You had hoped to get the chance to hide it from his eyes. You didn’t want him to worry. You were fine after all. You would just clean yourself up and hide it with a bit of make-up. No big deal. But what you hadn’t anticipated was that he was sitting in your room at your desk when you came home.
“Hey, your mom let me in I-“
Nothing could’ve prepared you for that look on his face and the way your heart dropped like a malfunctioning elevator. He got up from his place on the chair and walked over to you. His right hand rose to your chin, tilting it up to get a better look at your face, the traces of the fight evident. He delicately thumbed away the streak of blood from the corner of your mouth, not saying a single word while he examined the damage. After a brief pause he looked you dead in the eyes, your heart skipping a beat or two. His voice was quiet and tense, anger barely restrained.
“Who did this to you?” You could see a battle raging in his eyes, one of worry against rage. It scared you a little.
“No one, I uh.. I-“
“Don’t lie to me (y/n).” He took a deep breath and moved his hand to cradle the side of your face gently. “Who did this to you?”
You sighed. There was no way you could resist him, not when he looked at you with these puppy dog eyes, worry having won the battle and being on full display now.
“Promise me you won’t go after them.” You really didn’t want him to get in trouble. That ass would deserve it but you didn’t need Bucky having to go to detention and then being on house arrest for three weeks.
“Doll, I don’t know if I can.”
“Please Buck. I.. please. I don’t want you to get into trouble.” James eyes softened. He bit the inside of his cheek, it seemed like he was weighing his options.
“Fine. I won’t.”
“Josh.” It was a whisper, nothing more. His jaw clenched and unclenched a couple of times.
“That fucking son of a bitch.” He muttered, his chest rising and falling visibly. Oh the things he wanted to do to this asshole.
“Bucky I’m fine. It’s just a black eye. It’ll heal.” You tried to reassure him. You weren’t sure if it worked or not, his expression became unreadable. Your hand wrapped around his wrist, squeezing it gently in hopes to get him out of this trance.
James eyes focused on you. “And a split lip.” His thumb carefully traced your lower lip.
“It’ll heal.”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah. C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”
With a hand on the small of your back Bucky guided you into your bathroom. You sat down on the toilet with a sigh. He rummaged through your cabinets until he found the wash cloth he was looking for. You heard him running it under water, your eyes trained on your fidgeting hands. Bucky sat opposite of you on the edge of the tub, knees bumping into yours. He hooked one finger under your chin, tilting your head up. Carefully he cleaned your face from the little bit of blood still prominent on it.
“Jeez, doll. I’ll get some ice for that.” He said, pointing to your eye. It had taken on a dark shade of purple. He stood and threw the cloth into the hamper on his way out.
When he was out of sight you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Fuck. You could hear your heart beat ringing in your ears, it felt like it was going to jump out of your chest any second. You couldn’t tell him. Not now, not like this. He would leave, you were so sure of it. He would leave and never talk to you again. Maybe even join Josh and his friends.
Meere minutes later something cold was pressed against your face, startling you out of your thoughts.
“Sorry.” Bucky sat back down and handed you the ice pack. “So, what happened?”
“Nothing.” Was your immediate response.
You felt like James’ gazes was burning into your soul. “(y/n).”
A heavy silence fell between you two.
Bucky was the one to break it. “Are you trying to tell me that Josh just punched you because he felt like it?”
You couldn’t answer. Images kept flashing before your eyes. Your grip on that ice pack tightened. He reached out and took your free hand in his.
“Hey.” His voice was soft and gentle. His thumb trailed over the back of your hand, he was trying to find your gaze but you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. Too scared of what he might see in your eyes.
“Doll, whatever happened I want you to know that I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone, I’ll always be here.”
“You won’t.”
Buckys brows furrowed in confusion. His head tilted slightly to the right. “What?”
“I.. when I tell you, you’re going to leave.” His hand gripped yours tighter.
“What makes you think that?”
“I just.. you deserve so much better and there is just no way you’d ever want this. You’ll be so disgusted and leave and join Josh and-“
“Doll,” carefully as not to frighten you, he reached out to your ice pack clutching hand and brought it down, to look into both of your eyes, “how about we let me be the judge of that, hm?” A small smile tugged at his lips. Bucky sighed and leaned forward.
“Why did Josh punch you?”
God he was so close. Your breathing pattern was far from normal, and your heart was truly ready to burst through your rip cage right onto the floor.
“I uhm..” Your voice wavered and you stopped. You were making a fool out of yourself, why the hell was he still here? As if he had read your mind he squeezed your hands. When your eyes found his he gave you an encouraging nod. You took a shaky breath.
“You know my sketchbook?”
“The one you carry around everywhere? Yeah.”
“Yeah.. well,” you shut your eyes tightly, a poor attempt at grounding yourself, “last week I bumped into Josh in the hallway. It fell and opened on a page that- that wasn’t uhm.. a page not meant for anyone to see. I scrambled to pick it up but Josh was quicker.”
His hand started rubbing circles into the back of your left. Bucky winced when he looked at your bruised eye, must’ve gotten worse. He took the ice pack from your right and scooted closer, his legs trapping yours between them and gently held it to your eye. “Keep going.”
You swallowed around the lump in your throat.
“He started teasing me about it. His friends joined him too. They said.. they said mean things. I tried to ignore them but the comment he made today pushed me over the edge. It made me so angry and I just walked up to him and punched him. I couldn’t control myself.” You heard Bucky chuckle quietly.
“He so deserved that.” Was all he said.
“I mean, yes. But somehow I didn’t anticipate that he would punch back.” James jaw clenched.
“Son of a bitch.” He let go of your hand and reached up to tug some loose strands of hair behind your ear. His palm rested against your cheek, which you felt heat up instantly. “I’ll teach you how to defend yourself. For a next time that hopefully won’t happen.” His thumb traced your cheekbone.
You leaned into his touch almost automatically.
“Now, why would you think I would leave you? Because you gave that asshole what deserved?”
“’Cause..” A sigh. You stood and wormed your way out of the bathroom. It’d be easier to show than tell. You rummaged trough your backpack, pulling your sketchbook out. You let your fingers trail over its cover before pressing it to your chest. When you walked back into the bathroom your steps faltered and had you stopping a short distance before James. The sight broke your heart. The way he was sitting there with that ice pack in his hand and eyes full of worry and anger and something you couldn’t quite place. Tears welled up in your eyes and if someone were to ask you why you wouldn’t have known.
“Promise me that we can stay friends.” You couldn’t lose him. You were spiraling down a dark path before he found you. And you knew losing him would edge you back to that path.
“(y/n) I don’t-“
“Please just promise me.” You blinked involuntarily and a tear slipped free.
“Hey, shhh no.” Bucky was up in a split second, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close.
“I promise.” He whispered the words into your hair. “I promise you, doll.” A kiss was pressed to the top of your head. It took you a hot minute before you could stop shaking. His embrace was gentle and warm, you could get lost in it forever. And you were about to ruin it all. Fuck.
You took a step back, offering him the book. You nodded to the string hanging from in between the pages. “It’s the one.”
When he took the sketchbook his hands brushed yours. You took another step back wrapping your arms around your torso. His eyes found yours, not wavering from your gaze as he opened the book. He probably saw the anxiety drowning everything else. He looked down and let his eyes wander over the page that had caused you so much trouble. Yours found the tiles on the floor. They weren’t the prettiest but they were okay. You’d have to clean them soon. Your ears picked up the sound of his fingers smoothing the paper. Your eyes squeezed shut tightly, not being able to bare looking at his socked feet on the tiles anymore.
You knew the moment your pencil had touched the paper that day that it was a mistake. A beautiful one but it didn’t change its nature. The content of this page was all too familiar, having looked at it more than once after it was done. It were drawings of Bucky and you. Nothing bad one might think but it was the poses you had chosen. All sketched with references you had found on Pinterest, having switched out their faces for yours. The two of you cuddling, piggyback riding and kissing. You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought alone. There was also a side-profile study of him on that page. You had been sitting on his bed, he was sucked into a game he was playing online with Steve and your hand was moving on the paper. Fucking hell.
It was quiet for what felt like hours. Maybe it had been a minute, maybe 30. You didn’t know. A book being placed on a counter was what broke the silence. A heavy sigh followed. This was the moment everything would go down hill for you, you would’ve bet on it. So you did the only thing you could, brace yourself for the worst. You felt a hand under your chin, tilting it up. A thumb making its way along your jaw.
“Please look at me (y/n).” The way the soft whisper fell from his lips had your head spinning. You couldn’t help but open your eyes. Those goddamn blue eyes starred right into your soul. The emotion they held was familiar but you had no idea where to place it.
“You’re an idiot for thinking I’d leave.” He swallowed hard. “And apparently I’m an idiot for not making a move sooner.” His eyes flicked to your lips and back to your eyes, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.
“What?” There was confusion written all over your face. A smile found its way to his.
“I love you..” You heart stopped for a second before picking up its pace as if trying to run a marathon outside of your chest, “..have loved you for years. I didn’t dare of dreaming you’d ever see me more than as your best friend or even feel the same way. But I guess that proofs me wrong, huh?” He gestured to the abandoned sketchbook.
“Are you serious?” Your voice was strained, a part of you believed he was joking, thought he’d walk past you any moment and never look back.
“Do you want me to show you how serious I am?” His eyebrows lifted and a small grin etched itself into his features. He leaned in, closing the distance between you two but stopping before your lips touched. His hand found the base of your skull.
“Say something, doll.”
“yes.”
It was all he wanted to hear. His lips crashed into yours, leading you into a dance that you could hardly resist, that you didn’t want to resist. You would’ve melted into a puddle right on the spot if it were physically possible. You were glad for the arm that encircled your waist and brought you closer, fearing that your knees would give out at any moment.
His tongue found its way into your mouth challenging yours into a fierce battle. Not seeking a win but the fight itself. His taste was intoxicating and you found yourself getting addicted instantly. Your hands traveled up from his waist, one finding the spot where his neck met his shoulder, the other worming into his hair, nails scraping on the skin lightly earning you a moan from him.
The only reason the two of you broke apart was the fact that you need air to breathe. Bucky rested his forehead on yours, both of your eyes still closed, small smiles on your faces.
“I love you too.”
James chuckled and leaned back enough to find your gaze.
“You know, I still wanna punch that dickhead in the face but I’m glad that it lead to this.”
You couldn’t suppress the laugh that bubbled out of your mouth. “Yeah, me too.”
“Can I.. can I kiss you again?” Buckys hands cradled your face.
“I’d love that Buck.”
When your lips met you felt him smiling into the kiss. It was much softer, sweeter than the first one. You loved it just as much. The gentle press of his lips set butterflies loose in your stomach. A feeling you were so ready to feel for the rest of your life.
“God, I don’t think I could ever get tired of this.” A strand of your hair was tugged behind your ear.
“Me neither.”
“Good.”
You went to bed that night grinning from ear to ear, your sketchbook sitting on your bedside table. Little did you know that Bucky was grinning just as big in his bed a couple of streets away.