as they stood there, on a different planet...it hit them. his words. the ones that were now creeping up on them.
“a soul for a soul.”
she lifted her head and looked at him, she looked at his face..she knew him , knew what he was thinking.
“no tony, you don’t get to risk your life for the world today, not when you won’t come back this time!”
“oh and you do? natasha you have lost your mind if you think i am letting you, my....” their labels for each other...were practically nonexistent, they loved each other. though neither of them ever spoke it into earth they knew all that much, and nothing else mattered.
the days and night they spent together looking after their daughter...tony’s daughter, natasha had to remind herself sometimes that biologically, morgan wasn’t hers. but in every other aspect, that little girl represented the last few years of natasha...the happiness she had felt with the both of them.
“i’m your what? girlfriend? partner? if that’s what you’re going to say, save it....it doesn’t matter what i am to you tony you...you of all people are not dying today.”
“i’m not letting you go nat, not today, not any day....please.” his eyes pleaded, his lips said what any girl would want to hear, any girl that wasn’t her. she didn’t want him to risk everything for her today, today was not a day where tony stark got to risk his life for her.
she took her hand, placing it on his cheek, her eyes filled with water....she didn’t know what she wanted to say yet, but actions spoke louder than words right?
“i love you.” she said it, voice cracking holding back steams of tears. the years of secrets shared, memories created, the little girl they raised together, she finally said those three word to him.
“i’m in love with you.” she corrected herself, giving him a half-smile realizing this wasn’t the most ideal time to admit it, but then again this would be their last time together. they both knew that. no miracle could come save them this time.
“don’t.” he tried ignoring her eyes, her green emerald eyes that filled with pain, as they stood on unknown land. he leaned in kissing her forehead lightly, in the process wrapping himself around her “i’m in love with you too. i always have been.” he whispered into her ear.
holding onto her as she finally let herself cry, rubbing her back, trying to calm her like he did during their rough nights. the sleepless nights, filled with nightmares of their past that had haunted them both to this day.
after some time, he knew he had to let her go, he knew they had to come to an agreement. they both untangled themselves from each other, looking into each other’s eyes all puffy and red.
“morgan...she likes she likes sandwiches with no crust, and she also likes it when i put little post-it’s with jokes in her lunchbox, she likes when i surprise her with burgers after pre-school, and she likes when i read her more than-.”
“natasha don’t.” he had to stop her, it hurt hearing more than expected...he knew all this, but hearing it come from her, it felt like torture.
“morgan needs you tony. look i know i am just as much as a mother figure to morgan as pepper could’ve been if she hadn’t died...you don’t have to tell me that if that’s what you were going to say next. but you are her father tony, she loves you so much...and i cannot be the one to tell her that her dad is dead. i cannot look at that little girl who is a miniature you, and tell her that her daddy is gone.”
“and you expect me to tell her that her mom died. that her only mother figure is gone, what do you think she’ll think nat?”
“tony....”
“i know. i’m sorry i just, i don’t want to lose you. i can’t nat. please let me do this, just once let me save you-“
suddenly fires shot and a swarm of unknown machines came towards them, they ran as fast as they could trying to block the fires, and dodge getting shot.
in this time natasha leaned over the edge, as tony blocked the machines away...looking down, she was terrified. she turned her head to face tony he looked at her...mortified, he knew what she was about to do, and he knew he couldn’t stop her.
“i love you.” is what she said before practically throwing herself off, he watched, tears filled his eyes. he yelled out her name in sobs.
“i love you too.” he said, a little too late.
returning back was the worst part, telling their friends...their second family she was gone. they didn’t know what they were, all they knew is that morgan looked up to her...more than anybody else. so they didn’t know the pain he felt was deeper than they could ever think of, except for the obvious rhodey and clint.
“we can bring her back” clint said
“don’t bullshit me barton. i lost the love of my life, i have to tell the only person keeping me alive that her mom is dead, again. do you know what it’s like trying to explain to a kid that her mom died after giving birth? that she’ll never get to see her. now i have to tell her that her mommy is gone, and she won’t teach her ballet anymore, or teach her how to read.”
clint simply nodded, walking away giving tony the space he needed. failing to realize the others had heard him. he turned around looking at their faces, not knowing what to say, because what was there to say? so he did what he need to do, he walked away.
the drive home was nerve wrecking, knowing he’d have to see her little girl upset, the thought of it pained his chest. as he opened the door, there he saw rhodey reading morgan a book “i want to be a ballerina”. he sighed morgan always looked up to natasha, she wanted to be just like her when she grew up. natasha was always available to teach her ballet, it was tony’s favorite view, his girls.
“hey sweetie”
“wheres mommy?” the innocence of such a simple question.
tony bent down, and took morgan away from rhodey, he sat her on his lap. clearing his throat, he took a deep breath, looking into her eyes...holding it in as much as he could.
“well...you know how mommy and i we save the world, we help people.”
“yeah you guys make the world a better place!” she said with pride
“sweetie, mommy and i...we went on a mission and, she didn’t make it.” he paused, feeling the need to recollect himself.
“you know she loved you, you were her world. she wants you to know that ok.”
tears formed in the child’s eye, she looked as if her heart had just shattered. she looked at him for a while, no words spoken.
until...”she isn’t coming back?” she asked trying her best to wipe her tears and hold some brave face, she knew she couldn’t do.
“no sweetie she isn’t, i’m so sorry” tony held his daughter as she mourned her mother.
silence once again overtook until the little girl asked “daddy why do all my mommy’s leave me?” tony heard those words and his heart broke for his little girl, she had lost enough in life.
“sweetie, they didn’t leave you ok. they loved you both so much, so much more than you could ever imagine. they’re both looking down on you, protecting you. you’re special you have not one, but two guardian angels” he said holding out 2 fingers, trying to cheer her up.
“who’s gonna teach me ballet?”
“we can sign you up to a proper dance studio. it won’t be the same but you’ll learn ok?”
she simply nodded and tilted her head onto his chest, falling into a deep sleep as she had a long day, and as did he.
they didn’t have her body, but in their hearts she was there. she would always be there.
after that day, morgan kept the hourglass necklace around her neck, or at least close to her always, it made her feel as if she was always with her.
tony grieved for her more than anyone, he slept on the couch for months before going back into their bedroom, tearing the sheets off with a feeling of rage.
“why! why! why!” he yelled at the top of his lungs he looked around , everything reminded him of her. years, and years of secret exchanges and slow dances alone. gone, in a flash.