Fire and Ice
Allie woke with a throbbing pain in her head. Her eyes were squeezed shut; a grimace plastered on her face as she came to. Groaning as she sat up and began to open her eyes, she felt her stomach drop as she saw a group of people sitting in front of her. Her stomach dropped even lower as she recognized the faces from the news.
Standing in the middle of the group was her older brother. In flesh and blood, Steve was stood in front of her. She wasn't sure if she should be elated, angry, or embarrassed. He wasn't looking directly at her. Instead, his gaze was fixed on the ground just a few inches from his feet.
Blinking and glancing to other faces that she had recognized from the news, she realized that she had royally pissed the Avengers off. Swallowing a large lump in her throat, she decided to brave speaking.
"Where am I?" she asked. Was she still where she had been? Had they traveled with her to a different place?
"We'll be asking the questions, thank you," a man retorted. His arms were folded against his chest, and he didn't appear to be her biggest fan.
"Tony, she's not a threat," Steve had finally looked up, rolling his eyes at the other man.
"Not a threat? Haven't you seen what she's done?" Tony looked at Steve incredulous.
Steve ignored him. "Allie, you're in New York."
"I knew that much," she sighed. "I know where in New York I travelled to. Right now, though, where is this?"
"You're in the Compound," Steve began. "It's where we operate."
Another lump seemed to be caught in her throat, and she swallowed it harshly. Looking around at the faces in the room, she figured she didn't have a single friend among them.
"What exactly do you want?" Tony continued to interrogate.
"I beg your pardon? I didn't want anything," Allie's eyes had widened as she sat there startled. "Apart from my brother."
Steve looked over to Tony, noticing the glare Tony had etched on his face. He was scrutinizing each inch of Allie, something that seemed to boil Steve's blood. He knew she had done something foolish, but that same determination to defend her outweighed his annoyance at her actions.
"You know, your actions haven't exactly been going unnoticed," a woman near his brother began. "I think it's safe to assume you were in Europe?"
Allie felt a weight plummet to the bottom of her stomach. How did they know about what Europe? Was she talking about The Lab? Was she talking about the small fires here and there after she had gone after those petty criminals?
"Nat," Steve's whisper was harsh and scolding.
"I wasn't going to hurt any of you," Allie looked around the room.
"Really? Then why produce that fire tonight?" Tony's voice was filled with an anger and a distrust for her. "Or let's talk about all those bodies they started to find."
"I already told you," Allie bit back at him. "I don't mean any harm to you. I've never meant any harm where I've been."
Tony listened for a moment, his eyes looking her over for a moment as if he was studying an equation. Allie stared right back into his eyes, her own narrowing as she did so.
"Alright," Tony turned to the woman Allie had faced outside. "Wanda, read her mind."
"What? Tony, no," Steve immediately glared and snapped at him.
"No, Cap, I don't trust her," Tony said with a simplicity that almost insulted Allie.
Confusion and frustration rattled through Allie's mind. She hadn't intended for anyone to be hurt when she had been using her powers. Sure, she had gone after criminals, but her intentions weren't what had happened. They had been collateral. Looking to Wanda, she frowned.
"Here's a thought: don't read my mind," Allie spat.
"Tony, that's my sister you're talking about," Steve started.
"Who's now able to create fire. I don't trust her," Tony argued back, repeating his earlier sentiment.
"Steve," Natasha started. "I understand that she's your sister. I understand that you've missed her. I understand that you want to protect her. But, Tony's right. You've seen what she's capable of."
"Did you just agree with me?" Tony asked as he whipped his head in Nat's direction.
"Don't get used to it," Nat mumbled.
Allie looked to Steve, almost pleading with her eyes to have him stop it. Where she had expected some form of further defense, she was met with Steve letting out a sigh and nodding softly.
"Allie, what you've been doing, the Secretary of State wants you thrown in prison," Steve explained. "Even if Wanda reads your mind and finds that you're being truthful, you have to understand that Secretary Ross will be even more harsh than we are right now."
"Oh. So, my brother doesn't trust me either?" her hurt was evident to see on her face.
"I want to," Steve frowned. "And I do, but I'm outnumbered right now."
"And no one will trust me until they read my mind?" she rolled her eyes. "Fine. Read my fucking mind."
She turned to look directly at Wanda. For a brief moment as she narrowed her eyes at her, Allie could almost see Wanda taking a step back. Taking a breath, Wanda walked across the room and cautiously raised her hands. Closing her eyes tightly as she put her hand against Allie's head, Wanda began to use her own abilities.
Allie wasn't entirely sure if she was supposed to be thinking of specific memories, or if Wanda would just know. She did, however, intentionally think of how angry she was at the actions happening around her.
It had been longer than anyone had expected for Wanda to read Allie's mind. Taking a step back, Wanda looked sad. She looked in Allie's eyes for just a moment before turning to face the others.
"She's telling the truth," Wanda confirmed.
"See?" Allie hissed.
"Secretary Ross won't be as accepting," Nat reminded Steve as she noticed his relieved smile.
"Maybe not, but it does give me a bit of relief to know it's not someone out of control," Steve let out a breath he hadn't realized was trapped in his chest.
"Not so fast, I'd say she's still out of control," Tony argued. "We don't know anything about these abilities she has."
Steve could only groan in annoyance. "Tony, we will figure this all out."
"Then she's your problem, Cap," Tony's eyes were narrowed and his annoyance was clear to see. "You can explain to Ross and everybody else what exactly she's done."
"I'll take responsibility for her," Steve agreed with a short nod. "But she will be staying in my care."
"Then you clean up the mess that she made," Tony's voice filled with bitterness and contempt. "You don't let her out of your sight."
Allie narrowed her eyes at Tony, scoffing a bit as she heard the words leaving his lips. "I am not my brother's ward."
"Alright Hellfire," Tony shook his head and took in a deep breath. Allie could see the thoughts tumbling over each other in his mind. The clearest thought that she could see was that he did not like her one bit. "You'll need training. We need to know that we can trust you."
"It wouldn't be the first time I've had to train before," she muttered under her breath. Her mind drifted for just a moment to the memories of Bucky when he trained her with firearms. Those days seemed so close, yet so far away. She swallowed harshly at the memory. "But I've already told you, I don't mean any harm. I just wanted to find my brother. That's all."
Steve looked to Tony, taking in a breath and parting from him to join his sister. Kneeling in front of the chair she sat in, he lowered his voice.
"I know that you didn't mean any harm, but it's going to be hard for me to defend what you did in Europe," his voice remained low.
"Excuse me? I was helping people! Those people were criminals. I was stopping petty crimes from becoming larger problems," she defended, her heart dropping at her brother's words. "I-I," she took in a breath. "I didn't mean for anyone to die. That wasn't what I wanted, but it happened."
"I understand that," he looked her in the eye. "That doesn't mean everyone else will. Allie, we already told you that the Secretary of State and Homeland Security have started looking into you. They want you put away for a long time, and they don't even know that it's you.
"I was put in charge of putting together the team to track you down and turn you in. I'm not going to do that. I won't let them put you in prison. I'll find a way to persuade them about this, but you have to understand that it isn't a good look for you."
"Well Steve, I'm sorry that I'm such a burden," she swallowed, standing quickly and walking away from him.
Steve let out a low and defeated breath as he watched her disappear down the hall. He could only imagine where she thought she was going. Then he thought that it may not have been a bad idea to leave her be. To let her explore the building and calm down. He stood to his feet and looked around the room.
"Then it's settled," Tony shrugged and looked at the others. "This is on you, Cap."
"She isn't a danger," Steve assured the others. "My sister isn't a threat."
"Steve, we haven't seen anything like her powers," Natasha frowned, her arms still tightly folded against her chest. "You haven't seen her since 1945. That's a long time for people to change."
"It's Allie," Steve shook his head, unwilling to think of his sister in a soured light. "We'll help her with her powers. We'll learn about them. That's what you and your tech are for, right Tony?"
At Steve's pointed look, Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. With a small nod, he looked around the room. For a moment, he glanced at Wanda. She had changed her allegiances, hadn't she? She was learning more about her abilities, wasn't she? Could the same have been said for Allie?
"Your father would have helped her," Steve's voice was firm. "She was his friend, too."
"Fine," the word came from Tony's lips in a sharp manner. "After you convince Ross that she's not a threat, I will help to find out more about whatever these powers she has are."
And with that, Tony left the room. Wanda and Sam had glanced to one another before glancing at Vision. The three left together, leaving Natasha and Steve as the last ones in the room.
"Steve, I know that it's your sister, but you've been through this before," she warned him. "Bucky isn't the same person that you remember. Isn't it possible that Allie isn't the same person either?"
"She's not going to be the same," he argued with a frustrated sigh. "I don't expect her to be the same. But just because she made mistakes doesn't mean I'm going to give up on her. She wouldn't do that to me."
"I just think that you should be careful. That's all," she shrugged.
"She's my sister. I trust her," his voice final as he turned on his heel and walked away.
Natasha only seemed to sigh as he left.
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"Stop!" Allie screamed. "It burns!"
"Shh," a voice next to her hushed her.
Grimacing as needles went into her arms, Allie couldn't contain the screams that ripped from her throat. It seemed that each time she was brought into the damned workshop, she left in agony.
She wasn't entirely sure how many times they had brought her into the room to perform their experiments on her. She wasn't entirely sure how she wasn't dead from what they had done. Was it her spite that kept her going? Her stubbornness? She supposed Bucky would have cracked a wise joke that it was a bit of both.
And just like that, tears slipped from the corner of her eyes. One thought of him and she was spiraling in her mind. Somehow, it did distract her from the pricking and prodding. The way her arms felt as if pure flames flowed through the veins.
Over time, Allie's arms had become riddled with scars from the needles, discolored splotches of color dotting along them from the different injections she had been given. She often wondered if she were left outside of a frozen state, would those colors start to fade? Or was she cursed to have purple and red hues dotting her forearms for eternity?
She prayed that the pain she was going through that day was the last she would have to face. She couldn't stand the thought of being put under ice yet again. They did it each and every time one of their experiments didn't work. It was as if they were putting a tool back into its toolbox, only taking it out when it was time to build or work.
Her screams of pain could be heard echoing and bouncing along the hollow halls. Anyone who was working in The Lab would know that she was undergoing the experiments yet again.
She could see the same scientist taking notes as he studied her reactions. He took her vitals and watched the injections as they were given. The words never could reach her lips, but in her mind, she always told him exactly what she thought of him.
Allie screamed in agony once again as another experiment failed to enhance her in any way. She was allowed a small fraction of time as those in the room came together, muttering about the failure, calling it her failure, and discussing their options. It didn't take long for them to make the choice she always dreaded: she would be placed under ice once again.
She pleaded, begging to be given more time before they took her back, but it was no use. She was moved from one room to another. Receiving an injection they had perfected for her times being frozen, she felt as yet again, she was in agony as she fell into her frozen sleep.
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One long and hot shower later, Allie had changed into a fresh set of clothing she had been given by one of the women. There hadn't been much of an exchange, just enough of one for her to understand that the clothes were on loan.
She wasn't sure what exactly she had expected from the Compound. She wasn't even sure that she knew just how large the building was. She almost found herself becoming lost in the halls that held their living quarters.
Her breathing was unsteady as her mind went in more directions than she could count. Thoughts upon thoughts stacked themselves up in her head. From the time of the war to her time in The Lab to that night.
Throughout the bombardment of thought rattling through her brain, she found that she wasn't sure where she was going. Was she trying to find a couch? Trying to find a lounge? Was she going to try and find someone to learn where she was supposed to go?
She settled for roaming the halls, aimlessly wandering as she swallowed harshly at memories. The truths and the lies, the way she knew she was perceived by those who her brother knew now. She wondered what had happened to her friends and why she had found herself in a time that wasn't her own.
Standing just near her in the hallway, watching as she passed by, was Sam. He didn't say anything, instead watching as she made her way down the corridor. Her eyes darted over to him for just a moment.
"Sorry. Excuse me," Allie muttered as she made her way past him.
Sam frowned, stopping in his tracks as he looked at her. Taking in a small breath, his lips twitching with a thought, he gave a small sigh.
"I'm Sam, by the way," he said. He watched her stop in her tracks as she turned to look back at him. Her face wasn't painted with annoyance or anger, but it did hold a questioning gaze.
"I would say that it's nice to meet you, but my face is bruised, and I have a massive headache from you," Allie pursed her lips and studied him.
"I'm sorry about that," he gave a small, cringing smile. "I didn't realize who you were."
Unsure of what she could say, she looked to her feet. Half of her wanted to feel affronted by what had happened, she knew that had she been in their position, she would have done just the same. Taking a small breath, she bit the inside of her cheek.
"I can't exactly say that I blame you," she admitted. "I was being honest in there, you know. I wasn't trying to hurt or scare anyone."
Sam's eyes narrowed just a bit, just in concentration as he looked at her. He could see the fidgeting of her weight from one foot to the other and the lack of eye contact. Nodding his head softly he gave a small shrug.
"I know that, and your brother knows that," he started. "But I don't think everyone will be ready to accept that right away."
"I lived through wars," she pursed her lips. "I'm used to having people disagree with me and I'm used to them hating me. I just didn't think my brother of all people would think that I'm a threat."
"He thought that with the evidence he was shown," he countered. "He wasn't given much more than the videos of where you had been. Without you being around, it's hard to think otherwise."
Allie took pause, thinking of what it must have looked like from her brother's perspective. A guilt settled in her chest. It hadn't been a one-time occurrence. There was enough for him to be sent to find a culprit. Frowning, she gave a small nod.
"I wasn't trying to cause any trouble," she mumbled.
The two fell silent in the hallway once more. As he looked at her, Sam thought for a moment. Looking past her and down the direction she was walking, he gave a small sigh.
"Here, I can walk you down to his room," he offered with his hand offering her the right-of-way.
"Thank you," she settled for the small phrase, wanting to be able to hide away once there.
They walked in silence. Allie wanted to crawl away and curl into the nearest deep hole she could find. Sam, however, was studying her. He had learned about her when he was young, just as he had learned about Steve. It was different to see her in person. She wasn't just a picture in a history book. She wasn't just a display in a museum.
Here, she was real, and she was breathing. Here, it was clear to see the pain she had been through and how miserable she felt. There were dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't known a good night's rest in a very long time. Sam pitied her.
"You know," he finally spoke to break the miserable weight that silence brought. "It's a little like I'm seeing a textbook picture coming to life. It was the same when I met your brother."
"What do you mean?" she glanced to him, her confusion showing.
"You're a part of American history. You, your brother, the Howling Commandos, all of it. I remember teachers giving specific lessons in history class about you," he gave a small shrug of his shoulders. "In fact, my sister even did a school project on you when she was in high school."
"On me?" Allie was stumped at the revelation. Someone had gone at of their way to do a project about her?"
"Well, yes," he gave a small laugh. "Your brother wasn't the only one that people paid attention to. My sister had an entire display put together about your life, your time as a nurse out there, your time as a Commando."
"There were more important people and circumstances than me," she shook her head, still perplexed at what he was telling her. "She could have done a project on a number of people or things. Why would she choose to do one about me?"
"Because not everyone out there was a woman willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of her brother, boyfriend, and friends," Sam explained. "You were more than a medic. Even your brother has gone on and on about everything you did. Well, when he was ready to talk about you."
Allie stopped in her tracks. Sam noticed, watching as her face showed her thought process. Thinking for a moment, he realized that there was a good chance she didn't know just how known she was.
"Come on, Steve's room is just down a few more doors," he nodded in the direction of the hallway of closed doors that sat in front of them.
Following him, Allie found her mind filled with different thoughts. She didn't exactly know how to feel about them, but they were there. She was a historical figure like her brother, but in recent days she had become an anonymous threat. She was finally reunited with her brother, but she didn't feel at home. She felt lost.
"Here it is," Sam pointed at a closed door.
There was nothing special about the door or the spot in the hall it was in. Opening the door, she turned to thank Sam. He gave a small nod of his head and pointed to the light switch.
"Thank you," Allie gave him a small nod. "I appreciate your help."
"You're welcome," he gave her a small smile. Pausing to think for a moment, he seemed to choose words carefully. "Allie, I know that this is a lot to handle, but you're not alone anymore. They'll start to trust you. You just need to give it time."
She didn't say anything in response. She wasn't even entirely sure that the small nod she intended to give him actually happened. She didn't know if she would have trusted herself, so could she blame anyone or be angry about not being trusted?
Sam walked away, leaving her to turn towards the bed. Taking in a deep breath, she walked over to the edge of the mattress, sitting with her back to the open door. Steve hadn't seen her since she had stormed off earlier, and she wasn't sure if he would be upset with her for it.
Out in the lounge, Steve was sat on one of the couches. Sam passed by, pausing long enough to tell him where Allie was. Steve gave him a small thanks and nod of his head. He sat for a moment more, debating if he was ready to go and see her or if she may have still been upset with him.
With a shake of his head, he decided it was more important to be with her. He didn't know what she had been through. She was his sister, and he wanted to be there for her. He wanted answers about what had happened.
Standing, he made his way to his room. He paused in the doorway, watching as she took a few deep breaths. He couldn't tell where her gaze was focused, though he wasn't sure it was focused at all.
"Allie?" Steve's voice held a hesitation as he walked into the room. He could hear a small grunt of acknowledgement coming from her throat, though she didn't look back to him. He took it as a sign to continue. "Could we talk for a moment?"
"Why? After all, I'm the issue you were going to be sent after anyway, right? The fact that all of those fires was me is causing you problems, isn't it?" she turned to look at him. "So, go and tell Senator Roth that you found me. I'm sure he'd be glad to throw me in a cell."
"It's Secretary Ross," Steve corrected. Upon receiving a deadly glare from her, he cleared this throat and walked over to sit beside her. "Sorry, that's not the point. Allie, you aren't a burden. Yes, I am going to have find a way to work around all of this, but I am going to defend you. I trust that you didn't go and start fires for the sake of starting fires."
Allie swallowed, looking back to her lap. He was going to defend her? Did she deserve the defense? She wasn't so sure that she did.
"He won't throw you into a cell. I promise," her brother continued. "You may be my 'responsibility', but you aren't a burden. You're my sister."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" she scoffed, standing and pacing slowly across the room. "Steve, I didn't ask for these powers. If I had had my choice, I'd have been able to live my life."
"I understand that," he argued. "Don't you think I'd rather have gone back to Brooklyn? I didn't ask to be displaced either."
"Oh? Well, you seem to be just fine," she spat out. "You seem to be just soaking in all that responsibility."
"Would you knock it off?" he narrowed his eyes at her. "I already told you that I'm not going to let them throw you in a cell. I can keep that from happening, but Allie I can't protect you from every bit of accountability you'll have to face. You made choices that don't exactly sit well with people."
For a moment, Allie went to say something. Her mouth closed as quickly as it had opened when she heard the harsh sigh coming from her brother.
"Dammit, we're not fighting about this," Steve narrowed his eyes at her. "I just found out that you're alive. I have my sister back and I would like to be able to keep her by me."
"I'm sorry," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I am happy to see you, even if I do want to punch you for leaving me behind."
Pausing for a moment, Steve's lips parted at his sister's bluntness. He watched as she swallowed harshly and looked to the ground.
"What exactly are we going to do about my situation? You know, with my powers and all," her lips turned down into a deep frown.
"We'll have Tony help us," he promised her. "After all, we were friends with his dad."
Allie paused for a moment, taking a breath and walking back to the edge of the mattress. Sitting down once more, she pursed her lips in thought.
"Allie," Steve said as he walked over, sitting down beside her. "It really is going to be fine. Maybe a bit tense to begin with, sure, but I know you. These abilities don't change you; they just give you something special."
"Something special?" she scoffed. "You can say it like it is. I'm dangerous. Your friends said so."
"You're forgetting that those same friends saw what happened in Sokovia," he reminded her. When Allie glanced over, she saw a frown on his face. "I'm not saying they won't trust you eventually, but I know that it'll take time. They're used to the stories I have about my sister the nurse. It's jarring to see you making fire in the blink of an eye."
"I wasn't trying to be evil or anything," she insisted. "I was just trying to find some use in all this. I've felt lost ever since I've been back."
"I believe you," his smile was half-hearted. "And eventually they will too. Still, we'll have to take it a day at a time. We'll get this whole business settled and as you learn to control it, you'll find that they trust you more."
She went silent, settling for a small nod and pursed lips. Steve watched for a moment. He knew that he trusted her. How could he not trust his sister? He had seen her put out the fire she had created with just the wave of her hand. Seventy years couldn't have possibly caused her to be so embittered she no longer cared for others, could it? He doubted it. Not when it was Allie.
"Tell you what," he started and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Tomorrow, we'll leave for a small trip. Just for a couple of days."
"And you don't think that will look suspicious? You taking the horrible problem child away for a few days?" she scoffed with a frown.
"It'll be fine," he assured her. "That way you can have a bit of peace. Besides, it's been an awful long time since I was last able to just spend a bit of time with you."
"It would be nice to do something," Allie slowly agreed.
Giving her a small and comforting smile, he glanced back at his bedroom door. Very faintly, the voices of the others could be heard bouncing down along the hallways. He was sure that some were sitting in the lounge and chatting, others thinking of going down to the weight rooms to train.
"You know, you don't have to be stuck in here," he started. "After all, it's not exactly like the old days."
"I hated sharing a room with you," she deadpanned.
"Thanks," he frowned.
"I'm sorry," she gave a small grin and laugh.
"Well, what I was going to say is that we have a few more spare bedrooms," Steve gave her a small smile. "I went ahead and set one aside for you. We can go through and make it your own later, but you'll at least have your own space."
"And clothes? I'd prefer to have my own again," Allie looked at the fabric on her body.
"I'll take care of all of it," he assured her, a small sigh leaving his lips. "For now, the bag you brought is in that new room for you."
Nodding, she stood and took in a deep breath. This was Steve. Her brother had always had her best interests in mind, and she trusted that that was still true. Hadn't she been there for him through everything in their youth? She watched as he stood as well, walking past her and beckoning her to follow.
It was only a few doors down, easy to return to his room if she needed anything at all. A few of the other bedrooms had open doors, not that she took any kind of look inside. Following him into her new room, she took in a small breath.
There on the bed was her bag, Steve assuring her that all of what had been in the bag to begin with was still inside. She gave him a small thank you, turning to study the room itself. The windows were a bit higher on the wall than what she would have preferred, but she could still see the sky outside. She supposed that wasn't so bad.
Her bed was plain, large enough that she could sleep and fidget comfortably. Making a mental note and tucking it at the back of her mind, she noticed she had plenty of space to add bookshelves and a nice desk.
Behind her, Steve assured her that they could put in a television and add a computer to the room, something she had to ask what it was. He assured her of the small things he would be able to help supply for her, only receiving the nodding of her head in response.
A silence fell over them as he allowed her to take in her surroundings. He had questions upon questions about the past few years and what she had been through. He knew, however, that it wasn't the right moment to ask.
"Steve?" her voice was soft as she looked back to him. "Are you sure that this will work out?"
"Allie, I'm not going to let anything happen. Keep your nose clean, and we'll be alright," her brother promised her. "I'm going to take care of you. I should have done it a long time ago."
Allie paused and studied her brother for a moment. He looked a bit older than the last time she had really seen him. She knew that fighting and wars did that to a person. After all, she wasn't entirely unscathed from the days that had passed. Taking a breath, she gave him a small nod.
She was quick to take a step forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him. The moment she could feel him returning the embrace, she felt at home for the first time since he had gone in the ice. She had him back.
"Hey, we can catch up later, but I'm going to go ahead and get a few things in order for us to take that trip," he smiled. "I'll see you later?"
She just nodded, giving him one last squeeze before letting him go and watching him leave. Her eyes turning back to her room, she took in the way it was much nicer, much sleeker than the flat she had lived in for the last few months.
Listening to the fading footsteps in the hall, Allie turned her attention from the room itself to her bag that Steve had brought to her new bedroom. Taking a deep breath, she opened it and began to take out her belongings. She had a few days' worth of her own clothing, taking a breath when she realized she would be able to return what she had been given.
Her journals were set aside on her nightstand. She could look through those later. In the back of her mind, she thought of how she could sit with Steve, asking what she had correct and what she may have had wrong.
A small knock sounded against her door. Startling at the sound, she turned to see Wanda standing there. Taking in a breath, she nodded her head as an invitation inside. Wanda took it as such, standing close to the door.
"Hello," Allie greeted. She dropped her eyes back to her bag and continued to unpack.
"I wanted to come and apologize," Wanda began. Glancing up, Allie noticed Wanda pulling at the cuffs of her sleeves. She was uncomfortable.
"Why?" Allie looked up to her face. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Wanda's eyes snapped up to her, confusion etching on her face. "I wouldn't call invading your privacy 'nothing wrong'. I know that I wouldn't have liked it very much."
"I already told you, it's fine," Allie frowned, turning her attention back to what she was unpacking. Laying her clothes on her comforter, she zipped the bag back up and tossed it down on the ground. "You did it to assure them I wasn't lying. I'm used to not having privacy these days."
"And that doesn't bother you?" Wanda pushed, taking a few steps into the room.
"Of course it bothers me," Allie gave a small and hollowed laugh. "But if it means that I can stay here and be around my brother again, then I'll sacrifice a bit of that privacy for the time being. Besides, I'm not going to blame you for what Tony made you do."
Allie could see the worry on Wanda's face softening away until she was just looking back at her. The thoughts were still plain to see on the Sokovian's face, but she wasn't so confused anymore.
"You know, his father would have been appalled at what happened in there," Allie gave a huff of a laugh. "His father was a good friend of mine."
"I saw," Wanda gave a small smile. "He seemed to care for you both a lot."
"He did a lot of research and aided the Commandos a great deal. He and Steve worked together closely," Allie agreed. She thought for a brief moment of those days they were all still together, and what Howard had offered herself and Bucky. At the memory of Bucky, she frowned once more.
"I know that, but I was meaning your husband," Wanda's words came out slowly as Allie's eyes snapped to hers. It was the moment she knew that Wanda really could read her mind. She hadn't told a soul that he was her husband, and surely her brother hadn't either.
"You saw that?"
"You miss him," Wanda frowned. "I could see the pain. Your grief."
"Yeah? Well, grief seems to be a theme in life," Allie pursed her lips tightly. "Life is cruel."
Taking slow steps across the room, Wanda came to stand in front of Allie. She gave a tilt of her head, pursing her own lips as if to hold in tears.
"I understand a bit of that," she looked at Allie. "My parents were killed in a bombing. My brother was killed in Sokovia."
"I've seen about Sokovia," Allie thought for a moment. "I'm sorry for what happened."
"It wasn't your fault," Wanda gave her just the tiniest smile at the corner of her mouth. "You at least have Steve."
Her hollowed laugh returned as Allie sat down on the mattress. Shaking her head softly, she looked over at Wanda. "I might have him back, but that's after thinking he was dead twice. The first time, I thought he was gone for a night. The second time, I thought he was dead for seventy years."
Wanda took a seat beside her. "You thought that Bucky was dead twice as well?"
"I thought he was dead once," Allie corrected her. "He's been dead since they captured Zola."
For a moment, the two were silent. Wanda watched as heartache became as plain on Allie's face as the freckles peppered across her nose. A burning began at the edge of her eyes, tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks.
"You know, it could have been so different if I had been there. Flu be damned, I should have been on that mission," Allie buried her face into her hands. "I always despised when I was left behind and they went on to a fight, so why would I have chosen to stay? I could have saved him."
"Or you could have died instead," Wanda reminded her. "That, I'm sure, would have devasted him."
"I should have at least tried," Allie swallowed harshly.
The two sat together for a moment as Allie reminded herself to breathe. She wasn't sure what else to do in the moment. Wanda fidgeted in her spot.
"And now, here I am, and Steve really is alive. He and I always had one another. Dad died before we ever had the chance to know him, and our mom was always so busy working that we had to learn to do things on our own. I was devasted when I thought he had died."
The Sokovian woman thought for a moment. Seemingly weighing thoughts in her mind, she herself swallowed a lump in her throat.
"How did you move on?" she asked, looking at Allie.
"I never did," a puff of air came from Allie's nose as she shook her head. "I was bitter, I drank, I agreed to follow a stranger into the night to join a project that had no signs of real success. I let myself become a lab rat for them to experiment on, and when I saw the real world again, I became a serial arsonist as everyone so eloquently wants to put it.
"So, I'm sorry Wanda, but I don't think I'm the one to find your advice from."
"My brother and I volunteered for Hydra," Wanda confessed in a whisper. "After our parents died, we volunteered for their experiments. I understand what it's like to be a 'lab rat'."
Freezing up at the mentioning of Hydra, Allie felt a sickening thud of heart against her chest. Wanda blinked and shook her head as she noticed.
"We were young. We wanted to make a difference," she explained. "Our loyalties happened to find themselves in the wrong place. More than once."
Allie took a moment to study Wanda. She may not have had the ability to read minds like Wanda did, but she could see the plain pain on Wanda's face. That wasn't something a person could fake. Her body easing, she took in a breath.
"Then I suppose we're really not that different from each other. I am sorry about your brother," Allie watched as Wanda looked up at her.
"I'm sorry about your husband," Wanda looked back to her.
Swallowing a lump that quickly sat in her throat, Allie frowned and looked down at the floor. "You know, I don't know which is worse; thinking someone is dead and they come back to you, only for it to happen again or to know someone is gone for good."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there's a permanence in death. If you know for sure that they're gone, you can work towards some form of normalcy again. But, if they're alive and then dead and then alive and then dead and then alive," Allie sighed in frustration. "It's almost like a never-ending loop. Just as you come to terms with it, you're shoved into the cycle again."
"I see," Wanda thought for a moment. "You know, when I first came here, I had a difficult time adjusting to Pietro being gone. Vision talked to me about it."
"Vision did? What did he have to say about it?" Allie's brow had risen at once.
"He suggested that grief is love persevering," Wanda's eyes had narrowed and a small smile tugged at the edge of her lips as she thought of it. "I think he's right. After all, when you think of Bucky, you're thinking of that love?"
Allie thought of the suggestion. Wasn't that she had always felt? Each time she thought that she had lost someone, wasn't it the love she had for them that caused her grief to be so overwhelming?
"He and I were supposed to go home," Allie finally said. "I know it's silly to a lot of people now, but I wanted to be a wife and mom. I wanted to stay home with the kids and wait for Bucky to come home at night. That was what I wanted."
"I don't think that's silly," Wanda shook her head. "That was your dream."
"And what is your dream?" Allie gave her a small smile.
"I'm still finding that for myself," Wanda returned the small smile. "But, for now, I'm grateful for being able to stay here. Even if it has some unpleasant encounters that happen."
Allie was sure she had turned red from embarrassment. Thinking of what had happened, she remembered having attacked Wanda. It struck her at once that Wanda may have sought her out, but she had still scared her.
"I really am sorry about that," Allie cringed.
"Forget about it," Wanda smiled. "Something tells me it's going to be a funny story. Sort of like how you met Bucky?"
"You saw that far into my memory?" Allie was bewildered.
"Thankfully he only had a shoe to worry about," Wanda teased. "But I think you and I will be just fine."
"Friends?" Allie held her hand out, Wanda taking and shaking it without a second thought.
"Friends," Wanda agreed.
Continuing to sort through a few of her belongings and prepare them for her small trip with her brother, Allie felt a sense of relief being able to talk to Wanda. It was bittersweet in a way, thinking of her friends so long ago. Mary, Louise, and Evelyn pierced each thought she had, the guilt pricking at her still. But, even so, looking at Wanda, Allie didn't feel as alone in her circumstances.
Allie had someone there who understood her.