Sarah was exhausted, but the best kind of exhausted - where you’ve had an amazing day running on a high of joy and then when all the people leave and the action stops your whole body slumps but you’ve still got a smile on your face.
“Goodnight, Miss Julie,” she said, as the last of her neighbors walked up the pier. Sarah went to grab a hose when she saw Sam and Bucky walking toward her.
“Sarah!” Sam called out joyfully when he saw her. “Hey Big Bro,” she replied, breaking into a huge smile.
“Hi Sarah,” said Bucky, eyes twinkling, dazzled by Sarah’s smile. “Hi Bucky,” she returned, widening her brilliant smile. Sarah’s arms were open as wide as her heart, held open for Sam to walk into her waiting hug.
She wrapped him up and said into his ear, deliberately and tenderly, “Sam, I am so proud of you. And not just for being Captain America. I’m proud of who you are for this community, our family, and the people you care about. Mama and daddy would be real proud of you.”
“Thank you, Sarah. Your saying that means a lot.” Sam looked over her shoulder at his friend and smiled, warmed by the love of his family. And dammit, Bucky was family too now.
“Bucky!” Sam shouted, using his hands in a gesture that meant come here and join the hug.
“Who me? What? “ Bucky replied, confused and uncomfortable.
“Come here, old man, and stop playing the fool. Like it or not, you’re family now and in this family we hug. So get your super soldier ass over here and join this Wilson Family group hug before I change my mind,” Sam groused, in the loving way that had become their love language.
Sarah did a quarter turn to open her and Sam’s hug to let Bucky in. He stepped forward tentatively at first, but Sarah and Sam each grabbed him by a shoulder and brought them all together.
Before today, Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a hug, much less a group hug. His heart swelled a little at how good it felt. It felt like the possibility of belonging somewhere, and gosh, even happiness. It felt like home.
“Alright you guys, this is starting to get weird,” Bucky said, breaking the spell they’d all been under.
As the three disengaged from their hug and their arms fell to their sides, Bucky and Sarah’s hands accidentally touched. It was like a lightning bolt went off inside her.
Sarah had never really wondered what the Wakandan hand felt like but now that she’d made contact, something was different. Bucky must have felt it too because he looked up and turned to her as they locked eyes for an instant before Sam interjected to suggest, “Hey, it’s pretty late. Why don’t we head up now and we’ll finish cleaning up in the morning?”
Peeling her eyes away from Bucky towards her brother, Sarah replied, “No Sam, it’s ok if you’re tired. It was your special day but I’m fine. I’d rather stay down here and clean things up tonight than wake up to do it in the morning.”
“Yeah, Sam. I’ll stay down too and help Sarah out,” Bucky added quickly. “At least I can maybe help lift heavy stuff and have Sarah boss me around.” His mouth quirked into a smile that’s far more relaxed than he felt.
Sam squints at Bucky then Sarah, who merely smiles and shrugs her shoulders. “There better not be any funny stuff going on down here after I leave.”
And if there is, I don’t want to know about it. This, he only thinks to himself and doesn’t dare say out loud as he walks up to the house, leaving Bucky and Sarah behind.
“So...where should we start?” Asks Bucky, ready to go.
“How about you…” and Sarah trailed off. It would be the first of a dozen requests Sarah made of Bucky over the next hour as they worked together to clean up the mess. They made a surprisingly good team. She’d say, “can you please do xyz?” and he’d respond, “sure thing” every time.
As the night wore on, something about the way he looked right at her when he said, “sure thing” made her realize that he wasn’t just being polite.
Sarah thought to herself, she could get used to this. To him.
She jerked her head to the side, motioning for Bucky to come over to her. She leaned over and pulled out a bucket of the sweetest most succulent shrimp that she’d saved for her personal midnight snack.
She started piling them on a plate to share. As she reached into the bucket to pull out a particularly fat one, she accidentally stabbed her finger on a spine and cried out sharply, “ow!” and shook her hand in pain.
Bucky instinctively picked up the offending shrimp, turned it to face him and growled with exaggerated gusto, “My name is Bucky Barnes, you hurt my Sarah, prepare to die!” He bit the head off with a flourish and spit it into the water.
Sarah threw her head back in a laugh so full she almost fell off her stool.
Bucky, smiling, reached out to catch her fall, pleased that he’d made Sarah laugh so hard. He hadn’t had this much fun with anyone since before the war. She smiled at him - a bright, luminous smile so warm and inviting that something inside him shattered.
It seemed a piece of his heart he’d kept reserved had freed itself all of a sudden.
Sarah’s brown cocoa skin glowed in the shimmer of moonlight off the water. “You look beautiful,” Bucky murmured, mostly to himself.
“What'd you just say?” Sarah asked, not believing her ears.
“I..I..I said, the bayou looks beautiful tonight,” he stammered, annoyed at himself for having been caught. He’d never been a particularly good liar.
“James Buchanan Barnes, I know you are not tryna play me after you spent all afternoon spittin’ game to me, playing with my kids, having them hang off you like a jungle gym, and generally being as charming as you dare.” Sarah glared at Bucky, playfully.
“Wait...how do you know my full name? And spitting game? I mean I think I know what you mean in context but…,” Bucky replied in rapid fire. “You think I’m charming?” His eyes sparkled as he asked her.
That little flirt, Sarah thought to herself. I thought Sam said he was shy.
“Why do I always pick the stupid ones?” Sarah stood up, closed the distance between them, looked him dead in the eyes and said,”I like you and I think you like me too and if you’d like to kiss me, now would be a good time.”
He was dumbstruck by her admission but not so dumb that he didn’t appreciate the opportunity before him. He bent his head down and slowly inched his face toward hers before eagerly closing the gap with his mouth on hers.
Sarah gasped and let out a whimper of bliss that made his knees buckle.
He cradled her face in his hands before suddenly pulling his metal hand away, afraid she would find it unwelcome.
Sarah sensed his hesitancy and caught his left hand in hers as he lowered it. She threaded her fingers through his and placed their entwined hands on the small of her back.
Emboldened, Bucky deepened the kiss and pulled Sarah’s hips toward him as he pressed his full body to hers. After engaging the kiss until she nearly ran out of breath, Sarah pulled away, exposing her neck to him.
“Sarahhh” he hummed against her neck. It was all he could coherently muster as he left a trail of wet kisses from her ear lobe to her clavicle.
“Bucky,” she moaned, in a voice that nearly drove him over the edge. “Is this a good idea? You’re far too fine to resist but what if this goes south, It’d be a mess.”
He pulled back and looked at her. He didn’t deserve her. That much he knew for sure. But that he dared to want her, he knew was true in equal measure.
“Sarah,” he said, “I know I don’t deserve you, Sarah, but if you let me, I’ll do whatever it takes to be worthy of you.”
“Bucky...what are you saying?” Sarah pleaded, her eyes misty with emotion. She thought to herself that she must still be high on the vibes from the party today because she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, or crazier still, what she was feeling.
“I...I’m not really a talker and most of my feelings for the last 50 years haven’t even been my own. You’d probably be afraid of me if you really knew what I’d done and who I am. But I’m not afraid. I haven’t felt like this in ages and it’s because of you, Sarah.” He said, as earnestly as he had anything before in his life. He averted his eyes a bit to hide his vulnerability, but they flickered open and rested on Sarah- expectant and nervous but calm.
“What did those Wakandans put in that vibranium arm of yours?” Sarah said incredulously. “I’ve known you for like two weeks and you’ve already got my head swimming.”
“You’re outchea dropping lyrics on me like you’re some kind of Disney prince.” She sighed, defeated by his charm. “I’ve got two kids, and they’re my everything. I just got my brother back. And you two work together. I can’t be dating my brother’s co-worker. That’s a mess waiting to happen.”
“We’re partners, actually, not so much co-workers,” he corrected, unhelpfully.
He bit his lip and added, a bit more to the point, “Look, I get it. I came on too strong. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you….I just thought...” His voice trails off, his eyes are cast down. He understands her logic but it doesn’t change how he feels.
It broke her heart to say it but what came out was, “ok, let’s just pretend that kiss never happened and we were just a little high on life and Sam becoming Captain America and lots of hurricane punch.” Sensing her own lie, she continued, “let’s maybe just be friends for now. ok?”
“Friends. Ok. Sure, Sarah. We’ll say it was the booze,” He replies wistfully. He doesn’t tell her that he can’t physically get drunk but no matter. She doesn’t believe his lies any more than he does hers.
She smiles awkwardly at him and then says with way more enthusiasm than called for in the moment, “Hey, let’s finish up this last bit and then head home.”
“Sure thing,” he says, nodding his head.
They spend the next few minutes in silence stealing glances and smiling when they pass each other. After a couple minutes it’s not actually awkward anymore and they fall back into the comfortable groove of being a great team.
“Hey! Looks like we’re done. Shall we head back up to the house?” Sarah says, breaking the silence.
“Oh no, thanks, I got a room in town. I didn’t want to impose on you guys again.” Bucky replied.
“Wow! So, it’s like that, huh?” Sarah says, incredulous, and genuinely kinda hurt
“What?,” Bucky pleaded. “I can never get these things right. I’m an old man from a different world and I haven’t been around nice people for so long I forget how to act sometimes.”
“All the more reason you need to hang out with us Wilsons more so we can train you up.” Sarah’s smile was a mile wide and as inviting as could be. “Plus,” she added coyly, “I might make the best pancakes in St. Bernard Parish, so…”
How could he resist? “Ok, you got me. I really do have a soft spot for homemade pancakes.” He adds, sentimentally. “They remind me of home.” Just saying that conjures up images of Saturday breakfasts with his family - his mom and dad, his sisters, and Steve who was like a brother and an unofficial member of the Barnes household. He would never stop loving that guy. To the end of the line. Even to the end of time.
Sarah nudged his right shoulder and broke him out of his reverie. He offered a wan smile and his arm in return.
They headed up the pier walking arm in arm exchanging easy banter. Bucky teased her about he’d first met Sam and Sarah playfully punched him in the shoulder.
“You tried to kill my brother!” She exclaimed with feigned horror.
He’d regaled her with the full story earlier when he was showing off and playing strong man with his metal arm. She was a little scared of what he’d described but knowing that Sam obviously survived and Bucky was Bucky now and not The Winter Soldier now made it easier to hear.
When they arrived at the door, Bucky stopped and turned to Sarah and said, “Thank you. Thank you for the best day I’ve had in...since I can’t remember when.” He continued. “You and Sam, your family -you mean the world to me. I know it’s only been a couple weeks but your friendship is important to me so if that’s all this ever is, I’d consider myself a lucky man. Buuut,” he said, dragging out the word and lightening the mood, “Sam did say I was family earlier...sooo I don’t think I’m being too out of line in making a special request for chocolate chip pancakes in the morning.”
Sarah smiled, charmed by his request, and replied, “You know what, Bucky Barnes, you really might be an honorary Wilson after all. Chocolate chip pancakes are the boys’ favorites, so consider your request accepted.”
His eyes beamed with gratitude and affection. He followed her inside and helped her silently as she prepared the couch for his stay.
Sarah waved goodnight and turned to go upstairs, and softly said, “Goodnight Bucky. I had a great day too. See you in the morning.”
“How about I get up early and help you make breakfast?” Bucky offered. It was an excuse to be near her, and “I’m actually pretty good with a knife,” he added.
“That sounds great,” she replied with a smile. “Sweet dreams.”
Sarah didn’t know how hard those were to come by for Bucky. But hearing her wish that for him made him feel genuinely hopeful for the first time in a long long time. The last time he was here, he’d woken up smiling to the sounds of Cass and AJ playing with the shield. After today, with Sarah, Sam, the boys, and the whole Delacroix community he felt just bold enough to believe that, here, at the end of the world, he might just be able to find what he’s been missing
- peace.