Ellie isn’t sure how long she sits there, face tucked into the crook of Riley’s neck. But eventually the tears slow down— her fury and sorrow replaced by a dull numbness.
When she opens her eyes, a glimpse of Riley’s bloodied hand sends a wave of dread through her all over again. The bite is not bad yet, but already she can see the thin tendrils climbing out of the teeth marks.
It isn’t fair! She wants to scream. Nothing about this is fair. Riley was going to stay. They were supposed to figure themselves out, and be best friends forever and rule the fucking QZ like they built the place.
But instead, they have less than a day together before succumbing to the infected wounds.
Ellie tightens her grip on Riley. She doesn’t ever want to leave this spot by her side. A twisted piece of her hopes when the fungus begins to grow, that their bodies merge together forever stuck as one. That wouldn’t be so bad, she thinks. They could grow into the ground, tendrils spreading out like roots from a tree. It would be poetic, just like Riley said.
The thought makes dying a little bit less scary.
The fingers combing gently through Ellie’s hair slow down to rest at the nape of her neck. Riley’s thumb caresses a soft spot behind her ear. Despite herself, it makes Ellie feel warm, which makes her angry in turn.
How stupid for her to still get giddy during a moment like this. How stupid, that if Ellie hadn’t been so in love— if she never left with Riley tonight— they might still have a chance to live.
“We shouldn’t just sit here.” Riley speaks suddenly, voice soft, “I’m driving myself crazy.”
She isn’t the only one.
“Where are we gonna go?” Ellie asks hoarsely. They can’t leave the mall. Can’t risk hurting someone else.
“I don’t know.” Riley admits, “But I do know we shouldn’t waste the last few hours of our life moping around… We should celebrate.”
Ellie looks up at her, puzzled, “Celebrate what Riley? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re about to turn into bloodthirsty monsters. I’m not really in the mood for a party.”
She manages not to roll her eyes, “We should celebrate our life. Our friendship.” Gingerly, Riley intertwines their fingers, sending a wave of goosebumps up Ellie’s arm. “Celebrate what could’ve been.”
Ellie thinks she might start crying again.
Shakily, she nods, “Yeah. Yeah okay, you sap. Let’s fucking do it.”
She lets out a breathy laugh. Ellie tries to burn the sound into her memory. She doesn’t ever want to forget it, even when the rest of her memories are taken by infection.
Shakily, Riley rises from the floor, not letting go of Ellie as she helps the smaller girl to her feet. Blushing, she takes note of the damp spot on her friend's shoulder.
“Sorry for crying on you.” Ellie says, wiping her nose, “Your shirt’s probably full of boogers.”
Riley simply hooks her arm through Ellie’s, smiling, “Out of everyone else’s snot in Boston, I’m glad yours is the one smeared on my clothes.”
“Gross,” Ellie scoffs, but she knows her cheeks are pink. Sometimes she wishes her skin was darker like Riley’s, if only to hide how red her face gets whenever she says something sweet like that. Since the initial shock of being bitten has ended, the unspoken realization of Ellie having kissed Riley is impossible to ignore.
She understands how unreasonable it is to be nervous. They’ve got maybe a few hours of consciousness left— Ellie doesn’t have to wonder how kissing her best friend will affect their relationship in the long run. But with their arms locked together, fingers tangled in a knot, Ellie’s heart hammers in her chest nonetheless.
The ghost of Riley’s lips on her own is still present as they walk. Ellie finds herself bringing a hand up to touch her mouth. She’s never kissed anyone before (except for that one night Riley had asked her to sneak off to the 7-11 with her, she’d practiced kissing her pillow beforehand just in case. That probably doesn’t count though). She hopes it wasn’t bad. Ellie hadn’t missed her mouth so she supposes it could have been worse.
She glances at the taller girl. Riley’s face is tired, her brown eyes full with what Ellie assumes is acceptance. She no longer appears regretful, just… sad. Melancholic.
Ellie bites her lip, wanting to speak but not knowing what to say.
“Where are we going?”
Riley shrugs, “Figured we should dress up. There’s a suit shop on the other end of the mall.”
“Why do we have to dress up for a celebration?”
“I dunno. People used to do it before the outbreak.” Riley answers, “For like, funerals and weddings and stuff.” At the world wedding, her eyes dart to Ellie.
“Oh.” Ellie flushes, “So why suits then?”
Riley cocks an eyebrow, smirking, “Well we can dress up in lingerie if you want, but I figured suits felt more our style.”
Ellie’s ears get hot. She’s pretty sure her face is redder than the blood on her arm. “Tempting but no. Yeah. Suits are fine.”
Riley giggles, “You look like a tomato.”
“Shut up!” Ellie snaps, but she’s smiling.
Riley bumps their elbows playfully, “If I’d known flirting with you made you this dorky I would’ve done it a lot sooner.”
Ellie isn’t sure if it’s the fungus in her system, or the butterflies in her belly, but she thinks she might explode.
“Y-you’re flirting?” She asks, voice cracking.
Now it’s Riley’s turn to look bashful, “I mean, I’ve been doing my best all night.”
All night?
“What the fuck.” Ellie gasps. “Are you shitting me?”
Incredulous, Riley responds, “No, dumbass,” Is Ellie seeing things or are her cheeks just the slightest bit pink? “I mean, I liked when you kissed me didn’t I?”
Ellie can’t help the way her eyes flick to Riley’s mouth, “I guess. I dunno. Maybe.” God she’s so embarrassing.
Riley swings her free hand idly, “Well I did.” She puffs out a nervous breath, “And I uh, I know our time is running out and it’s probably the most unromantic moment ever… but I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”
Her heart soars.
“Neither would I.” Ellie says breathlessly.
Every thought and fear about their fate immediately disappears. The only thing she can think about is Riley. She leans down a little, while Ellie rocks onto her tiptoes. Their eyes meet and her chest aches. Riley giggles nervously. It’s so adorable Ellie nearly melts to the floor.
“Okay,” Riley whispers. The next thing Ellie knows their lips are touching, and the fire that coursed through her body the first time they kissed erupts once again.
Her lips are so soft, and kind of sweaty, and Ellie can feel the way Riley smiles into her. It’s overwhelming. If it weren’t for their short time left, Ellie may have made kissing Riley her new hobby.
When she starts pulling away, Ellie stands up straighter and pulls her in for another eager kiss. She should be more self conscious, but at this point Ellie can’t bring herself to care.
They both laugh when their lips part. Riley is still standing so close. Ellie’s smile must look goofy, but so does Riley’s.
“You’re pretty.” Ellie says, chest heaving with excitement and nerves, “And cool.”
It makes Riley laugh even more, “So are you.”
They stand there briefly, simply looking at one another. Ellie maps out the soft curves of her friend's face, the way her brown eyes look gold in the fluorescent lights.
“We should keep going.” Riley says eventually, “I don’t know how much time we have left.”
The joy in Ellies heart dims just a bit.
She lets Riley continue to lead her through the rundown building. Shops pass by; the arcade and the carousel. A rusty cotton candy machine. A quarter dispenser filled with twenty year old gumballs.
“Do you feel anything yet?” Ellie asks.
Riley bites the inside of her cheek, “A little. I think we’ve still got a few hours left though.” She doesn’t sound scared. Ellie nods, inspecting her own bite mark. It’s slightly worse than before, but hasn’t spread as much as Riley’s yet.
Maybe she’d been bitten first. Yeah, that’s probably why. She doesn’t feel any different. At least she doesn’t think so. But the effects will hit her soon, no doubt.
“Here we are.” Riley says, gesturing toward a tailored men’s wedding store. Once inside, hands on her hips, she sizes up the other girl, “We’ll probably have to go to the little boys section for you.”
Ellie throws a tie at her, “Fuck you. I’m not that short.” She’s grown a whole inch since last year!
Riley snorts, “Sure. You’re big and scary, my bad.”
She sticks her nose up in the air, “Thank you.”
“Go put on a damn outfit,” Riley chuckles, “We can surprise each other.”
“So bossy.” Ellie teases, doing as she says.
Near the back of the room, Ellie finds, are the smaller suits. Racks of pants and dress shirts line the walls. She figures that’s the place to start.
She searches through the shelves with grim focus. Ellie doesn’t like the idea of being far from Riley like this, even if she’s only a few yards away.
Every pair of pants she tries on (over her jeans of course) are either too puffy in the ass or several inches too long. Silently Ellie curses her scrawny frame.
“Nothing fits!” Ellie whines. “These pants are made for giants!”
“Just throw on the top half then!” Her friend shouts back.
Ellie scans the area for a jacket. A dress shirt would probably be better, but she’s apprehensive about changing out of the clothes she’s wearing. There could be more infected nearby, and Ellie isn’t keen on being caught off guard again— regardless of her present wound.
A brown tweed jacket ends up being the one she chooses. It’s ugly enough that Riley will joke about it, but there’s a certain charm in weird clothing. At least to Ellie.
After throwing on the coat, she plunges into a box of ties. In the flickering light they almost look like snakes. Creepy.
She tries on a couple, but soon realizes she has no fucking clue how to tie a tie.
Giving up, she clips a bright red kids bowtie to the collar of her shirt. It looks like shit.
“Are you almost done?” Ellie yells, making her way toward the spot she left Riley.
“Yeah come over here! I found a mirror!”
Following the sound of her voice, a bundle of nerves forms in her stomach.
Riley is facing her reflection when Ellie finds her. She notices the circles around her eyes have gotten darker, her brown skin noticeably more pale. The next thing she sees is the surprisingly crisp white suit the girl has on.
None of Ellie’s clothes fit her well. The bowtie pulls down the neck of her shirt, and her coat is itchy and several sizes too big.
But Riley… Riley looks beautiful.
As if hearing Ellies thoughts, she turns, eyes growing when she sees her. Beneath Riley’s gaze she tries not to squirm. There’s no malice in her eyes. Nothing teasing. She simply stares, the same way she’d stared at her on the carrousel. The same way she’d stared at her after they kissed.
“You look handsome.” Riley says softly.
Ellie takes a deep breath, trying to come up with a decent compliment to give back. But the air seems to have been choked out of her lungs. No one’s ever called her handsome before. She’s rarely even been called pretty outside of it being sarcastic. Ellie knows she isn't… feminine. She likes wearing boy clothes rather than girl clothes. She’d rather have her hair up than down. She reads graphic novels and space books instead of romances. Things the other girls at the orphanage just don’t get.
But Riley does. Riley always gets her. She always dresses cool— no matter if she’s wearing the pain gray uniform of the FEDRA school, or the badass mismatched outfits she picks out herself when they scope out the lost and found in the QZ. Riley could be wearing a garbage bag and Ellie would still think she’s the most beautiful person she’s ever laid eyes on. But this… this is different. Something about Riley now is magnetic. Ellie doesn’t ever want to stop looking at her.
“So do you.” Ellie finally responds, feeling so much it makes her tremble.
Riley takes her in, as if Ellie is her whole world.
For the first time ever, Ellie realizes she really is.
“Wanna dance?” Riley asks, holding up Ellie’s walkman. She hadn’t realized she’d brought it with them. Ellie nods.
She turns on another Etta James song. This one is noticeably slower.
Tentatively, she wraps her arms loosely around Ellie’s shoulders, resting a cheek on her head. Ellie hugs her waist, burrowing her face into the soft fabric on the taller girl's chest. Through her ribs, she can hear the uneven beat of Riley’s heart.
I heard them promise, ‘Till death do us part’
Each word was a pain in my heart
Oh, all I could do, all I could do
was cry (cry, cry, cry)
“I’d marry you if I could.” Ellie whispers shakily. Her eyes fill with tears.
Riley rests a hand on the back of her head. She gasps at Ellies words, “We can pretend. We can imagine we’re older and the world is better and we’re at a pretty venue somewhere in
“Alright.” Ellie agrees, voice thick with emotion.
Riley presses her lips to the crown of Ellie's head. She squeezes closer, hoping she never has to let go. “I love you.”
Ellie makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob, “I love you too.”
To the moon and back.
Ellie isn’t sure how long they stay like that. But when the pair eventually returns to the Halloween shop as exhaustion begins to take over them, she finds that it truly was the best night of her life.
***
Marlene finds Ellie with the gun still in her hands. She kicks and screams at her when she tries pulling her away from Riley’s body.
“Please,” Ellie begs, “I can’t leave her.”
Marlene tells her the Fireflies will bury her in a proper grave.
It doesn't bring much comfort.
As Marlene gives Ellie one last chance to say goodbye, she wraps her tweed jacket around her best friend's lifeless body.
She leaves her Etta James tape with her too. Ellie won’t be able to listen to it again. And Riley always did love listening to music before she fell asleep.