Files
Pacing the floor of their hotel room, Allie paused briefly to look at Steve. Opening her mouth, she shut it just as quickly and resumed pacing. Steve sighed and sat back in his chair, waiting for whatever it was that his sister would have to say.
"You're sure that he's alive?" she finally asked, pausing long enough to look at him. Her arms were folded against her chest, almost as if to give herself a hug as she waited for his answer.
"Yes," Steve gave a small sigh, but still looked her in the eye. "He is very much alive."
"But– but how? I mean, you told me that you saw him falling from that train," she remembered that night piece-by-piece. The way she had believed that some cruel joke was being played on her. She had desperately hoped that her husband was alive, and now she was being told that he was? "Steve, I need the truth about this."
"I don't know everything," he admitted, sitting forward and propping his elbows up on his knees. "What I can say is that he was being experimented on at that facility. The one I got the boys out of."
Allie frowned and took a breath as she listened to him. She swallowed as she took in what he had to say. Slowly, from the back of her mind, she pulled the memories she had of the day that she had reunited with Bucky at the basecamp. She remembered how ragged and bloody he had been. It only took a moment, but she began to connect the dots.
"I know that you were the one who took care of him," her brother began. "Do you remember anything odd about it?"
"I do," she nodded her head slowly. "He was bloody all around his temple and ears. I cleaned out what I thought were cuts and abrasions, but once the blood was wiped away, there was nothing. It was almost like he could have claimed he had someone else's blood on him."
"He had been strapped down to this table and Zola had been experimenting on him. I don't know exactly what all he was subjected to during that, but he was definitely tested on," Steve explained, looking at her shocked and widened eyes. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but—"
"It's important for me to know," Allie interrupted and she took a deep breath. "Just keep telling me what I need to know."
"Allie, whatever it was that they did to him, it saved his life," he continued to explain.
"So, he was completely unharmed from the fall? He's all okay?" she almost looked desperate, though Steve never would have told as much.
"Well, yes. At least, for the most part."
Allie's eyes narrowed at once. She didn't like the sound of that. She thought of every scenario in her mind. Was he blind? Had he suffered some sort of terrible amnesia? What exactly could Steve had meant?
"He lost his arm," her brother explained. "Other than that, he was completely fine physically."
She swallowed harshly, picturing what he must have looked like after the fall. She hadn't been there that day, so how could she have known just how far he had fallen? They had been high enough from the snowy ground below that Steve believed his best friend dead. What shape would Bucky have looked once he had reached the snow-covered leaves and dirt?
"Alright, so he's missing his arm," she shook her head after a moment. "It happens in war. Many soldiers lost their arms and legs. Hell, some even lost eyes and ears. Is that all?"
"Physically, he's fine," Steve continued, frowning and swallowing harshly. "Mentally, not so much."
"What do you mean 'not so much'? What happened?" her heart sank.
Steve sat back in his seat, reaching up and rubbing his temples. "Let's just say that you weren't the only one who was experimented on, messed with, tortured all those years. Allie, did you ever learn who exactly you had followed?"
"No," she shook her head. "I only knew the place as 'The Lab', and I never learned about any group or organization. It was almost like it was just, I don't know, ambiguous to me."
"Well, we know that Bucky was taken by Hydra. They continued their experiments, gave him this cybernetic arm. He was brainwashed, turned into a weapon. It was like he was an entirely different person."
Allie took in what her brother was telling her. She knew that Steve had obviously seen what had been done to Bucky. A part of her, however, wished that he was just lying. She so desperately wished that he was lying, just as she had the night he came back without her husband.
"So, where is he?" she pursed her lips in thought. "Is he back at the Compound?"
"Allison, I haven't seen him in a year," her brother almost looked sick to his stomach as he said it. "I can explain it better later, but Hydra had made its way into S.H.I.E.L.D. and that of course raised a number of issues. He was sent to kill me."
"But he didn't," she frowned, thinking for a moment. "Which has to mean something, right?"
"I think so," he sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "He almost succeeded, but he stopped. I fell into the Potomac, and he could have let me drown. He didn't. He pulled me out."
"Which means he has to remember who he is, right?" she tilted her head to the side. "Steve, where is he? Do you at least know that?"
"If I knew where he was, I would have him here," Steve assured her. "He might be your husband, but he's still my best friend. Sam and I have been looking through dead ends and leads that we can find. The bad thing is every time we think we're getting closer to finding where he is, we find our leads are about someone else or they just have nothing to them."
Allie didn't find that she had anything more to add. She ran through what Steve had told her. Bucky was alive. He had lost his arm, but otherwise he was physically okay. His memories had been taken from him, and he'd been turned into nothing more than a puppet for Hydra, but something had triggered some sort of memory for him. He had saved Steve's life instead of taking it.
Steve was looking for Bucky. It wasn't as if he would be gone forever. Allie took in a deep breath and finally nodded at her brother.
"Well, thank you," she pursed her lips and looked him in the eye. "For telling me about him. If he's alive, if he saved your life, it means he's still in there. We just have to find him."
Steve took in a breath and nodded. He frowned a bit at the thought of having no idea where Bucky could possibly be, but he couldn't deny that there was a small part of him that had a deeper determination to find him. After all, he needed Allie and Bucky. To him, they were the most important parts of his life. They made him feel as if he wasn't alone.
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The trip back to the Compound was uneventful. Allie asked a few more questions about what she had missed, asking what facts she had right and wrong about the past seventy years. Steve promised to give her his list of what to look up. After all, he had found new things he liked after he really sat and went through the list.
They had stopped on their way back to allow for Allie to regain a semblance of a wardrobe and basic cosmetics, things to make her feel normal once more. She stood in her room organizing what they had purchased upon the arrival home.
Steve had dismissed himself, telling her that he was going to schedule his meeting with Secretary Ross about her status. Allie couldn't help but feel the overwhelming amount of stress that sat on her shoulders as she thought about it. She didn't know Secretary Ross. She didn't think she could trust that he'd be easily forgiving or eager to allow her to stay.
She knew that she would have meetings with Tony coming up to start testing out her abilities, something she dreaded. Pulling out hangers for her clothing, she began her work at tidying up. A small knock sounded at the door, and it didn't take much to know who was there.
"Hi Wanda," she glanced over to the door. "Come on in. I'm just going through and putting things away."
"How are you feeling?" Wanda asked, playing with the cuffs of her sleeves as she had the last time they sat together and talked.
"Well, I learned to pieces of news," Allie started as she hung up a small number of dresses. "The first is that the Dodgers left Brooklyn, so they're traitors in my book. What's worse? I can't root for the Yankees! I hate the Yankees!"
Wanda couldn't help but laugh as she watched Allie's brows furrowed and she frowned deeply. She stayed away from reading her mind, instead making her best attempt to read Allie's expressions. As the blonde turned to look at Wanda, she gave a deep sigh.
"Steve told me about Bucky being alive," she admitted. "I'm assuming everyone here knows about it."
"To some degree or the other," Wanda admitted. "I've heard him discussing it with Sam, but I've never said anything to either of them about it."
Allie gave a huff of a laugh, almost a hollow puff from her nose. She hung up the last of the dresses and turned her attention to the pants and folded shirts that sat in piles. She was provided a small dresser, happily using it to hold her clothing.
Wanda watched Allie for a moment, giving a small smile as she watched her new friend sit beside her. When she had seen into Allie's mind, she had seen everything. Every good moment, every bad moment. Every moment that Allie could have exploded from joy, every moment that she was convinced she was falling apart.
"I'm sorry he's not here," Wanda looked over at her.
"I'll just give him an earful about it when we finally find him," Allie joked softly. Her hand went to her locket, holding it tightly there as she thought about him. Glancing over at Wanda, she pulled her lips into a thin line. "Did you know that there's a big Captain America exhibit in Washington? Steve took me to go and see it."
"I vaguely knew about it," she nodded. "I'll admit, I haven't been there myself."
"Imagine seeing yourself one display after another," Allie shook her head with a small laugh. "I saw all of these pictures of myself, of Steve, Bucky, the boys. It was... something else."
The two sat for a moment, taking in a bit of peace. There was no sound bouncing down the halls, both suspecting that it meant the others were training or in meetings.
"So, I was curious," Wanda began as she looked at Allie. "I saw that you had papers with the name 'Mary Louise Morgan'. Was there a reason?"
"My best friends during the war," Allie explained after a moment. "They were the nurses I was placed in a bunk with. Mary Evans, Louise Bailey, and Evelyn Morgan. All three of them went on to join my team of nurses once it was finally being formed. I figured it was the easiest kind of name to take."
Another knock sounded against Allie's doorframe. Both looked up to see Steve holding a file. He looked between the two, walking up to Allie and placing it in her hand.
"Sorry to interrupt you two, but I thought you might want to be able to look through these," he began. "I know you'll have more questions, but maybe this gives you more context about what we had talked about."
"Steve, Wanda knows," Allie gave a sorry twitch of a smile. "You don't have to be all that discreet around her."
"Right," he looked over at Wanda. Pointing down at the file, he smiled softly at his sister. "Well, um, it's what I've got on Bucky."
Wanda looked between the siblings, glancing only for a moment at the pair. The file and papers about Bucky began to be opened and laid out in front of Allie. Watching as Allie's smile dropped completely, Wanda wasn't sure that it was the best idea to have her invading the moment.
"I'll leave you two to talk," her lips quirked into the smallest of grins as she nodded to Allie. "I'll see you at dinner."
"Oh," Allie blinked. "Okay. I'll see you then."
Allie turned her attention back to the files. They were different documents about assassinations, missions, times and dates. Steve watched as her brows furrowed, her eyes narrowing as her fingers just lightly touched the papers in front of her. She was studying each word, each typewritten piece of language she saw.
"I know you've said that you don't know who you followed," he started as he took a seat on the edge of her mattress. "But something tells me they somehow had some kind of intelligence on Hydra. I'd be willing to bet that that soldier they knew of was Bucky."
Allie couldn't breathe for a moment. She felt ready to vomit. For a moment, she braved picking at memories in the back of her mind. Was there any one time she had heard more than the mere mentioning of a soldier? And yet, the soldier never had to be poked with needles to keep from going into hypothermic shock. But then there was the news that Steve had shared with her.
Her eyes scanned over the names listed within the assassinations, her jaw dropping at a few that she saw. Locations, events, debriefings, they were all listed out page after page. Her heart sank into her stomach when she reached one name that stood out.
"Steve," Allie's eyes fell onto a particular photo of an old friend. "You weren't completely honest with me, were you?"
He met her eye, though she was surprised he could. Howard was older in the photo, wrinkles lining his features and his style just slightly different from the man she had known. It was visible, the way the years had piled onto his shoulders.
"What really happened?" the weight felt heavy as she asked.
"I don't know everything about it," he frowned. "But he was murdered."
"I can see that," her fury came without warning. Springing up from where she sat, she walked over and closed the door behind her. "Are you going to explain to me why you didn't tell me that it was my husband?"
"There wasn't a reason to," her brother argued. "You were already having to sit with everything you saw in the museum."
"That's a bullshit excuse," Allie spat at him. "You could have told me while we were on that trip, and then I wouldn't have to be finding out something this serious when I'm supposed to go and work with Howard's son before we know it."
Steve let out a sigh, shaking his head and closing his eyes. His lips pulled into a thin line as if he didn't know what to say to her. She had her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed.
"Steve, I understand that it wasn't his choice to do this," she held up the document. "But Howard was our friend. Howard wanted to help us when we got home. Does Tony know about this?"
"No!" his voice was just a touch louder than it should have been. "He doesn't."
"You're hiding this from him?" her free hand wrapped around her locket. "He deserves to know."
"It's not the right time," Steve ran his hand through his hair. "Allie, I've been looking for Bucky since that day he brought me out of the river. I can't risk Tony trying to stop that at every twist and turn. That's what would happen if he knew I was looking for Buck. Imagine what would happen if he knew that Bucky killed his parents."
A lurching feeling washed over her. She was ready to vomit before she found her footing and sat on her bed once more. With every new detail she learned, she wondered what Bucky was thinking at that exact moment. After all, he wouldn't have had a clue that she was still alive. He wouldn't have any idea that she had powers.
Did he even remember her? What if she joined her brother in his search for Bucky, only to find that Bucky had moved from her completely? What if he had no memory of her and was starting a new life somewhere where he couldn't be found.
"Allison?" Steve's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Allie, we're going to find him. You have to understand how serious this is, but we'll find him."
"Why is it that every bad thing that's happened since the start of the war involves Hydra? They experiment on him, they almost kill both of you, they almost kill me. They made me think my husband died and then they take you away from me. What they did to him, what they made him do..."
"I know," Steve nodded his head. "I'm sorry."
"Steve, did he really not remember anything?" she frowned as she looked at him. "Does he remember me?"
"I don't know," he was honest, and Allie almost wished that he had lied to spare her feelings. "He didn't then, but he very well could now that he's been on the run." For a moment, he looked at his sister. Her face had paled and dropped in quick succession. "Allie, I would think it's safe to think he remembers you. When you were attacked, he was so scared that he didn't know what he was going to do if anything had happened to you."
Memories of the day she and Bucky had spontaneously decided they would be married flooded her mind. She wanted to believe what Steve was saying, but the only way she would know was if they found him.
"We can talk more about this later," he said as he took the papers and files from her. "We'll find him."
She sat there, silent as he stood and began to take the files with him. Before he reached the door, she turned to face him.
"And are you going to tell Tony about his dad?" she asked, meeting his eye.
"Not right now," he kept his voice low and steady.
With a small nod of her head, she watched as Steve left her in her room. He hadn't been there long, but it had been long enough to rattle her for the evening. She wanted to scream and shout, wondering why they of all people had to face what stood in their way.
Why weren't they allowed to live out their lives in Brooklyn? Why did they have to be in a different century? Why did her husband have to be kept as a prisoner and a weapon, something she knew he never would have wanted.
Bucky had never wanted to be in the war to begin with. He had been drafted. Yes, he had agreed to be a part of the Commandos, but would he have agreed if it wasn't for Steve leading the team? He wouldn't have wanted what happened.
Wherever he was, right at that moment, was he okay?
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"Alright F.R.I.D.A.Y.," Tony was stood with a handful of almonds. "Let's a run another test on Elsa over here. Figure out what this whole fire and ice thing is about."
Allie felt she deserved a prize for having contained her eye roll and glare. Instead, she pursed her lips and sat in the seat Tony had pointed to. Her brother had told her that he would be there when the tests were done, yet he was running late. Tony had used F.R.I.D.A.Y. to run a number of tests on her. From learning about the composition of her mind to the composition of her physical being, she wasn't sure she had ever experienced as invasive and embarrassing of tests in her life.
She didn't know what else to do but countdown the minutes until it was all over. After Tony told her they had just run the last test on her, Allie found she could finally take a deep breath. She watched as Tony completely ignored her and instead focused on bright lights that sprung to life around him. Transparent images surrounded him as he began to swipe through, studying different components and making notes.
"What are those?" the question escaped her lips before she could remember that she wasn't keen on talking to Tony.
"Holograms," he answered bluntly. "You're looking at the actual wavelengths of your mind."
The sounds of footsteps could be heard in the hallway before Steve entered the room. Tony glanced over for just a moment before turning his attention fully to the sights in front him.
"Sorry," Steve whispered to her as he walked in and stood beside her chair.
He couldn't make sense of what he was seeing in front of him, watching as Tony looked through, sorted, plucked different information in front of him. Allie watched the holograms that surrounded Tony, her jaw dropped in amazement. She glanced to her brother who seemed to be used to the sight.
"So, what are we looking at?" Steve finally asked after a small, curious hum came from Tony's throat.
"It's frequencies," Tony glanced over at Allie, looking her up and down. "Whatever these powers she has are from, her brain recognizing and interacts with them through these frequencies. This would be the fire, and this would be the ice," he pointed at two more prominent series of frequencies.
"And the two below?" Steve continued. "Do we know what those are?"
"Those would be other powers," Tony explained. "Alright Snow Queen, you have any idea about these?"
"No," she shook her head. "I don't. I didn't know I had anything other than fire and ice."
"You have plenty of other things going on her. These would be something similar to your fire and ice. They could really be anything, but you would have to have an idea to try and figure that out."
"So, they would have been able to give her these abilities?" her brother was focused, his thoughts clear to see as he met Tony's eyes.
"For all we know, she could have always been predisposed to them. Whatever they did could have just, for lack of a better term, unlocked them. Cap, we've seen a hell of a lot that suggests it could be the case."
"So, I've always been a freak and we're finding out now?" her brows furrowed.
"That wasn't what I said, but yes," Tony shrugged, earning a glare from Steve.
"Allie, it doesn't make you a freak. It just means you've got abilities that you can use for good or for bad. I'd say by learning about them, you're using them for good," Steve added.
She thought for a moment, looking back to the holograms. Noticing more information that she hadn't the foggiest idea of what they meant, she bit the inside of her cheek and pointed to it.
"Apart from the frequencies, what does all of that mean?"
At her question, Tony looked back. He crossed his arms against his chest and leaned against the table.
"Whatever you were injected with, at some point it had elements of the Super Soldier Serum. It wasn't exactly a carbon copy of that serum, which means you aren't technically a Super Soldier."
"You've got to be shitting me," Allie looked at her brother. "I did not sign up to be like you."
"I'm going to try and not be offended by that," Steve glared at her. "What effects of the serum does she show?"
"Enhanced agility, enhanced strength, both of which are only a fraction of what you show. Allie, have you noticed anything different?" Tony explained, looking over to her.
Blinking, she stuttered before pursing her lips in thought. Had she noticed anything outside of the fire and ice? Maybe she had noticed a bit more of an instinct, a quicker reaction time. Her reflexes may have improved a bit. She did know that she was far better at hand-to-hand combat than she had been during the war, but she had attributed that to more practice.
As she thought, she realized she remembered when she had first seen Steve's knew found strength and abilities back in '43. She couldn't be sure without really testing it out, but maybe she did notice a change.
"Maybe a bit? I mean, I can't hold up a building by any means, or even outrun my brother, but I didn't lose as many sparring matches," she admitted.
"Well, when you start training, we can take a closer look at it all," Tony started. "Steve, we'll get her started on a consistent schedule. She's under your watch."
"I'll take care of that," Steve agreed. "I'm meeting with Secretary Ross this week, and as soon as that is all settled, I'll get her started."
"Alright. I'll look through this some more to see if I can find anything more, but you might need to watch Blaze over here," as the words left Tony's mouth, Allie glared at him.
"Tony," Steve looked between his sister and his friend. "That's enough. Now, if you're done with her for the day, I'll take her."
"Yeah, I'm done," Tony waved his hand dismissively.
Steve went to usher Allie out of the workspace, receiving a waving hand in return. Promising that she would meet him up in the lounge, he gave her an unsure look until he was waved away again. Knowing she wouldn't budge, he nodded his head and left the room.
Tony didn't pay her any mind as he continued his work. She thought of what to say, how to ask what was on her mind, but she kept her brother in mind. Would it be wise to start a fight? Then she remembered the names he had been calling her.
"You know Tony, I don't exactly what your problem with me is, but I'm not lying about not meaning any harm," Allie narrowed her eyes, studying him as she came closer. "The past seventy years haven't exactly been a walk in the park for me. I thought I was alone this entire time, and now it turns out my brother has been alive this entire time and the world is entirely changed and different from what I knew."
Tony swallowed harshly, glancing at her for a moment before settling his eyes back to his workstation. Continuing to make notes, he gave a small sigh.
"When I was younger, I used to think my dad had a thing for you. With how much he talked about you," he frowned. "I hated your brother for having so much of my dad's attention, and I hated you thinking that he was in love with you or something. All he could ever talk about was how much he admired and missed the Rogers siblings. I never understood why my mom wasn't jealous.
"Now that I've met you, I understand why. As much as I want to be angry and hate you, I know you were more of a sister to him than anything," he took a breath. "Maybe that was all he really needed."
"Your dad, he was a really good friend to me," Allie started, her arms folded against her chest, her words coming slowly from her lips. "He was a good friend to all of us, actually. He had even offered Bucky a job when we got home. We were going to have a chance for stability when we got back to Brooklyn. By doing what I did, I left another good friend behind."
"Well, that man that you knew was different than the one I knew," his lips turned down in a frown. "Still, he cared enough to try and find the two of you."
"I can imagine he had to have been different," Allie gave a small puff of a laugh. "But he still had to have done some good. After all, you remind me of him. Which means he has a smart son, even though it is hard for me to picture him as a father."
Turning to look at her, he paused for a moment. Neither really knew what they were supposed to say. What could they say to each other? Tony swallowed and glanced back to his notes, compiling them together and meeting her eye.
"I'll get working on a suit that'll protect you. Heat resistant, immune to the harshness your ice presents, protect you from anything you're going to face," his head slowly nodded as he thought. "About these other frequencies—"
"Tony, I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to know about them," Allie held in a breath. "I didn't even want the fire and ice ordeal. I'd rather not know."
"You'll have to eventually," his voice was dry.
Her lips pursed for a moment. She knew in her head and her gut that he was right. Eventually she would have to know. After all, what would she do if she became out of control? What would she do if something so deeply hurt her that those powers chose to reveal themselves? She felt a miserable, muggy dread wash over her. She didn't want to relive a night like when she had escaped.
"I know," she nodded. "But if it doesn't have to be today, it won't be."
He gave his own small nod and studied her for a moment. Walking towards the door, he paused, and his mouth opened. Giving a small husk of a chuckle and shake of his head, he grinned.
"Don't tell your brother, but I like you better. Much less uptight," he said, leaving the room right after.
She felt as if she could breathe. Slowly but surely, it seemed as if she would win the trust of those her brother trusted.