Books (lokixreader)
The rage inside of my chest simmers and compacts in on itself at the figure standing before me. Loki's shoulders shift up and down in his staggered breath from the continuous screaming we have been exchanging for the past ten minutes over seemingly useless topics. I had entered with three novels for him and in return was gifted with insults.
"I am a god! I could kill you if I wished!" The sneer of his voice leaves a clenched jaw as his head shakes with his words.
"So could a determined fish and a falling tree! Simply because you can send lights out of your fingertips means nothing." I dismiss his favorite warning and poke at his source of being. "If you had any personality besides being an ass, then maybe the others wouldn't hate your presence!"
"Well, my dear, that must mean they absolutely abhor you." From his place in front of the window, he starts a pace towards me as he continues his low growl. "They keep me here in this room until I'm of use, yet send you into the lion's den for babysitting."
I cock my head to the side as the words escape his mouth. He thinks the others force me here every visit I make to him. He assumes I'm here out of duty and not desire, so I tell him just that.
"You think they send me here?" My voice is now calm and at a normal volume, "You think that each afternoon they force me to bring you lunch? That every couple of days Steve picks out a stack of books for me to deliver to you?" I light a match of sarcasm off of Steve's name leading to my conclusion. "Loki, they all hate that I make an attempt to see you as anything other than a monster you try so desperately to be." My face tightens itself as my chin tilts towards him, emphasizing my words.
Loki stops his stride at the mention of the books I deliver a few times a week, knowing he's unable to travel to the library from his bedroom that Tony has deemed his cave. I watch the tension from his shoulders release as they fall from their heightened anger to their normal posture. His eyes leave mine and trace the room around us from the floor we stand on to the desk of books and tray I enter with everyday at one.
I allow the rest of my clenched muscles to relax and drop my eyes to the floor as I shake my head with a sigh. "I'm sorry I ever tried." I wave my hand over him as I start my retreat from his room, turning my back to him in my words. "They were right, you're a monster." My own heart cracks at the words that need to be said.
Before I can reach the door I'm stopped by hands on my upper arms as I see the green magic wave over a pair of feet in front of mine. When I raise my head up to meet Loki's, I see his eyes are now soft; the muscles in his face turned down in an emotion I previously thought impossible for the creature displayed in front of me. Before I'm allowed any time to respond, the same hands which stopped my exit are now being wrapped around me and I'm pulled into a cold chest.
"Thank you." I barely hear the recognition escape his lips as the side of his face push against my hair. I allow my arms to wrap around Loki's back and rub small tracks up and down. I feel his frame relax more and we stay like that for a moment as I comfort the pain I'd been seeing for months behind the walls of his exterior.
I feel his arms loosen and I do the same, stepping back to strain my neck less as I make eye contact. His hand lingers on my arm and draws up to my cheek, cupping it so lightly it's barely touching. My eyes trace from his arm up to his eyes where I notice a near look of asking for permission. I gently place my own hand over his, pulling his palm to my cheek and letting my eyes close at the feeling in an exhale. I feel his frame lean towards me soon followed by his forehead on mine. My eyes open again to look up at him, a curtain of his black hair curling around his cheek bones from the height difference.
"Did you really think I only came as a chore?" my voice breaks the silence we stand in, needing to know how he ever thought I wasn't here for him.
His eyes flutter slightly before responding, "I at one point hoped, but convinced myself it was a derisory desire I was attempting to fill with your presence and made myself ignore it." his thumb laid a small path back and forth on my cheek bone. "I've been so cold." His eyes screw shut as he begins to retract his touch from me in shame.
I grip his physically chill hand and return it to its place on my face, "Then let me warm you." The quiet motion escapes me in a fear of him returning to a place of hate. His eyes open to meet mine, first in fear then in an ache. He closes the space between us with a step and a soft, hesitant kiss to my forehead. As he pulls his face from mine I reach up on the tips of my toes to place a similar one to his chin.
A light appears behind his usually stoic eyes and he turns to retrieve the top book from tonight's stack. "Would you like me to read to you?"
"I would love nothing more." We settle into the loveseat across from the window that overlooks the city as Loki opens his arms and book. I settle into his side and close my eyes as he invites me into the world I've brought him with a silky, calming tone.