Avengers Watch Loki

Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1985

Hunter C-20 and some minutemen arrive. 

Hi! What's going on? You guys aren't dressed right. I... So... 

MinuteMan: Variant detected, Commander. 

Hunter C-20: Let's move. 

Some of us need this, you know. They walk into a tent.

“They’re going to be ambushed,” Peter said.

MinuteMan: No nexus energy yet, ma'am. 

“That tent is kinda creepy,” Ned said and Peter nodded in agreement. 

An announcement starts over a speaker.

It's a trap. Watch your backs!

Announcer: My lords, my ladies, welcome and thank you for joining us, here at the castle. Please, settle into your seats for a great battle is about to commence. The prize? Our princess. Will evil prevail, or are we holding out for a hero? The song ‘Holding out for a Hero starts to play’. 

“Why would you play that song in a show about Loki?” Clint questioned.

Someone touches the side of C-20’s head, making her eyes flash green. 

“I’m guessing that’s the other Loki,” Steve said.

She takes off her helmet and starts to attack the other minutemen. 

“What…?” Peter asked in confusion.

“Mind control,” Clint said in annoyance, “Of course the other Loki does mind control too.”

Commander? C-20 stabs the minutemen and the hooded figure stabs them from the back. C-20 starts to attack another minuteman. 

What are you doing?

Hunter C-20: Having some fun. Her eyes flash green again and she passes out. The hooded figure kills the last minuteman. They take the reset charges and use the TemPad to take C-20 with them. 

The intro with the changing letters plays. 

Loki is reading a jet ski magazine. 

“Why do time cops have a magazine about jet skis?” Sam asked.

“Cause they like jet skis,” Peter responded.

Miss Minutes: Okay, y'all, let's review what we've learned. What happens when a nexus event branches past red line? 

Loki: Very bad things. 

“Oh you don’t say,” Tony said sarcastically. 

Miss Minutes: Come on, Loki. What is it? 

Loki: It's when the TVA can no longer reset a nexus event. Okay? Boring. 

“And obviously jet skis are more interesting than time travel,” Nat sassed. 

Miss Minutes: Right. And that would lead to the destruction of the timeline and the collapse of reality as we know it. 

“Why is she smiling while saying that?” Peter questioned.

Loki: Can you hear me? Are you a recording? Or are you alive? Loki starts to roll up the magazine. 

Miss Minutes: Uh, sorta both. 

Loki: Ah. He checks to make sure no one is watching and then tries to hit Miss Minutes with the magazine. 

Several Avengers started snickering. 

Miss Minutes: Watch it! Where's your manners? Oh! Hey! Quit it! That is not nice. Jerk. Miss Minutes goes into the computer. 

Loki: You can't hide... 

Mobius: Training goin' well? 

Loki: Yeah. 

Mobius: Is that my jet ski magazine? Put it down.Gear up. There's been an attack. Let's go. Mobius hands Loki a jacket. 

Mobius: Put it on. Good. Yeah. Smart. 

Hunter B-15: C-20 and her team went dark shortly after they jumped into the 1985 branch. All signs point to another ambush. We've grabbed enough temporal aura to know it's our Loki Variant. But which kind of Loki, remains unknown. 

Loki: They're the lesser kind, to be clear. 

“Don’t think the other Loki would agree,” Tony joked. 

Hunter B-15: Let me see the back of that jacket. Loki turns around, revealing the word Variant on the back of the jacket.  

Some more snickering. 

Loki: Very subtle. Well done.

Hunter B-15: I don't want anybody out there to forget what you are. 

Loki: Oh, your only hope of capturing a murderer? 

“Says a murderer,” Clint said.

Hunter B-15: No. A cosmic mistake.

“I agree,” Tony joked, causing almost everyone to laugh.  

Mobius: That's enough. 

Loki: Lovely. 

Mobius: Here's the deal. When we get out on the branch, we're not just looking for a Time Criminal. We're looking for a Loki. A variation of this guy. A type we should all be very familiar with, because the TVA has pruned a lotta these guys, almost more than any other Variant. We see Jotun Loki, a bike racer Loki, and a Hulk Loki. 

“What the hell happened to those Lokis?” Sam questioned. 

“I don’t even want to know,” Tony responded. 

Mobus: And no two are alike. Slight differences in appearances, or not so slight. Different powers, although, powers, generally include shape-shifting, illusion-projection, and my favorite... 

Loki: Duplication-casting. 

Mobius: Illusion-projection.

Loki: No, they're two completely different powers. 

Mobius: How? 

Loki: Illusion-projection involves depicting a detailed image from outside oneself, which is perceptible in the external world, whereas duplication-casting entails recreating an exact facsimile of one's own body in its present circumstance, which acts as a true holographic mirror of its molecular structure. But you already knew that. 

“Wish we could be learning that instead of Physics,” Peter told Ned. 

Mobius: Okay, take a breath. Noted. We're gonna break into two teams, including myself and Professor Loki. 

Why? 

Mobius: Because whoever this Variant is, we haven't been able to find him. So let's bring in an expert. 

Loki: That's me. 

“Really?” Wanda said sarcastically. 

Loki: Do I get a weapon? 

Mobius: Nah. 

Loki: Well, I'll have my magic back. Is no one concerned about that? 

Mobius: Of what? 

Loki: Me betraying you. 

Mobius: No. 

Loki: Why not? 

Mobius: Because you already know that we can catch you. And how's betraying us gonna get you any closer to the Time-Keepers? 

Loki: An audience with the Time-Keepers is on the table?

Mobius: Keep that focus. The team goes to the 1985 branch. 

Apex of nexus signature located, ma'am. 

Loki: Let me ask you this, why don't we just travel back to before the attack, when the Variant first arrives? 

“They probably haven’t figured out a  way to do that,” Vision answered. 

Mobius: Nexus events destabilize the time flow. This branch is still changing and growing, so you gotta show up in real time. Did you watch any of the training videos you were supposed to? 

Loki: Well, as many as I could stand. Your TVA propaganda is exhausting. 

“Not even Gods like homework,” Ned joked.

“Do they even have homework on Asgard?” Peter asked.

“Thor never mentioned anything,” Steve said.

“Well of course he’s not going to randomly start talking about homework,” Nat sassed.

MinuteMan: And what do these do? He shows the reset charges. 

Loki: Reset charges prune the affected radius of a branched timeline, allowing time to heal all its wounds. Which sounds like a nice way of saying disintegrate everything in its vicinity. 

“So the other Loki has several disintegrating time bombs, this just keeps getting better and better,” Sam said. 

Mobius: He's on it. 

Loki: I watched the videos. I mean, some of them. They go into the tent. 

Hunter B-15: So he's taking hostages now?

Mobius: The Variant's never taken a hostage before. 

Hunter B-15: Maybe he's upping his game. 

MinuteMan: Or he pruned her. 

Hunter B-15: A Loki couldn't have gotten the jump on C-20. 

“Actually…” Wanda said.  

Loki: I think you underestimate, actually... 

Hunter B-15: Fan out and search for her. And hurry up, because we're at three units until red line. 

Mobius: Come on. 

Loki: Wait... If you leave this tent, you'll end up like them. 

Mobius: What do you see? 

Loki: I see a scheme, and in that scheme, I see myself. We have a saying in Asgard, "Where there are wolf's ears, wolf's teeth are near." It means to be aware of your surroundings. Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again simply by listening. My teeth were sharp, but my ears even sharper. 

Hunter B-15: We're running out of time, Mobius. 

Mobius Hold it. Just give him a chance. 

Loki: You remind me of them. The Time Variance Authority and the gods of Asgard, one and the same. Drunk with power, blinded to the truth. Those you underestimate will devour you. You underestimate me, just as you underestimate this lesser Loki. Which is why you walk into one wolf's mouth after another. 

Hunter B-15: Two units. He is wasting our time. 

Mobius: Okay. Come on, Loki, make a long story short. 

Hunter B-15: We need to look for C-20. 

Loki: But that's exactly what the Variant wants you to do. It's a trap. He's waiting for you outside this tent. 

MinuteMan: Should I secure the reset charges? 

Loki: No. He wants me. I'm the key to his plan. He knows that I'm stronger.

“He’s lying,” Nat said.

“How do you know,” Peter asked.

“Because the other Loki would never think someone is stronger than him,” Nat responded. 

“And because the other Loki went through that portal,” Clint added. 

Hunter B-15: Almost one unit. 

Loki: And he rightly believes that together we can overthrow and rule the TVA. But that's not what I want. I have a new purpose. I'm a servant of the Sacred Timeline. And knowing what I now know about his tactics, I can deliver you the Variant, but I need assurances. 

Mobius: Yeah? 

Loki: Assurances that I won't be completely disintegrated the moment the job has been done. 

Mobius: Right...  

Loki: We'll need to speak to the Time-Keepers at once. They're in graver danger than we realized. 

Mobius: He's lying. Just playing games. There's no one out there. 

Hunter B-15: Reset the timeline. 

Mobius: You had me for a second. My ears are sharp too. 

The reset charge disintegrates everything that isn’t supposed to be there. At the TVA, a monitor shows the branch timeline disappearing. Cut to Ravonna Renslayer’s office.

Mobius: Is it just me, or does this office keep getting better and better? Where'd you get that one, the snow globe? I love those. I don't remember bringing back that case. Renslayer pours some drinks. 

Renslayer: You're not the only analyst working for me.

Mobius: But, would you say, maybe, I'm your favorite one? And why do you get to keep all the trophies from my cases in here? You don't think I'd love having that roller skate there sprucing up my cubicle? 

Renslayer: Because I approve the missions. 

Mobius: Good point. 

Renslayer: Speaking of which, let's talk about the one you just botched. You might need this for our discussion. She hands him a drink. 

Mobius: I hope it's a double. 

Renslayer: This Variant is... "Insubordinate, stubborn, unpredictable." 

“Well he is the God of Mischief,” Vision said.

Renslayer: Sounds like someone else I know.

Mobius: I was just thinking it sounds like someone I know. He puts the drink on the table.  

Renslayer: Mobius? 

Mobius: What? Those rings were already there. 

Some of the guys snickered. 

Renslayer: And they're all from you. 

Mobius: Maybe it's from your other favorite analyst. 

“Sure,” Clint said sarcastically. 

Mobius: Listen, Ravonna, I'm sorry. I realize that my, you know, methods with this Loki are controversial, but... 

Renslayer: Towing a dangerous Variant into the field is controversial. 

Mobius: Yeah, it didn't go exactly the way I wanted it to today, but here's what we did find out. The Variant likes to stall for time, and, eventually, we'll catch the other one doing the same thing. Because understanding this Loki helps me get closer to the one we're chasing. Right? 

“It won’t help you if he stabs you and leaves you for dead,” Wanda said. 

Renslayer: Look, I know you have a soft spot for broken things. 

Mobius: I don't think so. 

Renslayer: Yes, you do. But Loki is an evil, lying scourge. That is the part he plays on the Sacred Timeline. 

Mobius: Maybe he wants to mix it up. Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part. Is that possible? He can change? 

“Don't think he wants to change,” Steve said.

Renslayer: Not unless the Time-Keepers decree it. And then, it shall be so. 

Mobius: And how are the old Time-Keepers? 

Renslayer: How do you think? 

Mobius: I don't know. 'Cause I've never met 'em. Thankfully. Although, I shouldn't say that. That one looks... 

Renslayer: The Time-Keepers are monitoring every aspect of this case. I've never seen them so involved. 

“Why are they so involved though?” Sam questioned. 

Renslayer: They want that Variant caught. 

Mobius: So do I. 

Renslayer: And this is the last chance you're gonna get with this Loki. She signs a paper and hands it to Mobius. 

Mobius: Great. That's all I'm gonna need. Thank you, R Slayer. He signs the paper and looks at the pen. I don't remember this. This must be from that analyst you keep on the side. 

Renslayer: Stay focused. 

Mobius: Eyes on the road. 

Ravonna: Mobius? 

Mobius: I was almost gone. 

Renslayer: You really believe in this Variant? 

Mobius: Mmm... Luckily, he believes in himself enough for the both of us. And, hey, if it doesn't work, I'll delete him myself. He's really arrogant. 

“Really, really arrogant,” Nat said.

He walks out the door and whistles for Loki to follow him. 

Loki: You're probably wondering what happened out on the mission. That was your first lesson in catching a Loki. Expect the expected. Half the fun of being a trickster is knowing everyone knows you're a trickster, and then, many of your tricks can come from exploiting the fact that you know that they know... 

“Reverse psychology at its best,” Tony said. 

Mobius: Okay. Just shut up! Please. 

This caused everyone to start laughing again. 

Mobius: What happened to the guy I met on the elevator? Who didn't like to talk. Remember him? Now I'm stuck with this guy who won't stop yacking away about what makes a Loki tick! 

Loki: What? Isn't that precisely why I'm here? 

Mobius: No. I don't care what makes you tick. You're here to help me catch the superior version of yourself. That's it! 

Loki: Hang on. I'm not sure "superior" is actually quite the right word. 

Mobius: See? There it is. Right there. I believed, stupidly, that insecure need for validation would motivate you to find the killer. Not 'cause you care about the TVA mission or bein' a hero, but because you know this Variant is better than you and you can't take it. 

Loki: Very nice. I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. He fixes Mobius’s tie. 

“That’s kinda gay,” Peter whispered to Ned. 

“Definitely,” Ned whispered back. 

Loki: I'm ten steps ahead of you. I've been playing a game of my own all along. 

Mobius: What, charm your way in front of the Time-Keepers, hustle them, and seize control of the TVA? 

“Please don’t give him ideas,” Nat said. 

Mobius: Am I getting warm? A double cross by history's most reliable liar. 

Loki: Okay. Why are you in there sticking your neck out for me? 

Mobius: I'll give you two options, and you can believe whichever one you want. A, because I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold. And you kinda feel bad for that ice runt. 

“What does he mean by ‘ice runt’?” Clint questioned.

“Probably has something to do with him being adopted,” Nat answered. 

Mobius: Or B, I just wanna catch this guy, and I'll tell you whatever I need to tell you. They go inside the elevator.  

Loki: I don't need your sympathy. 

Mobius: Good, 'cause I'm runnin' out of it. What's this? Next step of your manipulation... 

Mobius: This is the final step. Your last chance. 

Loki: Oh, and what does my desperate last chance require? 

Mobius: Work. 

Loki: Work? 

Some more laughing. 

Mobius: I need you to go over each and every one of the Variant's case files, and then, give me your... How do I put it? Your unique Loki perspective. And who knows? Maybe there's something that we missed. 

“Probably,” Vision said. 

Loki: Well, you're idiots. I suspect you probably missed a lot. 

Mobius: That's why I'm lucky I got ya for a little bit longer. Let me park ya at this desk. And don't be afraid to really lean into this work. Here's a good trick for you. Pretend your life depends on it. I'm gonna get a snack. Mobius leaves. Loki starts to read through the file. 

Loki: Oh, my goodness. Don't tell me the Variant ambushed and killed another team of Minutemen. And stole their reset charge as well. 

“Why is he taking them though?” Tony asked, “like what the hell would the god of mischief need disintegrating time bombs for?” 

Shh. Loki turns around and shushes the person back. 

Peter and Ned laughed. 

Loki: Hi. Hello? The librarian ignores Loki until he rings the bell. 

Librarian: Can I help you? 

Loki: Yes. I'm on some important TVA business. Follow-up to a field mission. You know how it goes. We red lined near the apex, and... Well, it's never good. 

“Sorry Loki, but no one there is going to put up with your bs,” Tony sassed. 

Loki: Um, I'd like all files pertaining to the creation of the TVA, please. 

“I highly doubt she’s gonna give it to you,” Sam said. 

Librarian: Those are classified. 

Loki: Okay. I'd like all files pertaining to the beginning of time then. 

Librarian: Those are classified. 

Loki: Okay, the end of time. 

Librarian: Those are classified. 

Loki: Okay, what files can I have? 

Librarian: Happy reading. She hands him the file about himself. 

Everyone laughed again. 

He moves some files around and sees one that says ‘Destruction of Asgard’. 

“What?” Tony asked in shock.

The file says total planetary destruction,

“What happened?” Nat asked.

“Isn’t Ragnarok the end of the world in Norse mythology?” Peter asked.

 zero variance energy detected, entire civilization annihilated. Loki starts to cry. 9,719 casualties. 

“Is Thor one of those casualties?” Wanda asked.

“Hopefully not,” Clint responded. 

He looks at zero variance energy and then gets up to show Mobius what he found.

“He found something,” Tony pointed out.