Party Crashers
Tony walks through his lab with an icepack on his head.
“Yeah that’s all you need.” Strange said. “Almost died, but all you need really is a nice ice pack.”
“The suit is basically armour, Merlin.” Tony explained. “It actually behaved like armour and protected me.”
He passes the package Pepper left hours ago, grabbing the coffee cup from on top of it.
“That’s got to be cold now right.” Mantis said.
“Cold coffee? That’s disgusting.” Nebula said.
“Hey, cold coffee’s the best.” Tony defended.
“And it’s really not about the taste.” Shuri agreed. “It’s mostly the caffeine that we need.”
“Please tell me you don’t drink that stuff too.” T’Challa asked.
She shrugged. “Distractions happen. Make hot coffee one moment, and BOOM time flies and it’s cold in the next. Who wants to waste good caffeine anyway.”
He begins to walk away, before turning back and noticing the package.
On top of it is a sticky not that reads: From Pepper
“You got him a present?” Clint asked.
Pepper hummed in confirmation. “You’ll see.”
Tony takes it off and tosses it aside, before opening up the package.
It is a glass box with Tony’s first arc reactor inside. Around it is a metal ring with writing engraved on it. It reads: PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART
Tony smiled at the memory. That gift had saved his life.
“I don’t know whether that’s sweet or insulting.” Sam said.
“That’s just like Pepper.” Rhodey said. “Burning you to a crisp with a touch of sweetness on the side.”
“I don’t get it.” Drax said.
“She’s making the point that my heart is cold, like a machine’s.” Tony said, but at Drax’s continued frown of confusion, Tony continued. “As if I’m heartless.” Drax’s frown deepened. “Like I’m an emotionless bastard.”
“Oh.” Drax realised. “But the fact that you need the machine to function means that you in fact do have a heart that needs protecting.”
“Exactly.” Tony smiled. “It’s a statement with two meanings. The first is comparative and the second is literal.”
“With a third meaning.” Pepper smirked. “In that, the existence of his true heart means that he really does care, just deep down.”
“I think I understand now.” Drax nodded seriously. “You are using your false statements to convey a true statement without outright saying what you mean.”
Quill smiled, patting him proudly on the shoulder. “Wow, I’m proud of you man.”
Rocket wiped a fake tear from his eye. “He’s finally getting it.”
Tony stares at it, a fond smile peaking on his lips.
Back in Afghanistan, the members of the Ten Rings have gathered the pieces of the Mark I armour together. Raza watches over, as they attempt to assemble it, hatred burning in his eyes.
As the image fades, the helmet morphs into the projected image of the Mark III Iron Man helmet in Tony’s lab.
“Cool transition.” Peter noted.
“Notes. Main transducer feels sluggish at plus 40 altitude.” Tony is discussing with Jarvis, an ice pack taped to his left bicep. “Hull pressurisation is problematic and I’m thinking icing is the probable factor.”
“No? Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Shuri exclaimed.
“Yeah, no shit.” Gamora agreed.
“A very astute observation, sir.” Says Jarvis in all his sarcastic glory. “Perhaps, if you intend to visit other planets, we should improve the ecosystems.”
“Why isn’t Vision this sarcastic.” Sam chuckled. “I love Jarvis’ personality.”
“I find that sarcasm is often used as a defence mechanism in the form of humour to hide your true feelings and emotions.” Vision explained. “If you would like, I can diminish the value of my statements by resorting to Mr Stark’s style of humour if it would make my character more amusing for you.”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “Well, that was the most sarcastic criticism of sarcasm I’ve ever heard.”
Vision smirked. “I am my own person, Mr Wilson. I may not have the same traits as Jarvis, but I can be just humorous if I wanted to.”
“Connect to the sys. co. Have it reconfigure the shell metals. Use the gold titanium alloy from the seraphim tactical satellite. That should ensure a fuselage integrity while maintaining power-to-weit ratio. Got it?”
“So it’s not actually made of iron?” Thor asked.
Loki narrowed his eyes at him. “Did you really think that suit is made of iron?”
“Well it’s in the name, right?”
“And that means that iron is suddenly not incredibly heavy, dense, soft, and in all senses, impractical.”
“Then why is it in the name?”
“Well the name was more of a public creation to refer to this new mysterious hero.” Phil said. “I guess Tony quite liked it.”
“Being honest, the Mark I suit was made out of iron.” Tony said. “I suppose it’s more of an homage to that, if anything.”
He takes a sip of his green smoothy.
“Yes. Shall I render using proposed specifications?”
“Thrill me.”
As Jarvis renders the image, the sound of the TV catches Tony’s attention.
“Tonight’s red-hot red carpet is right here at the Disney Concert Hall, where Tony Stark’s third annual benefit for the Firefighter’s Family Fund has become the place to be for LA’s high society…”
Tony tilts his head in suspicion. “Jarvis, we get an invite for that?”
“I have no record of an invitation, sir.”
“What is this? You’re not getting invited to your own benefits now?” Peter asked.
“I think it’s telling that Tony isn’t involved enough to even know about his own benefits.” Clint muttered.
“Hey now, that’s a little unfair.” Pepper defended. “He’s had a lot on his mind. It’s understandable that he might forget about one event after all he’s been through.”
The reporter continues as Tony messes around with his Mark II mask, lifting it to his face. It’s now covered in small notes and calculations.
“…hasn’t been seen in public since his bizarre and highly controversial press conference. Some claim he’s suffering from post-traumatic stress and has been bedridden for weeks…”
Tony lowers the mask and stares at the screen incredulously.
“…Whatever the case may be, no one expects an appearance from him tonight.”
Tony smirks at the screen, a bright idea forming.
“Yeah right.” Sam rolled his eyes. “That’s almost begging him to come and crash the party.”
“Of course that’s what get’s you involved in what’s happening around you.” Steve muttered.
Tony pretended to ignore him and simply smiled at Sam’s comment.
“The render is complete.” Jarvis notifies him, showing the image of a now completely golden suit.
“A little ostentatious, don’t you think?” Tony comments.
“What was I thinking? You’re usually so discreet."
A few chuckled at that.
“That does look absolutely hideous.” Natasha smirked.
“What are you talking about?” Thor said. “I think it looks great.”
Tony goes to grab more smoothy, but then notices the antique car he’d been working on. “Tell you what. Throw a little hot-rod red in there.”
“Yes, that should help you keep a low profile.”
“Somehow, I doubt that’s what he was going for.” Strange said.
“I should really look into a stealth suit.” Tony said, looking back at Shuri. “Fancy helping me out with that, Princess?”
Shuri pondered this. “Hmm. I’m sure I could find a gap in my schedule somewhere.”
Tony smirks.
“The render is complete.”
The screen now shows Tony’s iconic Iron Man look with the red and gold.
“Oooh, looking awesome!” Peter squealed.
“Hey, I like it.” He says. “Fabricate it. Paint it.”
“Commencing automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.”
Tony checks his watch: 21:37
“Don’t wait up for me, honey.”
“You’re crashing the party aren’t you.” Steve sighed.
“Don’t you know it, honey.” Tony smirked.
Steve scowled.
Tony races down the highway in his awesome car with an exposed engine.
“Speeding? Really?” Steve asked exasperated.
“It’s true. Speeding is extremely dangerous.” Strange agreed.
“I know that.” Tony said. “I was still a bit of an arrogant prat, but needed to make an entrance okay.”
He pulls up, his numberplate reading: STARK 4.
As Tony walks up to the entrance, Obadiah is there speaking to the press. “Weapons manufacturing is only one small part of what Stark Industries is all about, and our partnership with the fire and rescue community…”
People start screaming and exclaiming as Tony approaches in his tuxedo, cameras flash.
“Wow, you just absorb that attention, don’t you.” Hope said.
“Hey, Tony, remember me?” A beautiful blond asks him on his way up.
“Sure don’t.” Tony does give her a glance.
Steve opened his mouth to say something.
“Don’t bother.” Tony interrupted. “We’ve already discussed my shallow ways in great detail and I’ve already learnt my lesson, okay?”
Steve clenched his jaw, but accepted that Tony was probably right.
“You look great, Hef.” Tony pats the shoulder of an old guy in a red suit. He turns, smoking a pipe, but Tony has a already moved on.
Fury narrowed his eyes at the old guy. He looked strangely familiar.
“… We’re going to have a great quarter.” Obadiah continues.
Tony interrupts. “What’s the world coming to when a guy’s got to crash his own party?”
Obadiah steps back, a nervous laugh escaping. “Look at you. Hey, what a surprise.”
“I’ll see you inside.” Tony pushes past.
“Hey. Listen, take it slow, all right.” Obadiah warns. “I think I got the board right where we want them.”
Rhodey scowled. “Right where he wants them. Ready to kick you out.”
“You got it.” Tony nods. “Just cabin fever. I’ll just be a minute.”
Inside melodic music plays. The hall is full of people lavishly dressed. Tony walks up to the bar, where a Coulson awaits.
“Give me a Scotch. I’m starving.” Tony says to the bar man.
Pepper rolled her eyes. “Only you would drink when you’re hungry.”
Tony winced but smiled at her jovial expression.
“Mr Stark?” Coulson gets his attention.
“Hey, it’s Phil!” Thor exclaimed.
“Yeah?”
“Agent Coulson.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy from the…” Tony trails off.
“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”
Tony whistles. “God, you need a new name for that.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t figure out it was SHIELD.” Natasha said. “I mean, they really weren’t being subtle.”
“Oh, I knew.” Tony said. “I just didn’t much care for the organisation after Dad died.”
“Yeah, I hear that a lot. Listen, I know this must be a trying time for you, but we need to debrief you. There’s still a lot of unanswered questions, and time can be a factor with these things.”
Something catches Tony’s attention in the hall. Pepper stands elegantly in her midnight blue backless dress. Her striking red hair curled and hanging loosely round her shoulders, as she mingles with the guests.
“She looks so beautiful.” Mantis said, eyes wide with wonder.
Pepper blushed. “Thank you.”
Coulson doesn’t notice Tony’s distraction and continues. “Let’s just put something on the books. How about the 24th at 7:00 p.m. at Stark Industries?”
“Tell you what.” Tony says, holding his hand out, not taking his eyes off Pepper. “You got it. You’re absolutely right.”
They shake. “We’ll I’m going to go to my assistant, and we’ll make a date.” He says distractedly.
Everyone rolled their eyes at Tony being hilariously distracted by Pepper.
“You look fantastic!” Tony exclaims, approaching her. “I didn’t recognise you.”
Pepper turns, surprise clear on her face. “What are you doing here?”
“So you knew, but didn’t tell him?” Natasha asked.
“Well, it was my job to go to these events.” Pepper said. “It was in Tony’s calendar, I assumed he wouldn’t want to go as he was busy staying out of the light.”
“Just avoiding government agents.” Tony says dryly.
Coulson sighed.
“Are you by yourself?”
“Yes. Where’d you get that dress?”
“Oh, it was a birthday present.”
“That’s great.”
“From you, actually.”
“Well, I got great taste.”
“Smooth.” Quill smirked and nodded.
“Taking notes?” Gamora asked him dryly.
“You want to dance?”
Pepper immediately declines. “Oh, no.”
“All right, come on.” Tony starts to lead her to the dance floor.
“Thank you. No.” Pepper insists.
Tony, however, isn’t dissuaded and continues to lead her. Pepper awkwardly follows after, sending a nervous smile over her shoulder.
“Come on, Tony. She said she didn’t want to dance.” Steve scolded.
Tony cringed. “Yeah. I know. Sorry about that Pepper.”
“God, let’s just forget that this ever happened.” Pepper said, embarrassed, but laughing at the memory of that awkward dance.
They start to dance. Pepper lets out a nervous breath and bites her lip.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?” Tony asks.
“No. No. I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in front of everyone that I work with in a dress with no back.” She gets out, clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable.
“You look great and you smell great.” Tony assures her.
Pepper lowers her head in shame. “Oh, God.”
“But I could fire you if that would take the edge off.”
“Ugh, Tony!” Steve sighed.
“I actually don’t think that you could tie your shoes without me.”
“I’d make it a week.”
“You couldn’t make it a day!” Natasha teased.
Tony opened his mouth to argue, then reconsidered. “Agreed.” He sighed.
“Really? What’s your Social Security number?”
Tony hesitates for a good number of seconds. “Five.” He settles on.
“You don’t know your social security number?” Bruce asked.
“Lets be honest, who does?” Tony said.
“I do.” Bruce muttered.
“Five?” Pepper smirks. “Right. You’re missing just a couple of digits there.”
“The other eight? So I got you for the other eight.”
Tony smiles as he glances at Pepper who is actively trying to avoid looking back at him, suppressing a smile of her own.
Pepper laughs and they continue dancing. They laps into awkward silence as they share I contact.
Both Tony and Pepper looked down, blushing uncontrollably. Others smiled uncontrollably at the sweetness and awkwardness of the scene and the couple’s otherworldly chemistry.
“Why does this need to be in the film.” Pepper complained.
“I suppose it’s to remind you of how you fell in love.” Vision supposed.
Pepper gave him a look. “Really?”
“Only a suggestion. The voice said that these were to mend our past and broken relationships.”
Pepper huffed, but didn’t say anything to argue with that.
Tony breaks first. “How about a little air?”
“Yes, I need some air.” Pepper agrees immediately.
They leave the dance floor. Coulson can be seen watching, clearly unimpressed.
“What? The sexual tension not entertaining enough for you?” Fury asked him.
“Not really, it was mostly annoying watching them dance around in circles. I just really wanted that debriefing.” Coulson said.
“That was totally weird.” Pepper says, standing next to Tony on the roof.
“Totally harmless.” Tony dismisses.
“It was totally not harmless, by the way.” Pepper insists. “Everybody who I work with…”
“We’re dancing. No one’s even watching.”
“No, you know why?”
“I think you lost objectivity. I think they just… People… We just danced.”
“You’re not even listening to her.” Hope said. “You need to come out of your bubble and see things from her perspective.”
“Agreed.” Natasha said. “To everyone else it would look like Pepper was trying to sleep with you in order to get promoted to the top.”
“That was not the case at all.” Tony defended.
“Yes, but not everyone would have known that.” Pepper said.
“No, it was not just a dance!” Pepper exclaims. “You don’t understand because you’re you. And everybody knows exactly who you are and how you are with girls and all of that, which is completely fine. But, you know, then me, you’re my boss, and I’m dancing with you…”
“I really don’t think it was taken that way.”
“…Because it makes me look like the one who’s trying to…”
“I just think you’re overstating it.”
“…You know, and we’re here, and then I’m wearing this ridiculous dress, and then we were dancing like that and…”
“Aw, Pep, you looked amazing that night.” Tony tried to comfort her. “And I’m really sorry I made you so uncomfortable and for not listening to you when you tried to explain.”
Pepper just narrowed her eyes. “And for leaving me there by myself?”
Tony bit his lip and smiled.
Pepper blushed and rolled her eyes. “Trust me, I’m so totally over it.”
Pepper’s rambling slows and come to a pause.
They stare at each other for a moment, the tension rising. Then, slowly, they hesitantly lean in, seemingly about to kiss.
Pepper and Tony glance at each other, their hearts racing as they remember the moment, before they quickly look away. This was all too much for right now.
Pepper suddenly opens her eyes and stops, her mouth hanging slightly open.
“I would like a drink, please.”
Tony immediately catches on and begins to move away. “Got it, okay.”
“Good call, man.” Sam said.
Pepper turns. “I would like a vodka martini, please. Very dry with olives, a lot of olives. Like, at least three olives.”
They all chuckled at that.
“I never did get that drink.” Pepper mused.
“I think I noticed a bar out in the the lobby.” Tony said. “Once this film ends, I’ll get you whatever you want.”
“I’m holding you to that.” She smiled.