch and play with AJ at the same time, finds herself beaten. The little girls’ curls bouncing to and fro, big brown eyes closed and smile on full display as she collapses onto her brother’s lap. His own laughter joining hers as Sarah, holding back her own chuckles, makes her way upstairs.

The frantic play of her youngest children dying down as she ascends the stairs, each step letting out a distinctive creak. Her feet glide across the smooth wooden landing and into her bedroom. The laundry she’d been trying to ignore lay slightly wrinkled in the basket. With a defeated sigh, the woman lifts the basket and dumps it onto the bed.

Sarah’s eyes drift around the cozy bedroom. The walls, still covered in the paint she and Daniel had picked out when they’d moved into the room. Her parents insisted that they stay with them until Cass was born. Said arrangement held strong until they passed on. Small patches of paint crack, some threatening to curl away from the wall. She just can’t bring herself to touch it. Knowing that it was something Daniel’s hands had touched and worked on is enough for her to preserve it until it’s impossible to do so. The day she refreshes the paint will be a day she loses one more thing from her time with Daniel.

Her boys will always be the reminder. The only reminder she should need, but for her, it’s just not that simple. There will always be a place for her late husband in her life and heart. Something she’s grateful James understands wholeheartedly and doesn’t begrudge her for. In the moments she loses herself to memories, staring at the paint of certain corners of the room, seeing what was once there but isn’t anymore, he let her be. The only inclination James was even in the room would be his strong presence as he waited on their bed. Quiet and respectful until she came back to him.

Tossing a pair of blue jeans to the side, she stares at the half-folded pile. Sarah, pulling out the same jacket James had worn when she met him, pushes the remaining clothes to her side of the bed before crawling into bed. His now worn-down jacket resting over her shoulders as she burrows into his pillow. His scent still lingering as the exhaustion from a busy work week finally catches up to her.

Little did she know the peaceful nap would be interrupted by Lila. Her daughter led her to the phone as it lay on the living room floor, having not made it to the table before she retreated upstairs. The broken voice of her brother and awful what if’s that swirl around her head almost brings her down.

“Cass, AJ, Lila.”

Her knees nearly buckling when she finally hangs on with Sam.

Picking up whatever pieces of strength she could find, she turns. Lila, sitting on the floor in front of her half-colored page, stares up at her mother. Cass stands confused at the entryway of the kitchen while AJ resides at the bottom of the stairs. Sarah feels her voice catch as her oldest steps forward, now almost as tall as his uncle.

“What’s wrong, mama?”

“Something happened on the mission.”

AJ, jumping off the bottom stair, approaches her now.

“Are dad and uncle Sam, okay?”

The young man's heart sinks as she shakes her head.

“No babies, they’re not.”

“They have boo-boos?”

All eyes lock on the small girl as she stands before her mother, her coloring completely abandoned.

“Your daddy has bad boo-boos. Uncle Sam is just really scared, and he needs us to be strong so he can be strong for daddy, you understand?”

“I don’t know.”

Smoothing down her daughter’s hair, the tired woman guides the child back to her coloring book. Turning to a fresh page for her.

“How about you color two pretty pictures for them? Can you do that?”

“Okay.”

Cass and AJ watch their mother press a kiss to her cheek before standing, the weary woman wasting no time in pulling the slowly approaching boys into a tight hug. Both boys stay as long as their mother needs them, holding her tightly as they ponder the situation. Their small moment of comfort is interrupted by Sarah’s phone.

Pulling away from her boys and taking the phone from her pocket, she watches as the lock screen consisting of a photo of her family’s boat flips to a family photo taken after Lila turned three. Her small family, including her beloved brother, stood on the front porch for Carlos to capture the moment. James’ flesh arm around her waist with Lila sitting on his left shoulder, his vibranium hand holding her firmly. Both her hands rested on the shoulders of her boys.

Everyone is smiling.

Everyone at peace.

Her moment of reprieve ends when she notices a text from Torres.

‘Please go outside.’

Sarah approaches and pulls open the front door to find a small military aircraft parked in her yard. The craft, being a newer model, is almost impossible to hear coming, landing, or taking off. She remembers Sam telling her about the advancements but had yet to see one in person until now.

“Mrs. Barnes? Torres sent me to retrieve you. I’m to take you, if you wish, to the base.”

“I- My kids-“

“Go on, mama.”

Sarah’s hand flies to her chest as she jumps around, Cass’s deepened voice as firm as his feet are planted. His eyes locked with her own before he nodded his head. Repeating the request.

“We’ll be here, and we know what to do in case of an emergency.”

Holding his siblings tighter, the young man’s the spitting image of her Daniel.

“Uncle Sam needs you… Dad needs you.”

Biting on her lip with enough force to cause twinges of pain, the mother of three takes a deep breath. Pushing one foot in front of the other and making it halfway to the aircraft when the high-pitched voice of her youngest calls to her. Tiny feet running across the muddied yard, still freshly wet from rain, before barreling into her mother. Two papers finding their way into Sarah’s hands as she stares down at Lila.

“These make them better.”

Unfolding the papers, Sarah finds two different coloring pages.

One depicts the image of a bird, filled in with bright colors, while the other shows a cat. The animal, also brightly colored, reminds her of a time she’d found James taking care of some stray kittens. His weakness for cats as a whole just adds one more thing for her to love.

Over the top of each page, one in Cass’s handwriting, the other in AJ’s, sits the words.

‘We love you so much.’

Sarah, pulling Lila against her in one final hug, squeezes her daughter for dear life before planting a kiss to her hair. Shooing her back to her brothers just as she climbs into the aircraft. Her stomach crawls with anxiety as the pilot takes them up. The nervous, but brave faces of her babies staring up at her until they disappear from the others sight.

------------------------

Sam keeps up, pumping air into Bucky’s lungs until he’s finally pulled back. The urge to fight building as he watches someone else do his job; strong hands keeping him from staying at Bucky’s side as he’s wheeled through the surgical room doors of the base’s hospital. Torres stays close as Sam’s body, adrenaline draining, finally catches up with him.

Losing his footing, Captain America can only hold onto his friend when his knees buckle. His vision blurs. Eyes growing so heavy they fall closed without his consent. The name of his partner brushing past Sam’s lips before he loses himself completely, giving in to blissful darkness.

Different memories push themselves into his dreams as he rests. Dead to the world around him.

Sam can see his family home. The small family is nowhere in sight, all aside from Bucky, who stands on the front porch. His back to Sam as the latter approaches cautiously.

"Buck? You good?"

The man never replies, only straightening his back as he stares at the front door. It's not until Sam's hand clamps down onto left shoulder that he turns, muzzled by an all too familiar mask. Blood splatter coating his clothes and face as Sam, startled, pushes past him. Throwing the door to his home open only to find a blood bath. Sarah and Lila sit dead near the kitchen as Cass and AJ lay on the floor of the living room, clearly having gone down with a fight.

Acting on his first impulse, he screams, balling his hand into a fist as he spins to face the Winter Soldier. Throwing a well-aimed punch towards his face,he's an inch from making contact when his arm's caught and twisted, painfully behind his back. Yelping at the strain, he bares his teeth.

Staring into the eyes of someone he'd thought of as a friend... A brother.

Cool vibranium fingers curl around his throat.

He can only embrace the tears as the life is slowly choked out of him. The dead eyes of the Winter Soldier being the last thing he sees.

Sam's heart skips a beat as he comes to. The thin, familiar sheets of a hospital bed scratching at his uniformless form. Only clothed by a tank-top and shorts, he takes it all in. Same old walls, same old sounds... Same old medical center. Shakily taking in a breath, he melts into the mattress. Letting his heart calm down before attempting to fall back asleep. Hopes of happier family dreams buzzing until his ear catches a gentle humming.

"On your left."

Sarah's soft, yet broken, voice reaches him. It's only when he turns his head that he sees her. Braids loosened, clothes rumpled, and eyes swollen, his sister sits tall. Both hands cradling the limp, right hand of her husband. Bucky lay looking the same as he'd left him, only this time sporting a gray hospital gown. Heavy bandages barely visible through the sheets and blanket as he lay in what Sam can only assume is a medically induced state. This base being one of the only ones with medicine strong enough to knock a super soldier out for a few days.

"Hey, sis."

Sarah stands slowly, laying Bucky's hand down as if it were made of fine china. Left hand quickly brushes through his hair before she presses a heartfelt kiss to the side of his mouth, careful to avoid the tube. The offending object is still necessary as the man sleeps on, oblivious to everything. Turning his head while averting his eyes, he tries not to listen in as Sarah whispers something to Bucky. He can faintly hear another kiss being given before her footsteps approach his bedside.

She says nothing as he keeps his eyes on the wall. She merely reaches out, takes him in her arms, and holds him tighter than she ever has before. His sobs mingling with her own, as the machines keeping Bucky alive fill the room.