Changing
A bump in the road had the Machine's eyes fluttering open, as she jerked forward, realising that she was in a car. Her hand flew to the back of her head, feeling a bruise growing underneath her fingers. Her eyes darted to the driver, finding Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff conversing in the front seat, finding no sign of Rumlow in the car.
"Steve, I think we're about to have a problem passenger" Natasha murmured, whipping around to see the Machine had awoken.
"You left him" The Machine exclaimed, her hands flying to the seatbelt over her chest, looking ready to jump from the car.
"We saw a convoy of black SUV's heading that way not ten minutes ago. He'll be fine" Steve replied, but the Machine didn't appear convinced.
"He failed his mission. He will be punished" The Machine stated, hearing a scoff from Natasha.
"Good" Natasha muttered, unable to keep the disgust out of her tone.
"Mission failure is unacceptable. Usual punishment is execution" The Machine went on, seeing how Steve's brow furrowed from the front mirror.
"It was you or him. He couldn't come with us" Steve pushed, as the Machine pursed her lips.
"…He would negatively affect our mission?" The Machine suggested, as Steve nodded after a few seconds.
"You should be made aware you are both on the Algorithm's list. If you are unable to stop Project Insight, you will be dead within twenty-four hours" The Machine announced.
"No pressure then" Natasha sighed.
"How does this algorithm choose its targets? You said millions of people were on this list" Steve inquired, keeping his eyes firmly on the road.
"It uses every variable from a person's life. From their bank accounts, police records, SAT scores, to their search history" The Machine explained.
"And your people really think that can predict who will be a threat?" Steve huffed, in disbelief.
"It has shown already to be effective" The Machine replied, making Steve frown.
"What do you mean?" Steve asked.
"Many from the list have already been crossed off. It has been in circulation for some years" The Machine went on.
"You still haven't said. Who is it you work for exactly?" Natasha insisted, turning around when she saw how the Machine froze.
The words died on the Machine's lips, her deep conditioning coming to the surface. All that came out was a choked sound, the words 'Hail Hydra' whizzing through her mind. It was only then she fully realised what she was doing. Going against orders, betraying Hydra…she really was a traitor.
"Katy?" Steve called out, bringing her out of her thoughts.
"Unless the correct phrase is spoken, I am unable to divulge this information. My programming will not allow this. My apologies, Captain" The Machine told them.
"So much for know thy enemy" Steve exclaimed, running a hand over his face.
They stayed in silence for the next few minutes, as clouds started to form above them, the tiny pitter-patter of rain being the only sound in the car. The Machine watched in interest as water cascaded down her window, following the patterns the rain made with her fingers. She couldn't remember the last time she had even seen rain. Steve noticed this quickly, a small smile twitching on his lips as he saw the look of awe on her face. Without thinking, he pressed a button on the console that had the Machine's window winding down, as the wind blew into the vehicle. Natasha's brow furrowed at this, wondering what Steve was doing, when she saw how the Machine nervously held her out the open window, catching some raindrops on her palm. Natasha's eyes widened a little as she watched a genuine smile spread over the Machine's face, wide enough to show her white teeth. The Machine spun her hand around, clearly amused as she watched the rain fly off her fingertips. When Steve saw a turn off not far up the road, he indicated to pull over, causing Natasha to raise an eyebrow.
"Steve, we don't have time—" Natasha began, but Steve was quick to cut her off.
"Five minutes, Nat. Let her have this" Steve replied, his blue eyes boring into hers.
"…You're killing me, Rogers" Natasha groaned, earning a beaming grin in response, as he stopped the car.
He immediately jumped out of his seat, as the Machine tensed, her eyes darting around, not understanding why he had pulled over. She tilted her head as Steve opened her side door, ushering for her to exit the vehicle. She did so with intense suspicion, eyeing him warily as if she expected him to attack her. Her confusion grew when Steve grabbed a blanket from the boot of the car, indicating that he wanted her to place it over her shoulders.
"So you don't get cold" Steve stated, as the Machine tugged the fabric over her body.
"What is it you want me to do, Captain?" The Machine frowned.
"Just…enjoy yourself. Let go a bit, yeah?" Steve suggested.
"I…I don't know how to do that" The Machine admitted, looking up at him with wide eyes, as Steve felt a familiar pang of sympathy.
"Close your eyes. The rest will come eventually" Steve exclaimed, giving her arm a quick pat before returning to the vehicle.
The Machine found her lips twitching upright at the physical contact, finding it somehow reassuring. Like she was doing well. The only problem was she wasn't sure what exactly it was she was supposed to be doing. The Machine was quick to close her eyes, raising her head, as the rain dripped down her cheeks, cooling her skin. It felt…nice? Relaxing, maybe. She found herself swaying in the light wind, feeling her hair becoming wet from the rain, the blanket helping to protect her clothes. The Machine ran a hand through her hair, opening her eyes again, realising the sun had started to set. The pretty colours danced over the sky, mesmerising her for a moment. She was sure she had never watched a sunset before. It felt like something she would have remembered. The Machine had been counting the minutes in her head, and as soon as four minutes and thirty seconds passed, she made her way back to the vehicle, allowing them the time to leave at the five-minute interval that Steve had promised.
"You're not going to get rusty, are you?" Natasha teased, as the Machine pulled the dripping blanket away from her shoulders.
A strange noise escaped the Machine's lips before she could stop it. It was too hoarse to be considered a laugh, but the amusement was clear on her face. Natasha and Steve stared at the younger girl in shock, not thinking she was able to have such a reaction.
"…That was funny, wasn't it?" The Machine asked, realising she might have made a mistake.
"Don't worry, most of us don't get Natasha's humour" Steve teased, making the red-head roll her eyes.
"I think I'm starting to rub off on you, Rogers" Natasha smirked, as the two shared a look.
As the Machine reached out to grab the blanket, ready to dry her hair, a memory came to the forefront of her mind again. She remembered touching someone's else's wet hair, kneeling on a cold bathroom floor as water lapped at her thighs. With a frown, the Machine closed her eyes, finding herself welcoming the memory this time.
The Machine bit the inside of her cheek, tensing when she noticed the camera above her head, her eyes flickering to the Winter Soldier. He followed her gaze towards the camera, looking ready to storm out of the motel reception. With a slight shake of her head, the Machine raised her hand behind her back, and with a flick of her fingers that CCTV camera began to spark, causing the receptionist to curse under her breath.
"Goddamn cheap equipment. I keep telling the boss to fix it" The receptionist grumbled, as the Machine reached over the desk to give her a wad of cash.
"You get an extra night for free if you—" The receptionist began, but the Machine was quick to stop her.
"No…thank you" The Machine retorted, trying to force a smile on her face, which seemed to make the other woman uncomfortable.
"Your keys. Don't lose them" The receptionist warned, holding a small key out in her palm.
"We won't" The Winter Soldier responded gruffly, grabbing the keys from her hand.
"It's been a long drive" The Machine stated, when she saw how the receptionist quirked an unamused eyebrow.
"Room 10. Two lefts and you'll find your door" The receptionist exclaimed, crossing her arms, as the Machine gave a nod of thanks.
Just as the Machine turned back to the Soldier, ready to usher him out of the door, she could see how his shoulders had tensed. He was staring intently at a little boy, no older than six, whose own gaze was primarily on the Winter Soldier's wrist…and the metal that could be seen just above his glove. The Soldier was quick to shove his hand inside his pocket, but he knew the boy had seen more than he was supposed to. The Winter Soldier took a step forward, only to feel a hand grab his shoulder a second later, the grip strong. He whipped around to see the Machine glaring at him, a challenge behind her eyes. Without a word, the pair made their way towards the exit, the Winter Soldier giving the boy one last look as he stormed through the doors, finding the child to be on the verge of tears, a wet patch growing on his trousers. As soon as they reached their room and entered, the Soldier could tell he had displeased his companion.
"Were you really going to attack that boy?" The Machine blurted out, moving to draw their curtains closed.
"It was the logical decision" The Soldier responded.
"He was a child. What threat could he pose?" The Machine frowned, a harsh tone to her voice.
"He could tell his parents what he had seen. We should leave—" The Soldier began, but she cut him off quickly.
"That would only raise suspicion. The boy is harmless. Children should…should be protected" The Machine mumbled, not sure why she said the words.
"Is that one of your primary directives?" The Soldier inquired, still trying to understand how the Machine worked.
They had been on the run for almost a month now, and while the pair shared many similarities, their differences still outweighed. The Soldier was used to having one mission, everything he did was to ensure the success of the said mission. Whereas the Machine was programmed to follow out her directives. The Winter Soldier felt she lacked…direction. She was a valuable asset, but her programming seemed to be holding her back.
"No" The Machine shook her head, seeming confused herself.
"…I have a feeling washing your hair isn't one of your primary directives" The Machine spoke up, her lips upturned in a smile, catching the Soldier's eye.
Her joke appeared to fall short, as she saw how the Winter Soldier stilled, almost seeming to hit a nerve.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She didn't understand how humour worked. All she had done was offend…what was the Soldier? Her handler? No. A partner? That didn't seem right either. The Machine's brow furrowed as she watched him raise a hand to his hair, which was greasy and tangled.
"My unkempt appearance may negatively affect the mission…" The Soldier trailed off.
"I'm sorry, Si…I only meant—" The Machine stuttered over her words, remembering that he didn't want to be called Sir, but he was already walking into the bathroom.
She heard water beginning to run less than a minute later, followed by the rustling sound of fabric, and went to sit on the dirty motel bed. The Winter Soldier didn't hit her, didn't shout at her…he even let her call him an informal name. He was everything she wanted to be. And now she had messed it all up…again. Maybe it was time for her to be re-programmed, maybe that's what she needed—
A loud thump from the bathroom had her head snapping up, as she looked at the clock to see somehow twenty minutes had passed. She could hear water still running from the bathroom, but the Soldier was yet to emerge. How long was normal to shower? Pushing herself to her feet, the Machine made her way over to the bathroom door, listening carefully. When she heard a pained noise come from inside, she made her mind up and shoved the door open, a cloud of steam hitting her. The Machine's eyes quickly found the Soldier sitting on the floor near the tub, a towel wrapped around his waist, his head in his hands. Water droplets covered most of his body, but his hair seemed bone-dry.
"Soldier?" The Machine called out, but the man in question didn't respond.
She could see from the way his chest was quickly rising and falling that he appeared to be panicking. The Winter Soldier almost never panicked. Something was wrong with him.
"Buck?" The Machine exclaimed, now standing in front of the man.
His eyes flickered up to hers immediately, a vulnerable expression on his face, one that made her chest feel tight. She slowly crouched down in front of him, careful to stay out of his personal space. They stayed in silence for a whole minute, as the Machine debated what to say. She could ask if he was damaged, but that seemed counterintuitive.
"I don't think this is how you're supposed to shower" The words came tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them.
A sharp laugh left the Soldier's lips at her comment, averting his gaze to the bathroom floor a second later, appearing embarrassed by his reaction. A smile grew on the Machine's lips, feeling a little tension leave her body.
"Do you require assistance?" The Machine asked, as he gave a quick shake of his head.
"I don't think I like showering. It makes me feel…vulnerable. Uncomfortable" The Machine went on, exploring her own emotions, as she crawled over to sit beside the Soldier, her back to the tub.
"…I don't…I can't have my head under the water…" The Winter Soldier trailed off, his eyes firmly on the ground.
"Is that why you haven't been washing your hair?" The Machine inquired, receiving a nod.
"They used to test what I could withstand. Drowning seemed an appropriate method" The Soldier explained, as a grimace grew on the Machine's face.
"They shouldn't have done that" The Machine replied, in a soft tone.
"They did it to keep me compliant—" The Winter Soldier began, but she stopped him.
"It was cruel" The Machine blurted out.
"…You can't be cruel to a weapon" The Soldier mumbled, after a few seconds.
"My inhibitor is damaged. I was told that would make me malfunction…create faulty thinking. But when I look at you, Buck…I don't see a weapon" The Machine told him, as he turned to her with wide eyes, looking far younger than he should have.
She watched as his lips twitched into a smile for a brief second, before he pulled his eyes away from her, an odd nervous expression growing on his face. The Winter Soldier then pushed himself to his feet, turning back towards the tub, his jaw clenching.
"The mission is more important than my…comfort. I will wash now…" The Soldier stated, looking up at the showerhead as if it was about to attack him.
"I could wash your hair…if you want?" The Machine suggested, receiving a swift nod after a few moments.
It was a tricky position to get into but soon, the Soldier was sitting in the tub, the towel still wrapped around his hips. He slowly moved to rest his head at the back of the porcelain bath, gripping on tightly to either side of the tub as he heard the Machine grab the showerhead. The Machine had placed towels all around the bath, and one on her lap to hopefully stop the river of water that was soon to come. She noticed how the Soldier flinched when she turned the shower on, spraying a small amount onto her hand, trying to get the right temperature.
"Make it hot" The Soldier exclaimed, shivering at the memories of being held down in freezing cold water.
"I will make it quick" The Machine announced.
The Winter Soldier seemed surprised when she suddenly placed her hand on his shoulder, right over where his metal arm connected to his shoulder. She wondered if anyone had ever touched him there before. She could feel how he relaxed a little under her hand, his breathing steadying out a little more. With her other hand, she slowly moved the showerhead to hover over his scalp, a minimal amount of water coming down on his roots. He scrunched his eyes shut; his forehead contorted in distress but he didn't fight against her. Once his hair was damp, the Machine grabbed a nearby shampoo bottle and began to rub the product from his roots into the ends of his thick hair. It was clear the Soldier rarely brushed his hair, from all the tangles on display, but it was softer than she expected. The lines on his forehead slowly smoothed out as he relaxed under her hands, a ghost of a smile on his lips now. None of her handlers would have ever trusted her enough to see them in such a vulnerable position. They would have expected her to malfunction. But the Winter Soldier…trusted her?
"I'm going to turn the water back on now" The Machine informed him, as he gave a small nod, the tension returning to his body.
She had to turn the spray onto a higher setting this time, causing a small amount of water to drip down his cheek. The Soldier's metal hand clenched so hard against the porcelain tub that she was beginning to see dents. Without another thought, the Machine placed her hand back on his shoulder, continuing to rinse out the shampoo. She did her best to keep the water out of his face, but a little went flowing against his ear, making him flinch. He suddenly reached up to grab her hand, as the Machine stilled, expecting him to shove her away. Instead, he let out a shaky breath, gripping her hand hard, but almost pulling her closer. Within five minutes, she was finished, having drenched most of the bathroom floor and the trousers she had been wearing. The Machine went to pull her hand away from the Winter Soldier, but he kept his grip on her. The metal hand could have crushed her skin and bone in a matter of seconds, but the Machine wasn't afraid. That wasn't the emotion the man below her made her feel. In fact, it was the opposite—
"We've got company" Natasha's voice broke through the memory, as the Machine's eyes fluttered open.
She blinked a few times, realising they were at a rundown gas station, presumedly having run out of gas. The sun had almost set, but the Machine's eyesight was better than most, and she could quickly make out two black SUV's pulling into the station, making their way towards their car. There were a few other vehicles parked nearby, her eyes darting towards two children playing in the back of a car only a few metres away. Hydra didn't care about casualties. Or children.
"Hide underneath the blanket" Steve advised, as the Machine automatically followed his instructions.
"There are too many civilians here if we—" Steve began, but Natasha cut him off.
"Kiss me" Natasha exclaimed, as Steve's eyes almost popped out of his head.
"Public displays of affection makes people very uncomfortable" Natasha explained.
"Yes, they do" Steve stated, gulping loudly.
Even the Machine's movements stilled, having pulled herself to the floor, the blanket half over her head. Her mouth went slack as Natasha suddenly leant forward, pressing her lips to the blond's, capturing his soft gasp. Out of her peripheral vision she could see two agents making their way towards the vehicle, and slumped against the ground, making sure she was covered from head to toe, holding her breath with ease.
"Wouldn't mind doing that with Agent Hill" They heard a muffled voice cackle from outside, followed by soft footsteps leading away.
Once the Machine was sure they had walked away, she peaked from under the blanket, finding the two Avenger's still locking lips. Natasha's hand cupping Steve's cheek, whose hand had fallen to her waist at some point, appearing to want to pull her closer. The pair seemed to realise they had an audience, pulling away a few inches, Steve's mouth hanging open, looking completely awestruck.
"You don't look very uncomfortable" The Machine pointed out, finding a smile had grown on her lips.
"It's not exactly the word I would use" Steve mumbled, as a grin grew on Natasha's face, her eyes darting over to find the agents had gone back to their vehicle, already pulling out of the gas station.
Once they were sure they were in the clear, they took off again, hoping they had enough fuel now and wouldn't need to stop again. Natasha's eyes kept flickering between the device in her hands that had the coordinates, and Steve, a question on her lips.
"Was that your first kiss since 1945?" Natasha inquired, with a teasing smirk.
"That bad, huh?" Steve scoffed.
"I didn't say that" Natasha shrugged.
"Well, it kind of sounds like that's what you're saying" Steve muttered, with a roll of his eyes.
"No, I didn't. I just wondered how much practise you've had" Natasha went on, unable to keep the smile from her face.
"You don't need practice" Steve retorted.
"Everybody needs practice" Natasha told him, as the two shared a look for a moment.
"Is that why people kiss?" The Machine couldn't help but ask.
"No…no. You kiss someone because you like them" Steve informed her, as the Machine pursed her lips, in a surprisingly human gesture.
"How do you know if you like someone?" The Machine frowned.
"Well…I suppose if you enjoy spending time with them. If you miss them when they're not around. They…make you happy" Steve shrugged, a sad expression growing on his face, as he thought of someone in particular.
"I'm not used to feeling these emotions. It's all very complicated" The Machine sighed, making Natasha laugh lightly.
"Careful, Rogers. You'll have to explain about the birds and the bees next" Natasha suggested, seeing a blush growing on the blond's cheeks.
"Oh, you mean about sex?" The Machine exclaimed, surprising the pair.
"Have you ever…?" Natasha questioned, turning around to raise an eyebrow.
"No. I am not allowed. It is against a primary directive. I am supposed to inform Agent Rumlow of any inappropriate touching" The Machine went on, as Natasha's eyes flickered to Steve's for a moment.
"So, you've never kissed anyone?" Natasha inquired, a rare look of sympathy on her face.
"I…I'm not supposed to…" The Machine trailed off.
Steve had his eyes firmly on the road ahead, but she could see how his shoulders had tensed, looking like he wanted to hit something. She had done something wrong.
"Have I upset you, Captain?" The Machine frowned, as Steve shook his head as quickly as he could.
"You just…it sounds like…if someone has taken advantage of you…" Steve stuttered over his words.
"I understand the need for consent, Captain. I did not say no in these incidents" The Machine told him, making Steve grimace.
"Are you sure you could have said no?" Steve replied, as the Machine mulled this over.
"My main function is to make my handler happy. Why would I want to say no?" The Machine went on, as Steve's grip on the steering wheel got tighter.
"Was it Rumlow?" Steve pushed, seeing her nod slowly in the mirror.
"Did you ever do more than just kiss?" Natasha frowned, as the Machine nodded once again, her eyes averted to the floor.
"He didn't force me" The Machine exclaimed, as Steve all but growled.
"That's not the point—" Steve insisted but was cut off quickly by Natasha.
"Steve!" Natasha gaped, ushering to where Steve had dented the steering wheel, having crushed the metal between his fingers.
"…They used to hit me. The handlers before Agent Rumlow. They would punish me and hurt me and…do other things. I don't remember a lot of it. He never did that, so…I didn't mind when he kissed me" The Machine explained, wanting to correct her mistake.
"That doesn't make it right" Steve muttered, with a shake of his head.
"Should I not have told you?" The Machine asked.
"Hey, you can tell us anything, alright? Whatever you've done…you can change. You are changing. You're doing good, Katy" Natasha exclaimed, as the Machine realised it was the first time the redhead had used her other name.
The Machine gave her a small smile, which the older woman returned. She realised that the Captain wasn't angry at her, he was angry at Rumlow.
And maybe the Machine was too?
Before she had the time to analyse this, she heard a strange sound from the woods they were driving past. A static sound. Like a radio. The sound of a car racing over twigs and branches, breaking everything in its path. They were being followed, the Machine realised a moment too late. All of a sudden, the two black SUV's from before were emerging from the woods, on either side of them. Steve noticed this immediately, speeding up in an attempt to outrun them, but the car they were in was already going its maximum speed. They were trapped. The SUV's pulled in closer, starting to ram into their vehicle, trying to force them to veer off the road.
"How did they find us?" Steve murmured, trying to keep his control on the car.
"Get ready to break" The Machine announced, unbuckling her seatbelt and leaning forward.
"What are you going to do?" Natasha queried, getting no reply in return.
The pair watched as the Machine slowly raised her arms, hearing a spluttering sound coming from the other vehicle's engines. Her eyes darted between the two cars as if wanting them to get into a certain position.
"Now!" The Machine cried, as Steve hit the breaks.
They came to a sudden halt, but the Machine stayed rooted to the spot, suddenly clapping her hands together. The two SUV's simultaneously swerved into each other a moment later, driving too fast to be able to stop. The force of the impact caused metal to fly over the road, both of their front windshield's completely shattered. Steve's eyes widened as he saw one of the driver's had been thrown across the road, clearly not having worn a seatbelt.
"They're not dead" Natasha exclaimed, noticing one of the passengers was trying to shove his door open, a gun already in his hand.
With a tilt of her head, the Machine's gaze fell on the hood of the car, her hand shooting forward as the front of the car seemed to explode, the hood of the vehicle flying into the air. A large fireball quickly engulfed the SUV with the remaining agent inside, a terrified yelp leaving his lips before the fire consumed him. Steve turned back to her with wide eyes, seeing a drop of blood running down from her nose, as she lowered her head.
"We should keep going" She advised, a firm tone to her voice, as Steve did as he was told, hurtling off down the road.