The Bucket List
Feather light fingers trace over the silhouetted features of Lexa’s face, Clarke ever so careful not to wake her. The delicate pads of her steady digits graze over the last remnants of discoloration on the sleeping woman’s cheek. Clarke’s eyes then dart over to another yellow-green bruise on Lexa’s exposed clavicle. There are others, equally faded, and a few mostly healed abrasions too. They litter Lexa’s body after the car accident that threatened their future together. Clarke curses the drunk driver who walked away without a scratch, while Lexa had to be pried from the wreckage with the literal jaws of life. She stares down at the woman she loves and the tears begin to fall without mercy. Clarke decides in that very moment that every second with her love should be treated just as precious as the next, no moment to be taken for granted.
On the side of the refrigerator, secured by a souvenir magnet from Disney World, is the take-out menu from Jade Dragon, their favorite Chinese restaurant in Arkadia. They’ve kept it all these years, even after moving to Polis two summers ago, because of what’s written on the back; their bucket list. It all started several years ago when Lexa used the menu as scratch paper to write down potential dream vacation spots, and now, after each of them have added a handful of destinations and experiences, it hangs proudly next to the grocery list and Ranya’s save the date card.
Responsibilities and routine have thus far prevented them from taking the list seriously, but after Lexa’s near death experience, Clarke initiates a plan. While Lexa sleeps in on the last day of her medical leave, Clarke sets her plan in motion. She begins researching flights and accommodations, prioritizing experiences based on season and accessibility. By the time a well rested Lexa wakes and wanders into the kitchen a couple of hours later, complete with mussed hair and a missing sock, Clarke is ready to pitch her ideas.
“Metallurgy is actually looking like it could be one of the first experiences we can cross of the list.” Clarke turns her laptop around to show Lexa the black smithing class information page that the community college offers monthly. “The next class is this coming Saturday, and I think banging the shit out of hot metal sounds like an awesome way to burn off the stress of the work week!” Clarke watches, eyes hopeful, as Lexa thumbs through print outs and hand written sample itineraries. Lexa smiles more with every passing second, “This is amazing, babe! But I’ve gotta ask, why now?” Clarke comes around the kitchen table and carefully cups Lexa’s cheeks in her hands, leaning in to capture her lips. She doesn’t pull away after the kiss, but rather rests her forehead against Lexa’s. “I don’t want to wait until the timing is just right and all the stars align to do the things we dream about. Right now is perfect.”
Yellow-gold sunrises over the beaches in the Maldives and burnt orange sunsets over the outer cape in Provincetown become cherished memories for both Clarke and Lexa. They cross off a bucket list item as often as they can, making things like learning to surf and competing in a hot dog eating contest seem almost mundane. Sky diving had taken Clarke a while to warm up to, but the photo of them taken mid free fall is now affixed to the refrigerator with a souvenir magnet from Banff right next to the Jade Dragon menu. Speaking of which, the bucket list isn’t any shorter now, even after nearly two years of crossing things off. They add to it just as quickly as they subtract.
“Mom.” It’s the most recent word added to the list. Clarke spies it out of the corner of her eye as they share a meal at the very same kitchen table where their bucket list journey started. She contemplates how to bring it up, feeling a need for clarification on what exactly that word means to Lexa. She braves the question after an especially vigorous night of love making. Lexa lay on her chest, her breaths finally evening out, and Clarke lovingly strokes her silken tresses. “Lex?” Lexa hums out a response, but does not open her eyes. “I saw you added a new item to the list.” Lexa cracks one eye open. Clarke doesn’t falter, her hand steadily calming Lexa, but she pushes forward. “Baby, do you want a baby?” Lexa opens both eyes and looks up into Clarke’s, a hesitant smile gracing the gorgeous features of her face. Clarke can’t help the way her heart swells in that moment, instantly making room to love another; their future child.
Ultrasound photos and baby shower announcements are added to the magnetized mural on the side of their fridge. Their modest house feels almost too small in the wake of the numerous boxes of diapers and wipes and tiny baby accessories. Friends and family have lavished them with everything a tiny human could possibly need, their generosity filling the couple’s hearts and home. Clarke looks around their cluttered living room, her eyes ultimately settling on the vision of her glowing wife, and she smiles. Clarke walks over to the fridge and pulls down the menu, borrows the pen from Lexa’s hand (the one she’s been using to fill out thank you cards) and scratches a line through the word “Mom” on the bucket list.
She is born on a Tuesday and he is born on a Wednesday, despite coming into this world only five minutes apart. Madison Abigail Griffin-Woods weighs 6 pounds 3 ounces and is 19 inches long. Aden Jacob Griffin-Woods, the little nugget that he is, weighs only 4 pounds 8 ounces and is 18 inches long. But he’s louder and demands more from his mothers. Madi is content with boobs and snuggles; she takes after Lexa. The little family of four cuddles close in bed, Clarke and Lexa each with a baby on their chest.
Even though Clarke and Lexa can’t cross things off of their bucket list as frequently these days, they still add to it. However, things like bungee jumping and swimming with sharks aren’t quite prioritized the same anymore. Instead, the top contenders are “build a snowman with the kids” and “Disney World.” The last time they went to Arkadia to visit Clarke’s parents, the family dined at Jade Dragon and brought back a new menu so that there is room to add to the list and make more memories. There’s not a day that goes by that Clarke doesn’t see that list and thank her lucky stars for all the precious memories and perfect “right nows” they’ve experienced. It all comes full circle when one of the twins, Madi, adds “Looz Toof” to the family bucket list, in barely legible five year old scrawl. Clarke and Lexa couldn’t be prouder.