Lost to Arcadia

Tony, Bucky and Steve were all sitting in the closed Carbonell’s Cars garage. He wasn’t going to let normal clients wander inside while he was talking about prosthetics and wyrd in the same sentence. He plans on staying a simple mechanic in his everyday life, ok? There was one thing he was good at, and it was keeping his ‘human’ life separate from his changeling’s one. 

While he was working he managed to chat a bit with Bucky while Steve just stayed back, watching silently Tony’s every move. Not with that frown, he meet him with, he seemed curious and interested which made the Wizened smug. Just a little. he liked to impress people with his skills. Something he couldn’t enjoy, since he played the simple car mechanic for a living. He could do so much more but no one wanted someone who had no diplomas to his name. If only they knew who he was… But that wasn’t possible anymore, he shouldn’t go down that road.

As the conversation continued and change, Tony learned that Bucky and Steve were childhood friends. It made the mechanic raise an eyebrow and Steve choose this moment to jump in and explain.

“Yes. We’ve heard about the fake humans They put when they kidnap people. I didn’t have one so when I came back I just… Walk back into my mundane life, or at least tried to.” he cleared his throat, the memory of it coming back to him and making him uneasy. “I don’t know why either They didn’t do it. Fury told me that I’m the first changeling to whom it happened.”

“Well aren’t you a lucky one.” Tony mumbled under his breath.

The Fairest glared at him but didn’t comment. It wasn’t hard to guess that Tony didn’t get his old life back. He couldn’t disagree, he was blessed with his life but calling him lucky… Bucky sent a worried look towards his friend and Steve blinked slowly at him with a quirk of his lips. Don’t worry. I’m fine.

“So tell me Bucky, how one is born a werewolf?” Tony asked while taking the measurements needed for the werewolf’s arm. (And also desperate to change to tone of the conversation.)

Bucky let out an amused huff at Tony’s question with a shake of the head.  

“Well bud, when a werewolf loves another werewolf, or human, very much, they fuck and pop out a litter.

“Buck…” groaned the Fairest while Tony bark out a laugh, clearly not expecting such a blunt answer.

“What?” the werewolf asked, eyebrows rising. “He asked, I delivered. I know the whole folk story is that we infect people but that’s bullshit. We are not a disease. Plus not every kid born from a werewolf line has werewolves capacities. 

“Huh, it’s a recessive gene? Like redheads?

“Sure, even if there are more werewolves than redheads on this earth.” Bucky answered back at the mechanic who nodded along. the wolf then tilted his head curiously and proceeded to share his own thoughts.

“I’m surprised you changelings weren’t aware of us though. Pretty sure non-humans tend to meet or are vaguely aware of others. 

“We don’t mix well with others.” he shrugged. “We keep an eye open for other changelings but that’s it. Our Court says it’s too dangerous and reckless to engage with others…” he waved at the man’s whole body. “other you.”

He didn’t really believe that though. He thinks of Thor in particular, who is always smiling and trying to lift people’s spirits up. Even Tony himself could be a people person if he wanted to. The wizened realised that was all he had since he didn’t like any other changelings. (Or, if we were honest, he didn’t bother to try to know and like any other social being. Thor managed to get through because he couldn’t stop even if he tried.)

So why not mix with other creatures or plain humans? Fury claimed it was for the wellbeing of his Court. If, for example, every werewolf learned about changelings, they will get curious. And since changelings don’t have much power or control over their wyrd, if they are seen as monsters or threats they won’t stand a chance. Better to hide from everyone, to concentrate on sheltering and grouping all of the changelings together. Barnes was the exception. Why? Because he had a pal changeling? 

Tony sent a side glance to Steve. Fury didn’t seem to be charmed or influenced by the fairest. So it couldn’t be just because he fluttered those white eyelashes of his. So Fury probably needs a werewolf. Give him an arm, offer a community of changelings for his friend, and get yourself a loyal doggy. Well, maybe don’t say that out loud Tony.  

He’ll give it to Fury though: if he gets a werewolf on his side it could be useful. And it won’t be the Wizened problem anyway. He’s just there to fix the arm and then, bye-bye! He will be left in peace by the Court. 

“And you Rocky? Did you hang a bit in Valhölh?” He must be popular since he’s a new face in the pub. 

Steve made a face at his question. Or maybe it was the nickname? To be fair, it was a shitty nickname, he needed to find another. 

“I… Well, the barkeeper was nice?” the fairest said awkwardly, rubbing his neck. 

“Ah, Thor! Yeah, he is. He’s a kind soul, don’t tell him I said that. Since you’re a dog person you would get along with him: he acts like such a puppy sometim-OW!” Tony yelped and pointed his pen at Bucky, while rubbing his side. “What the fuck you threw at me?

Resting against the table with all of the mechanic tools, the werewolf dropped the leftover screws he had in his hands and smiled with his teeth. Very pointy teeth. If he thought that was intimidating, well, it was. But Tony had seen worse and just sniffed back hauntigly at him. 

“That’s for the ‘dog-person’ comment. Don’t push your luck Carbonnel.” the wolf warned him, half-serious.

“I knew Fury lied when he said you were house-trained.” Tony snarked back. “Remember who’s making your arm.”

A small chuckle caught them off-guard and Bucky fake gasped at his friend.

“Et Tu Brutus?

“I mean.” the Fairest let a smirk appear on his lips. “It’s not like I didn’t make the same jokes. And he is making your arm. Fury had sung your praises when he talked about you. Will you truly be able to link the arm to his shifting?

“Of course! I just need to first make a prosthetic for you as a human, then one for you as a wolf, then I'll improvise a bit-

“That’s reassuring…

“Look, wyrd is weird, pun intended. It feeds on three things: logic, imagination and emotions. Logic because it needs to settle in reality. Imagination because you’re creating something with it. Emotions because emotions always fuck things up.”

Tony rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He’ll probably need to see Bucky shifting from human to wolf and back to human to have an idea of the spell he needs to work on. 

“You don’t… look like the one to be disrupted by emotions.” a mumble caught his ears.

Tony turned around with a raised eyebrow. The Fairest looked away embarrassed at being caught, for a split a second, before facing him again. At least, he didn’t shy away when caught. The Wizened turned fully towards him. He didn’t like what Steve said. He couldn’t pinpoint if it was a compliment or an insult. And maybe the changeling didn’t know it himself. Sadly for him, Tony was the kind to push and be inquisitive when something was said. 

“Do I? Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s just a bit presumptuous to think you know me after the second meeting.

“From the two meetings what I’ve got was, you joke around about what happened to us with Them. You stay away from the Court and push away other changelings who tries to open to you. And you don’t help unless you’ve got something to gain for yourself.”

The wizened bristled at that and sneered right back, without missing a beat.

“ Well let me make my own assumptions. I have in front of me a changeling who spent 10 years without even looking for a Court, who doesn’t know shit about our society and now knows better. You must be incredibly smart! Or just full of yourself. I also can see you’re not letting go of that ring who stinks Fae, and since you’re a Fairest, it doesn’t seem stupid to think you’re more than a favourite. You were a lover, a high-class mistress for one of Them. “

He took a step closer to Steve who also took the bait and took a step forward, his solid body moving with fluidity even when made of marble. Bucky tried to grasp his arm, stop his friend from the confrontation but the blond man shook him off.

“You don’t know anything .” The Fairest growled, eyes blues sparkling with anger.

“You know what we say about Fairest though? It’s incredibly rare to see one escaping Arcadia. The reasons? Either they just can’t escape, or…” 

Tony leaned in, standing in a close face to face with the beautiful changeling, and, with all the spite he had, whispered:

 “They don’t want to.”

The world tipped backwards and Tony felt the ground slam against his back. The pain shot through him and he let out a yelp of surprise/pain. His workshop rumbled then roared to life as he cursed and squirmed under the large mass. He was not having this!

Bucky’s panicked voice couldn’t cut through them. What he could only see was those blue eyes, staring into him and he stared right back. He wanted to kick his ass but thankfully he remembered that this dude was made of marble and he would hurt himself if he tried. 

“Don’t you either think I loved Them. I didn’t survive all of this just to have an asshole claiming I wanted this.” Steve spat out with fury.

He was holding down the Wizned wrists and pressed harder to underline his words. Tony felt the pulse in his chest beating stronger and faster. Blue light was seeping through his cotton shirt and a fleeting thought came up to him. He’s going to see it. I can’t let anyone see it. But he very quickly pushed it away and answered back with as much energy. 

“Then don’t assume shit about me. If you had a decade to heal, I’ve only been back for four years and no family waiting for me.”

The thought of Jarvis smiling at him made his chest ache with pain. He wanted to have his old friend back. He was… Jealous. He was jealous of what Bucky and Steve had. They had each other even when life had tried to tear away one of them. 

Steve had the decency of looking shaken at the revelation and, finally, let himself be pulled away by a frantic Bucky. Tony will give him points for trying: he could still feel the heavy mass crushing him and the cold hands around his wrists and shoulder. Bucky clearly had trouble moving his friend about with the weight of him.

“What the fuck is wrong with both of you?!” the werewolf growled. "And call off your robots Carbonnel!"

Tony saw that all screens had turned on and hands made of cables and wires had started to crawl around them. He blinked a few times, surprised at himself, he knew the workshop reacted to his moods but it never turned violent against something. He noticed Dum-E rolling around, letting out a long beep worriedly. The mechanic waved at him to back off and the claw lowered itself, obedient. Steve and Bucky looked at the place brimming with wyrd and Bucky let out a sigh. Anxious but still admirative.

“I'll give it to you: that was pretty badass.”

And just with that, the tension broke, Tony let out a laugh. Yeah. Yeah, he was pretty badass. He gave a “Ha, see?” look at Steve but couldn’t get the man to look back. The Fairest looked exhausted, his eyes gazing aimlessly at the ground. Frowning, Tony opened his mouth to try and snap him back to reality but another voice cut through the silence.

“Well, well. That went poorly.”

The voice was soft and feminine, making their head snap where it came from. It belonged to a slim silhouette all draped in black who seemed to appear out of nowhere. Black pantsuit, heels gliding without a noise along the concrete floor towards them, she was like a character out of a black and white film. The only touch of colour on the newcomer had was her red lips and scarlet hair that fell at her back. If Bucky perked up at the pretty lady appearance, Steve and Tony recoiled a little. Her eyes and nose were non-existent. As if someone had taken an eraser and rubbed out the details. Sure there was a bump where a nose should be and a slight cavity for where the eyes had been but that was it. Just smooth skin and yet, she moved her head as if she was taking in each of them. It was clearly unsettling. Tony envied Bucky and the fact that he could stare at the illusion instead. For changelings can see the damage made by the Fae but no one else can. The Wizened narrowed his eyes at her. If she was there since all the confrontation without any of them noticing her, she could be a Darkling. Darklings are partially made of shadows, Fury being the best example. She seemed to feel his gaze and sent him a smile that looked mischievous and sharp at the same time. Yeah. Definitely a Darkling.

She stopped a few meters away from them, crossed her arms and smiled.

“The name is Widow. I was sent here to meet up with Tony Carbonnel. Didn’t expect to interrupt such a dramatic lover’s quarrel.”

Steve and Tony looked at each other before sending a scathing glare at the Widow. The heck was she talking about? She ignored the glares and turned away to pull a chair out for herself. Tony knew what to expect next. She was just going to wait here until she could give her message and then leave among the shadows. Since she didn’t just say it and left the second she introduced herself, Tony guessed it was just for his ears only. He got back up on his feet and brushed off the dust on his work trousers. He really hated those shadowy messengers. At least she didn't chatter like Agent Coulson. God does that one blabber until he gets a response from the mechanic.

“We’re nearly finished anyway. Bucky, I need to see you in wolf form. Steve…Stand over there, look pretty and don’t bother me.”

An hour later -so he wasn’t as nearly finished as he thought, so what?- the mechanic was walking the duo out. Widow hadn’t said another word even if Bucky had tried to get her attention in and out of wolf form, showing off his muscles when he could and earning eye rolls from the changelings. But it made the atmosphere bearable after the nearly-fighting between Steve and Tony.

When the three of them were on the threshold, Bucky pushed Steve slightly forward. Making him face the Wizened who looked as surprised as the blond. The wolf jerked his chin in his direction before walking away from the entrance with one last goodbye for Carbonnel. The exchange was odd for Tony but not for the Fairest who seemed to be displeased by his attitude. But he took a deep breath and did what was asked of him. Gazing directly at Tony he said:

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that you had no emotions.” It was honest at least. He looked expectantly at Tony, probably waiting for an excuse from him too. After all, he hadn't been kind either. Sadly for him, Tony was stubborn and didn’t want to say it back just yet.

“What’s the deal with the ring?"

That was the start if the fight. That lingering gold who never left his wedding finger and who seemed to ooze with wyrd. Logic, Imagination and emotions. This thing was filled to the brim with emotions.

Steve flinched and clutched his hand to his chest. Tony could admire how his blue eyes seemed to turn different shades of dark blue before going back to normal. Tony could only stare at them and had to blink a few times to snap out of it. Damn fairest and their handsomeness. Now was not the time! 

“Let it go…” Steve mumbled without much strength in his voice.

It has been said that Fairest had the biggest struggles with going back to normal life. The Fae were abusers and probably jammed lies upon lies in the changelings’ heads to keep them by their side. Hell, Tony could relate: his own tormentor would shower him with affectionate words, telling him how beautiful and how perfect he was making him. For you, just for you. When in reality it had always been for Their own sick goals. Tony sighed.

He actually nearly believed his own insult back there in his workshop. Did Steve regret Arcadia, in a land full of pain yet wonder? Did a part of him fall to Stockholm Syndrom? Was it possible to feel anything positive towards Fae even through mental trauma? It seemed impossible, especially after all the horrors, through the body modification and the whole I’m-stealing-you-from-your-life-and-family thing. No changelings had affection for Arcadia or for anything that comes from there. 

Steve gritted his teeth, clearly uncomfortable and Tony let out a soft sigh. He shouldn’t push just because he was curious. Even if the ring was the weirdest thing possible.

“Sorry, it’s not my business. If it helps you, so be it.”

They awkwardly looked at each other and Tony held out a hand.

“Let’s try this again. My name’s Tony Carbonnel and I won’t stare at you creepily when you sleep again.”

Steve snorted at that and shook the offered hand.

“Steve Rogers, I’ll remember not to piss you or your workshop off.” 

As he said that, his eyes went down to Tony’s chest. The mechanic frowned. He knew he couldn’t have noticed much when we were fighting. Still, he couldn’t take any risk. He needed to make him stop thinking about it.   Bravado back, Tony unbuttoned his shirt down, revealing human skin and chest hair at the poor Steve who looked back up, dumbfounded and eyes wide. Tony laughed at his expression.

“You can look all you want Rocky but you’re not going to see anything changeling about me.”

At least, right now he couldn’t. 

“I-Well, sorry. Again. I shouldn’t stare.

“Let’s say we’re even now.”

Steve gave a genuine smile and waved goodbye as he went back to join Bucky on the street. 

Tony waved back before stepping back inside his garage. Through the door he watched their back going further down the streets. It was the evening, the many shades of orange of the dusk bathing the city in its colours. After staring at their retreating back the mechanic went back inside with a tired expression. He still had to deal with the Widow waiting for him but he slipped to the bathroom discreetly first. He washed his face there, cooling himself down a bit, then looked at himself with tired eyes. He was the only changeling who could look human with and without wyrd. But it hasn't always been the case. Or at least, they had been one single thing that would tip people off. He closed his eyes and laid a hand over his “heart”. The first time he noticed the blue light he had completely freaked out. He would wear layers and layers of clothes, sweating non-stop, just to hide it. Now he knew how to hide it and he’ll keep it that way. It was harder when he was upset or scared when he was in the middle of creating something, but he’ll just have to push it down further down. 

No one should see it.

“It’s because you hide it that people stare.”

He jumped and turned around to see Widow facing him, eyeless and pale. 

“T-the fuck?! This is a restroom! My restroom even!

“You were taking too long.” she uncrossed her arms and rested herself against the wall. “I am here on behalf of Fury, as you have probably guessed.

“Well, there is only one reason why changelings walk through this door and it’s not for my charming self, sadly. What does the cyclops want now?”

From the shadows that made her clothes, she pulled out something. Tony frowned at it and took it carefully. It was the picture of a very pretty redhead. Looking defiantly at the camera with the same intensity when she had met him. He turned it between his hands before asking wearily:

“Who is she?

“Virginia Potts. She seemed to be looking deeply into you, a bit too deeply. Since she was around when your fake died you might have a little visit from her and it’s better to warn you about it.”

Tony lift his head to ask her more about it, but the Widow was gone. Message delivered. The Wizened looked back down at Potts and sighed. Was she close to that other him? Was she still mourning like Jarvis and it’s why she was looking for him? Even though, she won’t get any answers from him. He couldn’t speak for that Fae version of himself. And a selfish part of him was glad that he was gone. 

He crushed the picture in his hands. He’ll be careful and move on.

Everyone does.