Interchangeable

The few times that Tony did dare to imagine the way that he would meet Loki had nothing on the way it really went. He imagined blood, fire, and chaos- everything that the God of Mischief is known for and everything that he had proven himself to be- he imagined hostages and maybe finding a way to get some revenge for the defenestration. In reality, the guy was frog marched into SHIELD headquarters by his brother with green eyes and a pathetic expression on his face. 

Turns out that the so-named "Glow Stick of Destiny" was never Loki's to begin with and the guy was just as much its bitch as Clint was. The billionaire spent the day after that pronouncement trying to ignore the fact that the man was going to be living in his tower and combing through surveillance footage. In hindsight, it was obvious that there was something wrong with the way the God was acting- for starters he hesitated where it should have been an easy decision, and most blatantly, a guy several hundred years old and known for his cunning should never have been that stupid as to open a wormhole in the middle of one of the most populated cities in the world. What was the saying? "Hindsight is always 20/20"? 

Loki and the Avengers had a tumultuous relationship at best, and antagonistic at worse. It took time for Clint to be able to differentiate the man they were living with from the being he was when the Mad Titan was controlling him on top of the blatant mistrust the other Avengers housed for him. At first Tony was impartial, content to let the God become another stray that the good captain invited into his home without bothering to ask him first, but then he was curious. He didn't understand magic and he didn't like things that he couldn't understand. 

The billionaire made Thor his testing dummy for a while, running any and every test he could think of on Mjornior and the God and even going so far as to stop trying to hide his intimate knowledge of biology. He had escaped so many different situations and propositions with the edge knowing biological functions nobody realized you knew that allowing others to know his secret had him on edge. 

The tension was thick enough for a knife to cut right through it. The genius knew something had to give and, from the look in Loki's eyes, the God understood it as well. It was a normal morning, starting with Tony loudly and unabashedly dragging a stool to the counter next to the coffee machine and falling right back asleep. The other inhabitants of the kitchen just shook their heads, knowing without a doubt and with much practice that nothing but the ding of the coffee maker would wake the man from his slumber. 

Steve was cooking enough to feed an army of super people- which they really were- without a single complaint. He had a stack of pancakes out at the same time as the eggs and bacon- a fact which never ceased to amaze Clint which in turn had Natasha smiling in amusement. Right on cue, the tell-tale chime of the coffee maker went off, provoking an immediate reaction from the billionaire. He sat upright at once, grabbing the finished pot and chugging without even bothering to acknowledge the cup Steve had pushed his way hopefully, the winces of others in the room, and the fact that the coffee was hot enough to give someone thirds degree burns. 

"Thank you, Captain. It was delicious," Loki said in his posh accent right on cue, the sentence getting a smirk from Tony. 

The genius hadn't been able to figure out if the ritual was a way to make Steve uncomfortable, test his boundaries, or mock them all but either way the pulsing vein on Steve's forehead and the way Clint literally clenched his fist never stopped being funny. He buried his smile in his coffee pot, finished off the last of it with a disappointed sigh. 

"Look, Loco, the Good Captain's blood pressure can't take your teasing," The billionaire said, effectively breaking the carefully coordinated dance they played every morning for the first time since the black-haired man started living in the tower. 

Bruce immediately high-tailed it out of the room, bringing his tea with him like he could sense the fight about to break out. If anybody in the room had been confused about what was about to happen the Hulk's swift exit would have alerted them. Suddenly everyone in the kitchen was on edge. The billionaire didn't think it would have become a fight if Bruce's extreme reaction hadn't prompted equally as serious reactions out of everyone else in the room but it was too late then. 

"Just giving my compliments to the chef," The God said, the start of a sarcastic smile curving the sides of his mouth. 

"I'm sure he's very appreciative," Tony promised, taking another sip of burning hot coffee in an effort to hide his own answering grin. 

"Look dude, we all know you're batshit but these word games need to stop-" Clint started, standing up like he was about to punch the poor guy. 

Any levity that had been in the room was swiftly ejected, the challenge leaving a very different tone on the playful teasing Tony had just been participating in. 

"Clint-" Natasha started disapprovingly, only to be stopped by Steve holding up a hand. 

"As team captain-" The man said, only to be stopped by Tony's derisive snort. 

"Look, Captain. I get that you are trying to do damage control but there is no reason that you guys should be treating Loki like a criminal. I get that you guys can't let things go- not that I'm not one to hold a grudge because I absolutely am- but the guy was brainwashed. If you want to get some perspective, treat Clint like you do Loki because the guy clearly deserves it," 

The words just started another fight. The Avengers had never been a family unit but the immediate objection showed just where the billionaire was on the totem pole. With that in mind he adjusted his behavior accordingly, deciding that if he didn't give a damn about what the home invaders thought of him anymore he would act how he wanted to and ignore the rest. 

"Reindeer Games, I want to learn about magic and your brother is useless. You up for some time with me in the lab?" 

It was as if the offer sucked the air out of the room. Everyone but Loki seemed shocked by the turn of events, effectively showing just how much they knew the billionaire and his thinking patterns. 

"I thought you would never ask," Loki purred, getting up and washing his plate with a flick of his wrist and a cloud of green before following Tony and his freshly made pot of coffee to the elevator. 

Tony knew that the words were as much out of curiosity as they were a way to get under the rest of the Avenger's skin but he didn't care so long as it got the man into his lab. 

Two crazy minds didn't make a sane one- it was a lesson they were about to learn very quickly.